THIS IS THE DAILY SHOW WITH JON STEWART
Series: Equestrian interviews
Interviewer: Jon Stewart
Guest: The Great and Powerful Trixie (Trixie)
Date: ???
Location: Daily Show headquarters
733 11th Avenue Manhattan, NY 10019
THIS IS THE DAILY SHOW WITH JON STEWART
The sound of cameras turning on could barley be heard over the audience who were chatting amongst themselves. Jon had sent out a tweet stating that there was to be a very early morning edition of the show which would only contain the interview segment.
To anyone in the Manhattan area there will be an off the air taping of the show occurring @ 6:30 #Equestrian_Interview
Ordinarily the turnout for the event might not have been as big as an actual episode but Jon playfully made sure mention that is was in fact an "Equestrian" Interview to make sure people showed up. The result of this was a huge line waiting around the block to get in. The set looked as average as it always had with the only difference being the 'On air' sign would never turn on.
Before the taping a stagehand explained once more to the audience what this early morning shooting was for; after getting nodding heads he made a gesture and the camera starting to film. The crowd realized that the taping had begun which meant the show was about to start. This interview may not have been a part of a real show but the audience's excitement was very much genuine.
The camera angle changed slowly from the audience to Jon, essentially going from looking down from an upper level to looking forward from the lower level. The camera zoomed in on Jon who was rocking back in his chair and pretending to adjust his tie.
"Hi, welcome back to the Daily Show our guest tonight!" Jon yelled. "She is a traveling magician who is the self-proclaimed best magic user in all of Equestria. Please welcome to the show Trixie!"
The crowd began its usual level of cheering at the thought of not only getting to see an "Equestrian Interview" but also at the prospect seeing a real magician. For a few seconds no one turned up on stage which caused the applause and excitement to diminish somewhat...only to return again with even greater intensity.
Trixie finally appeared on set though instead of simply walking on out like most quests did she instead opted to teleport herself to the center of the stage in a cloud of vibrant smoke. She stood there hooves extended outward as if she was trying to grab the heavens. Before Jon could even get up from his seat her horn glowed with magic as she began to blast forth a spectrum of colors at the audience. In actuality it was only using a simple illumination spell but to those in attendance it was a wonder to behold.
Jon began to approach Trixie who was still providing her own show for the audience but immediately stood back once she threw up another spell which caused what looked like multiple flares to spring forth out of nowhere. Jon decided to stay where he was which was by the guest's chair.
After her little performance had ended she faced Jon who motioned for her to come over and sit down by lightly tapping the seat of the chair. With her magic now at an end Trixie noticed that the audience's cheers was slowly started to die down; she looked back at Jon and gave him a smug smile. She had an idea.
Once again her horn shined with a magic aura, an aura that also appeared over by the chair Jon was presenting her. Using her magic she forced it to roll over to her, surprising Jon in the process. The crowd found themselves in another uproar.
With the swivel chair now in front of her she easily teleported herself atop it and, using her magic once more, ordered it to carry her back over to Jon's desk. The crowd stood and applauded with delight while Jon walked over to his own chair giving his guest a non-sarcastic slow clap. He sat down ready to get things started.
"Wow, I gotta say," Jon said, pausing to let the crowd finish their cheering. "I've been...I've been doing this thing for over a decade now and that-- I've seen people come up to their seat but this is the first I've seen the seat come up to them."
"Well then I suppose those other guests just weren't as talented as me." Trixie said, nonchalantly looking at her hoof.
"Well...welcome to show," Jon said as he adjusted his notes. "I uh, I hope you've found your stay here in New York pleasant."
"Hmph, it's not the worst place I've ever been to." She responded. "I suppose it does have a...quaint charm to it."
"So uh-- so you're fine then?" Jon asked. "No complaints?" Jon would soon find out that Trixie had a complaint for a lot of things.
"Well now that you mention it I do have an issue I would like to discuss with you." She said, looking Jon dead in the eyes. "I am not at all pleased about your description of me for the intro."
"Oh uh...I had no idea." Jon retorted with a nervous smile. "Wha-what didn't you like about it?"
"Well for starters Stewart...'self proclaimed best magic user in all of Equestria?' She asked, leaning forward to intensify her glare. "Nothing about me is 'self proclaimed.' I simply am the best at magic. Don't believe me? Ask your spectators." Before Jon could respond he was cut off by a quick burst of cheering from the audience.
"I'll...I'll make a note of that!" Jon said as he comically scribbled on his notes. "Anything else I should know, Trixie?"
"YES; that! Please refer to me by my actual title...THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE!" She said, throwing her hooves in the air.
"How about an abbreviation?" Jon asked. "I could call you for GAPT for short?" The crowd chuckled while Trixie just gave him an icy glare.
"Ok..." Jon said raising his hands in defeat. "The Great and Powerful Trixie it is."
"Very good." Trixie said. "Now that wasn't so hard was it?" Jon didn't feel like answering that question. He just wanted to continue with some of his laid out talking points.
"So...Great and Powerful Trixie." Jon said. "Why do you think-- I mean, why are you the most powerful pony in all of Equestria?"
"Are you blind Stewart? Did you not see my performance?" Trixie asked. "I suppose it's true what they say about one's vision being the first to go in their old age." The crowed grew with anticipation, wandering how Jon would respond. For the entire interview they just assumed her attitude was just part of an act. It wasn't.
"No, no I saw." Jon retorted. "I mean my vision is just fine...don't believe me? Ask me how many fingers you're holding up." The crowd laughed while Trixie just continued glaring at Jon. The last thing she wanted was to be out staged, even on Jon's own show.
"But what I mean is...how uh, how do you know for certain you're the best?" He continued. "I mean have you gone around challenging other ponies, till there can be only one or something like that?"
"You're not too far off. For you see I'm actually a wandering sorcerer," Trixie answered "I go from town to town displaying my magic for all to see! And in my travels I have yet to find a single pony as talented as the Great and Powerful Trixie."
"It uh, it almost sounds like you’re a traveling performer." Jon retorted. "An...entertainer if you will."
"If you feel the need to I suppose you can label me as such." Trixie answered as she flipped her hair. "Though I prefer the term 'wandering sorcerer.'"
"Well riddle me this." Jon retorted. "Do you...display your magic for the entertainment of others or do you ever charge money?"
"I'll charge a nominal fee every now and again." She responded tentatively. "And yes I do generally use my magic for entertainment purposes."
"For what it's worth it really does sound like you're an entertainer." he retorted. "You know we have people here in our world who do the same thing. It's how they make a living."
"Is that so?" Trixie shot back, sounding interested. "Like who?"
"Well the most famous I can think of are Pen and Teller," Jon answered. "Um there are others like: David Copperfield, Siegfried and Roy, Mark Wilson...but to my mind the best is still Pen and Teller."
"Tell me Stewart." She said. "These magicians of your world...what kind of magic do they do. I'm certain their abilities pale in comparison to my own."
"My how...confident of you." Jon retorted. "But you see they-- that's another thing what they do isn't technically magic. At least not by any literal definition."
"Elaborate!" Trixie demanded.
"Well you see we don't have real magic here in our world, what these magicians do is simple parlor tricks." Jon explained. "They use smoke, mirrors, and the sleight of hand to make it look real when it really isn't."
Trixie gave the audience a look as if she wanted to confirm with them that what Jon said was true.
"I mean here in our world we have a little saying: 'a magician never reveals his secrets.' But in fact...some of the people I mentioned before have and every time it's revealed that their magic is...uh for lack of a better term-- fake." Jon said as he turned to address the audience. "Welcome to 'The Daily Show' where we ruin childhoods!"
The crowd laughed as Trixie, in a gesture to show off her superiority, used her magic to levitate the water out of her mug and into her mouth.
,
"My, how disappointing." She said. "The Great and Powerful Trixie was so hoping to show these so called 'magicians' that I am the superior magic user."
"Isn't that just a little bit presumptuous of you?" He said. "I mean you've never...met any of these men before. What makes you think you're better than they are?"
"Well Stewart as I've said before I have yet to meet anypony with more magical abilities than me," She answered. "I just naturally assumed that this world would be no different."
"Alright but hear me out for a second...hypothetically." Jon said leaning forward. "Let's say you uh, you did get the chance to go one-on-one with one of our magicians...what would be your game plan? How would you deal with, with their forms of magic?"
"Simple. Trixie would simply deduce how their magic works than replicate it but better." She said. "And thus I would show that there is nothing the Great and Powerful Trixie cannot do."
"You really think you could do all that?" Jon asked as he raised his eyebrow. "Just show up and beat them at their own game."
"Of course." Trixie said proudly. "I've said this before and I'll say it again: 'anything you can do I can do better!'"
"You can do anything better than me?" Jon asked
"Yes I can!" Trixie answered.
"No you can't." Jon responded.
"Yes I can!" She exclaimed. "Why I could even do a better job of hosting this show than you."
The crowed cooed with anticipation while Jon leaned back in lofty shock and gave her a smile.
"Oh you think ya bettah than me!?" Jon said with his New York accent. "You think you're that good?"
"Oh please Stewart," She said. "Your so called comedy is no difficult feat. Anypony could do it; observe." Trixie cleared her throat and used her magic to face the audience.
"Why did the Scootaloo Cross the road? To get the cutie mark on the other side!"
"What did one lumbercolt say to the other lumbercolt when he hit him with his axe? Sorry, that was an 'AXEident.'"
"What is a pony’s favorite drink? A Maregarita!"
"How many apples did Applejack need to make her Pie? 3.14!"
The audience as well as Jon laughed as soon as her routine ended. Trixie took their laughter as proof of her comedic talent unaware that they were laughing at how awful her jokes were.
"You know what," Jon said still in mid-laugh. "I'll give you this...you certainly are 'entertaining.'"
"Trixie told you so." She said raising her head in the air. "I mean, was there ever any doubt."
"But tell me oh Great and Powerful Trixie." Jon continued. "You uh...you say you're the best and that you've been going around doing your magic from place to place. Who--what obstacles have you had to overcome to get where you are today?"
The question was met with some hesitance on Trixie's part. Being used to people just watching her rather than talking to her she was not familiar with someone asking questions like this before. She had no idea that Jon was only getting started.
"Why do you wish to know?" Trixie asked.
"Well we have six minutes to kill and you seem to be really good at talking about yourself." Jon answered. Before Trixie could respond Jon made sure to give an honest answer.
"But really it's because it sounds as if you've seen a lot of things in your time." Jon added. "Plus I'm sure your fans would love to know a little more about you." Sensing the direction he was going in the crowd began to cheer for Trixie to answer. She couldn't say no at this point.
"I can assure that there have been very little things that can get in my way," Trixie answered. "But if you must know I would say my biggest obstacle would be...a lack of support for what I do. When I first started doing this I didn't receive positive feedback for using my magic for entertainment purposes."
"Ah I've been there myself." Jon said. "I was really young when I...started doing comedy and standup and because of that it was difficult to get a gig let alone get my foot in the door."
"It...It was hard for you too?" Trixie asked.
"Oh you bet," Jon answered, sounding as genuine as he could be. "I mean even my own parents didn't fully support my decision at first." Trixie was in the middle of using her magic to transport more water into her mouth when she lost focus, causing her water to spill on the table.
"Your parents?" She asked inquisitively.
"Yeah...I guess they didn't like the idea of seeing their baby boy grow up to be a dime-a-dozen comic," Jon answered. "But even though they had their disagreements they still made sure to respect my decision and give some support...which, let me tell ya, really helped me a lot when I was waiting tables at comedy clubs."
For the first time in the interview Trixie didn't have a quick and pompous response but instead had a look on her face as if someone had given her an extra hard math equation. He'd seen that look before.
"How about your parents?" Jon asked. The question caused Trixie to once again return her attention to Jon.
"Excuse me?" She said.
"Were your parents supportive of you being an entertainer?" He asked.
"I...wouldn't know." Trixie answered. "I've never really met my parents." Jon began to wonder if this was going to be one of those interviews.
"Oh I see," Jon said. He wanted to be tactful about this subject yet at the same time get her to open up more. "What do you mean exactly by...by 'never really met?'"
Trixie didn't know how to answer; no one had ever asked such a personal question before. Uncertain of what to do she chose to tell the truth.
"What the Great and Pow....what I mean is my parents left me at an orphanage when I was but a mere filly." She answered. "According to those who worked there I looked to be only a year old." Now Jon was certain that this was indeed going to be one of those kinds of interviews.
"I'm...so sorry to hear." Jon said.
"It wasn't all bad." She said, as she brushed her hair aside. "It was because of dear old mommy and daddy leaving me there that I discovered my special talent."
"Your special talent?" Jon asked. Trixie stopped playing with her hair and swung her hoof behind her to whisk her cap in the air. This briefly displayed her cutie mark which was a magic wand sprinkling what look like magic powder.
"Yes, as you can see by my cutie mark Trixie was born to be a magician." She said.
"If you don't mind me asking." Jon continued. "How...uh, how did you discover your talent for magic at an orphanage?"
Trixie debated on not answering his questions but in the end decided to on the off chance the audience would turn on her if she didn't.
"Well Stewart when you've lived in an orphanage as long as Trixie did you're bound to find your special talent sooner or later." She answered. "I went unadopted for most of my young life so when I got older I became a 'big sister' who was in charge of taking care of the younger fillies and colts who came in. A lot of them were scared or sad and it was my responsibility to show them around the orphanage."
The crowd as well as Jon held their breath less they accidentally distracted Trixie from her story.
"I found early on that I could use my magic to entertain them and make them feel more at home." Trixie continued. "I remember on rainy nights when we couldn't play outside I would put on magic shows for them. Or if somepony didn't get adopted I would cheer them up by using a spell to playfully levitate them in air, or as they called it 'playing rocket ship.' Some nights, if the children were frightened of the dark, I would use my horn as a night light till they went to bed."
"I see. Now...you say you spent most of your younger years at the orphanage," Jon said leaning forward so she could hear him. "And you discovered your special talent there so how did you learn to use magic in the first place? Did you teach yourself or something?"
"No somepony at the orphanage trained me," Trixie said as a perky smile found its way on her face. "An older unicorn...his name was Puppet Theater," Jon noticed that this was the first time he'd seen Trixie smile at something that wasn't out of arrogance or pride...she simply looked happy.
"Tell me about this unicorn." Jon said.
"Well he didn't work there or anything like that; he was also an orphan," Trixie continued, the smile still resting on her face. "He was a few years older than me and when I first arrived at the the orphanage he was the one who took care of me like how I eventually did with the other ponies. He had a fondness for carving wooden puppets and he would use his magic to make them dance for us. When I got to a certain age he taught me how to use magic like he did and we became good friends."
"What kind of pony was he?" Jon asked. Trixie answered as if she was a schoolgirl talking about a boy from homeroom class.
"Oh well he was unicorn like me of course but he was much taller." She said with a giggle. "His coat was a simple light brown and he had a wavy black mane. He always wore this blue bow tie and he had the most adorable cutie mark you've ever seen. A puppet held up by strings."
Jon had never seen her look so happy...which is why he hated that he had to ask his next question.
"So...where is--What ever happened to Puppet Theater?" Jon asked. The smile on Trixie's face disappeared.
"He got adopted." Trixie said bluntly. "Right around the time I got my cutie mark a family took him away from me-- us. With him gone I was the oldest pony and was in charge of taking care of the little ones...I never saw him again after that."
"You didn't try to get in touch with him?" Jon asked.
"I had no idea where he went so it would've impossible." She answered. "All I knew was he gone to live in some kind of distant town but I never found out which one." Jon tried to steer the conversation in a somewhat different direction.
"So when did you get adopted?" He asked.
"...I never did." Trixie answered. "I lived at the orphanage till I was too old to stay and the couple who owned the place, Mr and Mrs. Heart, were forced to kick me out." Jon didn't know at the time but Trixie getting sent away would become a common theme in her life.
"Whoa...I-- I can't imagine what that must've been like." Jon said. He tried to reach for her hoof but Trixie pulled it away. "Where did you go afterwards?" Trixie took a moment to respond.
"Well...since I was on my own for the first time in my life I decided to try and improve my magic so I can further my career as an entertainer," She said as she twirled the water in her mug with her hoof. "But with Puppet Theater gone I needed a new teacher so I worked a couple of odd jobs for the next year till I earned enough money to attend my first semester at a private academy for Unicorns."
"Oh well that's nice," Jon said. "Did you end up learning the kind of magic that would help you...as uh, as an entertainer?"
"Yes I did," Trixie said. "Unfortunately learning that kind of magic is what got me into trouble."
"What do you mean?" Jon asked as he scooted up in his chair.
"Well...remember when Trixie said her desires to learn magic for entertainment purposes wasn't well received?" She asked.
"Yes..." Jon answered.
"Well that all began at the academy," she continued. "Depending on where you go Unicorns will treat magic with the utmost reverence. To some magic is a sacred act which demands an equal level of respect...let's just say some of the ponies at the academy didn't like the fact that Trixie was using their precious knowledge of magic for 'fun and games.'"
"Could you give us an example of this?" Jon asked. Trixie took a moment to think before speaking.
"Very well Stewart, behold that power that is the Great and Powerful Trixie!" She said as she stood up in her chair. Her somewhat troubled demeanor was replaced with her usual egotistical confidence as she was once again back in her element.
Her horn became illuminated with magic as she began to cast bright light which filled the room. Some of Jon's stagehands caught on to this and dimmed the light. It was dark enough to the point where the brightest thing in the entire set was Trixie.
"This...is a simple illumination spell. Nothing special" Trixie said. "And this is what a little extra magic can do." The magic around her horn changed in color and flow and along with it so did the light it projected. The white light changed to a light blue color; before the audience could even give out audible reaction the color changed again and again and again till her point came across.
"You see Stewart one of the things I picked up from school was I could change the color of an illumination spell if I added some extra magic," Trixie boasted as she changed the hue again and again. "If I wanted to I could even make it I could throw the light around me in multiple bursts."
"That's very impressive!" Jon said. All at once Trixie ended her light show so she could address Jon.
"Well the headmasters at the academy didn't think so," Trixie said with a layer of detest in her voice. The lights turned back on and with it Trixie continued to speak. "You see to do these tricks I need to add an extra bit of magic and concentration. My professors didn't like that one bit. To them it was a pointless waste of time and talent to take an already simple spell l work extra hard to decorate it."
"So what did you end up doing?" Jon asked.
"What else could I do...I ignored them. I didn't care what they thought so continued to learn magic with the sole purpose of being an entertainer and traveling lands." Trixie answered. "A lot of my tricks came about from basic spells with a cosmetic overlay...as time went on I experimented with what I could do. Teleportation spells with funny sound effects, voice alteration spells where I could change my tone to something more humerus...I even learned a defensive spell where I could cast a smoke bomb to avoid enemies but changed it so the smoke was colorful and shiny."
"Huh, a young woman goes to college to learn and ends up experimenting, no that seems about right." Jon responded as he tapped his pen against his desk in anticipation. "I can't imagine this went over very well with your professors."
"No it didn't," Trixie answered. "They tried to get me to stop but I told them I wouldn't so they did the only thing they could do..."
"Oh don't tell me..." Jon said as he winced in discomfort.
"That's right; I as expelled," Trixie said without a hint of grievance in her voice. "They kicked me out too...I suppose they just could not handle the genius that is the Great and Powerful Trixie!"
Jon paused to think of another topic to change to, wondering if it would just yield more bad memories for his guest.
"Ok so...you're now out of college and you have a new understanding of magic," Jon said waving his hand in front of Trixie. "What did you do next?"
"Isn't it obvious? One so proficient in magic as myself cannot keep her talents bottled up." Trixie answered with a smirk. "After Trixie was so wrongfully expelled I traveled the lands displaying my magic from town to town."
"How did that work out for you?" He asked. "I mean being a traveling performer must've been tough for someone on their own."
"Hmph. Well let’s just say there were those out there who shared the same...philosophy as my college." Trixie said as she idly adjusted her cape.
"Other towns didn't like you using magic for entertainment?" Jon asked, knowing all too well the feeling of getting thrown out of a night club because his routine was no good.
"Yes but that wasn't the only reason. It's true I performed in towns that didn't like my style of magic but other towns had their excuses too." Trixie said as she held her head high in the air. "The first town I visited was populated by traditionalist Unicorns who didn't approve of me. Another town kicked me out because they were all hardworking Earthponies who didn't allow magic. I even remember one city forced me to leave because I needed a license to perform on their streets...a license which they would not authorize to me."
"You...I'm sorry to say but you make it sound like you didn't have much success at all out in the field." Jon said which got him a sharp look from Trixie.
"You assume to much Stewart! While it's true I did have trouble getting around I was met with more welcoming experiences as well. Though even they had their reasons for wanting to get rid of me." She said. "I recall one town which welcomed me with open hooves. I made a killing there but some of the local flavor threatened me to move since I was taking business away from them. But that's not all; Trixie remembers a town that loved me so much they couldn't get any work done on account of their citizens lining up to observe me. The mayor asked me to leave since I was too much of a distraction...her words not mine."
Jon was starting to get a better picture of his guest...a sad picture of a Unicorn who simply wanted to call a someplace home but never could.
"Each excuse may have been different from the last but in the end...in the end every town had a reason to want to get rid of me," Trixie continued in a somewhat sad tone only to immediately bounce back to her pompous one. "They were all just jealous of the Great and Powerful Trixie!"
The last thing Jon wanted to do was interrupt Trixie at the moment so he made sure to wait till she was done talking.
"So Trixie what, uh what town would you consider to have been the most hospitable towards you?" Jon asked. Trixie thought about the question for a second.
"I had a pretty good thing going for me in this one town...you might've heard of it, it's called 'Ponyville.'" Trixie said straight faced.
"I've...I've been there." Jon said nodding his head. "I didn't know you once performed in Ponyville. Too bad I missed it."
"This happened over a year ago," She continued. "For a moment I thought I might've found a permanent resting location. Or at the very least a base of operations. The citizens loved me, my magic was at its prime, and I even out did their local heroes with my power. Everything was perfect."
"Until?" Jon ventured.
"Until I was...out staged by the one called...Twilight Sparkle." Trixie said taking a sip of her water like she was trying to wash back down the name she just uttered.
"I know about Twilight Sparkle." Jon added. "We just recently had her on the show."
"Trixie knows of this!" She shot back. "Commercials promoting her were all over Equestria! Word of her appearance spread like wild fire."
"And that's when you first heard about it?" He asked.
"Indeed. The second I learned of...Twilight getting to be on television I knew it was up to me to take her place and show the world what real magic was!" Trixie exclaimed.
"Well if that's what you were trying to do you're a little late," he said. "I mean we already had her on and everything."
"You do not need to remind me of that," Trixie said with sharpened eyes. "But I can live with this...after all I do believe the saying goes; "save the best for last.'"
"I don't mean anything by this," Jon retorted. "But why did it take you so long to get here if you knew of Twilight's appearance three days in advance." This question was met by Trixie crinkling her snout before responding.
"Well like Trixie said before it was difficult getting here," she said. "I've never been to New York so teleporting here would be naturally difficult since I could not visualize my location. In addition this is an entirely different world which only made it that more difficult."
"Then how did you do it?" Jon asked.
Trixie smiled a most devious smile. To her Jon might as well have asked "Trixie why are you so great?"
"Trixie can understand your wanting to know after all, the method I used is rather genius if I do say so myself." She said. "You see since I've never been to your world traveling would be near impossible. So Trixie found an alternate route."
"You took the bus?" Jon asked. The crowd laughed while Trixie just ignored him.
"You see I concocted a special spell. A spell that took three days and many ingredients to make but a spell that once activated would have teleported me straight to you." She said, pausing for dramatic effect. "Since I didn't know where you were I had my magic do the leg work for me...I simply construed a powerful spell that, when activated, would teleport me to 'the funniest human on earth.'"
Jon felt a combination of both being impressed and flattered.
"Oh wow nice trick, hope you didn't leave your oven on." Jon joked as he adjusted his tie. "You know I gotta say it's a real compliment that your magic would--"
"Of course that didn't work at first because when I called forth my magic to teleport me to the funniest human it revealed to me that said human was a man by the name of George Carlin who had passed away a few years ago, so I knew that couldn't be you." Trixie interrupted. "I tried again and instructed my magic send me to the second most funnies human on earth but all I got was somepony by the name of Dave Chappelle who lived in a place called California. Based on this humans skin tone and general looks I knew it wasn't you. Then I tried again with the third funniest and again another name came up...some human called Louis C. K. Afterwards I..."
Jon leaned forward with his hand under his chin and listened as Trixie listed one by one names of people who were apparently funnier than he was.
"...and then when I asked for the eight funniest human my magic told me it was a human by the name of Chris Rock," Trixie continued. "Then I tried the ninth funniest but all I got was a hairy looking human by the name of Robin Williams, so then I..."
Each name she listed felt like a huge blow to Jon's ego which wasn't helped by the audience who continued to laugh.
"Finally I instructed the magic to teleport me to the sixteenth funniest human in the world and that's when I got Jon Stewart," Trixie added. "With the right human finally revealed I fully activated my spell and it teleported me to your dwellings."
Jon took a deep breath before responding.
"Are you kidding me!" Jon blurted out, slightly startling Trixie. "You mean to tell me I didn't even make it in the top fifteen!?"
"What can I say? Magic doesn't lie." Trixie said with a laugh. "For the longest time I thought my spell might have been corrupted. I would have tested it by asking who is the most powerful Unicorn...though if I wanted to know that all I would need to do is look in the mirror."
Jon wanted to comment that for all her boasting it still took her three days to use the spell while it took Twilight only one mid afternoon's worth. He decided against it on the off chance that she would take it personally.
"You know that seems like an awful amount of trouble just to get on the show. Especially all by yourself." He said. "Wouldn't it have been easier to...oh I don't know just ask for help or something."
"I don't need any help." She said with a frown. Jon could sense she was holding something back.
"Why not?" He asked.
"Because I just don't! Other ponies may need help but not the Great and Powerful Trixie! There is nothing I can't do!" She announced, sounding somewhat angry. "Why would I need the help of those inferior to me? All they so do is dismiss me and cast me away without a second thought but once they all see me on TV they'll know just how great I am...I just...I just want to prove to the world that I am more then just a wondering Unicorn who does tricks."
Jon sat back and watched the passion within Trixie burst forward.
"You see this...this is all to show them what I'm made of!" She continued. "Now everypony will see me! My parents, Mr and Mrs. Heart, the orphans, my old school, all those towns that tossed me aside, even...Puppet Theater, They'll all see me and know what I've become!"
Jon sat back in his chair and smiled, for the first time he saw Trixie in a whole new light. Jon could understand how her experiences could leave her bitter, but underneath it all Jon saw a pony who just wanted closure...to be at peace. He regretted that this was an off-the-air show
"I mean...um what I meant to say was, the actual reason why I didn't ask for help is because I knew no one would," Trixie added as she admired her hooves. "Celestia made it illegal for anypony to travel to the human world without her permission so I did it alone to avoid being caught."
Jon stared at Trixie, waiting for her flawed logic to sink in but it never did. Now he was relieved that this was an off-the-air taping.
"You know what Trixie...from where I'm sitting you turned out pretty great," He said. "And another thing...I say fuck those other towns for not wanting you. I think I speak for everyone when I say as far as we're concerned you'll always have a home here in New York!"
Trixie watched as the crowd stood up and began to chant her name. Never before had she received such overwhelming praise.
"Listen we’re out of time but would you mind staying for about five minutes and we'll throw the rest up on the web?" Jon asked over the roar of the crowd. Trixie quickly looked back at Jon wide eyed.
"You...you want me to stay," She asked before shaking her head back and forth to regain her composure. "I mean the Great and Powerful Trixie could spare a minute or two. It would be a crime to deprive the masses of more Trixie."
"Thanks again for being here tonight," Jon said as he turned to the camera. "The Great and Powerful Trixie everyone! We'll be right back!"
The camera began its usual route as it ascended to the sky; the last image of the two is Jon whispering something in Trixie's ear as she used her magic to make an object levitate towards the audience. Soon the Daily show logo made its way on screen before disappearing in time for another commercial break.