• Member Since 27th Jul, 2011
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago

Andrew Joshua Talon


Just a fellow traveler...

May
26th
2020

Plot Bunny Theater: Have you Ever Heard the Tragedy of King Sombra? · 1:21pm May 26th

Deep in the Canterlot Archives sits a small, unassuming black pyramid-shaped artifact. Left alone, it has been collecting dust for centuries. But one day, the princess's own apprentice Twilight Sparkle happens across it. She is briefly interested, but is then distracted by finding her actual quarry... Until she hears a voice in her head.

"Hello...? Is anypony out there? Anyone? Please... It's been so long... I'm so alone..."

"What? Who are you?"

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May
20th
2020

Plot Bunny Theater: Prince Knightmare · 10:28pm May 20th

Twilight Sparkle is in Golden Oaks Library, hoping to get away from the hardcore partying on the night of the Summer Sun Festival. She goes downstairs, fumbling in the dark as her horn isn't casting much light.

Also, Pinkie Pie is bouncing after her.

Pinkie: "So did you like the hot sauce prank? I can make it hotter if you'd like! Or get you vodka! You look like a vodka drinker!"

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May
10th
2020

A Joke for Modern Times · 3:45pm May 10th

A suspected Covid-19 male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student female nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.

"Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."

He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?"

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Report Andrew Joshua Talon · 352 views · #joke
May
1st
2020

Plot Bunny Theater: Cutie Mark Crusader Necromancers YAYYYYY · 5:42am May 1st

The Cutie Mark Crusaders got their hooves on a book of necromancy, and try to use it to raise Applebloom's pet mouse from the dead.
Applebloom: "Aw shucks... This stupid spell ain't workin' at all!"
As the rest of the Ponyville Graveyard rises from the grave
Applebloom: "Mister Squeakers ain't ever comin' back!"
Bright Mac: "Howdy Applebloom!"
Pear Butter: "Howdy little one!"
Applebloom: "... Who are you? Why do you smell so bad?"
"Ya don recognize your own parents?"

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Apr
29th
2020

Final Fantasy VII Remake · 7:22pm April 29th

Final Fantasy VII-X are key games in my childhood... Well okay, my teenagerhood. And they're very close to my heart. So the remake understandably had to be very, very high quality. I mean, I'd been hurt before by Star Wars. Star Trek. Doctor Who. Hell, even Final Fantasy has been fucked up lately.

All those great franchises, cast down into flames by incompetent, uncreative, idiotic, malicious, foolish HACKS who don't deserve to pen jokes for fucking Popsicle sticks!

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Report Andrew Joshua Talon · 183 views ·
Apr
23rd
2020

Proposals · 1:23am April 23rd

*It is night. Andrew and Fluttershy are sitting in a tree, gazing up at the gorgeous starry sky*

Andrew: It's gorgeous...

Fluttershy: *sighs* Y-Yes... I was afraid of the night when I was little.

Andrew: Me too, you know. When I couldn't get back to sleep late at night I'd wander my house because I was too afraid to stay in my room all by myself.

Fluttershy: *She nuzzles him* Mm... I would have gone with you. Then we wouldn't have been afraid... *She smiled*

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Mar
29th
2020

Plot Bunny Theater: Super Flash · 7:20pm March 29th

So, Flash Sentry (the human one) has been exposed to raw, uncontrolled magical energies a lot. And the side effects are showing up... As increased strength, speed, agility and endurance, and maybe heat vision. To the point he's breaking doors when he opens them and crushing his fork when he picks it up. So he's going to need training with the rest of the Main 7 to master these abilities!

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Mar
22nd
2020

The Stars Revolt: Bouncing Baby 3 · 4:18pm March 22nd

After all of this, Shepherd is finally feeling much more steady. He and Twilight are cuddled up in her castle on a couch.

Shepherd: "So... It feels a bit rushed... And not very romantic, but-Will you marry me?"

Twilight: *giggles dorkily* "I-I will!"

Shepherd: *kisses her* "Mmm... Wow. I feel a lot less terrified now that I've asked."

Twilight: "Well I was going to insist on it. I mean, you have no idea how hard my mom's been riding me about-"

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Mar
18th
2020

Plot Bunny Theater: The Other Fluttershy · 2:35pm March 18th

As it turns out, there are a multitude of hot mares in Ponyville who are all down for casual sex. Downright enthusiastic for it, in a wide variety of ways with a wide variety of partners. But they only appear one at a time and at random moments. And the truth is... They're all one mare.

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Mar
15th
2020

Plot Bunny Theater: Just Friends · 5:33pm March 15th

So, as it turns out, Twilight Sparkle isn't quite the innocent mare she seems to be. Back in Canterlot, she did have a coltfriend and a marefriend! Flash Sentry and Moondancer. That said, it really was little more than an arrangement of "sexual release partners", friends with benefits at best. Twilight kind of forgot about them after she went to Ponyville, but Flash and Moondancer both had some issues after she left.

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