The Daily Show presents: Equestrian Interviews

by Daily Show Ponies


Episode 14 [Queen Chrysalis]: Here it is your moment of zen

Beep, beep, beep.

This was the sound that got Jon to awake from his deep sleep; it stayed in constant rhythm and sounded mechanical in nature.

Beep, beep, beep.

After regaining consciousness, his eyes dilated and adjusted to a bright light that was hanging overhead. Even before he was able to see properly, he already knew where he was just by using his nose. It would seem that, even in faraway land in an entirely different world, it was easy to identify the smell of medical supplies.

Cotton balls, sanitizer, elastic gloves, fresh linens. Jon could tell that he was in a hospital, or at least in another similar institute, just by the scent of these alone. In addition, he also heard a conversation that was going on just a few feet away.

"...but will he be alright?" A tender voice, that Jon recognized, said. He shifted his head to the side to try and see who was talking, but a thin curtain separated him from the two subjects.

"Indeed your Majesty, he should be fine." Another voiced answered. She, obviously, being some kind of physician. "We had some complications at first, but it was nothing good ol' fashioned Unicorn magic couldn't fix. Still, he has been through a lot today, so I suggest he stay in a few more days for further analysis…just to be safe."

The person talking was right. Despite the entire ordeal Jon was now completely healed. Granted, he felt sore all over, but he now could move freely without resistance and it no longer felt as if his chest had caved in. To further test his new durability, Jon looked under the covers at where he had been stabbed by Chrysalis. Not only was the wound gone, but there was no longer any sign of it ever being there. Not even a scar.

Knowing that he was okay made Jon lean back in his bed. The room he currently occupied was somewhat cramped with only a few pictures on the wall and a TV in the corner of the ceiling as entertainment. The walls were light blue with black and white tiles on the floor. Jon would have gotten up but he was in no condition, or mood, to do anything else but continue eavesdropping on the conversation that was still going on from behind the curtain.

"And what of the other one?" The calm voiced asked.

"I won't lie to you princess...you're Unicorn friend isn't doing very well." The Doctor said. "It was touch and go for a second and I'm still not sure if she'll make it. We tried everything but she didn't respond to any of our best treatments...We are unsure if she'll ever get up...for now all we can do is make her as comfortable as possible."

"Very well then...but tell me...is Jon conscious?” Celestia asked. "I would like very much to speak with him."

"Last I checked he was still asleep and I would like to keep it that way." The doctor said in a stern voice. "Right now the best thing for him is to get plenty of rest...I'm afraid I must insist that you wait to talk to him at a later time."

"I understand." Celestia sighed. "Please let me know when he wakes up."

"Of course, princess. I'll make sure to bring you hourly reports on both of their statuses and alert you the second it's alright for him to be questioned." The doctor assured her. "Now, unless there's anything else you need, I must ask that we go now. I have other patients to attend to."

"I see...carry on then," Celestia responded. "If you need to get a hold of me I'll be in the town square."

The two left the room and turned off the lights on the way out. They could be heard talking down the hallway, but their voices were muffled by the sound of armor-clad guards following them. Unbeknownst to Jon she was on her way to address her people on the situation at hand and tell them that everyone was, for the most part, alright and that the state was safe from any forms of evil.

Jon would have called out to her before she left or even during her exchange with the other pony but he was too fixated on something the doctor said.

"Not sure if she'll make it."

This made Jon tremble in his bed while his stomach felt as if someone had reached in and turned it inside out. He also recalled her saying something along the lines of keeping her comfortable which was doctor speak for "She's going to die."

Again he heard the noise.

Beep, beep, beep.

This time he could hear exactly where it was coming from. He listened and could tell that it was coming from his right. With a heavy heart he slowly turned his sore body onto its back to face the ceiling. He didn't know what to expect but he knew it wasn't good. Slowly he turned his head to his right and when he did he immediately regretted it.

"Oh god." Jon said with disgust. He was now looking at a broken Trixie lying in a hospital bed. She was bandaged up to the point where it was almost impossible to recognize her were it not for her visible face. She was hooked up to at least three different machines, each of which were doing a specific action to keep her alive to a chorus of winding gears and beeping sounds.

She had tubes running up her nose and a plastic tube attached to her arms which hung to the side. She looked more artificial than an actual pony.

"Trixie...no." Jon groaned, his voice never getting too loud.

But she didn't answer back. Instead her machines did all the talking.

Beep, beep, beep.

"Trixie?" Jon called out again. "Can you hear me?" When she didn't answer again Jon tried to reach out to her but he was too far away. With all of his strength Jon hoisted himself up to sitting position and again tried to reach over. He walked his fingers over the nightstand that separated the two of them and got close, but he was still too far.

By accident, he knocked over the remote control to the television onto the floor. It landed face down and as a result turned the TV on. When he tried to bend over and pick it up, he got light headed and defeated, so he flung himself back on his bed as the humming of the medical machines and the now operational TV filled the air.

Whenever he tried to glance back in her direction, his body recoiled and he forced himself to look away. Jon hated to see her like this...especially since he blamed himself for her getting hurt.

"Trixie." Jon said as he held back waves of bile. "Trixie, this is all my fault...please forgive me."

It was now clear to him that she was in no position to say anything which made a guilt ridden Jon throw his head back onto his pillow. How he wished things could be different. He began to wonder what might have happened if he and Trixie never met...maybe she'd be safe right now or maybe Jon would be the one in her condition. Either way, he just wished that none of this had ever happened.

As his mind wandered, he began to think of more "What ifs" when, at that very moment, his train of thought was shattered by a familiar voice breaking the silence.

"...there is nothing the Great and Powerful Trixie cannot do."

As if there were spring loaded hinges in his body, Jon shot up back to a sitting position so fast he experienced another head rush.

"Trixie!?" He exclaimed. To his dismay, Trixie was still unresponsive, but unlike before, the room was no longer silent. She wasn't talking, but he could clearly hear her voice...and most perplexingly of all, his own as well. His eyes followed the source of the noise to the TV which he had unintentionally turned on.

It was set to Comedy Central, most likely at the behest of the previous patient in this room, and was in the middle of Jon's own show which had gone on without him. Something which he found understandable since the "show must go on" mentality was strong with his staff and crew. Though nothing could have prepared him for what on screen

"No, you can't."

"Yes I can! Why I could even do a better job of hosting this show than you."

"Oh, you think ya bettah than me!? You think you’re that good?"

"Oh please, Stewart, your so called comedy is no difficult feat. Anypony could do it; observe."

At first Jon couldn't understand how he could be on TV right now interviewing Trixie when both of them were here in this room. But then it all came back to him soon enough and he remembered how he came about meeting Trixie in the first place.

A few months ago, she had forced herself into Jon's home and demanded that he have her on his show as his next guest. Jon's detest for her at the time resulted in her being tricked into being interviewed off camera as a backup interview in case they ever needed to fall back on something as an emergency

Later when it was revealed that Trixie's coming to the human world was illegal, and that she couldn't get back home, Jon agreed to not show her segment to the public for fear that she might get in trouble with Celestia. And that was the beginning of Trixie living with him and his family. However, all that changed since it would seem that, in his absence, the Daily Show operators used the interview for its intended purpose.

With Jon unavailable and an entire rest of the show left, the Daily Show was now officially airing the interview between Jon Stewart and Trixie for the entire world to see.

Jon found little comfort in this so he once again threw himself back this time slamming his hands across his face. Hearing her voice, but not actually being able to communicate with her was frustrating so he made plans in his head to turn the TV off and maybe try and call Celestia to get up to speed.

His plans changed the moment a voice called out.

"How do I look?" A voice asked. Jon once again found himself startled. He was trying not to get too excited like before, so he shifted to his side and looked over at Trixie who was still lying down in her bed. He waited to see if his suspicions were true and, after a few seconds had passed, he got his conformation. "On the TV...how do I look?"

When her mouth moved, he almost jumped up from his bed, but his sore body begged him to stay put. Trying his best to relax, he took a deep breathe of relief. Just knowing that she was still alive made him feel like he could finally smile again.

"You look great." Jon answered with a weak smile and an even weaker tone of voice. "The guys in the back really did a good job on your hair." There was a pause before someone starting talking again.

"I'm guessing the princess knows about...well you know." She said.

"Yeah. I would imagine." He answered, "Though I don't think you'll get in any trouble at this point."

"What the Great and Pow....what I mean is my parents left me at an orphanage when I was but a mere filly. According to those who worked there I looked to be only a year old."

"I'm...so sorry to hear."

"It wasn't all bad. It was because of dear old mommy and daddy leaving me there that I discovered my special talent."

"Your special talent?"

"Yes, as you can see by my cutie mark Trixie was born to be a magician."

A special kind silence fell over the room at the two watched themselves talk to each other on Television while making small talk with each other. It was a surreal moment that Jon had no choice but to break.

"Trixie...why the hell are you here?" Jon said.

"What kind of question is that?" She asked. "I'm hurt...last I checked injured ponies go to the hospital."

"You know what I mean." He added. "Only Chrysalis was supposed to get teleported...you coming with her wasn't part of the plan."

"I know." She said.

"So then what are you doing here...in Equestria?" Jon reiterated.

"Hey, glass houses." She said with a laugh, “I could ask you the same thing.” Jon found little humor in any of this but nevertheless she had a point.

"I'm here because I was in range of the spell." He answered. "Stephen was in trouble and well...I was just trying to help a friend."

"What a coincidence." Trixie chimed. "That's exactly why I'm here too."

Looking over Jon could now see that she was smiling as if she knew something that he didn't.

"I don't...I don't understand." Jon said. Before explaining herself Trixie took a long deep breath like she was getting ready to dive underwater.

"Ok...remember the spell I said I could do?" She asked. "Well as it turns out, like always, I messed it up."

"W-what do you mean?" He said.

"Setting up the spell was easier than I thought. The hardest part proved to be actually stabilizing enough magic to get it to work." She explained. "I thought I had focused enough magic to get the job done but...but I was short something like…less than ten percent of what was needed."

"So what...what did you do?" Jon asked.

"What else could I do?" She retorted. "I didn't have enough time to try and stabilize more magic to I just fed the circle a constant stream of magic directly from my horn." Even with his only amateur understanding of magic, Jon knew what that meant.

"And since you were in direct contact with the spell." Jon surmised. "That means you--"

"That means when the spell activated, anypony in or touching the spell was affected by it...including me" She interrupted. "When the Great...and Powerful Trixie says she'll do a spell she means it."

"Trixie...for god sake!" Jon said. "You...I mean you could have...just look at you!"

"Oh this...I'm ok." She said in a forced, dismissive tone. Her voice weak like Jon's. "I've experienced worse when rough housing with your kids."

"Dammit Trixie, this is serious." Jon said. "You didn't have to...Trixie, that attack wasn't meant for you...it was meant for me...I should be the one over there not you."

The forced smile that she tried to maintain faded as things began to turn to a more serious tone.

"I know." She said.

"So why'd you do it?" Jon asked trying to not sound angry. "For the love of god you...Trixie, you could've been killed."

Against her best efforts Trixie began to cry. She hated crying ever since she was a little kid. When she lived at the orphanage, she learned to not show such emotions since it was largely pointless. With so many orphans and not enough workers, she had to just wait her turn for attention rather than crying for it.

It was during her earlier years that she learned to only rely on herself instead of others, but for Jon it was different. The attention she never received from her parents had long been something she craved for. As a performer, even the most sold out theater filled with ponies applauding her magical talents paled in comparison to the love and acceptance she received from Jon, which is why she was willing to risk anything, even her own life for him.

"...I...I just didn't want to see you get hurt." She finally answered as she struggled to hold back the tears that were already streaming down her face, "You would’ve done the same for me."

She was right and Jon knew she was. Jon waited for Trixie to stop crying before trying to talk to her again. Her wails of sadness were barely audible since the machines in the room were louder than she was and her voice was weak from having been through the worst ordeal of her life.

"Trixie." Jon said.

"Jon…I'm...I'm sorry if I was ever mean to you." She said.

"No Trixie, it's okay." Jon said as tears began to blur his vision. "It never bothered me."

"I just want you to know that in case I don't--" She said before getting cut off.

"Don't...don't talk like that!" Jon interrupted in a desperate tone, "It's fine, it's fine, you're going to be fine...afterwards when you're all healed up, I'm taking you back home and everything is going back to the way they were!"

At this point Jon would have said anything, regardless of conflicting factors to comfort Trixie. She hadn't moved a single inch of her body since she was in constant pain and could hardly breathe on her own, let alone move. Yet, for this next question, she slowly turned her head to face Jon and look at him eye to eye.

"Did we do it?" She asked. "Did we win?"

Looking away for just a moment Jon glanced back at the TV which was just finishing up the last minute of their interview.

"Listen we’re out of time but would you mind staying for about five minutes and we'll throw the rest up on the web?"

"You...you want me to stay...I mean the Great and Powerful Trixie could spare a minute or two. It would be a crime to deprive the masses of more Trixie."

"Thanks again for being here tonight. The Great and Powerful Trixie everyone! We'll be right back!"

"Yeah...we won, Trixie." He said as he leaned over his bed and tapped his closed fist against her open hoof. "We won."