• Member Since 27th Jul, 2011
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Andrew Joshua Talon


A fellow traveler...

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Dec
4th
2019

Hands: Shepherd's Jobs 4 · 3:10am Dec 4th, 2019

Shepherd's Jobs Number 4: Diplomat

King Aspen: "So as you can see, this treaty will only require minor reparations of your lands, a mere half of the Apple farm-"

Celestia: "... Andrew? Would you come in please?"

*Shepherd walks into the conference room with a gun*

Shepherd: "Yes, Your Majesty?"

King Aspen: "!!! HUMAN?! THEY'RE REAL?!"

Shepherd: "Uh, hi. The gun's not loaded, don't worry-"

King Aspen: "NEVERMIND WHAT I JUST SAID! YOU CAN HAVE EVERYTHING! WE SWEAR FEALTY TO YOU AND BEG YOUR FORGIVENESS!" *He bows, with the rest of his terrified entourage*

Celestia: "Thank you Shepherd. That will be all. Would you like to have tea afterwards?"

Shepherd: "... Sure?"

Celestia: "Wonderful!"

Last edited: Yesterday at 9:51 PM

Comments ( 9 )

You can get more accomplished with a kind word and a gun than just a kind word.

I see someone remembers Deer Season well.

I wonder how much Shepherd misses venison from his old life...

Is it just me, or did he seem more freaked out over the human than the gun?

Much later.

King Aspen bellowed, bring me the Chronicle of King Bambi. Man is in the forest.

5164040
Speak softly, and carry a big boomstick.

5164044
Or the old Daffy Duck cartoon. But when Angel's on the other arguing side, you know you're in trouble.

When in doubt, call in the woodwraith.

5164070
I imagine humans have hunted deer with bows, spears and knives for far longer than we have with guns.

Plus there's the whole persistence hunter aspect where we would literally run down our prey to exhaustion. So imagine actually living out a chase scene from a horror film where the creature after you always manages to catch up and never seems to get tired.

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