//------------------------------// // Episode 14 [Queen Chrysalis]: Silver lining // Story: The Daily Show presents: Equestrian Interviews // by Daily Show Ponies //------------------------------// Jon always heard horror stories about families with an overabundance of women and the hardships that came with having a ratio that favored mothers and daughters. His friends would tell him tales about being outnumbered in arguments or medicine cabinets becoming riddled with hygiene products but throughout his life, Jon himself never had this problem. Growing up, the only woman in his life for the longest time was his own mother. She herself was outnumbered by a husband and two sons. Even now with the introduction of Trixie, Jon rarely found a problem with there being a three-to-two handicap while at home...that is, until now. "TRIXIE!" Jon called out as she banged on the door. "Hurry it up would ya!" "I said five more minutes!" she yelled back. "You said that ten minutes ago!" he protested. Trixie had long since finished taking her shower and was now busy grooming herself in front of the mirror. The shower itself took longer than expected, and with her busily maintaining her hair, she had clocked in at almost thirty minutes in the bathroom. This was an entirely new experience for him, since the only person, aside from himself, who hogged the bathroom was his wife, but she always got up before he did so there was never a problem. "Maybe you can live with walking about with that nest you call a head of hair but as for somepony like me, hair so fine, real diligence is needed," Trixie responded. Even though he was up and ahead of schedule, he still wanted to get to work as soon as possible. Since todays episode was a taping and not a live broadcast, he wanted to make sure things were going smoothly. Sitting back down Jon wondered if it was a good idea to not have someone from Equestria on the show today. It was a decision he made solely because lately he felt sick and he wanted to be at his best for such an occasion. Thinking about work this early didn't sit well with Jon, so to distract himself, he banged on the door again. "Trixie!" he yelled. "Come on, other people need to use the bathroom!" When Jon got no response, he set a steady pound on the door until Trixie finally called back. "Alright, alright I'm coming out!" she yelled. "Geez. Hold your horses." The door clicked, signaling that it was unlocked, which prompted Jon to reach out from where he was sitting, but before he could, it swung open, releasing a cloud of mist like he had just opened the door to a sauna. "Ugh." Jon groaned. "Well it's about ti—" Emerging from the thick haze was Trixie, who to Jon's surprise, was still wearing a towel on her head, but her tail was freely swaying as she walked. It was more or less at this point that he realized that for all her time after her shower, she had been busy brushing her tail and hadn't even moved on to her mane. Jon would have gone on a rant about that but he was too busy gawking at what she was wearing. It was a bathrobe which, in itself, wasn't too strange a concept since she had used the shower not too long ago. But what really got Jon befuddled was that it was just her size, as if it was tailored for her. The sleeves fit comfortable around her front legs and the end stopped just short of her cutie mark. It was a standard white garment complete with the initials "GPT" embroidered on the chest, along with what looked like a small badge just on top of it, depicting her cutie mark. "Wha...I mean w-where did...that is..." Jon fumbled with his words as he made pointed gestures to her attire. "Christmas present," Trixie answered. "Tracey made it for me." "Oh...I see," Jon said. He knew his wife was good at sewing, but he had no idea she was this good. Jon continued to stare at her garments, while at the same time looking at her cutie mark to see if it matched up with the badge on the front, and indeed he did. After a while, Trixie started to feel uncomfortable from the attention. "Stop looking at me!" she demanded as she whipped her tail across Jon's face. She then walked off to her room, talking to herself just loud enough so Jon could hear. "Honestly, Stewart. Staring at a young lady in her bathrobe after coming out of the shower, how barbaric! I realize I am the ultimate specimen of mare but you could at least try and..." Her words became less and less audible the further she moved down the hallway, giving Jon ample time to enter the bathroom. Without pause for thought, he walked pass the combs and brushes that littered the sink and entered the shower, which was just as cluttered. Jon paid it no mind and instead undressed and entered the tub to begin the shower he so desperately wanted. He turned the correct nozzles in his preferred direction and eagerly embraced the stream of water in his face...only to realize that it was icy cold because Trixie had taken the last of the hot water. “SON OF A BITCH!” Jon shrieked as he frantically calibrated the nozzles. While this was happening, Trixie was in her room putting the final touches on her mane. Her room now had its own mirror and there was even talk about setting up a television for her. From where she stood, she could clearly see all of her bedroom through the mirror, and she reflected on how different it was since she first arrived. This came mostly in the form of pictures on the walls, a desk for her to work at, and more furniture. This was done mainly to help her feel more at home, which was somewhat unnecessary since she’d been feeling that way for a while now. The middle of her room was completely empty. This was done so she could “practice” her magic, which she did almost every day, which tired her out immensely. Once she was satisfied with how her mane looked, she exited her room and made her way to the living room. It got louder the more she descended. This was mostly because of the kids who were busily playing video games since they had already finished eating. They occupied the living room, and on the opposite end of the room, Tracey was in the kitchen preparing hers and Jon's meal. Trixie was about to walk over to her when a voice calling out grabbed her attention. "Great and Powerful Trixie!" Nathan called out. "Come play with us!" "Yeah!" Maggie yelled. "Look, look, look! You can have three players." Tilting her head to the side, Trixie caught a glimpse of what they were playing. To her, it was an incomprehensible mess of flashy lights and sounds on the television which depicted a pair of miniature humans walking across screen, occasionally ducking and dodging their way through obstacles and various creatures. She saw absolutely no appeal in it. Getting up from her seat, Maggie paused her game and rushed over to Trixie with the intent on swooping her away to play them. Before she could even get a third of way to her, Trixie used her magic to lift her in the air and place her down next her brother who was giggling along with her sister at the spectacle. "Wow there, sweetheart,” she said in soft tone. “Just give me a moment get ready." "But you will play with us right!" Nathan asked. "Uh, sure but give me a minute first," Trixie said "I need to eat and have a talk with your mother." "What about?" a very pesky Maggie asked. "It's about your father," Trixie answered. "Is Daddy in trouble?" Nathan asked. In response to this, Trixie walked up to both kids and took turns ruffling each of their heads in a playful manner. "Yes he is," Trixie said in a joking tone. "And when he comes down here I'm going to beat him up...would you like to see that?" "Yeah!" Both kids answered with hearty laughs. "Alright, you kids continue playing...whatever this is, and I'll be back soon," Trixie said before walking off to the dining table where Tracey had already sat down to eat. "So," Tracey said as she swallowed a helping of food. "What's this I hear about you beating up my husband?" "Actually, I'm here to tell you that Stewart is sick," Trixie said as she poured herself a glass of water. "We uh...crossed paths upstairs and he didn't look so well...you might want to consider giving him some medicine." "Hm! Thanks for the tip," Tracey said with a mouth partially filled with masticated food. "It is getting to that time of year." Getting up from her seat, she quickly but steadily made her way to an adjacent cabinet filled with medicine and first aid. She picked up a bottle of something and came back to find that Trixie had already started on her breakfast. "Thanks for the tip," Tracey said. "Jon’s too prideful to admit when he's gotten ill so he never tells me." She watched Trixie consume a mouthful of food and waited until the mare swallowed before continuing their conversation. "You know, dear, if you were so worried about Jon's health you could have given him the medicine yourself," Tracey said with a smile. Trixie looked up from her plate at Tracey before arrogantly rolling her eyes. "Not you too...Okay, first of all I am not worried about Stewart's wellbeing," she said before taking a sip of her water and throwing her nose in the air. "I am simply telling you know this so he doesn't spread his sickness to the rest of us." Using her magic, she levitated a piece of her food into her mouth. "And as for why I didn't give it to him myself, well...he's a big boy. If he needs medicine he can get it himself." She continued. "I'm just telling you as a courtesy." After she was done explaining herself, Trixie went back to eating while Tracey gave a tired sigh and, with a playful smile, shook her head at the pony across the table. "Trixie, honey...I love you, but sometimes you're as transparent as that glass of water," she said, motioning to Trixie’s drink. "You don't have to distance yourself like this...trust me when I say you're safe here." "Hmph. I have no idea what you're talking about," Trixie said, scrunching her nose in protest. In response to this, Tracey reached over and put a gentle hand on her free hoof. "What I'm talking about is...it's okay to let your guard down every now and again." Tracey continued. "I understand what you've gone through...I remember the day Jon brought you home; he told me about your past." As if she didn't want to answer, Trixie took an extra second to finish the food in her mouth, taking slow bites and finally swallowing. "Then you know where I'm coming from," Trixie said. "Things don't change...people don't change." "Nonsense. Of course they do," Tracey assured her, now using her hand to gently rub Trixie’s hoof. "What happened to you before...that will not happen here." Trixie was skeptical and wanted to reject the notion. She felt that she was wrong, but a part of her actually believed her. "Trixie...we all love you here...especially Jon." She continued, her voice soft and caring. "If he had his way, he'd keep you around for as long as he could." Taking her hoof back, Trixie looked away. "You don't know that." She argued. "Oh but I do. He thinks the world of you...as do the rest of us," Tracey said in an almost desperate tone. "He thinks of you not as a friend...but like one of his own children." The thought was nice enough for Trixie to not say anything, but instead think it over in her head. "You may not believe it right now, but someday you will," Tracey said as she took a bite of her meal. "You know...if he had to...he'd risk his life for you." . Upon hearing this, Trixie took another sip of her water, purposefully taking longer than normal for a drink. Eventually, she finished it off and took a deep breath. "I'll get you another glass," Tracey said with a smile as she took the Unicorn's glass and went to the kitchen. When she returned, they continued their breakfast and talked no more about it. For the next few minutes the two sat in silence, enjoying their meals. This was done solely on the part of Tracey to give her friend some time to think. It wasn't an awkward silence, or even a peaceful one, what with the children occasionally squealing at the television, which was playing chipper music. The two just ate with Trixie occasionally looking up at Tracey, who in return, would give her a warm smile. After a while, someone did eventually speak; it was Tracey, but it wasn't to engage Trixie in another conversation, but rather to just throw a question out into the void. "Where is that husband of mine?" she asked. "He's been upstairs for quite a while not." Almost as if that was her signal, Trixie's right ear twitched a few times. "He's actually on his way down now," Trixie said. "He is?" Tracey asked. "How can you tell?" "I can hear him," Trixie answered. Putting her utensils down, she looked over her shoulder at the stairs, then went back to eating. "He's coming down the stairs now." Tilting her head to the side, Tracey looked over at the stairs, but she couldn't hear anything but her kids in the background. "I don't hear anything?" she said "Are you sure it's—" "GAAAAAAAAAH!" a voice screamed from the staircase. "I'm sure," Trixie said with a smirk. "Grah!" the voice continued. "Son of a...POOP!" Tracey got up and rounded the table just in time to see what had happened. She caught Jon hopping up on one leg, digging a piece of plastic out of his foot. She cringed at the sight of it for she, as does any parent, knew the intense amount of pain that came with what Jon had just experienced. He had stepped barefoot on a Lego piece. He was wearing a simple grey T-shirt and a pair of jeans since he didn't need to wear a suit until he got on camera. About the only thing he wasn't wearing were shoes. "You ok, sweetie?" Tracey asked. "Yeah...I'll be fine," Jon said from the bottom the stairs. He had sat down and was now rubbing his throbbing foot, cursing the day he ever bought his son that Lego set. He turned his head to face his two children, who were still playing their game. "Nate what have I told you about putting your toys away?" "Sorry, Daddy," Nathan said, his eyes still fixated on the screen. Getting up, Jon limped his way to the table where he sat down next to Trixie who had not yet finished her food. He recalled what she had told him about what his breakfast would be, so while Tracey had her back turned, he leaned back and reached over behind Trixie. He tapped her on shoulder, causing her to look bewilderingly to her side, where she saw nothing. While she was distracted he reached over and tried to grab one of her helpings of ham. But just before he could a hand swooped in gave him a slap on the wrist. "Oh no you don't!" Tracey said. "This is your breakfast!" With her other hand she quickly slid a plate in front of him which contained a handful of granola and an apple. With a sigh, Jon looked at his plate, then back at Trixie, who had now scooted slightly to the side and pushed her plate further from his grasp. "Can I have cereal instead?" Jon asked with a comically begging face. Tracey looked at the cereal selection; none of them carried the heart healthy logo. "I don't think so," she huffed. "Oh come on, Tracey!" Jon begged. She gave him a stone cold look, which meant that she wasn't going to budge. Once Jon ran out of options, he lightly lifted his leg. "My foot hurts." To really sell it, Jon gave a pouting face which only worked on Tracey one out of ten times...he got lucky. "Alright, alright. Go ahead," she said with a dismissive gesture. Like a child being told they could open a present early, Jon got up and carefully inspected each cereal box on display nearby to see which one he wanted most. Eventually, he chose the one he assumed to have the most sugar. He sat back down, this time on the other end of Trixie, and poured a large helping of his desired brand into a bowl, whereupon he got back up again to go grab the last carton of milk from the fridge. When he sat back down, he eagerly opened the mouth and tiled the container over his crunchy treat...only to realize there was barely any milk left. "Dammit," he said under his breath. Before he could do anything else, Tracey quickly grabbed his bowl of dry cereal and replaced it with the plate of the granola and apple. "Okay, now can I have some ham and waffles?" Jon asked sheepishly. "It's either this or oatmeal," Tracey answered. "Uh never mind!” he said in a panic. "I'll eat it!" "This too," she added, putting two medical pills in front of him, but not before giving him a peck on the head. Before finally getting around to eating his breakfast Jon looked over to his side where Trixie was about halfway through with her last waffle. Again, she scooted away from him, only this time she wasted no time in devouring the rest of it. With a sigh, Jon scooped a handful of his granola into him mouth, slowly chewing to make sure he ground them all up good and proper. While this happened, Trixie and Tracey were off to the side doing the dishes, and since Trixie was considerably shorter she used her magic to dry off dishes and place them in there correct place. Halfway during this session, the phone rang, and Tracey left the rest of the detailing in the hoofs of Trixie. When she answered the phone a loud and somewhat frantic voiced boomed forth. Through the back and forth between it and Tracey, the person on the other end did most of the talking, while Tracey said nothing more than "okay" or "I see." She hung up the phone and dashed across the room to grab her purse and keys. "Who died?" Jon asked. "Oh no, that was just my boss," she said. "There was an emergency at work and they're calling me in today...Trixie?" "I'm on it," Trixie said as she walked over to tell the kids what was happening. This was one case where having Trixie in the family was a huge benefit. On rare occasions where Tracey or Jon would get called to work early, or on a day they were not scheduled, they would usually end up arguing on who would watch the kids. Thanks to the blue unicorn’s presence, that whole uncomfortable dispute was now avoided. "Okay, I'll probably be back around five so don't worry about dinner," Tracey called out as she made her way to the door. "Trixie, you're in charge while Jon and I are out...and don't let Jon eat any greasy food...also don't believe him if he says it's for some kind of skit for the show, ‘cause that's a lie." Before leaving, she shot Jon a look to behave. "Alright, alright I get it...knock em out, babe," Jon said. "Bye bye, kids!" she said to her children, who were still playing their game. And with that, Tracey flew out the front door and into her vehicle. Jon waited until he heard the car leave the driveway before getting up and making his way towards the window. Once he was sure she was gone, he ran back to the kitchen and yanked open an overhead cabinet, grabbing a large bag of potato chips that he had stashed in the back. "Heh, heh, heh," he said gleefully. "Still here!" Grabbing the top of the precious bag, he made plans to open it and maybe enjoy it with some garlic dipping sauce, but before he could even sit back down, it flew from his hands and across the room like a bird freed from a cage. It eventually stopped, but was remained hovering in the air just above Trixie, who was shaking her head. "Uh, uh, uh, Stewart," she said with judging eyes. Before Jon could protest, her horn's magic changed in pulse, causing the salty snack to seemingly vanish into thin air. "Tracey's orders. No fat foods." To show he was no match, he threw his hands in the air like he was getting arrested. "Okay, Johnny law I'm sorry," he said. Feeling that his day wasn't going to get any better from there, he slowly walked backwards to where his shoes were. "I think this is my cue." Putting his shoes on, Jon made his way to the door. "Okay kids, I'm going to work," he shouted. "While I'm away, be sure to be nice to Trixie and do whatever she says, okay?" Like with their mother, the two children didn't say anything. The only sound coming from that area was the television. "Damn thing’s going to replace me someday," he said. As Jon closed the door behind him, both Nathan and Maggie paused their game to address their now-babysitter. "Now will you play with us!?" Nathan asked while his sister grabbed another controller. "Just give me one more minute," Trixie answered. "I need to finish those dishes." She walked away to a chorus of groans from the two children and back to the sink. She was just about finished when her ear began to flap and tilt to one side. She heard someone coming up to the door at a quick pace. Before she could check to see who it was, the door flung open and someone walked in without a word. "Hi daddy!" Maggie said from the other side of the room. Trixie watched as Jon walked passed her to the kitchen phone and yanked it off the wall. "Back already, Stewart," Trixie asked. "Car's down," he said. "It has a flat and I'm all out of spars...calling Tracey to see if she can't swing by and drop me off." He stood there tapping his foot against the ground for a few seconds, but to his dismay she never picked up. He tried again, but like before, it eventually went to voicemail. "Great...just great. Now I have to call a cab," Jon said with a groan. "Ugh! I hate calling a cab at this hour." Rather than dialing the number right away Jon sat down in a nearby chair and rubbed his hands against his tired face, leaving them there as he took a moment to keep himself calm. Since this didn't involve Trixie all that much, she hopped down from the stool she used as a boost to do the dishes and trotted over to the kids, who were still waiting for her. Before actually making it to the other side of the room, she stopped and made a face like somehow this was all her fault. She turned around to see Jon, still in the same, slumped over position as when she left him. Although she didn't like to show or admit it, she didn't like to see him this way; she liked him better when he was spirited and lively. When he was like this, it just made her sad. Had she'd been anyone else she would've offered him a ride, but lacking any means of doing so, she decided to help the only way she knew how. "Stewart?" Trixie said. "A word please." "Not now Trix; I'm not in the mood," he said. "Would you just listen?!" she barked. Following her command, Jon looked up at Trixie, who looked like she was a kid who had forgotten her lines they had been about to perform on stage. "Look...I...I want to help you," she said, scared that her proposal would get rejected. "If you'll allow me I can...uh...I can just...teleport you to work." Upon Hearing this, Jon's eyes were now locked on her, but visually he didn't look convinced. "Really? Are you sure...you can even do that right now?" he asked "Well of course I can!" she yelled before clearing her throat. "I am...the Great and Powerful Trixie!" After her usual declaration, she noticed that Jon still had an unconvinced look on his face, like a manager at a store looking over a potential employee's substandard resume. Her statement in it of itself wasn't enough for him, which in turn caused Trixie to further explain herself. "Ugh, I've been to your office before remember?" she clarified. "And I do have some magic left over, so I'm sure I can send you to work...if you'll let me, that is?" Without even thinking about it, Jon jumped up from his seat so fast he nearly fell over. He ran across the room and with a clap of his hands stood straight up and closed his eyes. "Alright!" he exclaimed. "Let's do this!" "Oh uh...right!" Trixie said, surprised by how quickly he trusted him, considering the last time he tried to teleport him somewhere for work. "Are you...um, you trust me?" "Sure I do," Jon said with a smile, which momentarily made Trixie feel warm inside. For the second time today, Trixie had the potential to be largely beneficial and Jon wasn't going to pass up that chance. "Now come on, I don't have all day." "Um just stay still and let me concentrate," she ordered. In preparation, Jon began to walk back and forth with his eyes constantly staring at her horn. "Would you stop moving around!?" Trixie barked. "It'd help me if you stood still." "Okay, okay, sorry!" Jon said, stopping in place on the other side of the room, which caused her to sigh. "It would also help if you'd come a little bit closer," she added. "It'll work better in close proximity." He obliged and walked right up to her. She was about to comment that he was too close but at this point, just wanted to get this over with. With that, the room fell to total silence. Even the television in the back stopped making noise, since at this time the kids had paused their game and were now looking from the other side of the couch, not wanting to miss the spectacle that was Trixie using her magic. Her horn began to fluctuate with magic in a faster and faster rate. To pass the time Jon tried counting the how long it would take for something to happen. At about thirteen seconds, Jon could feel a slight change in temperature and atmosphere like someone had replaced the air in the room with another brand of oxygen. This feeling lasted for a moment before it completely took over. When he opened his eyes he found himself in a pitch black environment instead of a bright flash of light like what usually happened. "Okay, what the hell?" he thought to himself. He tried taking step forward, but he stepped on something like some kind of container. "Hey!" he yelled out. "Is anyone here?" When no one called back, Jon dug into his pocket and pulled out a lighter he always kept, just in case. After a couple of attempts, he managed to create a tiny flame which illuminated his present location: a tiny enclosure filled with cleaning supplies and a mop. Immediately Jon recognized where he was. Trixie had indeed teleported him to the Daily Show headquarters, but instead of appearing on stage or in his office, he had reappeared inside the Janitor's closet. "Well..." Jon said with a sigh. "At least this time it wasn't Cloudsdale." Turning around, he spotted the door which led to a hallway to the main office space. He grabbed the door handle and pushed forward, but that only caused him to smack his face against its wooden frame. Just his luck; the door was locked. "This day...cannot get any more worse," He groused as he began to bang on the door for help.