//------------------------------// // Part 19 - Next Steps // Story: Phoenix Wright - Turnabout Storm! // by Firesight //------------------------------// Hay and Stay Hotel 2:05 PM Phoenix stumbled out of the hotel breathing heavily, feeling shaky from the blow to his head and Sonata’s browbeating. “Phew! I was sweating bullets back there. She’s quite intimidating, for a pony,” he said, finding a bench and sitting down, soaking in the deliciously cool breeze washing over his perspiring face and body. Starting to realize that these equines aren’t just cute and cuddly! “Really? I didn’t find her intimidating at all! But I do think she’s too serious, so I tried to make her smile! How do you think I did?” Pinkie asked expectantly, sitting on the ground beside him. Phoenix gave her a wan look. “Uh… don’t quit your day job,” he recommended, studying the old-fashioned aspirin bottle Sonata had given him. Deciding she wasn’t likely to be poisoning him with a painkiller prescription written out to her, he popped a couple of the pills. To his pleasant surprise, they worked almost instantly, his headache disappearing in a matter of seconds, leaving him wondering what was in them… and what side effects they might have; he had a sudden urge to check behind him to see if he’d sprouted a tail. “Okay! Wait—what is my day job, anyway? Throwing parties is more of a hobby,” Pinkie noted, raising a hoof to her chin as if pondering a deep question. “I guess working at Sugar Cube Corner is my day job—I mean, they pay me—but it’s way too much fun to be work!” Phoenix had given up trying to understand her tangents. As the remnants of his headache faded, his irritation with her ebbed as well; he admitted that despite her antics and the close call with Sonata, she’d been a genuine help to him—she’d not only got him lunch and guided him to the hotel room, she’d found at least two potentially major pieces of evidence, even if he didn’t fully understand the significance of them yet. “You know, Pinkie, you still haven’t told me—how did you manage to miss the trial this morning?” he asked her, rubbing his scalp beneath his hair, feeling the lump from where the book had hit him starting to recede as well. He gave the medicine bottle a final glance before placing it in his left pants pocket. Wonder if it’d be okay to take these back home with me? “I was making donuts!” Pinkie replied brightly, without a hint of shame or regret. Phoenix fell silent. “That’s it?” “Yep-yep! Is something wrong with that?” Pinkie asked, hopping up on the bench beside him and giving him a curious look while tilting her head to the side. “No, I guess I was just expecting a better reason than that,” he said truthfully, resting on the bench for a moment before deciding on his next move. To his surprise, she gave him an explanation that made perfect sense. “I know Dashie needed me, but so did the Cakes! Mrs. Cake is pregnant, so she has to take it easy, but with so many racers, fans and construction crews in town for the Equestrian 500, there’s a lot of catering orders to be filled and huge breakfast crowds at Sugar Cube Corner! “With all that additional business, the Cakes are hoping to make enough money to finish their new nursery, so of course I’m going to pitch in and help them in any way I can!” Pinkie proclaimed, with a huge smile to match her outgoing personality. “I mean, they not only give me room and board, but let me bake all the sweets I like for them! So how could I not help out when they need me the most?” Phoenix studied her for a moment, starting to think that perhaps the hyperactive pink pony wasn’t so bad after all. “That says a lot about you, Pinkie Pie. I thought you were a bit annoying at first, but I can see now that you’re not only a good friend but, uh…” He paused, trying to find the right words. “A free spirit! Your heart’s definitely in the right place, though. You remind me a lot of a girl I know,” he told her with an almost wistful grin. “A girl? Who?” Pinkie asked in perfect earnestness. “My assistant,” he answered easily, thinking Pinkie and Maya would get along swimmingly. “Her name's Maya. She’s full of energy and is completely unpredictable, but she’s also unfailingly upbeat and always there with an encouraging word or pick-me-up when you need one most… just like you!” He favored her with a smile. Her cheeks turned a deeper pink. “Awwwww… that is so sweet! Thanks, Feenie!” she said with a fresh smile, surprising him with an affectionate and unmistakably equine nuzzle of his cheek. Said cheek warmed at that. Well, at least one pony in this world likes me! he thought, deciding to reach up and chance a scratch of her ears in return. Her eyes widened and then narrowed in pleasure as she felt his hand find the sensitive flesh at the base of her ears, marveling at what he could do with his fingers. Suddenly disinclined to move, she lay down on the bench beside him and rested her head on his leg, a contented grin on her face. Though a little discomfited by that, Phoenix decided to just go with it—if nothing else, I've finally found a way to keep her quiet for a bit! They stayed like that for several minutes as Phoenix enjoyed the first real moments of relaxation he’d had in Equestria since arriving, idly running his fingers through her incredibly floofy and soft, cotton-like mane—it smelled like cotton candy, but certainly didn’t feel like it!—Pinkie all but melting under his ministrations, humming to herself happily, her blue eyes closed. These ponies may not be animals, but they’ve definitely got the weak spots of one! Phoenix noted, gratified. For her part, Pinkie was in heaven as he expertly worked between her ears, thinking once again that she was going to have to throw him one of her extra-super-duper-special-parties for this! “So… what do you think happened, Pinkie Pie?” Phoenix asked after another minute had passed, looking up at the sky again and noticing a large cloud positioned to the south of the town, seemingly growing by accretion as smaller ones were pushed into it. “Hmm?” Pinkie sleepily tilted her head up at Phoenix. “The murder, I mean—what do you think really happened?” he clarified, trying to see what was pushing the clouds together. Are those pegasi? He squinted at the small multicolored dots he could just see darting around the main cloud periphery. “The murder? Let me think… Oh! Oh! OH! I KNOW!” she blurted out, pulling his attention back down. “You do?” Phoenix was genuinely curious as to what she could come up with. “Maybe… just maybe… Rainbow Dash…” Pinkie paused dramatically, rolling over onto her back but keeping her head propped on Phoenix’s leg. “Yes?” Phoenix held his breath, wondering if he was about to regret asking. “Maybe Rainbow Dash has an evil twin sister nopony knows about! Yeah! So there are two Rainbow Dashes! One good and one evil!” Pinkie proclaimed. Even after all he had seen and heard from her, Phoenix was still struck speechless for a moment. “Double Rainbow Dash?” was all he could say, thinking that he wasn’t certain this world could accommodate two of the cocky pegasus. Or two Pinkie Pies, for that matter! “All the way! That would be so intense!” Pinkie claimed further, splaying her fore and hind legs in excited gestures while still looking up at him from her back. Phoenix sensed there was little point in trying to reason with her, but tried anyway, deliberately looking away as he spoke. “Don’t you think everyone would notice two Rainbow Dashes pretty quick? All those colors would stick out. An evil twin sister nopony knows about doesn’t seem plausible,” he logically analyzed her speculation, though he did find himself amused at a sudden image of an orange-furred version his client with a mobster-like scar on her face. She shook her head, her fluffy mane brushing over his lap, giving him a squint-eyed look. “No, Feenie, I really think I’m onto something here! We have to find that bad Rainbow Dash before she strikes again! Let’s call her… ‘Wob Niar’!” she declared. “’Wob Niar’? But that’s just—” Phoenix gave up at that moment, letting out a sigh. Why am I even arguing about this? he wondered, turning his attention instead to her chin. She fell silent again as her mouth lolled open, all but drooling as he scratched there—she had no idea that could feel so good! As she leaned her head back further to stretch out her neck and chin for his pleasuring fingers, her upward-facing eyes suddenly spotted something approaching. “Hey, Feenie! Look there!” Pinkie pointed with a hoof behind her. “Huh?” Phoenix looked to his left where she was pointing, and his jaw dropped open yet again upon seeing a grey pegasus with a blonde mane flying—yes, flying!—towards them. “Hey! You two! Did you by any chance receive a letter not posted to you?” the newcomer asked, coming to a halt and lighting in front of them, her wings folding to her sides against her saddlebags, which said ‘Ponyville Post Office’. Phoenix was doubly surprised—it was the first time he’d actually seen a pegasus fly, and by her… “Whoa! I-I-I-I—EYES!” he exclaimed, seeing her yellow-orange pupils were pointed in two completely different directions. “Huh?” The pegasus mare started to hover in place with a forehoof touched to her chin, a confused look on her face. “Uh… have you seen an optometrist about that?” he suggested weakly, simultaneously grimacing at her wildly off-center eyes yet unable to look away. “Op-tommy-trist? What’s that?” she asked him earnestly. “Feenie!” Pinkie elbowed him sharply in the stomach with the knee of her foreleg, a warning note in her voice. “OOF! O-oh, I mean eye-I mean… uh… m-me no see letter?” Phoenix finally managed, then kicked himself for assuming her discombobulated gaze meant her mental faculties were slow. Thankfully, she didn’t seem to notice or take offense. “That’s just great.” The pegasus pony sighed in disappointment, taking on a drooping pose as she hovered. “Aw… what’s the matter?” Pinkie sat up and asked in some concern. She rolled her eyes—sort of. “Oh, some airhead gave an important letter to the wrong pony, and now I’m trying to track it down,” the pegasus mare replied, motioning to her mailbags while Phoenix continued gawking at her, unable to look away. “Oh. Well, sorry. I haven’t gotten any letters since I’ve been here,” he offered. I can’t stop looking into those entrancing eyes! Can she see all around her? Maybe she can even see through the very fabric of time and SPACE! he reasoned, unable to discount the possibility given all the other unlikely magic and abilities he’d already seen from this world. “You haven’t? Aw… well, that’s okay.” She went downcast for a moment before turning her attention back to him, lighting on the ground and folding her wings again, seemingly studying him for a moment—it was very hard for Phoenix to tell with her eyes pointing in different directions! “Oh! Hey! I know you!” She pointed at Phoenix Phoenix looked up at that. “You do?” She cut him off before he could finish, rearing up and splaying her wings in excitement. “Sure do! You’re Phoenix Wright, that big loser lawyer from Rainbow Dashie’s trial!” she teased, causing Phoenix’s jaw to drop open again. “I sat in the stands behind you this morning!” Pinkie jumped up and down in excitement on the bench beside him. “Wow! She recognized you! Hey! This means you’re famous, Feenie! I just wish I could have seen you in action! I’ll bet you were something else!” Pinkie said excitedly, pronking once directly on the bench. I think the word you’re looking for is ‘infamous’. Phoenix slumped, relieved Pinkie hadn’t been there or he feared he really wouldn’t have a single friend in Equestria. And yes, I was something else, but for all the wrong reasons! Ignoring his dropped expression, the newcomer didn’t let up. “Remember when Trixie tricked you into giving a new theory about the second lightning bolt? Or how about when you didn’t know pegasi can move clouds? Oh, how I laughed and laughed!” The skew-eyed pegasus mare giggled at the memory. “Except I wasn’t laughing,” Phoenix muttered and cringed, his ears and cheeks burning with remembered embarrassment and humiliation at getting dressed down by The Judge, Twilight, and Trixie in turn. “Look, I admit I was under-prepared. It’s my fault for not studying, but in case you haven’t noticed, I’m not a pony and I’m not from around here. Who are you anyway?” he asked the ditzy-looking pegasus—there really isn’t another way to describe her! he knew, though he would well imagine Maya’s scolding for even thinking the word. “The name’s Derpy Hooves!” she told him, offering him a hoofbump. Phoenix was appalled. That’s kind of a cruel name! he thought even as he returned the gesture. “Well, Der—” “Feenie! No! Stop!” Pinkie cut Phoenix off with a hoof over his mouth before he could say anything else. “Um, give us a second, will you?” she said to Derpy. “Huh? Oh, sure!” Derpy shrugged, sitting back to preen her wings. Phoenix was confused as Pinkie insistently dragged him twenty feet away by his tie, leaving him wondering again how in the name of Equestria she could grip something with her hoof? “What’s wrong, Pinkie?” Phoenix asked, bending down and whispering when she motioned him to. “Listen, Feenie. Whatever you do, don’t say her name!” Pinkie warned him, also in a whisper. Phoenix blinked again. “Huh? Why not?” “Because she’s really, really, really, reaaaaallllly sensitive about it! If you do, you’ll never hear the end of it!” she warned him again. “I think it’s kind of a harsh name, but she seems okay with it. I mean, listen to that upbeat, oblivious voice!” he motioned over to Derpy, who was humming a happy little tune to herself as she finished preening her wings and began sniffing some nearby flowers, though it took her a couple tries to position her nose properly. Pinkie shook her head sharply. “No, no, no, no, no! Just trust me on this one, Feenie. You do not want to repeat her name when she’s around! Or call her by any name, for that matter!” she insisted. Phoenix let out another sigh. He still didn’t understand, but if Pinkie of all ponies was telling him this, he decided there was probably a good reason. “Fine. I don’t see what the big deal is, though,” he whispered back before turning back to the grey pegasus mare. “Okay! We’re done!” Pinkie announced. “Right-O!” Derpy stood back up. “Well, Der—er, I mean… blonde-maned pony! So if you were there, what did you think of the trial?” Phoenix asked, as she resumed her hovering, her powers of flight fascinating him anew. Pinkie facehooved while Derpy gave him an odd look from her hover. “Blonde-maned pony? Didn’t I tell you my name?” she squinted through one eye at Phoenix, looking offended. “Well, I… uh…” he glanced at Pinkie, who gave him another sharp, pleading shake of her head. “Yes?” Derpy awaited his answer. “I… uh,” he swallowed hard as she flew a little closer “Yeeeesssss?” she challenged, now hovering nose-to-nose with him and staring at him over crossed forelegs, starting to look outright angry. Come on, Phoenix! Say something, ANYTHING! “I, uh, really l-like your mane?” was all he could come up with. Her misaligned eyes lit up at the compliment. “Oh really? Wow, thanks! I did it up all nice this morning so I could look my best for the trial!” Derpy tossed her head to flick her mane back and forth, showing off how silky smooth it was. “Yeah, it really looks… good,” Phoenix agreed quickly, noting the relief on Pinkie’s face that it had actually worked. Derpy beamed. “Thanks! I’d say something nice about your mane too, but it looks like you just stood in front of a fan for a really long time!” she teased, causing Pinkie to laugh and Phoenix’s feelings to sink like a rock, not even caring as Pinkie Pie affectionately ran her hoof through his hair as he sat on the bench. “Gee, thanks.” Is this what I get for being nice? I wish I could find just ONE pony who likes my hair! Yeah, fat chance of THAT! he internally groused, suddenly wondering what Derpy’s multi-bubble cutie mark was supposed to mean. “So you were there at the trial?” Pinkie spoke up before Phoenix could grouse out loud. “What did you think of it? What did I miss? How did Feenie do?” she eagerly wanted to know. Derpy grinned as Phoenix cringed. “I was there alright! Now how best to put it? Oh! I know! I’ll tell you in it poem! I’ve been told I’m a really great poet when reciting the mail carrier code!” she claimed. “A poem?” Phoenix was now certain the gods of this new world were having a great deal of fun at his expense. “Oh! Tell us! Tell us!” Pinkie implored. “You got it! Okay, then—presenting my ‘Ode to Objections’!” Derpy flung her mane to the side, cleared her throat and recited a rhyme: “Dashie’s attorney really seemed like a schmuck. If you want my opinion, he really did suck! His Honor, Sir Judgie, was indecisive and fickle. Poor Fluttershy, it seems, is in quite the pickle. Young Apple Bloom heard the first bolt touch ground, So why did the second bolt not make a sound? The prosecution’s put-downs were fun and quite rich. But she was honestly being just a big stuck-up… Witch!” “Bravo! Bravo! Wow! That was really good!” Pinkie praised, rearing up and clopping her hooves together appreciatively. “Thank you! Thank you!” Derpy tossed her head to and fro like she was accepting acclaim from an adoring audience, then bowed low as a passing pony tossed a flower her way. For his part, Phoenix was surprised to find himself genuinely impressed. “Actually, it really wasn’t that bad,” he admitted, finding it a little cutting but an otherwise excellent lyrical summary of the morning’s events. Though I might have chosen a SLIGHTLY different word to describe Trixie there at the end! True, the poem insulted him as well, but he no longer really minded—he did suck during the trial, and there was no denying it, even to a pony like Derpy. Things will be different tomorrow! he promised himself again. And as good a job as she just did, if I win, maybe I’ll ask her to make up a second poem! “Told you I was good! Well, I better be off now. I’ll be in deep doo-doo if I don’t find that letter!” the skew-eyed mail mare told them both, flaring her wings and preparing to leave. “Oh! And by the way, I should warn you two—there’s a nasty unicorn calling ponies terrible names out and about,” Derpy announced ominously, sitting back on her haunches with a distressed look like she’d already been on the receiving end of the name-calling. “How could anypony be so mean?” “I’m sorry.” I have a feeling that’s our friendly prosecutor, he guessed, not sure what he would do if he encountered Trixie outside the courtroom—or worse, what she might do to him without Twilight’s protection. “I got called enough names this morning to know what it’s like.” Derpy looked up at him, and then nodded in something approaching sympathy. “Yeah, I guess you would. Just thought I’d warn you. Oh, and uh… one other thing?” “Yes?” Phoenix asked. Derpy grinned and pointed at his right shoulder. “You should really get that rip in your suit fixed before tomorrow! See ya!” she said as she took flight, fluttering off to the next set of ponies in the distance while a freshly self-conscious Phoenix flushed and clamped his right arm down hard against his side. “Bye!” A still-giggling Pinkie said to Derpy, waving a hoof as the odd pegasus mare passed out of sight, hopping back up on the bench. “So, did you get what you wanted from that hotel, Feenie?” “Yeah, these should come in quite handy tomorrow,” Phoenix replied, finally giving up on hiding the tear as he reviewed the top half of the resignation letter and list of names that Pinkie had found, wondering how he could confirm his suspicions about the former and if the latter was somehow related. “I still wonder why Sonata didn’t have us arrested though. She could have, no question,” he pondered, scratching his chin again. “Maybe she likes you!” Pinkie suggested. Phoenix would have been more annoyed if he still wasn’t feeling so mellow. “Seriously?” “Well, sure! You’re so funny and so much fun to hang around with, how could anypony not like you, Feenie?” she asked him in complete earnestness. Me? FUN? He wished Maya could hear that. “I appreciate you saying so, but I kind of doubt that, Pinkie. She was just about shooting daggers at me with her eyes.” Phoenix remembered, suppressing another shiver despite his relaxed mood. Pinkie’s eyes widened. “Oooo… I must have been looking the other way when that happened! That must have been so cool! I wish I could shoot daggers from my eyes!” she said with a wistful grin. To his surprise, Phoenix found himself more amused than annoyed by Pinkie’s antics now. I’ll be damned. Rainbow was right—I think she’s starting to grow on me! “It’s a metaphor, Pinkie. But it sort of does look that way. Just look at my suit!” Phoenix checked the rip on his underarm, one even Derpy had noticed. “You’re still upset about that?” Pinkie asked. “Of course I am! This is the only suit I have with me! Appearances matter, Pinkie! I can’t walk into court with a ripped suit; I’ll look so unprofessional,” Phoenix explained mournfully. “You could just go naked like me?” Pinkie suggested. “GAAHH!!! ARE YOU CRAZY!? I’m not gonna show up in court NAKED!” he yelled at Pinkie through bright red cheeks, suddenly reliving a recurring nightmare where he’d done just that, as well as another variation where he made an objection only to realize he’d forgotten his pants as the entire gallery laughed, The Judge penalized him for wearing Steel Samurai boxers, and Franziska von Karma leaned over her rail to waggle her finger at him, mocking his faulty memory as well as his poor taste in television. “Why not? Everypony else does it!” Pinkie noted. “I mean, why do you wear clothes everywhere, Feenie? Most ponies only do so for special occasions!” She gave him a look that suggested to him she was trying to figure out what he looked like undressed. Phoenix flushed anew under her scrutiny. “Well, for starters, I’m not a pony, and it’s… uh…” Phoenix had no idea how to explain human nudity taboos, but fortunately, he didn’t have to as Pinkie had another idea. “Oh! Hey! If you really want that tear fixed, Feenie, I have a friend who can do it for you in a jiffy!” she remembered. “Well, it’s better than going to court in my birthday suit,” he muttered, still feeling a little freaked over the suggestion. “Okay, then—who can fix this for me?” “Rarity can!” Pinkie replied immediately. “She’s the best seamstress in Ponyville!” “’Rarity’?” he repeated, trying to picture the pony that would possess such a name and wondering why ponies even had need for a seamstress if they truly did go naked everywhere. But they wear clothes on ‘special occasions’? Like what? he wondered idly. “I guess we can make a detour to get this repaired. I just about feel naked with this hole in my armpit,” Phoenix admitted, raising his arms and inspecting the tear again. “Let’s go, then! Carousel Boutique is just over yonder, Feenie! BEEP-BEEP!!!” Before Phoenix could stop her, Pinkie raced off down the street like the Road Runner would out of the old cartoons he had watched as a kid, leaving a cloud of dust in her wake. “H-hey! Stop running ahead of me like that!” he called after the deceptively fast earth pony, just hoping that this ‘Rarity’ she knew really could get his suit patched up before the trial resumed the next day.