//------------------------------// // Episode 3 [Applejack]: The farm // Story: The Daily Show presents: Equestrian Interviews // by Daily Show Ponies //------------------------------// It had been a few days since Jon had an Equestrian citizen on his show. Not because people had stopped watching them, quite the opposite; after the interview with Derpy the world was once again in a state of Insatiability. The reason why Jon hadn't invited another person from Equestria on his show was because he had his hands full dealing with the backlash of unleashing the loveable Derpy on the world. Much like before people from all walks of life were in a frenzy about the interview but unlike before a majority of the attention wasn't on Jon or the 'Daily Show' (Though they were getting still holding the number one spot in the ratings) but on Derpy herself. Shortly after the interview the world had fallen in love her and she became a house hold name in less than a day. Comedy Central, seeing the opportunity in this, offered to act as publishers for Derpy's and sold copies of her cook book on their website. On average it took less than 20 minutes for her book to be sold out and this occurred everyday at regular intervals. Jon himself was busy contacting Derpy and relaying messages, essentially acting as the "Go-to person" for both parties, mostly due to the fact that he was the only one on earth with direct contact to her or her world. Jon also had to deal with countless people requesting to meet with her and others requesting her appearance on whatever given show. Jon had to turn them all away. The official reason was because Celestia didn't like the idea of anyone other than Jon doing business with her subjects. The unofficial reason, which Jon provided to the public via a press release, was that she needed to go back home to fulfill her civil duties as a the mailmare. What all this meant was he had very little time to think about "Equestrian interviews," so to fill the gap he did his show normally but when it came time for the interview segment, much to the disappointment of many fans, Jon talked with a lower profile individual that he had lined up months ago as filler. This only made the fans wanting for "Equestrian interviews" even greater as displayed by their constant sending of letters, videos, tweets, and many forms of messages. All varying differently in style but all with the same message. We want more! It was now Saturday night and Jon had managed to (Very easily) convince the executives back at the station to move some programs around for a special Sunday edition of 'The Daily Show.' He wanted to give the fans what they wanted. The two free days he had leading up to Sunday were used by Jon responsibly. He made phone calls to Celestia only asking for information on some people on the list for future reference. He even got the chance to send the occasional letter or phone call, via Celestia, to various Equestrian citizens requesting their appearance on the show at a later date. This way Jon could set up appearances ahead of time making scheduling much simpler. And, if need be, have a filler or two for any last minute hiccups. But for now Jon had only one thing on his mind. Who was going to appear as a guest on the special Sunday edition of the show? "I can't just have anyone on for tomorrow," Jon thought. "Whoever this person is he or she needs to be big." Jon at one point even thought about asking Celestia herself to appear on the show but with further thought decided that it wouldn't be the best idea...at least not right now. Jon was now sitting atop his desk in his study staring at the list of names Celestia had given him and there at the very top was the same selection of names in bold text. Jon had previously deduced that these names belonged to some very important people of Equestria; partly because they were at the top and in bold but also because among those names was the princess Celestia's as well. However six of the names were also grouped together in a bracket with the title "E.O.H." These names in order were: Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Fluttershy, and Applejack. Jon recognized the fist name from his interview with Spike but the other five were a mystery to him. Jon had been doing this for many years and experience had taught him that if you have a high profile celebrity willing to appear on your show you save it for a rainy day. This of course being one of them. One name however jumped out at him and just as well it was the one located at the bottom of the bracket. Looking back Jon liked to think he picked this particular name because of the context of the character associated with it. That the person who this name belonged to was someone of utmost importance to the pony community and that she deserved the attention and resulting glory that came with it. But in reality he chose this this particular name simply because it sounded the funniest to him. Applejack...what a silly name. A few quick dials on his phone later and Jon was once again talking with Celestia, and for the first time he knew exactly who he wanted before hand. "Greetings, Jon. Its nice to hear from you again," Celestia said without falter. "Do you wish for me to bestow on you more information on somepony?" "Actually I"m scheduled to go on the air tomorrow," Jon responded. "And I want to talk to you about having someone on that show for an interview." "Oh that's wonderful." She said kindheartedly, "I was wondering when you would ask again. Though isn't tomorrow a Sunday?" "Exactly," Jon said, "I managed to get the higher-ups to schedule a show tomorrow. A special occasion like this demands a special guest." Celestia couldn't have agreed more. "Yes I can certainly see where your coming from." She responded, nodding her head. "I don't suppose you already have someone in mind?" Jon sat up in his chair as if ready to get up at any moment. "Actually I do," he said, surprising Celestia somewhat. "Tell me, what do you know about...Applejack." She took a second to respond. "Ahhh Applejack," she responded, sounding as if she was remembering a long lost friend. "If that's who you wish to have on your show next then I must say its a wise choice. I'm certain you'll learn all you need to know during your interview with her but for now I'll say this...she is without a doubt that most honest pony you'll ever meet." The answering was short and simple, but good enough for Jon. "Well alright then!" Jon said, sounding like a champion about to defend his title. "Lets set this up!" "Certainly," Celestia said with a level of excitement much less than Jon's. "After we're done talking I'll summon her to the palace to address the issue. I'm certain that she-" "Actually," he interrupted, feeling somewhat nervous that he did. "If its all the same with you I want to ask her myself...in person." "Is that so?" Celestia said, sounding surprised. "Well this is certainly new of you." Jon was still a little uncomfortable with someone of royalty being his personal middle-man, (Lord knows he knew the feeling between Derpy and his studio) but this wasn't why he offered to ask himself. In this particular instance he felt a more direct approach was in order. "Hey now, I get my own coffee ever now and again," Jon replied jokingly. "But really, I just figured that with someone like this a face to face meeting would be appropriate...that is if she's as important as she seems to be." Celestia found herself humbled by Jon's sense of reverence for the situation. "I see, how very honorable of you," She said, sounding pleased. "I knew I picked the right person to do this." Jon couldn't help but feel flattered. It wasn't everyday that he was praised by royalty. "Now then," Celestia continued, readying her horn. "Shall I transport you to her." "Wait!" He said desperately. "Give me a few minutes." Celestia agreed and Jon put her on hold as he dashed over to his closet. The last time Jon visited Equestria was the night he got the list of names and the letter explaining what to do with it. That night, in an effort to prove she was real, Celestia teleported him to her royal palace where he had the ill fortune of conducting business with her for the first time in his pajamas. Jon wasn't going to make the same mistake again. If he was going back to Equestria, on business no less, he was going to do it right. It took him about fifteen minutes but he eventually adorned himself in a neat black suit, complete with: clean pressed pants, matching jacket, and a tie which (According the collective opinions of his female co-workers) really brought out the color in his eyes. In addition his hair was neatly done, though it was no where near as good as when he was on stage thanks in part to his hair dresser. But for now it would have to do; he was ready. "Alright, fire away!" He said to Celestia, this time remembering to stand up straight and keep his eyes closed. Celestia acknowledged him and begun to cast her spell. For a moment Jon wondered if he was still in his study but before he could open his eyes to check a light surrounded him so bright that he noticed it through his tightly shut eyelids. Soon his other senses picked up on telltale signs that he wasn't in his home anymore. The ground beneath his feet felt different, his nose picked up on the smell of wilderness all around him and the beating sun combined with the occasional gust of wind told him he wasn't indoors. "Where the hell am I now?" Jon thought as he slowly opened his eyes. Back in New York it was still dark but wherever he was now it was bright as could be. Jon squinted and shielded his eyes like he had just emerged from a dark movie theater. As his eyes adjusted he quickly realized where he was much to his dismay. The last time he was in Equestria he was in the royal chambers of a princess and while this new location was just as surreal it couldn't be any more different. He was on a farm...a chicken coop having, barn yard adjacent, cow pie infested, honest to good farm. "Well...at least I'm not under dressed." Jon thought with a grimace as a gust of wind blew some dirt onto his pants and dress shoes. To his right Jon could see an enormous acre of evergreen trees that seemed to go for miles; Jon couldn't see very far inside as it got very dark very fast. To his left he saw a hill with many apple trees just behind it. In front of him was a few buildings which Jon prayed housed some forms of life. Jon was more accustomed to city life than the country side but even someone like him could tell how this was no ordinary farm. For starters the surrounds and texture of damn near everything was much more vibrant than what one would expect and, like everything else associated with this world, none of it looked real. With a deep sigh Jon made his way to the nearest building walking gingerly across the terrain as if it were infested with land mines. He was about half way there before a voice seized his attention. "Who in the hay are you?" A soft voice said from behind. Jon carefully turned around to see a small yellow Earthpony with red hair and a large pink bow on her head. The young filly was looking up at him with large eyes and much to Jon's surprise she did not have wings or a horn. Her voice, and noticeably small height, told him that whoever this pony was she was but a mere child. "Uh...hey." Jon said, mentally adjusting himself to talk appropriately. "My name is Jon...um, where am I?" The young pony gave a large smile and answered with a burst of enthusiasm that only a child could give for something as simple as a greeting. "Well howdy Jon! It's a pleasure to meet you! " The young filly said, extending her hoof towards the buildings behind him. "This here is Sweet apple Acres!" Jon noted that since the this pony knew the farm's name and was already in the area she most likely lived here. Could this be his new guest? "Sweet apple acres huh? Would've been nice to know that a head of time." He grumbed, only to remember why he was here in the first place. "Oh, uh say...are you Applejack." "Heck no," she said with a laugh. "I'm Applebloom!" Jon wondered if the recurring theme of apples was somehow related or just coincidence. "Oh I see. Do you know Applejack?" Jon asked. "Well of course I do! Everypony knows Applejack!" She said with a proud look on her face. "She's mah sister!" Before Jon could ask where he could find his potential guest the young Earthpony began to speak again. It was now her turn to start asking the questions. "What are ya anyway?" Applebloom said. "Um excuse me?" Jon replied. "What are ya?" She repeated louder, now circling Jon like a shark. "You sure aint no pony I've ever seen." "I'm not a pony," he said. "I'm a human." "A human? Whats that?" She asked as she continued to observe him. "Uh...It's...what I am." Jon said, unsure of how to go about answering such a question. "Uh, but listen I really need to--" "Where you from, Jonny?" Applebloom interrupted. "Oh well I'm from New York?" He responded, suddenly feeling like he was under a microscope. "But that's not imp--" "New York?" Applebloom said, looking confused. "Where's that?" "Uuum... its that way." Jon said, pointing in a random direction. "Now could you please tell me wh--" "What do you do in New York?" She asked. Jon was started to get annoyed. "I have my own television show," he said. "But listen please I really need to speak with--" "Wait a minute!" Applebloom interrupted, "You have your own T.V. show!? Are you Jon Stewart?!" Jon's frustration now gave way to a sense of bewilderment. "Uh yes- yes I am. I host 'The Daily Show." Jon said. The mere mention of the show seemed to resonate with the young Earthpony as her face lit up in excitement. "Do...do you watch the show?" Jon said, secretly hoping that she didn't. He didn't have any puritanical hang-ups on children watching his show. (He himself could recall a time in his life where he would sneak a peek at a nudey magazine at a local drug store when his mother wasn't looking, its just what kids do.) But seeing one in person would've be somewhat awkward. "No I don't." She replied, looking rather disappointing. "The older ponies won't let us fillys watch it...t'ain't fair." Jon found it interesting, though not surprising, that forms of censorship existed in this world as well. Applebloom fell silent for a moment as she continued to display her disapproval by kicking at the ground. Jon took this moment of silence to ask her the question he wanted to ask in the first place. "Listen Appleboom," he said, "Do you know where your sister is right now?" She looked back up at Jon, her expression back to looking cheerful. "Why sure I do! She's right over that clearing gathering apples." She said, pointing in the direction of the apple trees. "Why do ya wanna know? Is she in some kind of--" Before she could finish her sentence a sense of realization swept over her face as her jaw dropped. She spread all four of her legs slightly apart in a stance as if she was bracing herself for a head on collision with a wild bull. "WAIT A SECOND!" Applebloom blurted excitedly. "Are you fixin to invite mah sister on your fancy pants show!?" Jon had found his opening. "Yep! You got me!" Jon said with a smile, as he lowered himself closer to her level. "Now, would you be a sweetheart and go get her for me?" "I sure can, Jonny!" She said as she bolted off towards the hill so quickly she almost tripped over her own hoof. As Jon waited for her inevitable return he continued to walk over to the nearest building where he found a rocking chair on a porch to sit on. For a brief moment he felt strangely at ease as he let himself rock back and forth. Maybe it was fresh air, or the fact that he was so far away from the hustle and bustle of the big city, but he felt a sense of relaxation he hadn't felt in a while. His brief moment of isolation was soon interrupted by the familiar voice of Applebloom shouting nearby. "JONNY, JONNY!" She said. "WHERE ARE YA!?" The angle of the house meant that she couldn't see him, not without venturing further in. Before he could respond another voice was heard, this one much older sounding and whoever it was she was talking to young Applebloom. "Now, sugar cube," the other voice said. "What have I told you l about fibbin'?" "But, sis," Applebloom pleaded. "He was right here, I swear!" "Sure he was," the other voice said in jest. "Now why don't y'all go and play with you friends while I finish gatherin' up the last batch of apples." Jon wanted to see how far he could stay out of sight before being found but decided to stop torturing the poor filly and unveil himself. With that he got up from his chair and quickly rounded the corner to surprise the natives. "Howdy Pardner!" He said jokingly. His sudden appearance surprised the two Earthponies who were were a lot closer than Jon thought. Applebloom jumped back in shock but unfortunately the other pony present had other plans as she very quickly turned around and with all her might threw her hind legs at Jon in a swift but devastating kicking motion. Before Jon could even realize what had happened he was already a few feet away from where he was standing. Flat on his back on the dirty ground, the wind knocked out of him, and two perfect hoof prints on his new button down shirt. If his suit wasn't ruined before it was now. Before Jon could even begin to get up he was greeted by the two Earthponies. One of whom was of course Applebloom and the other was one he did not recognize. This new pony was orange and had blonde hair which was slightly covered by a brown cowboy hat. Her cutie mark was three apples and she looked to be even dirtier than Jon. He knew exactly who this was. "I'm so sorry!" The orange pony said. "Are you alright?" "Yeah, I'll be fine." Jon said getting up. He looked over at his freckled attacker who had a look of worry on her face. "Applejack, I presume?"