Twenty-Two
Hands
A My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
By Andrew J. Talon
DISCLAIMER: This is a non-profit fanbased work of prose. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is the property of Hasbro, and the reinvention of the lovely Lauren Faust. No copyright infringement is intended, please support the official release.
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The Northern Forests of Equestria were broad expanses of taiga, covered in pine trees poking out of the snow. It was gorgeous, green and white stretching out in all directions under a perfectly clear blue sky. The moon was visible dimly in the day, lit up by the sun. I sucked in a deep breath of the clear air, and smiled.
"Homesick?" Asked Cadence. I shrugged and leaned back against the railing of the airship we were riding. I looked down at the forest as it passed by underneath us.
"Yeah... Just a bit," I admitted. The Princess of Love smiled at me and nodded.
"I too feel homesick," she said, looking to the north herself. "I'm not from Equestria originally."
"No?" I asked in some surprise. I mean, I knew that there were more nations than Equestria but it was still somewhat new to me.
Cadence shook her head.
"No... I'm from the distant Crystal Empire," she said. "Long ago, it was the home to the Crystal ponies, and my family. But we had to escape it a thousand years ago, because the current ruler, King Sombra, banished it forever."
"Woah," I said in shock and sympathy. "I'm sorry to hear that, I... I can kind of relate."
"Yes," Cadence said with a sad smile, "the pain is near to us both. It was so long ago for me... But there are times it is as clear as day," she looked ahead. She looked at me. "You're good for her, you know."
"Hm?" I asked. Cadence nodded.
"Twilight, I mean. You don't have any magic, or powers, but you trust her enough to use her abilities and give her everything she needs," she said. "And you'll insult an alien demi-goddess to her face for her... And Fluttershy." She smiled and winked. "That kind of thing sticks with mares, believe me."
"Well, in my world, there aren't any more dragons to slay," I said with a wry smile. "So it's harder to impress women."
"That is a shame," Cadence said with a nod. "Though I've found that males of any species will make themselves some dragons to slay."
Shining trotted up to Cadence, clearing his throat rather loudly. "Dear, we're almost there," Shining said. "I was hoping we could check over the charts." He raised his eyebrows significantly. Cadence laughed and nuzzled him.
"Join me in the map room then~," she cooed, floating down the hatch into the airship's cabins. Shining watched her go with a grin, and then looked back at me with a scowl. I raised my hands.
"Hey, relax dude," I said. "I would never rub another man's rhubarb."
Shining's scowl deepened. "See that you don't..." He leaned in closer with a growl. "Because I remember everything you said you've been doing to my little sister."
I coughed. "... Yes, well... I was trying to break you out of the spell... Eheh..."
Shining smirked. "I'm married to the Princess of Love, Monkey Boy. Don't you forget it... Like I won't forget it," he growled. He turned and trotted down the hatch into the airship. I sighed and looked out at the trees below.
"Just great," I muttered.
- - - - - -
The site looked like any number of clearings below. I suppose that was the point-The snow dusting hid everything. We descended down to it, and I followed Shining and Cadence out into the snow. I shivered a bit, and held my package in my gloved hands.
"This way," Cadence said softly. We trotted through the snow, passing through the trees. Over a ridge, I saw a small gray gravestone poking out of the snow. As one, we walked up to the grave.
"Hello Nicole," Cadence said gently. "We brought you a visitor."
"Much better than the guest we had before," Shining said. He glanced at me, and clearly held back a "Barely". His wife was looking at him. I sighed and walked up in front of the grave. I kneeled down, and unwrapped my package-A bouquet of flowers.
"Hey," I said with a smile. I looked over at Cadence and Shining. The couple backed away, as though to allow me some privacy. I sighed and tapped my fingers over the bouquet.
"... It's cold," I said. "I mean, I'm..." I was silent again, and I groaned. "Look... We never met, but I saw your recordings. And your ship helped us save this world." I smiled brightly. "You helped save two worlds, how many people can say that? You were awesome... And... And you and Isaac..." I sighed and rubbed my forehead.
"I don't know what you believed in... If you believed in anything," I said. "I believe in God. Why is... Is kind of personal, but I do. I believe that there is purpose and good in this universe... Any universe, and you need to fight for it... So I do know you at least believe in good. And put it into action. So you know what? You are a hero. You and Isaac and... And everyone else. And without you, none of us would be free right now. Or alive," I said. "So... So I hope you're not offended, but I'm going to pray you and Isaac met up in the afterlife together." I looked over at Shining and Cadence, and back at the gravestone.
"I have first hand experience that love is a powerful force, no matter who shares it," I said with a smile. I set the flowers on the grave, and I rose back to my feet. I gave it a salute and smiled. "Thank you..."
I stepped back from the grave. Cadence and Shining smiled back.
"May we... Be alone?" She asked. I nodded and walked off back towards the ship. My hand went to my wallet, and I looked down at the recently added photo. Twilight and Fluttershy and the rest smiled back at me, and I smiled down.
"Yeah," I said softly. "Love... Is pretty awesome."
And someday, hopefully, Earth would know just how awesome...
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The Nicole and Isaac thing is still makin me bust a gut with laughter. Dead Space was a great game,(But goddamnit, the QTEs were so annoying sometimes!)
This chapter. I LIKE IT!
ANOTHER! *Punches computer screen.*
Your friend was correct. It got its point across quite well, said everything it needed to say, and no more.
I see a rocky road ahead, but I'm not sure who's going to have the worst time. Shining, probably, considering his somewhat "unfavorable" position with Twilight and Cadance regarding Andrew. And Luna - it just doesn't do to forget her. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Luna_lolface.png
Nice piece of closing. The Jack Nicholson Joker reference was a nice touch, too. Should be interesting to see how this all shakes out. Chrysalis as Friendship Intern? Oh, my, I see epic levels of awkwardness approaching. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/lolface_Queen_Chrysalis.png
"Ensign, weird is part of the job."
Someone just mentioned Nicole and Isaac, dead space. I fucking punched myself in the head for not realizing, sweet chapter by the way!
Cadence and shining are totally screwibg on her grave. Sounds like some freaky shit
King Theoden: "Hail the victorious dead!"
Soldiers: "Hail!"
Nice little chapter.
Personally, I don't think holding grudges is Shiny's MO. But maybe he's just overprotective after the Changeling invasion.
Yeah, this was a perfect length what was in the chapter.
2376520
Nothing says 'kinky' like broad daylight, out in the open, on an alien's grave.
It did indeed work very well.
"For us, the storm has passed... the war is over. But let us never forget those who journeyed into the howling dark and did not return. For their decision required courage beyond measure; sacrifice, and unshakable conviction that their fight... our fight, was elsewhere. As we start to rebuild, this hillside will remain barren, a memorial to heroes fallen. They ennobled all of us, and they shall not be forgotten."
Admiral Hood puts his cap back on, and salutes.
Gunnery Sergeant Pete Stacker: "Present arms!"
Seven Marines, standing in a line, draw their battle rifles and fire three volleys in unison, a three-volley salute to the fallen. The sound of the shots echo through Mount Kilimanjaro. The panorama changes as the Marines fire each shot.
2376475
Agreed.
2376560
Oh good some folks share my perception
2376554
That's what she said
You got your feels in my comedy!
You got your comedy in my feels!
*tastes*
Mmm!
2376700 Hmm, you've got a point there.
eeeeeee!
2376560 You joke, but, a close friend of mine walked up on that on his way to school one morning. Wasn't an alien grave, of course.
Really the only thing I don't like about this story is how out of character Twilight and Fluttershy are. It makes for a few good jokes at the expense of the protagonist but it really stretches credulity that A.) Either pony (esp. both) would find a human attractive and B.) that Twilight would go from a nerd to a sex addict or whatever. Just seems like pandering.
You're still a good writer though, one of the funniest in the fandom, so this gets a thumbs up.
2376472
SECONDED! *Chugs coffee and smashes mug*
Oh, and this is for you *Forks over wad of bills* Get yourself a new screen.
Ok, you have got to do a one shot about Chrysalis showing off her superior human transformation over Twilight's.
You can play it off with Chrysalis being insulted over a "shoddy attempt at true art"; Twilight could see it as a learning experience instead of an insult, all the while Andrew just sits there and watches sexy girl after sexy girl appear
Wait...
Chrysalis mentioned that she had been on Earth for a few years before the full-on invasion. Wouldn't that mean that she should get some of Andrew's references? 
After all, she would need to be able to fit in to society to not draw attention. 
2376838 Yeah, but under my hands the Sophia wouldn't do much soaring...
My first response to this was, strangely enough, a stream of "KEKEKEKEKEKE" in my head.
Now this, This is how a emotional filler episode should be done!
I finally caught up to this story after months of not reading any fanfics. I see and love what you did there.
Ok my only issues with the last few chapters is your playin in harem lands. or at least hinting at it kinda need to tone that down otherwise the realist view of this HiE is dead.
I mean that was the main reason I stuck with it
2376802
Well, that's actually an amazing Idea. Andrew! You gotta do this man! (Mainly for the lulz.)
Just perfect, man. Just perfect.
Oh my, this will be an excellent foundation for the coming chapters. Groovy.
Right in the feels! Thanks for the dollop of goodness. ^_^
Sounds like Andrew and Armour are going to
2376758
... Is that good or bad?
I always thought Shining was kind of an asshole. But maybe I just don't like older brothers...
It's love that reign supreme!! LOVE i say!!!
Whats that? He believes that there is good in the universe?
...Thats a nice everything you have there, shame if some elder god were to mess it up.
Welp, you're awesome...just pointing that out...and if you know why I say that, you're even more awesome, but get the fuck out of my head, you horrid mind reader.
Anyways, it does work as it is. Just a final moment, thanking the ones who basically saved his life, and helped him save other lives as well.
Also, kickass spaceship, but that's obvious and beside the point.
I'm happy that you added this chapter as it is. Works perfectly
2376771
Or WAS it?
2377760
Nah, Shining's fine. It's kind of his job to worry about Twilight even if she doesn't want him to. Part of being close family. Especially since big brothers take up the lot in life where they're (normally) protective of their younger siblings, sort of like a lesser father-figure and childhood friend all rolled up in one. He'd worry that she's being treated properly, that Andrew is sincere and honest (having people tell you the person is doesn't amount to much, since if they're NOT honest then those people won't know most likely) and that she's not being held back by him in anyway.
And since he's a married man, it's also kind of his job to make sure the weird space alien doesn't cause his newlywed wife to want in his pants, since pretty much every other mare wants to be.
Anyone who says they wouldn't do everything the same in Shining's position either doesn't know what either issue is actually like, or live in a fantasy world in their own heads. So don't let anyone tell you different. xD
2378040
that's true, even though I get angry at my little brother because he is a spoiled mama's boy I still love him and he is sweet, I would do anything to protect him, strangely enough all my brothers look almost exactly the same, despite two being younger then me and one being older...
2378031 Seriously, it was an old graveyard in the woods between the school and the store where his dad worked. One morning, there just happened to be two redneck kids going at it on a gravestone. He went on to the school, bumped into an admin. and mentioned something "interesting" going on back there. Then he bought a soda, sat back and watched as said admin. went into the woods. A few minutes later he heard a girl scream followed by her and the guy coming out of the woods running. Her skirt was pulled up and his pants were around his ankles. He just waved as they ran by. The admin. came stumbling out, laughing his ass off.
well then that was a long and good read, read it all in one shot and i found myself laughing so much and man was he a BADASS despite every brony knowing who would end up saving it at the end of the day, he still kicked ass!
epic name and teamwork for them, he totally went
+ 
all over him
I LOLed so bad at Chewie
i kinda liked the ending scenes kinda followed the epic movie climatic battle thing, where the main character kinda starts showing some traits or powers from those around him under stress, fluttershy's death stare, able to talk to a manticore, CMC levels of craziness and havoc, Twilight Sparkle levels of "ingenius?" plans and etc~
i was kinda wondering what was up with the dead space references if they were indeed dead space references, i didnt dislike them i was just unsure as to whether they were indeed references... Nicole and Isaac ummm im not asking a stupid question am i?
What a nice, refreshing way to start off the day. With nice feels.
Love this story dude, keep doing your best!
*sniff*
I has a feel. God know I didn't need one right now. Trying to do homework and all I can think about is the feel. Dammit.
2378789
Hah! Reminds me of a time back in highschool years back. A couple of students had actually gotten inside the ceiling of the substitute music room and were going at it. One of the school's police officers was walking by when he heard a loud creak and went in to investigate. Suddenly with a huge crack and showering of dust and light fixtures, the two fell through the ceiling almost directly onto the cop.
Unfortunately for them it was between classes, so everyone in the hall had a good look at what happened. Which meant we all got a huge damned laugh out of it.
This. This was great.
2379554
I always assumed Twi was supported by the princess and Fluttershy's job was community service/veterinarian.
They wanted an example of a purely monogamous animal so I gave them one and even shoved it in their faces that the area of DNA believed to be responsible for sexual behavior was identical to their own for good measure.
All this I did because of the supreme idiocy of nihilists and armchair evolutionists was pissing me off. If they wanted to see how monogamy was natural (or at least)benefited mankind they could just look out their door and bear witness to the astounding progress of man with the adoption of monogamy.
It's hard to focus on the happy when I'm thinking about dead space.