They are officially a reboot of "Hands" at this point. Some aspects of the original will make their way in, but now I have the experience to make it all come together better.

I hope...

I gave it my all and for years I have tried to get Hands properly concluded. But the simple truth is, I am a different person than the one who started a crazy Human in Equestria parody that became indistinguishable from the real thing.

So in light of this, I have decided that Hands will never be continued as is.

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Well, that's easy to answer: After writing five-six new Pony fics in a month, I'm a little burned out. So my muse is recuperating while I work on a few other things. After all, if this stops being fun, why do it at all?

But you'll still be getting Plot Bunny Theater updates and some snippets too, so stay tuned.

Andrew Shepherd, the Lone Human, the Sword of Equestria... Was feeling down as he sat in an armchair in the Golden Oaks Library. Chrysalis, former Queen of the Changelings and now Friendship Intern, had been reading some books on beekeeping while her little Changelings played in a playpen nearby. Shepherd sighed. Chrysalis rolled her eyes.

Chrysalis: "Stop moping."

Shepherd: "I'm not moping."

Chrysalis: "Twilight and the others will be back soon! And you are moping."

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When it comes to Hands, I think I'll focus on the short shots for the time being, like "The Stars Revolt" and so on. I need to do some cleanup for the TRON arc. So I think a main focus of those Hands shorts (Or Short Hands, ha) will be on Shepherd in the middle of crisis situations in Equestria. Surprisingly, he tends to stay out of a lot of the drama ponies have.

Spike actually enjoys his company as they both commiserate on how nuts ponies can be.

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When Shepherd shows "The Little Mermaid" to his Pony friends...

Fluttershy: So... She traded her voice and possibly her soul just for legs? That seems... A bit much.

Twilight: Isn't she a demigoddess? Shouldn't transforming be one of her powers? It's not that hard a spell to learn.

Applejack: Aw ain't sure o' her jest abandonin' her family like this over some guy she ain't even conversed with. Even after her daddy broke her stuff, it's a little too fast fer me.

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Shepherd: Damnit! How the hell did I get a reputation as the Sword of Equestria?! Chrysalis!

Chrysalis: Oh gee, could it be that you punched out King Aspen and made him sue for peace? Or kicked those Diamond Dogs to the curb? Or, oh, I don't know, defeated an entire Changeling invasion force?

Shepherd: Wha-Twilight and her friends did most of the work there! How am I the one becoming more famous?! I'm the sidekick, not the hero!

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Shepherd, Sword of Equestria, and Twilight, Princess of Friendship, have been summoned to Canterlot for an important job...

Celestia: *Trotting along with Shepherd into the throne room* "You see, Luna and I need to go on an important diplomatic mission."

Luna: "Vitally important."

Celestia: "And we need someone to handle things in the meantime."

Shepherd: "Okay."

Twilight: "Absolutely, Princesses! You can count on me!"

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Two days after Twilight Sparkle ascended to Alicorn and she was crowned a princess, Shepherd found her... In the kitchen, bags under her eyes, looking miserable and alone. He frowned deeply, and sat down beside her. He wrapped an arm around her, and pulled her close. She didn't resist, but she didn't engage in it either-She was like a doll, motionless.

Shepherd: "Twilight? ... Are you all right?"

Twilight: "... Bad dreams. That's... That's all."

Shepherd: "What about?"

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Fluttershy: "So, Shepherd, Twilight... This is Treehugger, my friend. Treehugger, this is Andrew Shepherd, my coltfriend, and Twilight Sparkle, my marefriend."

Treehugger: "Sup."

Twilight: "Hello!"

Shepherd: "Hey... You smell very, er... Herbaceous."

Treehugger: "Thanks. You say funny words. They flare in my aura very nicely."

Shepherd: "... Sure. So, what's up?"

Treehugger: "We're going to meditate and smell the incense."

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Cadence and Twilight are talking in her sitting room.

Twilight: "You know Cadence, I have to ask..."

Cadence: "Yes?"

Twilight: "Chrysalis as you tried to place a mind control spell on Shepherd, but all it did was just creep him out. I was wondering if he was immune to other forms of mind control magic, like your love magic."

Cadence: "It isn't technically mind control, you know... But all right!"

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Twilight is looking for Shepherd near the Schoolhouse. She then hears some yelling and laughing. She sneaks up through the foliage to watch... And she smiles.

Shepherd is in a bowtie and jacket, carrying a scewdriver. He walks with Applebloom, Dinky and Sweetie Bell out of a cardboard box that's painted blue.

Shepherd: *In a British accent* "Come along, Ponds and Clara! We're on this strange alien world so let's have fun!"

Applebloom: "Oh no, Doctor! There's a Weepin' Angel!"

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During the Dragon Lord incident, Twilight is freaking out that Garble has the Dragon Staff. Shepherd... Is unconcerned.

Twilight: "But don't you get it, Shepherd?! He's going to declare war!"

Shepherd: "On Equestria."

Twilight: "YES! A whole war with the dragons!"

Shepherd: "I wouldn't worry too much about it."

Twilight: "WHAT?! WHY NOT?!"

Shepherd: "I sent a letter to Princess Celestia about the situation. She's got it well in hand-I mean hoof."

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Shepherd: "So Blueblood... About the Galloping Gala?"

Blueblood: "Oh, with Lady Rarity? I was deliberately acting childish and spoiled to seem unappealing. Like Knob and Knocker the Foal would. I thought she was just another gold digger. That was my fault."

Shepherd: "... Of course there'd be a horse pun for historical figures here."

Blueblood: "It could just be a result of the translation spell."

Shepherd: "Translation spell?"

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Shepherd: *Yawning, relaxing, reading a book* "Haaa... What a beautiful day..."

The Mane Six minus Twilight gallop up to him.

All: "SHEPHERD!"

Shepherd: "Hm? What is it, girls? Something wrong?"

Dash: "We need a temporary leader while Twilight's at the Crystal Empire-!"

Applejack: "But we're all votin' for ourselves-"

Rarity: "And we need you to break the tie!"

Pinkie: "Yeah!"

Fluttershy: "Um, if that's okay? I don't really want to be leader-"

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Discord: "BWAHAHAHAHA! Oh, sweet, wonderful chaos!" *Is making cats and dogs dance in tutus while juggling exploding bananas*

Shepherd: "Pfffft."

Discord: "What-Do you not approve, Shepherd?"

Shepherd: *rolls his eyes* "Well, it was cool seeing you warp reality like this... But after a while it all got... Samey. I mean, chocolate rain? Really?"

Discord: "Hmph! I'm centuries old! Do you really think you can judge my chaos? Come on! Say it!" *He pokes Shepherd in the chest*

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In a field near the Everfree Forest...

Shepherd and Chewie are fighting furiously, a pitched battle of grit and sheer masculine strength! Shepherd swung his staff, extending it, but the Manticore leaped over it to try and pounce! Shepherd rolled, retracting his staff and swinging it again as hard as he could at Chewie's front paw! Chewie took the hit, but jumped forward to slash at Shepherd! His claws caught on Shepherd's shirt, and the human pulled back, his shirt coming off!

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Cheerilee: Is waiting for Applebloom's guardian to arrive for the parent-teacher conference. Surprisingly, it is not Applejack who trots in as usual-It is Shepherd

Cheerilee: "Eh? Shepherd? What are you doing here?"

Shepherd: "Applejack is off on a mission, so she asked me to come in her place."

*Applebloom was actually with him, beaming*

Applebloom: "He's lahk mah daddy!"

Cheerilee: "Well... Okay. Please, sit."

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Shepherd: *Sitting down to a meal with a cow... And it's steak*

Shepherd: "Er... You sure you're okay with this?"

Cow: "Oh yes. Circle of life and all that!"

Shepherd: "I mean, you knew this cow."

Cow: "Yes."

Shepherd: "And she was close to you."

Cow: "As close as enemies can get. Hurry up, she's getting cold!"

Shepherd: "..." *Slowly cuts a piece. Lifts it to his mouth. Takes a bite.*

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Shepherd's Jobs Number 4: Diplomat

King Aspen: "So as you can see, this treaty will only require minor reparations of your lands, a mere half of the Apple farm-"

Celestia: "... Andrew? Would you come in please?"

*Shepherd walks into the conference room with a gun*

Shepherd: "Yes, Your Majesty?"

King Aspen: "!!! HUMAN?! THEY'RE REAL?!"

Shepherd: "Uh, hi. The gun's not loaded, don't worry-"

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