//------------------------------// // Parental confrontations // Story: School of Hard Knocks // by Hoopy McGee //------------------------------// “Wh-wh-wh…” was all he could say for a while. I gave him some time. It was the least I could do after knocking his mental train right off of its rails. Eventually he looked up at me and, while pointing at the jar with a shaking hoof, spoke in a harsh whisper. “Where in Equestria did you get that?” I frowned at him. “Guess.” I watched as the wheels spun in his mind. He’d gotten the answer already, and I could tell he didn’t like the way it tasted on his mouth. Eventually he just spat it out. “It was you in the warehouse.” It was a statement that felt like a question. I nodded. “Good guess.” “How? Why?” “I managed to grab the shipping manifest a couple of nights ago, on that first sleepover. Figgy had come over to ‘persuade’ Mulberry to pass the shipment through without it being inspected by customs, and I—” “He did what?!” He really shouldn’t have tried shouting, because he spent the next minute or so coughing. I waited patiently until it wound down. “That bastard,” he rasped when he’d settled down. I nodded again. It was an assessment I agreed with. “I was curious what would prompt someone to try and convince his own sister-in-law to commit a felony,” I told him. “So, I grabbed the manifest and found out. Aldavii Nectar. About five thousand a jar, right?” He gaped at me. Fillies aren’t supposed to know that type of thing, his expression told me. Time for a little push. “What was your cut?” I asked him. “Before you got greedy and lifted one to sell on your own, I mean.” He drew in a shocked breath. I let him process what I’d told him. What was going to come out of his mouth next was almost definitely going to be a lie. “They offered me five percent of the gross,” he said, and now it was my turn to be surprised. “How do you know these things?” “Maybe I’m just precocious,” I said. “Or, maybe I’m an undercover customs agent magically altered to look like a little filly.” He looked like he half believed me. I gave him a hard grin. “Whatever else I am, I’m also somepony who’s going to protect Plum and Mulberry from all comers. And that includes you, Tapioca.” He drew back, and I saw the shock and anger on his features. “Hold it,” he said roughly. “I never said I agreed to their offer.” “Right,” I said. “This is all just some massive misunderstanding. Right?” I didn’t bother hiding the disdain. “I don’t really care if you believe me, kid,” he said, eyes narrowing. “But I’m the one who’s been protecting this family. And if you did this, then you’re the one who put them right back in danger!” I couldn’t exactly deny that, but I needed answers more than he needed an explanation. “That’s a nice sentiment. But if you really want to protect them, you’ll turn yourself in.” “I tried that,” he said, then snorted angrily. “Why do you think I’m so messed up? I took a jar straight to the police office and tried to blow this whole thing wide open. They have cops on the payroll, kid. I got seven kinds of crap kicked out of me, and then some damned zebra potion forced down my throat.” I scowled up at him. “That sounds likely.” “It’s the truth!” He had another bout of coughing after that. “It’s true,” he said more quietly. Dammit, but I couldn’t have chosen a worse time for this crap. My head was already pounding from a lack of sleep, and I was having a hard time fitting my thoughts together. But at that moment, my instincts were telling me he was telling the truth. I filed that thought away. Instincts or no, I needed evidence. “Say I believe you,” I said. “You have any proof to back this up?” “None that I’m going to share with a little filly,” he said with another snort. “Or a magically altered customs agent,” I pointed out. “Yeah. That sounds likely,” he said, shooting my own sarcasm back at me. I gave him a humorless grin. “Chains. The red policepony unicorn.” His eyes widened and his jaw dropped. “Yeah, I know him. I’m the one who decked him last night. Still think I’m a regular filly?” He eventually snapped his mouth shut. “If you did, then I owe you one. That bastard’s been coming out here two or three times a week, making sure I’m still staying well under his hoof.” A couple of puzzle pieces clicked together. “You’ve got something on them, and they’ve got something on you.” The frightened look on his face told me I’d struck gold. “What he’s got is my health, and my family,” he whispered. “I do anything to upset the status quo, bad stuff happens.” I felt a flash of anger when he said “family”. It was just like these bastards to threaten an innocent mare and filly to keep somepony quiet. “He’s giving you a treatment for the zebra poison they gave you. Just enough to keep you alive but not enough to cure you,” I guessed. I was on a roll. His eyes widened again and he nodded. “Either that, or he’s giving you more poison in order to keep you sick, and just telling you that it’s the antidote.” That’s when I could tell that he was more honest than I’d first thought. His face went slack and his jaw dropped. It was obvious that he hadn’t thought of that possibility. Maybe it takes a slightly twisted mind to even consider the chance of disguising a poison as an antidote. “As for what you have on them, I’m sure I can guess. Some names, for sure. Shipping manifests. Dates and times. Contact names in Zebrica. Maybe some contacts on Equestria, too.” Poor stallion. The hits just kept on coming. “How the hell… You’re really a customs agent?” He reached for his water with a jittery hoof and ended up spilling more down his front than he got into his muzzle. I gestured noncommittally. I’m not above lying to criminal suspects, but I try not to lie to the good guys. I still wasn’t sure which he was. “Tell me you’ve got that proof hidden somewhere safe,” I said. He nodded. “Good. Where?” He opened his mouth, then shut it again. “Not going to tell you,” he said stubbornly. “If anything happens to me, though, a copy goes to each major newspaper, as well as Celestia’s court.” “Good. If you get a chance, get a copy ready to go to Luna’s court, too.” He looked startled, and then he frowned at me as if he wasn’t sure what to make of me. Finally, he nodded. “Right,” I said. “We’ve got that out of the way. Now the most important thing. Get your family out of Hoofington. Today.” “Why?” he asked. I considered what to tell him. I decided to go for broke. “I stayed over last night, remember?” He nodded, looking concerned. “And then I went to the warehouse. Saw Chains and some huge bastard named Breaker.” I saw him shudder. “You got away from Breaker?” He sounded impressed. After having seen that wall of pony muscle rushing towards me, I couldn’t blame him. “To be fair, I don’t think he ever actually laid eyes on me. He was too far away. But Chains got a good look. That thing Figgy told you about him not seeing me was a lie, he definitely saw me. And he saw who I was with.” The realization sparked in his eyes almost instantly. “No,” he said in a pained whisper. “Not Plum?” I nodded. Outrage and despair filled his voice as he shouted, “Why was she there?!” More coughing. I waited while he hacked a lung out. “She followed me. It wasn’t part of the plan.” Not that it made it any less of my responsibility that she did so. “The good news was that she was wearing her Mare Do Well outfit. He might not have recognized her.” “But then again, he might have,” he said. He was cradling his head in his hooves, not looking at me. “Yeah. He might have.” A few seconds ticked off of the clock. “Get out today. Leave town. Go to Mulberry’s sister’s place in Greenrock.” “I can’t,” he said. He sounded miserable. “There’s nowhere I can go that they can’t get me. Greenrock? That’s a few hours’ walk away. And Figgy knows about it.” “Then pack up for a family vacation to Manehatten. Or Fillydelphia. Or, hell, even Canterlot.” He shook his head. I stomped a forehoof. “Your family is at risk, here!” “Because of you!” he shot back, low enough to not trigger more coughing, but harsh enough that he might as well have been yelling. “Because of me.” I nodded. No point in denying it. “But knowing that isn’t going to keep Plum safe.” I’d hurt him with that one. I could see it in his eyes. “They said that they keep an eye on the train station. As soon as I try to run, they’re coming after us. All of us.” He sounded miserable. “They’d have nothing left to lose by taking us. And they have a few cops on the payroll. They could make it look official.” I flinched. He could be right. That’s the way I would do it, if I were the bad guys. Silence reigned for a couple of minutes, each of us lost in our thoughts. “Seems to me...” I said eventually. He lifted his head out of his hooves and looked at me with watery eyes. “Seems to me that, if we can’t run, and we can’t fight directly, then we need to get sneaky. We need a plan.” “Oh, great.” He rolled his eyes. “What could go wrong? It’s only my family at stake, that’s all. What possible plan could we make that could be carried out by a sick stallion and a crazy filly?” “What, are you kidding?” I said with a slightly maniacal grin on my muzzle. “Those are our greatest assets.” ~~*~~ It wasn’t long after that when I left the Pudding residence for what I hoped would be the last time that day. I frowned at the street in front of me as I walked, deep in thought. We’d thrown around a few ideas for a plan, but we hadn’t able to come up with much. I might have done a better job, but I was exhausted and my headache felt like somepony was smashing a frying pan repeatedly into my skull. I promised him that I would be back after I got my head together and called it a day. I was still missing some critical details on the situation, but Tapioca had filled me in on at least some of what he’d known. Like that the name of the pegasus in the warehouse was Dust Devil. Like how there were at least two more ponies in the crew that Tapioca knew by face but not by name, another earth pony and a pegasus. And that the pony running the operation went by the name of Mister Sunshine. I’d written everything down in my school notebook so I wouldn’t forget any details. When I’d taken my leave, he’d made some noise about not wanting to let me take the nectar with me. What put a stop to that was when I’d told him that it was a bad idea to leave it with him. If Chains found it, it wouldn’t go well for his family. The jar was still in my saddlebags, bumping my side every other step. Damned if I knew what I was going to do with it. I tried to make plans, but my exhausted brain couldn’t get a grip on anything, my thoughts scattering faster than I could organize them. My headache was getting worse, creeping it’s way up the back of my neck from my shoulder blades and tightening like a vice around my temples. With any luck, I could sleep it off once I got home. I stumbled and yawned most of the way back to my house and finally let myself in through the front door. My mom was there in a heartbeat, her shrill voice drilling into my head while she demanded to know why I was back so late. “The Deal, mom,” I told her simply, too damned tired to get mad about it. “I get to go out and hang out with friends and stuff, remember? We just agreed on it.” Her eyes narrowed. “I’m not sure I like this new part of the Deal if it means you can stay out so long, making me worry like this.” And just like that, I wasn’t too tired to be mad. “You want to start canceling parts of the Deal you don’t like, Mom?” I said, drawing myself up to my full, if miniscule, height. Frustrated rage started bubbling into my voice. “Maybe I can start doing the same.” Her muzzle worked soundlessly as she tried and discarded several different responses. She finally settled on, “Go to your room.” It’s where I’d been going anyway, but now it was the last place I wanted to go. “Maybe I’ll go back out and see if Plum wants to play some more.” “I am still your mother!” she said, stomping a hoof. “And I’m your adult son!” I shouted back, my voice breaking as my rage vented. She reared back with a look of shock on her face, as if I’d slapped her. The shouting had left my throat raw. “Eh, fine. I’m going to go to bed. Wake me for lunch.” “You… you’re going to sleep?” “Stayed up late with Plum last night,” I said. “I’m tired. Going to bed.” If she said anything else after that, I didn’t hear it. I stomped up the stairs and into my room. The first thing I did was strip off my saddlebags and then empty them. The sweaty and stained superhero outfit went into the dirty clothes hamper. I might as well get it washed, just in case I needed it again sometime. The flattened remains of my lunchbox I set inside an empty dresser drawer. The jar of illegally imported nectar needed a better hiding place than my lunchbox did. I got on my belly and wriggled under my ridiculously huge bed. The underside of my bed was a dusty and derelict graveyard for box after box of shoes and accessories, ones that my mom had gotten for me but which didn’t fit in my closet. Belts, hats, scarves and box after box of tiny filly-sized horseshoes, boots and even a pair of crystalline heels that would be too gaudy even on an adult mare. The box I ended up opening contained four fancy white boots with sequins down the sides. I stuffed the jar of nectar into one of the boots, closed the box, and put it back into its place. Not exactly a great hiding spot, but it was the best I could come up with after all I’d been through last night. I’d find a better one when I’d woken up. At least, that’s what I told myself as I climbed into bed, shoving the majority of the stuffed animals onto the floor as I did so. The thought that was running through my mind as I laid my head down was simple. The Pudding family was under threat by an enemy that was bigger, more ruthless, better funded and better positioned than they were. Their only ally was a former stallion now stuck in the body of a little filly. The situation was grim, and they had left us with no choice. We had to take them down. Hard. With that thought nestled comfortably in mind, I laid my head down on my pillow. I was asleep within seconds.