The Daily Show presents: Equestrian Interviews

by Daily Show Ponies


Episode 16 [Changeling]: The proposition.

Growing up in the 60’s and 70’s Jon Stewart was raised in the middle of generation that saw a new uprising backed by wave of drugs and stimulants. And while he himself wasn’t the biggest supporter of such narcotics, he understood how they worked. A feeling of unstoppable high followed by a crashing low point that made the user want more. This is exactly how he felt when he returned to his world from Equestria.

Jon wasn’t a stranger to the land of ponies. He had been to their cities and towns on numerous occasions, but this was different. Shortly after the initial thrill of interviewing Luna at the Canterlot music hall, Jon was then deemed fit enough to go back home, (though he suspected they only let him leave because he causing too much trouble in the castle) and only then did reality start to set in once again.

He was now back in New York at the Daily Show Headquarters at a very early hour where he was trying, and failing, to get some work done. When he first arrived, he was greeted by his employees gawking at him and wanting to say something, but to no avail since he immediately made a beeline to his private office, not to get things started ahead of schedule, but because he found it difficult to face his loved ones back home.

Upon his arrival back, he was burdened with the uncomfortable task of having to tactfully explain to his family that Trixie won’t be coming back for a little bit. To his kids, he explained that she was hurt and that she was to rest in the hospital, but to his wife he admitted that the scenario of her never coming back was a possibility.

It for this reason that Jon didn’t tell his family that he himself almost met with a similar fate, he didn’t want to add to their worries. He tried to distract himself with the day to day office work that, at first, seemed so far away, but he found it almost impossible to focus when all he could think about was his friend still detained in Canterlot Castle.

His body had healed almost completely (though he still felt sore) from his ordeal, but the emotional scars were still present with no signs of ever going away. If he had his way, he’d stay at Trixie’s bedside until she woke up again, but he couldn’t stay away from his responsibilities back home either.

Trixie wasn’t the only thing Jon left behind in Canterlot. The special “Princess edition” of the show featuring Luna was such a smash hit that the team decided to leave the set (which was a portable replica of the actual one) at Canterlot Concert hall so that Celestia to add it to their hall of fame. However all she wanted was the backdrop and the large desk so every now and again she would teleport some of the lighting fixtures or audio equipment to Jon’s house or office.

The prospect of having massive luggages filled with heavy, and expensive, equipment teleported to his home and workplace at all hours of the day was not what Jon found most bothersome... it was the endless chain of sympathy cards that annoyed him.

A few months back, Jon had set an arrangement with Spike the dragon that any and all letters addressed to Jon, usually fan mail, would go to him whereupon he’d use his special ability to send it to Jon. But nowadays his services were being put to a different use. Along with his equipment, Jon had also been receiving a steady stream of Hallmark-esque greeting cards from ponies all over Equestria. Each of which were usually from fans wishing him the best of luck after his encounter and the hopes that he would feel better.

He read a few of them at first, and yeah, Jon thought their concern for what happened was touching, but when he was getting hundreds by the hour, his appreciation turned to detest. On the whole, he was thankful for their prayers and understood their compulsion to want to wish him well, he was quickly getting sick of ponies reminding him of something he was trying to forget and move on from.

It was for this reason that he issues a request to Spike that he stop sending him any and all letters from Equestria, at least for the time being. His orders were that if anyone sent him a letter he was to hold onto it until further notice. Spike was quickly starting to run out of places to store them all.

He just wanted to forget what happened to him... which proved to be impossible, even now. Only a small handful of interns and employees were present and, at this hour, even less were actually working; least of all was Jon himself who took to staying in his office and requested he not be disturbed. There he sat in his chair idly passing the time by doing nothing.

This was the first time he was back at the office since the attack and he still found it difficult to think about anything else. The fresh pile of paperwork that needed his attention did very little to distract him from the fact that the last time he was sitting in his chair, behind his desk, and in this room he did so while being threatened by a monster.

The most cringe worthy reminder of his ordeal was when he looked upwards at his ceiling only to see the stain from where Queen Chrysalis had encases his assistant in a cocoon. To try and forget, Jon bolted from his seat so fast it fell backwards, crashing to the ground. He slowly began to walk in circles around his office occasionally catching glimpses of himself in the reflection of the awards he had on his walls.

It seemed like, no matter what, Jon couldn’t think about anything other than what he’d been through. For all his joking about, what happened, and his claims that he was fine, deep down he was consumed by it, and while he didn’t want to admit it, was obsessed with what happened. What he wanted was for things to go back to the way things were before, but he knew that was impossible. What he desired was his friend back, what he wanted was to forget this ever happened, what he wanted was... something to distract him. Which he got in the form of a bright green flame.

Jon’s pathetic jog around his office had lead him to the opposite side of the room near the door when he heard, felt, and indeed smelled, the incoming delivery. At the corner of his eyes, Jon caught the arrival of something falling on his desk. Since it arrived by the medium of dragon fire he knew it was from Spike which confused him since he asked him to stop sending him letters. What surprised even more however was that instead of the usual avalanche of “Get well soon” cards he had received a single lone letter.

This was just enough of a mystery to get Jon to investigate, rather than just throwing it away like expired food. Tentatively, he walked across the room to his desk like he was approaching a bomb. Eventually, he made it back to his chair when he loomed over the letter, he was surprised to see what was written on it.

The letter itself was very elegant looking and seemed to be made of expensive stationary. The envelope was royal blue with golden edges which contrasted nicely with the sloppy handwritting on the front of it which read: “From Octavia and Vinyl Scratch.”

“Hmmm.” Jon mumbled as he picked up the letter. “This should be very interesting.”