Stranger in a Strange Land: "Paternity"

In the Canterlot Throne Room, Discord appears from the stained glass windows. He cackles in merriment.

Discord: "Bwahahaha! Oh, how long has it been, my dear Celestia-!"

Ryan: "DAD?!"

Discord: "Say what-?!"

Ryan: "My mother said I arrived in a flash of chaos magic! I appeared by your statue! So... I mean, that does kind of make you my father."

Discord: "That is completely illogical and based on the flimsiest of evidence!"

Ryan: "Oh..."

Discord hugs Ryan and pats him on the shoulder.

Discord: "Which only proves you to be my boy! It's so good to meet you at last, son!"

Twilight: "... Wha-?!"

Celestia: "Well, if you were to be a father, a deadbeat one matches you perfectly."

Discord: "Please darling, I'm hardly the one to blame! And let's not fight in front of Junior. He has enough issues as it is!"

Celestia: "By the way... WHERE'S MY FOAL SUPPORT YOU BUM?!"

Discord: "I was locked in a statue!"

Celestia: "You can't use that excuse every time!"

Discord: "If anything *I'm* his mother!"

Celestia: "What?!"

Discord: "He showed up closer to me than he did to you! I'm obviously the mother! Who's ever even heard of a child popping up next to their father, not their mother, hmm?""Celestia: "Don't think you're getting out of foal support that easily, mister!"

Discord: "You're a princess, I'm destitute! Broke! Poor!"

Celestia: "A deadbeat, a mishippothrope, a liar, a cheat-!"

Discord: "Stuffy, irritating, arrogant-!"

Celestia: "Terrible in bed!"

Much gasping.

Discord: "Oh yeah? We'll just see about that! Your bedroom, five seconds!"

Celestia: "You're on!"

They teleport out... The castle begins to shake and there are sounds like the quack of a duck... Backwards.

Ryan: "... And this is where I'm scarred for life."

Twilight: "Same here..."

Pinkie: "First time?"

Comments

[NachoTheBrony]

lol

[FoxyLove]

LOL

[midnight arrow]

i am now going to read the story that i forgot was in my favorites because of this

[PirateLord93]

I was just thinking he's very late on the child support then

[ShadowLDrago]

Discord: "You're a princess, I'm destitute! Broke! Poor!"

You're a reality warper with no understanding of the economy and no interest in physics. Money is no object to you.

[Winter_Solstice]

Wait...that means...Celestia...and Discord...

Tia! You...SLUT!!

[Jrarulez]

XD what just happened!? I can just imagine a story, regardless of length, based on this alone.

[Bruuuuuuuuh]

Lol