• Member Since 27th Jul, 2011
  • offline last seen 10 hours ago

Andrew Joshua Talon


Just a fellow traveler...

More Blog Posts291

  • 6 days
    Happy Independence Day

    Now I will say this: Yes, these are hard times. But hard times have always existed. Yes, our country has failed to live up to its ideals at times... Which is why we need to work all the harder for them to be reality.

    But today? We celebrate freedom. We celebrate the city on the hill. We celebrate the courage to tell a bunch of greedy overbearing government officials to shove it.

    Read More

    2 comments · 97 views
  • 1 week
    Hands: Canceled

    I gave it my all and for years I have tried to get Hands properly concluded. But the simple truth is, I am a different person than the one who started a crazy Human in Equestria parody that became indistinguishable from the real thing.

    So in light of this, I have decided that Hands will never be continued as is.

    Read More

    22 comments · 772 views
  • 1 week
    The Stars Revolt: Trap

    Dash: "I bet you that you can't catch Twilight with a book."

    Shepherd: "I... Why?"

    Dash: "Because it would be funny."

    Shepherd: "And the stakes?"

    Dash: "... Twenty bits."

    Shepherd: "You're on."

    And so...

    Shepherd: "Hmmm... I need to be really diabolical about this..."

    He puts a book entitled "DON'T READ THIS BOOK" under a box held up by a stick

    And hides

    And waits

    Read More

    7 comments · 403 views
  • 1 week
    Plot Bunny Theater: Simulations of Evil

    Thanks to Big Mac, Spike and Discord's O&O sessions, Twilight gets the idea to try training and simulating different scenarios for the Elements of Harmony and their allies to Live Action Role Play. And of course, one of those is What If Twilight Turned Evil?

    Twilight: "BWAHAHAHAHA! BOW BEFORE ME, PITIFUL MORTALS! KISS MY HOOVES! I AM NOW YOUR QUEEN!"

    Read More

    8 comments · 162 views
  • 1 week
    Plot Bunny Theater: Lucky and Twilight's Hangover

    https://mlp.fandom.com/wiki/Lucky_Clover

    Lucky Clover: The pony whose cutie mark is based on luck. On some days, his luck is the best in the universe! Everything comes up Lucky Clover!

    On other days, his luck is the kind that drives a pony to drink.

    Read More

    3 comments · 120 views
Dec
10th
2019

Hands: Brains · 2:33am Dec 10th, 2019

Shepherd: "So Blueblood... About the Galloping Gala?"

Blueblood: "Oh, with Lady Rarity? I was deliberately acting childish and spoiled to seem unappealing. Like Knob and Knocker the Foal would. I thought she was just another gold digger. That was my fault."

Shepherd: "... Of course there'd be a horse pun for historical figures here."

Blueblood: "It could just be a result of the translation spell."

Shepherd: "Translation spell?"

Blueblood: "Yes! Twilight probably put a translation spell on you when you first met. Helps to understand other races more easily. You can speak in other languages of course and learn them, but the translation spell is much faster-At least for sapient beings. Not so much for animals."

Shepherd: "What does this spell... What does it entail?"

Blueblood: "Well, it just rearranges the neurons of your brain to better process other languages. Nothing too invasive."

Shepherd: "You mean she literally used her magic to-to rearrange pieces of my brain?! When we first met?!"

Blueblood: "Yes! Very quick thinking on her part."

Shepherd: "I'm starting to see why she was fine with all that experimenting on me..."

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Comments ( 14 )

That's not ALL she rearranged! (wink, wink, nudge, nudge know whut I mean?)

Little help on the Knob and Knocker the Foal reference?

Dear God, I love Blueblood redemption stories. I love the idea that he's not an irredeemable asshole. Instead, he is just tired of the constant gold diggers trying to marry their way into royalty and money.

Also, I like the idea that he is a prince due to some old bloodline. Like, he's a descendant of Princess Platinum.

Huh, depending on how she did that, there could actually be some interesting consequences. If she literally rearranged the language center of his grey matter, then he'd be writing and speaking Equestrian without thinking anything had changed. Which would actually become a massive problem if he ever spoke to anyone who didn't have the translation spell on them, or tried to watch/read anything from Earth. Either he'd be speaking horse to any other English-speaking Human, or he'd flip through a book from Earth and not understand the alien scribbles.

5167063
Hear, hear! The best though are those stories that stick with the episode's characterisation overall, aka a prissy, kinda cowardly fop, and make it work.

5167102
And just imagine what his home sounds like to the horsies.

"Well, I come from Apeville, in the Hairless Monkey Mountains, on Primatia."

Although, probably not as bad as some actual names. Like "Kill the Jews" in Spain (they recently changed it), or Wankville and Fuckmill (roughly translated) back in my home.

I thought she was just another gold digger.

In his defense.... she kinda was :rainbowwild:

The Grand Archmage, Steven Edwin Ambrose, speaks with a distraught Shepherd:
"So, Twilight mucked around with your brain, huh?" The Grand Archmage asked.
"Yeah, she did," Andrew replied, "I mean, I guess it worked out for the best but what it-?"
"What if half of what you've been hearing has been an incomplete or incorrect interpretation/translation and every conversation you've had since arriving in Equestria has a new, subtle meaning that hinges on the sinister?" Steve completed.
"Yeah, that," Andrew confirmed.
"Well, if you'd like," STeve continued, "I can check to see if there's any brain damage done to you and, if you're willing, provide a more complete and/or competent interpretation matrix charm that won't be anywhere near as invasive as what Twilight has foisted on you."
"Thanks, but i think the damage is done," Andrew sighed, "besides, she didn't know any better."
"Yeah, that's Book Horse, alright," Steven lamented, "she tends to think of a magical resolution to her most pressing puzzles before actually learning about other solutions. In my Tangent, she's gotten better about that. Thankfully, I didn't get subjected to her ministrations."
Andrew asked, "Why not?"
"Well," Steve began, "it seems Ancient Imperian and Olde Equish have the same basis for existence: as a trade language. So, communication between to the two species was easy to establish, if you forgive Tribe Proletariat of murdering Tia and Lulu's parents. If memory serves, though, that didn't happen in this Tangentā€¦"
"So you didn't have magical brain surgery?" Andrew asked.
"Eenope," Steve replied, "about the only surgery I underwent, that I was conscious of, were the three synaptic relays installed along my spine after my throw down against Tirek. Fluttershy, my Fluttershy that is, was about three quarters of a hoof short of murdering for me real after that. I have gotten better in my spellcraft and martial combat, so I don't take as many injuries as beforeā€¦"
Andrew moans, "What a charmed life you must lead-!"
"Hey, boyo, that's my line!" Steve exclaims.

5167157
Not really, no. If anything, she was a social climber. She didn't care about his money, she did care he was a prince!

Not that that makes it any better.

5168231
I think that falls squarely in the "kinda" I used :ajsmug:

5168236
Fair enough! Really, Blueblood should go talk to his sister/cousin, Cadance. He needs to find himself a mare. Bloodlines don't go on without some effort put into it. I'm sure there's one or more right mares for him.

5167063
5167126
To be fair, there are a lot of story opportunities that require a stuck-up noblepony and why not use a character who seemed to fit that description in canon? This is the reason why I only have the one MLP OC; there are so many background ponies, toyline-exclusive ponies, ponies from previous generations, alternate versions from the canon alternate worlds, native Equestrian versions of characters we've only met in said alternate worlds... you get the idea. I mean, I managed to finagle an Alicorn of Death out of a background pony, and that's the sort of hole a saner man would expect to need an OC for.

(For the record, the alternate worlds I'm referring to are the ones in Equestria Girls and the Reflections arc in the comics, although if you can find a way to use things from the Season 5 finale then good for you)

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