The Daily Show presents: Equestrian Interviews

by Daily Show Ponies

Episode 16 [Changeling]: Pygmalion or Ryne

The more he thought about it, the more he he felt stupid for agreeing to listen to the creature that infiltrated his office.

When Trixie still lived in the same house as Jon, she made him promise that he wouldn’t turn her over to Celestia for traveling to the human world without permission. Even when she annoyed Jon the most, he always kept his promise, so even when someone who looked, acted, and sounded like Trixie presented him with similar proposal he still felt honor bound. Even though the person in question was another Changeling like the one who almost killed Trixie Jon still couldn't break his promise... very stupid.

“So very, very sorry.” The Changeling repeated.

“Sorry for what?” Jon asked with angry eyes that were aimed squarely at his Changeling adversary.

“Sorry for... well, a lot of things actually.” He claimed. “Firstly for turning into your friend Trixie... It was a cheap shot, but... it was the only way to get you to stop and listen to me.” To show why he had to do what he did the Changeling rubbed his stomach where he had been kicked a few times. At the time Jon still felt proud of himself.

“Also, I’m sorry for deceiving my way into your world, I just... had to see you and explain something to you... which brings me to my next point.” The apologetic creature continued, before bowing his head, taking a deep breath and looking back at Jon with sorry eyes. “I’m so sorry for what my Queen did to you.”

Since the attack, Jon had received his fair share of apologies from a lot of people. From fans of the show who were giving him condolences, to even Celestia herself who, like Jon, felt partially responsible for what happened, but never did Jon think he’d be hearing it from a Changeling, a servant of the very person who set this all in motion.

For some odd reason, rather than thinking that this was a cynical attempt to enact round two of the full on invasion, something about this Changeling’s heartfelt apology seemed genuine. Or at least genuine enough for Jon to hear him out.

“You... are?” Jon asked.

“Yes, I mean... what she did was... horrible.” He continued. “Word travels fast in Equestria and when I heard about what she did and... and how she did it... I knew I had to come here.”

There was a niggling suspicion in Jon’s mind that his intentions were more than just that, but for the sake out of sheer curiosity, he decided to stay on track.

“Shouldn’t you be mad at me?” Jon asked. “You do know that because of us, your mom was almost imprisoned at Canterlot Castle right... last I saw her, she was in really bad shape.” Talking about how much Chrysalis was injured from her last visit made Jon smile a bit.

“She’s not my mother.” The creature corrected in a slightly sullen town of voice. “I mean yes... she’s the leader of the Changelings... but not all of them.”

Sensing that there would be a lot to talk about, Jon, without breaking eye contact, walked behind his desk, picked up his fallen chair, and sat down.

“Explain.” Jon demanded. To get a better view of Jon from his now perched spot, the once disguised Changeling flew to a seat across from the desk.

“To put it simply... Queen Chrysalis controls a large colony of Changelings back in their domain.” He explained. “Have you ever heard of how we came to be who we are.”

“I have.” Jon answered. “You were once all ponies until a dark magic corrupted you... and turned you into monsters.” The way he explained it made both parties cringe.

“Yes well... some of us were only partially changed.” He explained, causing Jon to lift an eyebrow as this new information. “Every single one of us were altered physically... but some of us retained our minds. For some of us, in rare cases, the corruption only changed the outside and not the inside... Most, if not all, of these particular Changelings either left the colony to form a peaceful group or went out on their own to pursue their dreams.”

Like many ponies in Equestria, Jon did not know this.

“I am one of the few who kept their sanity.” He went on. “We aren’t like the others.”

“Hmph. Well obviously you are. Stealing another pony’s identity to sneak your way into my world seems pretty typical behavior from where I’m sitting” Jon sneered, his words as hurtful as one would expect. “Tell me, young man, what did you do to the real DJ Pygmalion, huh? Did you ask nicely before taking his place, or did you physically force him to go along with this.”

“Well... actually... ” He said. “I... I am DJ Pygmalion.”

The assumption on Jon’s part that all Changelings were ravaging monsters who went around stealing ponies in the dead of night was now slowly starting to peel away.

“Wait... you’re Pygmalion?” Jon asked. “As in... the one that Octavia and Vinyl talked about?”

“Remember when I said how some of the Changelings... who left the colony branched out on their own to do pursue their own calling?” He asked, getting a tentative nod in return. “That’s what I did... to follow my dream of being a musician... which would be difficult if everyone saw you as a monster so... I came up with DJ Pygmalion.”

When he finished his explanation, by uttering his name, he briefly turned back into his grey coated and oranged main form before quickly transforming back.

“Wait... so... the pony everyone knows as DJ Pygmalion... is actually... you?” Jon ventured further.

“Yeah, it’s complicated I know, but... it was the only way I could survive outside the colony.” Pygmalion explained.

“Is that how you managed to get here?” Jon wondered out loud.

“Exactly... I didn’t technically sneak in.” Pygmalion added. “Since the attack on your world, Princess Celestia has been doing routine magical background checks to make sure that everypony is who they say they are to be sure the same thing doesn’t happen again. When you allowed me to come here, she did the same with me... and determined that I was indeed DJ Pygmalion... not knowing that Pygmalion was a Changeling the entire time.”

It was more or less at this point that Jon was wondering whether this one little Changeling was a genius, extremely lucky, or if Celestia sucked at doing her job.

“So... DJ Pygmalion... is actually a Changeling.” Jon summarized.

“Yes, but that wasn’t always my name.” Pygmalion corrected. “It’s just the stage name I created for myself when I set out on my own... my name... the name that the Changelings know me as is Ryne.”

Leaning back in his seat, Jon rubbed his eyes with his left hand and slid it down across his face. This was all a lot to take in.

“Ok Ryne... tell me... Why are you here?” Jon asked.

“Huh?” Ryne responded.

“You heard me... Why are you here?” Jon repeated. “You’ve obviously given this a lot of thought, and don’t tell me it was just to apologize because I know it had to be more than just that.”

“Um... yeah there is.” Ryne whimpered. Jon leaned forward in anticipation with an idea of what he would say, he just wanted to hear him say it. “With your permission... I’d like to be on your show.”

“Of course.” Jon thought to himself. “It never changes.”

“Please just hear me out.” Ryne said, his front hooves now on top of Jon’s desk. “I can certainly understand why you’d be reluctant, but let me explain.” Before he could however, Jon interjected.

“You must think I’m some kind of extraordinary idiot.” Jon rebutted.

“NO! Not at all!” Ryne insisted. “Please, I just need to--”

“What you need?” Jon interrupted. “No... let me tell you what I need... I need to look out for myself and the well-being of my family, I need to do my job without fear that some creature who may or may not be a monster will show up, and damnit, I need my friend back!”

With heavy breathing, Jon sat back down his chair while Ryne respectfully stayed silent and waited until it was his turn to speak.

“Again... I’m sorry for what happened to Trixie. But you see... that’s why I want to go on your show.” Ryne explained with sad eyes. “Mr. Stewart... back home, we Changelings are looked at as monsters, and ever since the wedding incident and what happened with you... it’s gotten worse.”

Jon found it difficult to feel sympathetic for him, but out of misguided respect he listened.

“Some ponies have even talked about... getting rid of us for good, and that scares me.” Ryne gulped. “There are others out there, like me, who are just trying to do good, but without proper context nopony will ever know of them... It’s difficult to build good relations with the ponies in Equestria when all the Changelings who do good are in hiding and the ones under Chrysalis are out there causing trouble... which is why I came here today to ask for your help... please... let me use your show as a conduit... to explain to the world that not all Changelings are bad.”

If there was a theme to how Jon was feeling at that very moment, it would be “internal conflict.” He was now starting to feel swayed by the words of this seemingly kind hearted creature, but on the other hand he couldn't help but see him as a physical symbol of that that had happened to him.

“You’ll forgive me if I’m not... very enthusiastic about your proposal.” Jon commented. “I’m not sure if you’ve heard or not, but the last time a Changeling wanted to be on my show, it didn’t turn out so well... could be another evil, albeit risky, attempt to just use my show to gain power, just from a different angle... for all I know, you saw Chrysalis do this and decided to try it yourself.”

“And I understand that, but... but here! I’ll make it easy for you! We can do the show off the air on recording... that way you’ll know for sure that I won’t gain any power from people who are watching. I just want to spread my message of peace and love, I don’t care when you air it... also I’ll stay in my Unicorn form so as to not arouse any suspicion or chaos... I just want to spread my message.” Ryne said with a determined look on his face. Before continuing, he flew across the table, grabbed Jon’s cell phone from off his desk. “And if that’s not enough, here... if you truly want nothing to do with me and my plan, you can call Celestia and turn me in... as Ryne the Changeling.”

A look of surprise, greater than when he first discovered that Pygmalion was a Changeling, appeared on Jon’s face. Now there was no longer any doubt in Jon’s mind that this creature was the real deal.

“But... if you want to help me... you can call her and tell her that DJ Pygmalion made it alright and he’ll be on the show.” He continued. “The choice is yours.”

A silence in the room soon followed with the only person making any noise was Ryne whose wings buzzed as he hovered over Jon with his own phone in his hooves. Jon didn’t know what to say or do, about all he could do was look upwards at the Changeling drone, and he found him surprisingly less terrifying than before. As if his hand was moving on it’s own, Jon reached forward and grabbed his personal device, whereupon he made a few finger gestures and looked back up at Ryne.

“You do realize, all I’ll have to do is say the word... and Celestia will use her magic to do god knows what to you.” Jon warned.

“I know,” Ryne said.

“I mean she sent her own sister to the moon.” Jon added. “Imagine what she’d do to you.”

“I well aware... but... I trust you.” Ryne assured him. Placing his phone on his desk Jon took a deep breath stood up to look him in the eye.

“But why me?” Jon asked. “Why come to me for your Changeling baggage. Why... why didn’t you go to Celestia after Chrysalis invaded Canterlot with the same idea?”

“Are you kidding!? Do you know what she would have done with me?” Ryne answered. “After the wedding disaster, we became the number one hate figure... plus given the history prior to that, if I had gone to her, she would have imprisoned me for sure... I came to you because I knew you’d be more understanding.”

If he was trying to guilt Jon into submission, he was certainly doing a good job of it. When he received fan mail while in the hospital, he recalled reading a few with some less than appropriate words about the Changeling species.

“Plus with your show, you have a greater influence than Celestia could ever have... with my identity being closely kept secret enough to slip by and the fact that two of my friends had already been on your show, I knew that I was in the perfect position to do this.” Ryne continued. “I know you don’t owe me anything and I would perfectly understand if you wanted to send me packing but... please... please, do this for me... I know we Changelings aren’t your favorite bunch of creatures but... what Chrysalis did... and the way she makes us all look bad I... It’s... DAMNIT, IT’S NOT FAIR!”

No one was more surprised by Ryne’s outburst than Ryne himself. He was so surprised, in fact, that he quickly flew back to his seat across from Jon and eagerly awaited to see what the famous comedian would do next. For a while, he did nothing but stare at Ryne with a seemingly emotionless face before slowly lifting his hand to press a single button on his phone.

Ring ring ring

Jon had now dialed Celestia's number, but since it was on speaker so both he and Ryne could hear it. This made the Changeling drone nervous since he was going to hear for himself his own fate. Would Jon choose DJ Pygmalion or Ryne?

Comments

[nanorider426]

Oooh! Suspense! :D