Hands
A My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
By Andrew J. Talon
DISCLAIMER: This is a non-profit fanbased work of prose. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is the property of Hasbro, and the reinvention of the lovely Lauren Faust. No copyright infringement is intended, please support the official release.
Have some shorts!
- - -
A Difference in Cultural Perspective
- - -
With the opening of the human archives, I had found some amazing things I couldn't wait to share with my marefriends and friends in general. And given Twilight's love of magic and reading, I had shared a fantasy series I loved when I was a child with her.
In hindsight, maybe I should have had second thoughts about that...
"Seriously, this is their version of magic?" Twilight asked, shaking her head in disbelief at the human-written fantasy story. "This is absurd! I mean, a single one shot soul separation spell? THAT'S their most deadly curse? I have dozens of spells in my basic books that are far worse than that! And this Ron character, why is he even here? He's not funny or useful, he's just a load! And Hermione is so bossy and manipulative and this Harry guy just gets led around by the hand by old men, he never does anything on his own initiative... And... Wait."
She scowled deeply. "A 'super' wand? Seriously? SERIOUSLY? That is the big secret? Some MacGuffin just introduced in the last book?! It doesn't even serve a central focus, it's just a-a plot coupon!" She huffed and tossed it aside. I looked at her from across the library, a bit hurt. I mean, I had loved these books growing up but to have all the plot holes and problems pointed out... Well...
Ouch.
"Please tell me this is not the most popular fantasy series on your planet?" Twilight pleaded. I sighed.
"It's a best seller and the author is one of the richest people on Earth."
Twilight stared in disbelief. "Is... Is she at least a witch or something-?"
"No," I said. "Remember? No magic."
"Which means... You have no idea how actual magic schools or magic societies function!" Twilight gasped. She beamed. "I know! I'll write this J. K. Rowling and offer her all the suggestions I can on how to write proper magical fiction! And romance for that matter, as well! After all, I have so much experience and-"
"I don't think your Daring Do fanfics count, Twilight," I said dryly. Twilight blushed.
"It... You have to admit, I at least developed things better!"
"Between Daring Do and her worst villain? Seriously?" I asked. Twilight huffed.
"It is perfectly acceptable! There's all sorts of subtext you can see between their relationship that could make for a romantic foundation-"
"Right, which is why so many people ship you and Trixie," I said dryly. Twilight gaped.
"Wha-They-They do?!"
I held up a romance novel Rarity had sent me. On the cover, a purple unicorn and a blue unicorn were locked in a passionate embrace. Twilight's eyes widened as she seized it in her telekinetic grip and flipped through it.
"I... But... But the only pony who could know all this, who would... Would twist it would... Would be...!" She gasped. I helpfully handed her my pistol.
"You might be needing this," I said. Twilight scowled... And summoned my entire arsenal from the basement. With an array of guns, rifles, rocket launchers and swords hung around her like metallic angel wings, she snarled.
"I think I know what I'll be needing," she growled, and she trotted out the door with all her weapons. I stared after her. Spike looked in from the kitchen, trying to look like he hadn't seen the whole thing but a look from me and he dropped the pretense.
"Geez... You really have rubbed off on her," Spike said, shaking his head. I chuckled.
"Nah... The weapons are just for effect. If she really wanted her dead," and here I laid back on the couch, "she wouldn't have taken anything."
"Good point," Spike admitted.
-----