Cultural Artifacts

by Dan_s Comments


14) On Broken Glass

Dan's Comments

Cultural Artifacts - On Broken Glass

DISCLAIMER: My Little Pony is the property of Hasbro, Inc.

Day 25

        The teams had located the remains and were policing them up. With the dispersion of the clouds enough light remained that visibility, even in the Everfree Forest remained good. Luna would later raise an especially bright moon, allowing her troopers to continue the work late into the night. Shining Armor had added an order to police up all the spent brass as a separate action. The brass would be returned to the Big Guy for his disposal.

        "I'm not sure if I'm jealous or worried," Armor said to a team of officers. "As slow as these things moved, it would have been more like a dangerous shooting gallery, but how many of these things did he down?"

        "Several hundred," one of the technical experts said as she examined one of the fallen, "Almost always through the head. Remind me never to get him mad at me."

        "Plenty of ponies have survived getting him mad. Don't threaten foals and civilians around him," Armor said, "That seems to be when he runs up the black flag and starts slitting throats."

        "Report," Cadence said as she arrived, helping Celestia coordinate the investigation, while Luna and Armor neutralized anything left.

        Armor saluted smartly, which made Cadence frown. "No remaining mobile targets, your Highness. Our friend seemed to have destroyed them all. Our technical ponies have confirmed and reconfirmed all findings. You might want to discuss those findings with Private Hollyhock."

        Cadence saluted back, as textbook as his own. "I shall do that," she said firmly, "Thank you for your diligence, Captain."

        She paused and turned back. "You're cute when you're officious," she added and trotted off.

        Armor ignored the swiftly hidden smiles and half-chuckles from his loyal soldiers. "Don't forget I'll need volunteers to help police up all the pieces."

        The hiding of smiles became far easier.


        Diamond Tiara listened to her father, and his friends, downstairs drinking, and strangely, comparing how frightened they'd been. First, of the impending swarm of monsters that had been expected, then of that horrid monster calmly and leisurely dispatching many of them while the ponies watched and waited to unleash their thunder and lightning, and lastly whether all of that would put an end to it.

        She crouched on the stairs so they wouldn't see her, and listen to their stories. With each new boast on how frightened they were, she died a little more inside. How can they be proud of being scared? Why didn't they let the monsters destroy each other when they had the chance?

        She remembered the experience with the farm. She'd been charmed like every other pony. Then that thing so casually defeated all those Diamond Dogs, she thought and shivered at the screams she remembered. Why don't they see how dangerous and deadly he is? Even Celestia has been infected with his monstrous ways! She roared at him, and all the adults think it's funny or 'refreshing'. Don't they see, don't they understand? Now they're proud of being afraid of something he stirred up just to show off. They're even proud of how scared of him they are! she thought desperately, Something needs to be done.


        Celestia had watched the sun go down and the bright moon rise, and had switched from protective overwatch on her ponies to the ruler wanting answers. "What have you found?" she asked on landing near the excavation of the source of the town and the many monsters that had been released.

        "Highness," the head scientist didn't rise from her microscope, the earth pony mare knew her Majesty wanted answers more than fawning. "It's a plant, a huge one. At least the size of a building." The mare stepped away from the microscope, bowed her head, then signaled her liege to follow. "It is one of the most unusual plants I've seen. It's amazingly sophisticated. There are sense organs throughout the 'town'. The mass of the mobile items exceeds the mass of the main plant. They are probably designed to kill and dismember their prey items to fertilize the soil. The plant itself has no intelligence, but it can somehow tailor the lure to the mind of the target. We haven't worked out why this time it imprinted on our visitor."

        " 'This time'? This has been here a while?" Celestia asked in horror.

        "The main plant probably required sixty to eighty years minimum to grow. The pods probably required twenty to thirty years to regenerate the force we saw. That may be adjusted upward as we determine the total weight of the mobile elements."

        "How intelligent were they?" Celestia asked worriedly.

        "You'll have to debrief the Big Guy, but I think they are still plants, faster then usual, but slow enough they could be jogged away from," the scientist said, "This is what worries me." The mare walked over to a piece, and as her horn glowed, a section of the central mass rattled on the ground. The mare gasped and the piece ceased moving. "I could have picked up a cow with that much effort. If a pony had been caught, an earth pony would find themselves weak and disoriented, a pegasus couldn't fly, and a unicorn would find their magic drained away. If you'd attacked directly, instead of summoning the clouds and lightning, you would have been hours blasting away at these things. We haven't determined if they are disruptive to pony magic, or they can convert it to 'food' directly."

        "I can imagine firing on this thing, and suddenly having two of them," Celestia said with horror.

        "Yes, your majesty," the mare said, "Or dozens to hundreds of the mobile items. Worse, they wouldn't show up instantly, but in a few weeks to a few years."

        Celestia grimaced at that. "Fortunate we had a distinctly non magical gardener."

        "Very lucky," the mare agreed.


        Derpy was nervous that he'd gone limp some moments after she'd lifted off. I thought I wanted that, she considered, Maybe I didn't. She grew more worried when he started shivering despite the warm air all around him.

        She spotted Lyra and Trixie waiting for him down below. She smiled at that. She also spotted a third unicorn hiding behind a hay bale, waiting to pounce. No, that's not right, she thought as she shifted her landing point to come down behind her daughter's hiding place.

        "Mama," Dinky complained.

        "Don't 'mama' me," Derpy replied, "He's been getting jumped out at by monsters all day and you want to jump out at him too?"

        "But Princess Luna said we got all of the things," Dinky insisted.

        "Does he know that?" Derpy asked teasingly as she leaned over and nose rubbed her foal, "Now, give him the hug you wanted, then see if there's a bathtub or a shower anywhere."

        "Okay," Dinky said as she hopped up on the hay bale. The Big Guy cuddled her the way Derpy sometimes did, enclosing the small unicorn with her whole body. Afer a moment he relaxed out of the crouch, like a clam opening its shell. While Dinky was cuddling, Derpy saw the concerned looks on the two adult unicorns. She shook her head slightly. 'Not in front of Dinky' was the message she was trying to send.

        After she kissed him on the nose, Dinky jumped down and raised off on her mission.

        "That could have been," Lyra said in fearful tones.

        "Really embarrassing," Derpy said the singsong way she'd talk to a baby or a cat. While one eye glared at Lyra, and the other at Trixie. "Really embarrassing," she said and giggled slightly. "He's off six hours fighting off the something out of a ghost story, and doesn't know he's safe yet," Derpy said lightly, "He didn't hurt my daughter when she jumped out. He wouldn't have. But jumping out and shouting scary words is a bad idea right now, agreed?"

        The two unicorns nodded. He made a sound that was both apologetic and worried. Derpy put her nose against his lips.

        "That's enough from you too," she said gently, "You did what you had to, and now you have to relearn you're safe."

        "Do you know what's wrong?" Trixie asked.

        "Old mail stallion who did the run in griffon territory. One day he took off his uniform and mail bag and jumped in a mess of cactus. After a few months in Ponyville, and the story circulating around, he told me 'It seemed a good idea at the time.' I watched him jump at little noises, go off in the corner and cry for no reason, and other things. Turns out he broke inside, they called it 'sunstroke' but it was dodging griffons, until he thought they were everywhere." Derpy glanced at their friend who hadn't moved since they left him. "I think somebody went through that stallion's 15 years all in one afternoon," the implications made worse by the happy, singsong tone Derpy was using, "I think he needs a bath, and a few strong reminders that he's safe, and we can protect him from most of the things he'll run into. And we won't run away from him when he forgets where he is."

        "Trixie may have a problem with that," Lyra said quietly, "But I think I have an answer, leave a calendar and a map. He knows our numbers, and he can obviously navigate. So you can write your itinerary that way."

        "Why does everypony assume Trixie will leave?" the showmare asked haughtily.

        "Because even Discord figured you would," Derpy said, "But Lyra's right, you leave, and you come back, if you stay longer you can send him a letter with an amended calendar."

        Trixie looked at the two other mares and sighed.


        You'd think imagining Blueblood all muddy and near tears about it would be the most delicious experience in Equestria, Shining Armor thought as he kept a serious expression and his temper firmly in place, But the reality of having Blueblood in your office whining about it takes all the fun away.

        "Now we understand as the colonel of a regiment, we are expected to accompany the soldiers into the field occasionally. But for polo, or a parade," the royal white unicorn stallion who was so mud-spattered, he looked like an Appaloosa whined and stamped his hooves in a way that reminded him of Fluttershy.

        "Never have understood Polo, like the poor mix of Hoofball and Croquet," Shining commented.

        "That's because you never learned you aren't allowed over hoof shots. So you dragged our regiment out here, instead of letting us hold our game," Blueblood whined.

        Wait a Celestia-loving second, the North Border Fusiliers are his regiment. They're a crack outfit, how'd that happen? Shining wanted to demand, but kept a stoic expression.

        "Of course they dragged us out here, you know big joke on a beloved officer, that kind of thing," Blueblood said, "But then we are put in actual DANGER! That's what the army is for!"

        "They are the army," Shining said, and regretted it.

        "But we did our service. We are only supposed to be there to wave to our adoring fans during parades. We recruited ponies who liked commanding others in the field. We know our presence inspired the troops, but we know they were worried about us and would have served just as bravely, and just as capably if we had remained behind in Canterlot."

        "A sentiment shared by most of the troops, not just those of your regiment," Mile Stone said, "I assure you, Colonel Blueblood."

        The distraught prince smiled. "Thank you, we are so glad someone understands." Then he was distraught again. "And how ever are we going to get all this mud out? We were just groomed, it will be so embarrassing to have that done the very next day. And the jokes, go rolling in the mud like a foal, eh Blueblood?" He sighed despondently.

        The arrival of Cadence changed the dynamic. "Your Highness, why don't we head over to the canteen and get a soothing cup of tea?" she said and smiled.

        "Why the canteen, I wish to retire to my tent, and my misery," Blueblood said.

        "Because Rarity just searched the canteen and is headed to camp out in your tent until you return," Cadence said.

        "We will continue this later," Blueblood said and made his hasty exit.

        "We're using the tent as a field aid station," Cadence said, and left to follow him.

        "I'm glad that silly pavilion is getting used for something useful," Armor said as he tried to remember what he was doing with the paperwork on his desk before Blueblood had burst in.

        "Say what you like about his cowardice. While the tantrum he had when he realized he was on the front lines was enjoyable," Mile Stone said, "Once he understood those trenches were going to keep whatever came out of the forest from chewing on his tail, he showed tremendous will and insight in laying them out and making them as strong as possible."

        "I thought you laid out those trench lines," Armor said his tone and expression betraying his amazement, "They were excellent."

        "His work," Mile Stone admitted, "He was obviously paying attention in defensive engineering class. And I never thought whining was a good motivational tool."

        "How did that work?" Armor asked in amazement.

        "If you were doing a good job, he glanced at it and left. If you weren't . . . " Mile Stone shuddered.

        "Got it," Armor said and shuddered as well.

        "Oh, Captain Armor," Rarity said as she stuck her nose in the office, "I heard that Prince Blueblood was here."

        "Uh," Armor said.

        "Check the large pavilion," Mile Stone said, "We're using it as an aid station, but he might be there."

        "How convenient," Rarity said cheerfully, then added coldly, "He'll be there shortly." She withdrew and the two battle-hardened soldiers shivered.

        "Warn Princess Cadence?" Mile Stone asked.

        "Warn Cadence," Armor replied, and scraped the frost off his paperwork.


        "You!"

        Cadence and Blueblood froze at the tone. Cadence bravely put herself between the fast approaching Rarity and the paralyzed prince.

        "Prince Cadence, how wonderful to see you," Rarity said, oozing charm from every pore, "Who did you offend to be given the garbage detail?" Rarity grinned and winked at the alicorn.

        "Rarity, I can't let you kill him," Cadence said firmly.

        " 'Kill'," Blueblood whimpered.

        "Oh your Highness," Rarity sounded hurt, "I would never think of such a thing. Who spreads these terrible rumors?"

        Cadence and Blueblood relaxed slightly.

        "I want him to live, ha ha ha ha!" Rarity laughed, raising the hackles on both royals, "Now, there has to be a bathtub in that gaudy hovel you dragged out here."

        " 'Gaudy hovel'," Blueblood said in offended tones, caught sight of Rarity's expression and cowered, "The firm really does quality work, maybe you just haven't taken a proper look at it - "

        "Silence," Rarity hissed, "Yes. Or. No. Bathtub?"

        "Uh, two. One for decontam, the -" Blueblood bowed his head. "The other is my private . . . but it's too deep for that creature, unless he sat on the step that's to let ponies climb in and out."

        "Hollyhock was talking about a griffon recipe, where they feed a hog peaches, apples, sweet berries, so when they roast the hog, it's got a big, fruit sausage inside. It might be possible to snip it out earlier and cook separately. Bathtub, now," Rarity said in a cheery singsong, "GO!"

        "Auntie Celly!" Blueblood ran off squealing.

        "See," Rarity said to a horrified Cadence, "Properly focused and trained, he's quite useful." She flipped her mane and trotted off happily.


        The decontamination bath had a curtain around it. Not for any notion of pony modesty, but to prevent any splashes from reaching beyond the curtain. It served admirably as a privacy shield.

        "I'm worried that he hasn't protested being naked, except for his underpants," Derpy said to Trixie. Their friend's passivity was distressing her.

        "After a major performance, you can feel totally drained," Trixie said as she helped Derpy guide their friend to kneel in the shallow but wide pool. Nurse Redheart and Fluttershy were also there with buckets of vaguely warm, but soapy water to rinse him off. "You can smell the difference," Trixie added and sniffed his skin, "His normal sweat is a bit salty, like sea spray. This is more acrid. The main thing we're going to have to worry about is him falling asleep in the soak bath."

        He sat down cross-legged, his head bowed as if accepting whatever came next. Trixie levitated a sponge, and began working his shouldered and back. Derpy took one hand and began washing it gently. Fluttershy carefully flew over and worked the shampoo into his hair.

        "Maybe we can get a job as spa ponies," Trixie said. The others chuckled.

        The attention seemed to raise some interest. He held his head still as Fluttershy worked, but he looked at the others with a confused expression, as if not understanding this simple task.

        "It's all right," Nurse Redheart said in her best calming tones.

        "Uh, rinse?" Fluttershy said, as she hovered before him with a bucket in her hooves. He nodded and shielded his eyes. Fluttershy daintily poured the water on his head, sluicing off the shampoo. She flew over to set the bucket down and returned with a towel for dry his hair off.

        "I think you're enjoying this as much as Lyra would," Trixie half-mockingly accused.

        "Well, maybe a little," Fluttershy said, "He's hurt, and we have to help him."

        "Arguably the deadliest creature in Equestria, and you treat it as a huggy-toy," Trixie said, "And people say Trixie is eccentric."

        "He's your friend too," Fluttershy offered.

        "He is Trixie's friend. He's your plaything," Trixie said, "Not that he minds, but he isn't a bear or a squirrel. Ironically, you can talk to them better than you can to him. He might not like being treated as an object to be dealt with instead of a pony to be interacted with."

        "I understand, thank you," Fluttershy replied as she finished drying his hair, then flew in front of him. Only when he looked at her did she rub her nose against his and smile. His answering smile was weary but brightened hers.

        Trixie just rolled her eyes at the antics. "You should teach her Highness that," she said, "It would make their romance a lot smoother."

        "You think I have -?" Fluttershy looked at him fearfully. "You think that I'm -?" She looked at Trixie. "That I want to -?" Fluttershy stammered as she looked back at him and began blushing furiously, "He's my friend!" she managed.

        "Friends can be lovers," Derpy said as she worked, "Best kind I've heard."

        The snort from Nurse Redheart brought them up. "If you want kids, dating another species is the worst way to get them. Hippogriffs are a story made up by pony griffon-fanciers, they don't happen, or die within a few days of birth. The other hybrids you read about in the tabloids either don't happen, or when they do use some obscene amount of magic, they don't survive. So do what you both want, just don't expect foals."

        "I have a foal," Derpy said quietly, "Whose father didn't stay. Maybe I am looking for a father for my foal, and maybe a bigger family. But I want a friend first." She looked around woefully. "I don't have too many of those either."

        He seemed to sense her mood, and laid a hand on her head. She looked up and smiled at him. He gave her a bemused smile back. Then dumped a rinse water bucket on her.

        Derpy grimaced, then jumped into the pool and shook like a dog. "Get him girls!"


        Lyra poked her head through the curtain at the sound of pony squealing that the guards outside were ignoring. She glanced up as Blueblood stuck his head in above hers. A moment later he pulled back. "I didn't see anything," he said, mirroring the guards' reactions.

        "Good plan," Lyra said and spared one glance at the play fight that had two 'victims': Derpy and Trixie, flat on their backs, hooves windmilling uselessly, getting tickled by his hands, and Fluttershy with his legs wrapped around her neck, while he breathed on her ears and kept her happily squealing. Nurse Redheart was trying to look officious to break up the fight, but kept giggling. "I didn't see anything either," Lyra said, pulled back and decided to wait.


        "Serves you all right," Nurse Redheart said as she walked along with the group, all of whom would occasionally wince at a pulled muscle or strain. She tried to be stern, but she kept grinning at the memory of the three ponies 'attacking' the Big Guy, and the beleaguered foe turning the situation against them. Derpy's hooves were too sensitive and she couldn't cover all of them and still 'attack'. The ring of skin around Trixie's horn had proved her undoing, and prevented her from using magic. And the less thought about Fluttershy's ears the better, the nurse pony thought as the Big Guy limped along with them.

        He'd wiggle his fingers at the mares when any of them glared at him. They'd giggle and jump away, only to intensify their glare from a safe distance.

        Lyra was waiting for them, with a very concerned expression on her face. A quick scratch behind the ears reassured the mint-green unicorn that the Big Guy was at least partially all right.

        The bath had its own magic to make and keep it warm. Blueblood had taught Lyra the spell, before hastily retreating in tears. The Big Guy painfully climbed in, eschewing the offers of help from the ponies. He sat on the flop-down step in the bath, submerged to his shoulders and let out a pleased sigh.

        Lyra watched him to ensure he either didn't fall asleep, or didn't fall over if she missed the first.

        The others sat around the bath and exchanged knowing grins.

        "What did I miss?" Lyra asked, and was answered with blushes and giggles she simply had to have the answers to.


        Svetlana looked around the area, she had been summoned by the Ruler of Equestria, and she went. The Alicorn was looking over the remnants of the 'town' that had nearly trapped her friend. The place gave Svetlana shivers like not even a full-grown dragon could.

        "What did he do here?" Princess Celestia asked, and glanced at her to let her know it wasn't a rhetorical question.

        "He seemed to realize what this was, did some work to confirm his suspicions. Collected photographic proof so we could communicate to the citizens of Ponyville, and to you. Then he acted," she reported, sensing and fearing the odd mood of the Solar Diarch.

        "So, it was all calculated. Like solving an equation?" Celestia asked.

        Sveti felt the student facing the principal about some unspoken person's wrongdoing. "More like a technically proficient musician. There was some passion, and a certain amount of art to the preparations."

        Celestia seemed to deflate slightly, bowing her head to study the ground she scuffed with her hoof. "And the execution, executions? What about that? You flew over most of it to get here."

        "Professional, methodical, not passionate. The operation was more like solving an equation."

        Celestia raised her head slightly, but she was still looking up at the griffon. The stance she took was not submissive, far from it. The defeat was there, but it no way implied Sveti was the victor. The powerful tone and the submissive stance grated on the griffon's instincts.

        "Go on, I want stream of consciousness," Celestia said without raising her head.

        "Whatever this was, it was a threat. He had confidence that his weapons would serve, he gave us, your ponies and me, more than ample time to lay down an ambush. He baited the creatures out into the open where they could be destroyed and ensured that you could locate the source and center to engage it."

        "Professional?"

        "Professional," Sveti agreed, "Highness, what are you looking for?"

        "Our peoples have found the rules, of how to live together," Celestia said as she studied the small divot she'd dug with her hoof, "Haven't we?"

        "It is not perfect," Sveti admitted, "But it has reduced friction."

        "How dangerous would you say he is?" Celestia asked as she covered over the small hole she'd made.

        Sveti let out a breath. "He killed a Diamond Dog who hurt some foals and then refused to stand down. He then accepted the same foal and played foalsitter/tutor for an afternoon. So he can be as lethal as a provoked rattlesnake. Or he can be as harmless as a stuffed toy. It depends."

        " 'It depends', and how do we predict it? He's a monster, a killer worse than anything that lives on Equestria, and he's yet to do more than yell at my ponies. Insult me to my core." Celestia shook her head. "So you don't know what to expect from him either."

        "I know not to threaten foals around him. I would be very chary about threatening a noncombatant or someone he cared for. Derpy Hooves and Fluttershy are convinced he's more a danger to himself than any ponies."

        "Maybe he's already gone insane, and he'll only become a threat when he becomes lucid," Celestia said idly.

        Sveti felt her hackles rise at Celestia's eerie tone and apparent disinterest, while she concentrated on minor details. "I think he will strike only against those where and when he has no other alternative. When he has friends, advocates and help, he can afford a wider variety of responses," Sveti said carefully.

        I'm wondering if the Big Guy is the one who went insane, she thought carefully.

        "What do you see here?" Celestia asked as gestured at the charred ruins.

        "The monster's trap, destroyed," Sveti said.

        "Luna and I did this. I - I enjoyed fighting something like this." The Solar Diarch looked at the griffon. "I thought of what it had done, how it had tricked us and killed my ponies without us knowing. We rained fire on it. He came in with a plan that would insure we did this, or something like it. How can you just go from slaughtering like what you flew over, to being safe for children? Would you trust him to look after one of your foals?"

        "Fledgling, I actually would be more worried the fledgling would hurt him, than the other way around," Sveti said.

        "Yet he planned and did this. How? Can he just turn it on and off? Is it hardwired to not harm the young, or just the helpless?" Celestia asked as she glanced around nervously.

        "What was the fate of Tirek, Nistag, and Nightmare? Imprisonment or banishment. He holds Discord enthralled. He has no reason to love you, your Majesty, but has he raised a hand against you?"

        Celestia shuddered. "Only in a manner of speaking," she said shakily, "More to show his own indifference to my power. When he thought I would kill him."

        "Then the only one who you need fear for is your sister. She keeps offering him a reason to get close, then snatches it away. He will grow weary of that. I have no doubt of that, but strike back at her?" She looked around the ruins. "He is too smart for that. He will not strike where any can see, but at the heart of the matter. And studied indifference will cut deeper than anything that will raise your ire."

        Celestia smiled wearily. "Why can all my ponies love and trust him, and I am just terrified?"

        "You have hurt him, and know there will be a reckoning. If I may?" Sveti asked carefully.

        Celestia raised her head and nodded.

        "He would not need to hit you so hard, if you would just listen. You act as if you know everything. For anything in Equestria, you would be nearly right. Something has to be hidden with great care and effort to escape your sight. This thing is proof of that. But he is not from this world, and he wants to know the rules, so he doesn't release something that no one can control. You are afraid, because he will destroy what threatens your ponies, and you know that he has marked you and your sister as threats. But you've forgotten, he shot one Diamond Dog, and let the others not just live but leave. He blinded another batch, but they all lived and were healed. He will destroy the threat, but he will use a scalpel, not a sword. If you truly love your ponies, perhaps you can play patient to his surgeon, rather than victim to his regicide. If you find a way to trust and confide in him, he will be as gentle as he would with any other child going through growing pains."

        "Thank you," Celestia said and nodded.

        Sveti bowed, then made as stately a retreat as a terrified griffon could manage.


        They saw he was ready to climb out, Dinky ran up to the edge of the bath and used her horn to lift up a towel to him. He took it, smiled at the foal and began drying himself off. The problem came as he stood up.

        He crashed back down with a hiss. He tried to catch himself with his arms, but one seemed to collapse under him. Trixie and Lyra caught him before he could crash down completely.

        "What's wrong?" Dinky squealed in alarm.

        "Lift him out," Nurse Redheart said, "Easy Dinky, I think I know, and it's not life-threatening. See how swollen his ankle is?"

        The young unicorn saw that his right ankle looked more like a pony's, and his left looked frighteningly skinny as it usually did. "But he could walk earlier," Dinky protested as Lyra and Trixie lowered the Big Guy onto a blanket.

        "He was wearing boots," the nurse pony said as she approached, "You might want to move up where he can hold you, this might hurt a little."

        "Like shots," Dinky said reproachfully and walked to his good arm and nuzzled his shoulder.

        He gave her a lopsided smile, but his expression tightened as the nurse moved his foot. He said something pointed to the nurse. Dinky nuzzled him as he reacted, he petted her mane as she did.

        "Dislocation," the nurse explained, "With his boots on they supported the ankle, but he's going to have to keep off it, and keep it elevated for a few days." The nurse sighed. "Now how do we tell him that?"

        "We'll make sure he understands," Derpy said as she stared at the wounded limb.

        "I'll talk to one of the healers," the nurse said, "But for tonight, he needs to rest. And I mean rest."

        "What do you mean?" Dinky asked.

        The nurse suddenly got nervous about answering.

        "She means we do what we always do," Derpy said as she stared at the nurse, "Although you should probably not cuddle up with his feet."

        The nurse nodded, and glanced from Derpy to Lyra. "Yes, of course, sorry."

        Dinky smiled. "That's okay. He's always trying to keep them warm, I thought I'd help."

        "I'll bring some cold packs for his elbow and ankle," the nurse said and backed out of the room in the tent.

        "What would we be doing except sleeping?" Dinky asked.

        "Snuggling," her mom said as she walked over and rubbed her nose on the Big Guy's, then on Dinky's. The little foal giggled.


        Rarity sat beside the side entrance that led directly into the Big Guy's temporary quarters. Others guarded the internal entrance, but Rarity and her 'volunteer' had stationed themselves out here.

        The extremely nervous Blueblood would occasionally sidle a few inches away from Rarity, and his post. The mare would allow it, until the gap opened, then she'd clear her throat. The fretting prince would dart back into place. After a few repetitions, and the signs that the entire camp was going to sleep, Rarity spoke up.

        "You seem to enjoy playing the useless dolt," she said.

        "Useless fop," he corrected, "It gets me overlooked. Without being completely ignored as totally clueless."

        "Why?" she whispered out of the corner of her mouth.

        "You sat between my mother and my aunt, and have to ask that question?" he replied, and moved slightly away from her. "It's also useful in dealing with the occasional assassin or madpony. Even Celestia has enemies. Screaming at an errant moth, and knocking a flower pot on their head from three stories up, and nopony credits me with anything."

        "I can't imagine anypony plotting against her Highness," Rarity whispered aghast.

        "Because you love Auntie Celestia, and Aunt Luna. Some of the old families think that ponies should rule ponies."

        "What about Nightmare Moon and Discord?" Rarity whispered.

        "They'd come to an accommodation. That is, toss as many ponies to the monsters as it took so they wouldn't be bothered."

        "That's horrible," Rarity said.

        "That's how the ponies governed themselves before the Pony-sisters. It may be that Discord just had to sit back and watch the chaos. It explains his looking at us as playthings, we were never worthy of his respect," Blueblood said, "If that's the case, that may be why he was unknown in ancient times and only actually 'ruled' when we started to behave rationally. The toys quit being amusing and he had to prod them."

        Rarity cleared her throat again, and Blueblood practically jumped back to his post. She was beginning to suspect he rather enjoyed the game.


        They'd arranged the bedding on the floor of the tent. The height of the bed made falling off a concern. The mares giggled among themselves as they denied the Big Guy any hand in the preparations. Arriving by 'magic carpet' had been provocative, accepting being fussed over and pampered drove him quietly mad. Much to their amusement. Sveti made sure there was adequate insulation between him and the ground while Derpy placed the pillows just so, to ensure his leg stayed elevated. Any complaints by him elicited giggles and an occasional nuzzle.

        He begrudgingly laid down to let them layer the blankets, and set the ice packs on his ankle and elbow. As Dinky moved around behind, he did insist on something.

        "I guess he's worried about someone getting to his throat," Dinky said as he craned his neck to let her snuggle in under his chin and against his chest. She carefully aimed her horn and hooves away from him. "That won't work," she said as she examined her position. Dinky turned. "That won't work either."

        She suddenly realized the only position that would. She turned around and crawled forward on her belly, until her forelegs were under his neck, and her neck was draped over his, complete enclosing that vulnerable spot with her body. He grabbed a pillow to place behind him for her to prop her head upon. Before he relaxed again.

        Her momma snuggled against his back, while Lyra took the front. Trixie took up a position near his legs, to watch the leg support and the ice pack. Sveti had taken the bolster position as he laid his head on her barrel.

        "This is kind of weird," the griffon said.

        "The best place for a pony is right behind the foreleg," Trixie said, "Unicorn and pegasus."

        The griffon nodded. They missed the gray-magenta eyes that had watched this last part longingly.


        Celestia withdrew from the aid station tent. The medics had confiscated it, and Blueblood had made a protest to Shining Armor. We should have left him behind, she thought of her nephew, But we needed another set of experienced eyes, and he was trained. And managed to stay interested until he discovered he'd have to go out and get dirty. Then did I ever hear from his mother. She looked at another noble who was taking things too seriously.

        "Hello sister, are you going to check up on him?" Celestia asked her distracted and scattered sister.

        "Oh, Celestia, no I don't think that's a good idea. Better he stay with the medics and I check the perimeter."

        The rapid-fire delivery, blush and display of nervousness from Luna which initially piqued Celestia's curiosity, morphed into concern. "Are you feeling all right?" Celestia asked carefully.

        "Never better," Luna blurted out, then in horror realized what she'd said. She sighed and gathered herself. "There are hurt ponies, you and I acted like a pair of angry gods to destroy something utterly, and I feel not just fine, but better, clearer and more focused than I ever have before." She waved at the medical tent. "And it's his fault! I do want to go to him, in the form of his people, then I want to fight him, and whomever wins or loses, I want him inside me, filling my belly with his foals, his future. I want it so badly I know I'll do it," she admitted tearfully to her stunned sister, "If I go in there, even like this, I'll lose something of me that I will never get back. He's mortal, why should I care if he lives or he dies, I should have been like you! Striking for our ponies! Not for revenge, but to prevent any more from becoming victims! Instead, I fought something, without holding back, because it hurt somepony I cared about. And I felt, and feel more alive than I ever have. Now I want to prove it, to everyone. I want to challenge the guards to hoof-to-hoof combat, I want to challenge my sister to a no-holds barred tussle of muscle and magic, and want to be with a stallion irregardless of what he wants. That's all wrong, but it's what I feel." She bowed her head. "It's hard being around other ponies feeling like this. If I went in, I don't know what I'd do."

        "Sister, you won't do anything to hurt him," Celestia said and raised her sister's chin with a hoof so they looked at each other, "Love is not always just and kind, sometimes it's selfish, and thinking isn't the same as doing." She kissed her sister on the muzzle. "But I will take a raincheck on that tussle. I feel much the same. I wonder if his people ever realized that it is good that fighting and war are so terrible that we might grow fond of it. Go to him."

        Luna shook her head. "I can't."

        "If you don't," Celestia said, then a perfect duplicate of the form Luna had in the dream faced her, "I might. Would you like a whole pack of nieces and nephews?"

        "You wouldn't!" Luna gasped.

        The humanoid deeply considered. "You're right." She transformed into whom she'd been in dream. "I'd be honest about whom he was getting in a family way. Maybe it would get me over the fact that he terrifies me. He's struck me only once, and that was only to prove he didn't care if I killed him." Celestia returned to her normal form. She shook her head. "I looked at the town, and the trail of destruction leading away from it, and couldn't think of anything but 'what if this turned on my ponies' despite the glaring reality that it was only done to protect my ponies." Celestia looked at Luna. "I am as guilty as you, of having emotions beyond my control. Discord, Sombra -"

        "Nightmare Moon," Luna added.

        "Nightmare Moon, but not Luna, they threatened our ponies. I could understand my feelings. He's been nothing but a pranksome friend, putting his life and sanity on the line to defend our ponies from threats unimaginable, and he shows no evidence of changing. I should be commissioning a new hall for all the stained-glass windows he'll deserve. Instead, I nearly want to drag him out into the woods and crush him with my own hooves. The terrifying thing is, if I could communicate with him, he might even volunteer. That's so wrong. But it tortures me, as much as your feeling torment you. You aren't alone in being conflicted, my sister. But you can act on your conflict, and see what really will happen on confronting your fears. I must assuage mine than none of my friends and advisors will speak a bad word against him, save 'don't threaten the helpless around him'. Not a bad blemish to a sterling character."

        "Oh Tia." Luna nuzzled her sister.

        "Go to him, get your foals. Then I can at least be legitimately jealous that my little sister had a lover and children before I did, and I can get revenge by spoiling them rotten," Celestia said and grinned.

        Luna chuckled as she left.

        Hmm, both? No, let him heal. But the fires will have cooled before the next battle . . . I hope! Celestia thought as she trotted off to check the perimeter, I'm going to kill my little sister for planting that image in my brain.


        Luna looked at the two 'guards', both unicorns, both pale as would befit a royal guard, one placid, the other utterly terrified.

        "Lady Rarity, I would speak with you. Alone," Luna said and glared at Blueblood. The trembling prince cringed, but looked fearfully at Rarity.

        "Be a dear and hold the fort," Rarity said pleasantly, "We'll go off and chat over there." She gestured with a hoof at a copse of trees near the perimeter.

        The prince nodded enthusiastically.

        "How did you -?" Luna asked, of the seemingly transformed prince.

        "Oh, something I learned from Fluttershy, and the Big Guy. When you have their, undivided attention, their hearts and minds will follow."

        Luna nodded. "Do you want foals?" Luna blurted out.

        "Well this is quite sudden, but I'm certain that Celestia will preside and there are ample ponies for a proper train of bridesmares and groomstallions, maybe a few groomsmares as well, won't that be confusing," Rarity replied, her hoof under her chin.

        Luna stared at her for several moments. "That isn't what I meant."

        "Oh good, I don't think I'd make a proper stallion," Rarity assured her.

        Luna wasn't going to walk into that field of cowflops. "The Big Guy and me, was what I was referring to."

        "Do you think it wise to start a family with someone you cannot yet talk to?" Rarity asked carefully. "Fluttershy and Derpy seem to be able to make themselves understood, but that's natural talent. He can seem to be perfectly clear to me, and I'm still certain I'm missing a huge detail," she admitted. "Are you similarly afflicted/conflicted?"

        Luna nodded. "I think I'm going mad. I want to be there, but I know I shouldn't. But everyone tells that my fears are baseless. Yet, they are my fears, and I cannot understand the depths of these feelings."

        "You care, and you want," Rarity said, "I saw how deep and irrational those emotions can be. But you have friends to pull you back. I learned that too. I think what you really want, is foals, and friends, and a lover. But you want it all now. There's nothing wrong with wanting it, dreaming about it, and thinking how to get it now. But you have to understand that you may not be ready for it. And with the language barrier, that may be a major hurdle. And you haven't had a special somepony before, or haven't had in a long time. Wanting somepony as a thing is not love, although it feels like it. We all want things. People are sometimes very hard to love on their own terms."

        "So, I should stay away?" Luna asked, confused.

        "No, no." Rarity shook her head. "Go, but don't insist on the fulfillment of your dreams." She glanced back at Blueblood, standing off an officious functionary and denying the mandarin entry. "Your dreams must be shared, or they mean nothing, and are illusions."

        Luna nodded. "Thank you."

        The pair trotted back. The functionary saw them coming, froze, then trotted off.

        "Any trouble?" Rarity said sweetly.

        "I told him you'd be very cross," Blueblood said and puffed out his chest.

        "You think I'm scary, do you?" Rarity said crossly.

        Blueblood stammered out an apology and half a dozen conflicting explanations while Rarity's glare sharpened. Luna giggled and nosed into the tent.

        The interior was darkened, but she could see plainly. Two more normal guards blocked entry into the corner where Blueblood's private sanctum had been requisitioned. The guards acknowledged her presence, and took no further action.

        I wish they'd have at least tried to steer me away, she thought, Everypony seems to be pushing me towards this. Why am I the only one afraid? Even Celestia, for her different fears, pushed me onward.

        She stuck her head into the enclosure. They were laid out on the floor. His leg was elevated and had cold pack on the ankle. The foal, Dinky, looked like she had taken a massive bite out of his throat. The others somehow became aware of her presence and turned to look.

        Oh no, synchronized puppy dog eyes, Luna thought, And again, they aren't afraid the way I am. Lyra carefully extracted herself from his grip, offering the choice spot to her princess. Luna nodded and accepted the gift in spirit it was offered, and settled into the space left vacant. She noticed Lyra laid down behind her, back-to-back. So I can't escape, she thought suspiciously, then discarded the thought. But this close, with the reality before me. I don't feel the same. Perhaps having, isn't the same as wanting. She felt his arms slip around her and draw her close. Yes, I will settle for this, and that, she thought as let her magic find the injuries and speed the natural healing process.


        Lyra looked down at herself. It was bright, far brighter than it had been moments before when she'd closed her eyes. She was standing on two legs, with hands at the ends of her arms. She felt a strange tightness around her barrel and her hips. I'm wearing clothes, human clothes, she thought and her delight at the revelation of her new condition vanished as she realized she was fast asleep and she was likely dreaming all this.

        "Lyra?" came Derpy's voice, "I looked around, and I couldn't find Fluttershy, Trixie or Dinky." The equally humanized pegasus walked out of the darkness towards her. "I guess Luna will be here shortly."

        "You know it's me?" Lyra asked.

        "The shirt and slacks are the same color as your coat, and your hair is the same color as your mane, so I guessed."

        Lyra grinned. Simplistic, but straightforward, she thought.

        "The Princesses and Trixie had a similar event, remember?" Derpy said.

        Lyra nodded. "So much has happened since then. When it happened to them, it was Discord's doing, you don't suppose?" Lyra said.

        With the sound of a gong, the draconequus appeared. "Well, you passed the first two tests, are you ready for the penalty phase?"

        "Where's Dinky?" Derpy asked, self control muting her worry to a hint of concern in her voice.

        "All of you are fine," Discord said dismissively and waved the concern away, then sprayed it with something sweet-smelling from a can and stomped on it, "I'm in his head, remember? If I hurt your foal, there's literally no place to hide, and nothing he couldn't do to me. As you will see. I tried to bring you all, but only you two were in the right sleep state. Now to the penalty phase."

        "We'll fight you," Derpy said.

        "I think not," Discord said as he walked, the two ponies kept the same distance despite not moving, "You'll be far too busy." He faded from sight as the streets and buildings of Canterlot appeared. Briefly, an image of their pony forms appeared around their legs, but it vanished quickly. The images of Rarity, the Big Guy and Dinky did form and stayed solid. The two humanized ponies shrugged and followed the group as they walked.

        "This is his dream?" Derpy asked as they walked with the others.

        "I think so," Lyra replied as she tested her new body, how it bent, how it balanced, she stuck a finger in her mouth and felt the teeth. "But why isn't Luna here?" Lyra asked. Now Derpy shrugged.

        There was a commotion they were headed towards. Lyra heard pony voices, but couldn't pick out words. "It must be his dream, he doesn't know what they are saying, but he knows the sounds."

        Derpy nodded as she jogged ahead of the group the instant the Big Guy picked up speed. Her shocked gasp told Lyra all she needed to know as Lyra took up a defensive position at the tail of the 'convoy'. She felt the hair on the back of her neck standing up as she tried to watch in all directions.

        The cage was big. Lyra had seen similar cages for traveling wild animal shows and circuses. This one was one of a train. It had a few familiar forms. Oh no, oh no, oh no, Lyra thought of the disheveled filthy creature in one of the cages. It screamed, venting rage or demanding action, and it looked like the Big Guy, or it looked like a dark-haired version of Derpy or herself, as they currently appeared, A female.

        Most of the ponies shied away from the outburst, and the keeper who'd been 'encouraging' it to make noise, now was alarmed at the quantity. Lyra could also see the fear and calculation in the keeper's eyes. The keeper shouted at the Big Guy some warning. The Big Guy grinned at the burly earth pony and wiggled his fingers.

        The Big Guy faced the creature who was still shouting at him and the crowd. He touched his finger to his lips, then whistled something. The tune had a faintly martial tone, but the female stopped trying to assault the cage bars or tip over the wagon. She stared in amazement at the creature whistling. Around and behind him, ponies murmured in awe and confusion.

        If he'd punched her in the face she wouldn't have gone quiescent like that, Lyra thought as the Big Guy stepped past the stunned pony and close enough the female could have reached him, if she'd wanted.

        The female pointed at him, and clearly asked a question. Her tone was curious, rather than deferential, but she seemed to sense the huge weight that rested on the answer. The Big Guy actually blushed and replied with a single word. The female collapsed back on her haunches and began laughing, repeating the word over and over with a few embellishments. It was not a happy, joyous laugh, but a desperate laugh of one who'd watched hope drain through her fingers once again.

        The Big Guy looked at the keeper, pointed at the laughing/sobbing figure and held out a handful of bits. The keeper took a mulish stance and began pontificating. The Big Guy reached into a pouch on his hip and pulled out more bits. The keeper's tone lost some of its enthusiasm. Derpy stepped up and took the pile of bits in her hands. The Big Guy doubled the amount Derpy was carrying. The keeper stared at the pile of gold. The keeper was having trouble making coherent arguments, the pile of gold distracting him.

        Probably as much as the whole show makes in a month, Lyra thought, Not that I enjoy the idea that ponies can be bought like that. Or that we'd enslave one of the Big Guy's people like that. But this is his nightmare. What does this represent? That without a harem of mares, he'd fall the same way this female did? That Celestia's, and Luna's, hot and cold attitude means she'd condone this happening to him, and even might have preferred it?

        The keeper seemed to be wavering, so the Big Guy scooped up many of the bits Derpy was holding, and prepared to pour them back into the pouch, when the keeper reacted, indicating a few more would seal the deal. The Big Guy provided them. The female had moved up to the bars, watching the entire exchange intently. Her faint displeasure at being 'bought' faded as she considered she might soon be free.

        The keeper gave some vague warning as they proceeded towards the locked door. Lyra, Derpy and Rarity followed him closely. The Big Guy waited for the door to be opened and held out a hand. The female took it, acting every inch a queen stepping out of a carriage. Rarity gasped in amazement at the transformation.

        "I've seen that kind of change in him," Derpy said quietly, "But, are all his people so changeable? He can't understand us, so we can talk."

        "This is his nightmare, what is it about?" Lyra replied as the Big Guy bent down and spoke earnestly to Rarity. Lyra approached the female. She glanced at Lyra and shied away. "She still sees us as ponies."

        The Dinky dream image walked close and barked. "Woof! Woof!" Dinky shouted, panted like a dog and wagged her tail. The strange woman briefly smiled, like a shooting star. Her face brightened when she did.

        The Big Guy pointed to Rarity and said a word. The designer gave a welcoming smile. The female wasn't biting. She said the word, and point from Rarity to the Big Guy, then to him and Derpy, and Lyra. She said the word, pointed to herself and shook her head.

        We might be part of his group, but she isn't, not enough to trust on short notice. No, that's wrong, she accepts being part of his group, but she doesn't trust us out of his sight, Lyra thought. The Big Guy relented and asked Rarity to lead them.

        "I believe they are that changeable," Lyra said as the female leaned heavily on his arm as they walked after Rarity. Lyra took up a rearguard position so she could watch the keeper's expression.

        He's already thinking of stealing her back, Lyra realized, We'd better keep an eye on her. And we'd better get a message off to the Princesses. How many others like him are held across Equestria? Wait! This is a dream, his worries and fears. Is he afraid that they'll throw him in a cage, rather than simply kill him? Or is this fears he'll be alone forever? Despite it all being a dream, Lyra was developing a severe headache and a churning stomach.

        Rarity led them to a spa outside the palace. The female glanced at the place hatefully, but seemed to know to keep a civil tongue, even if no one, not even the Big Guy, could understand her. They could interpret tone. The entry into the spa with something that stank worse than a Diamond Dog was instantly smoothed over by Rarity. While Lyra couldn't understand what Rarity said, she was comprehensible to the other dream phantoms.

        The first major difference between the female and the Big Guy came when she was ushered into the bathing room, and the Big Guy made to leave. Her alarm cry was extremely clear, and no amount of reassurance would convince her that Rarity, Derpy, Dinky and Lyra could be trusted.

        Derpy broke the deadlock by dragging over a chair next to the bath tub and facing it away from the tub. She and the female insisted he stay in it. He shrugged and accepted their orders. The female seemed to accept the mailmare's presence, but unicorns seem to cause her some concerns. Rarity and Dinky decided to begin remedying this by taking up guard positions near the doors. Lyra would get whatever Derpy needed to help clean some of the caked filth off the female, but Lyra carefully did not directly approach, and moved back out of 'trigger range' as soon as she could. She received a grateful nod from the female when she realized Lyra was trying not to exacerbate her anxiety.

        They also had to drain the tub twice to get all the dirt off the poor woman.

        "She's kind of pretty, I'm guessing," Derpy said as he carefully wrapped her in a sheet after she dried off, "Not Rarity or Princess pretty, but like you or Twilight."

        "What's wrong with how you look?" Lyra asked.

        Derpy looked at her hands. "My eyes, and I get clumsy when I get too excited," she said shamefacedly.

        "Well, you haven't fallen over or done anything to him," Lyra pointed out.

        "He's . . . " Derpy searched for the word, "He's like the furniture, there, but, not a pony there. If that makes any sense. I should be afraid of him, or in awe or something. But he's just - there. Not expecting me to, to mess up," she said, "Just letting me be me."

        "I understand. The crazy, human-obsessed mare understands. Maybe he isn't human. Maybe he's something else. But he's real, and he's completely alien. So maybe if he isn't human, humans exist somewhere," Lyra said.

        Dinky was barking happily about something and hopping up and down. The Big Guy knelt down and spoke carefully, but the female looked askance at the overactive foal.

        Whatever he'd said seemed to calm the foal down enough she was not nettling the new member of the group. Dinky ran for where clothes had been located. The clothing was ill-fitting, but they were clean and soft. The woman seemed grateful for the attention.

        "She is rather pretty," Lyra said as she took up the rearguard, while Rarity led the group.

        "What insanity is this?!" came Luna's outraged tone. Only Lyra and Derpy seemed to hear her.

        "Excuse me, the alicorn formerly known as Nightmare Moon, this is a nightmare, and I didn't invite you because I thought you'd come on your own," Discord's peevish tone replied.

        Lyra looked at Derpy, who was also searching for the people speaking. The mailmare shook her head.

        She doesn't know either, Lyra thought.

        The group continued towards the palace. Lyra spotted several ponies who 'just happened' to be following them. Guards undercover, or people from the carnival? Lyra wondered as the group entered the palace. Rarity excused herself and tried to rush off. The Big Guy immediately took off after her. It was clear the fashionista wanted to answer the challenge of clothes, and the Big Guy realized that Rarity might be biting off more than she could chew. The newcomer followed them curiously, but seemed to understand that staying with the Big Guy was the safest course. So the column dashed through the palace like a parade of the mad.

        "OW!" Luna complained, still invisible. "Why didn't you warn me?"

        "What part of 'nothing I did changed things' was not comprehensible?" Discord commented.

        "People, people," a cultured voice interjected, "We've seen how this turns out. Can we at least coordinate so we don't have to watch him go through it again?"

        " 'Again?'" Derpy shouted as she looked around, "What's going to happen? What is going on?" Derpy's nervousness was compounded by the newcomer suddenly being wrapped in bed sheets, rather than the ill-fitting clothes she'd worn a few moments earlier. And rather than racing to Rarity's quarters, they were all standing in them.

        The rest of the group watched as Rarity sketched out a set of clothes clearly inspired by the book the Big Guy had lent her. The female stared in stunned shock at the diagrams. Rarity looked so apologetic, Lyra wanted to hug the poor mare. But she quickly recovered and diagramed the suit the Big Guy had worn to the party. The female approached cautiously and began gesturing for changes. Rarity was clearly in the zone as she extended the skirt, kept the heavy boots and the dress shirt, but bloused the sleeves. Lyra caught the Big Guy's grin as the pair worked out the design. Then Rarity instantly dragooned the Big Guy to do the measurements. Since he'd gone through it with Rarity.

        "I'm an idiot!" Derpy blurted out and raced from the room.

        Lyra looked at the confused others and shrugged. The others returned to diagraming the measurements that Rarity would need. The newcomer was getting overwhelmed by the actions of the others, and their automatic assumption that she'd understand it was for her benefit. She was glancing nervously at the people she couldn't talk to clearly.

        "It's all right," Lyra assured her, from just outside the 'activation' distance, "It's all right."

        The woman grimaced, then gestured her forward.

        "This is your fault," Discord announced, still out of sight, and only audible when shouting.

        "My fault?" came the unseen Luna's outraged reply.

        "I'm not the one who's forcing him to bottle everything up," Discord complained as Derpy returned carrying a few paper-wrapped parcels and a sheet rolled up over her shoulder.

        "Are they still arguing?" Derpy asked as she delivered parcels to the newcomer and extended the sheet so she had a privacy partition. Lyra took one corner to give wider coverage. The woman unwrapped the parcels. Inside were sets of the underwear that the Big Guy usually wore. With an emphatic shrug, the woman removed the wraps that had clothed her and put the underwear on. The mares lowered the sheet. The newcomer took on a rather 'cute' pose, but stuck out her tongue at the Big Guy, ruining the obvious purpose. It still made the Big Guy grin.

        Lyra filed that away for later examination.

        He began taking the measurements. The newcomer glaring at him as if challenging him to laugh, or blush as he reported the results to Rarity. He stayed as dispassionate as he often did. Lyra found the woman's piercing gaze falling on each of them. Lyra kept her expression impassive, but nodded. Derpy just grinned and waved back. The woman seemed vaguely disgusted by Derpy's reaction.

        But Derpy is not a unicorn, Lyra said.

        "Let me in!" Luna shouted. Lyra glanced around. When she looked back, Rarity had the slacks and blouse combination complete.

        Lyra shook her head. "When Luna or Discord try to break in, the universe jumps the tracks."

        "Of course, it's a dream," Derpy said and munched a muffin than hadn't been in the room moments before.

        Lyra sighed and chuckled. I'm thinking about this too much. If I want to concentrate on something, I should think about the cause of this. Discord has seen this, so he's dreaming the same approximate thing over and over. What is it? she wondered, Discord said the Big Guy had to bottle things up. This doesn't seem to be something that needs bottling up. Imprisonment? Imprisonment in Canterlot? I would have been screaming blue murder if they locked me up for no reason.

        The newcomer was wearing the combination and seemed very pleased with the fit and styling. She spoke to Rarity, and the fashionista demurely accepted, as if such work was to be expected. The warm feeling was shattered by Celestia's arrival. Both the Big Guy and the newcomer seemed ill-at-ease by the ruler's presence. Both were unfailingly polite, but they had a tension in them that not even Dinky and Rarity displayed. Her Highness seemed not to notice.

        Out of politeness, or is she not getting the signals? Lyra wondered as she let Rarity take the lead. Since none of the rest of them could understand Equestrian as spoken by the dream creatures.

        Satisfied, the princess left the group. Then everyone relaxed. Even Rarity, Lyra thought, Did she not bring up the circumstances? Or did her highness not care? Wait, it doesn't matter why. Without a lengthy explanation, he'll never know. If one was inclined to doubt her Highness' goodwill, it would be very suspicious she didn't react. But wouldn't she have other sources to investigate? Idiot, if she knew that, then she'd know the girl was in a cage. Auugh! I hate not understanding! I want to shake somebody until they talk straight. This must be what he lives with every day. You can guess by tone and expression, but they could be planning to slit your throat.

        The rest of the day became a blur as they collected their parcels and returned to Ponyville through the door in the side of the mountain. The newcomer seemed confused by the odd situation of passing through the door after Rarity tossed bolts of cloth to change the slightly muddy, splotchy colors into brilliantly single-hued cloth. Then the ponies walked through to no effect. The Big Guy had to walk back and forth through it several times before she'd follow.

        While Rarity took the cloth back into Ponyville, the rest of the group headed to the house. The newcomer was amazed at the size, the collections of books and trinkets, and the furnishings of the home. Lyra smiled at the woman chattered happily, opening cabinets, examining books. Then fell silent as she reverently opened a book. The war machine on the cover would barely have fit in the house. But the red star on the front drew the newcomer's attention. The man nodded, smiled, and disappeared deeper into the house, only to return with several books that elicited even more excitement.

        Lyra looked at Derpy and shrugged. "She doesn't speak his language either, but the books he gave Twilight are for her language."

        "Do any of their people have the same language?" Derpy asked.

        The next few days passed again in a dreamy blur. The woman initially slept in one of the other rooms, and was visited occasionally by one pony. Generally Derpy or Dinky, and sometime Sveti. The woman worked out some of the mathematics, and as she lost her worries about unicorns, started working happily with Twilight. While she was with the Big Guy, and his immediate 'family', she was smiles and tolerance. But on several occasions, Lyra or Derpy caught her quietly weeping. There were also the suspicious ponies who were occasionally spotted in Ponyville. They always fled with maddening success on being spotted or confronted. So nopony learned if they were from the Princess(es) or the carnival.

        The Big Guy also laid out that the woman was a soldier, a soldier of a country opposed to the Big Guy's. More heartbreaking, she was from a time when they were enemies, but her nation had collapsed almost a generation before he had left his home to come to Equestria.

        "Imagine, saved by an enemy, after the nation you'd sworn to protect has fallen," Lyra said to Derpy in one of the few times they weren't passive observers to the passage of time.

        "She seems to be coming around," Derpy said, "She's been working at Applejack's farm quite a lot. All the kids seem to love her."

        "I didn't see that," Lyra admitted, "But there are so many things going on. Like where is he going in such a hurry?" Lyra ran after him as he rushed out. Derpy followed, but paced him until she recognized the road he was jogging down. Then she raced ahead towards Sweet Apple Acres.

        When they arrived, nothing seemed amiss. Big Mac was in the fields, and Applejack was bucking some of the trees near the house. The Big Guy hailed them, but seemed fixated on the old barn. Derpy flew ahead, but a snarl from him warned her off. That brought Big Mac and Applejack into the equation. They put aside their tasks and headed towards the barn. Derpy risked a glance inside and immediately retreated.

        "No. No. No. No," the normally composed mare stammered as she backed away from the barn.

        He closed the door behind him. Applejack approached, clearly irritated at being warned off from her own barn. When she moved to open the door, Derpy tackled her. The mailmare shook her head. There was the sound of someone falling, but no cry after. Applejack moved up, but again Derpy interposed herself. Big Mac said something in a placating tone, but Derpy shook her head and held her ground.

        "Derpy, what's going on?" Lyra asked.

        "You can figure it out," she said quietly. The door bumped into her from behind and she pulled it open. The Big Guy was carrying the woman, a cloth over her face and neck. His face was expressionless as he wended his way through the ponies. Lyra glanced into the barn and she caught the heavy rope hanging from one of the support beams.

        "No," she whispered as she turned to run after him. Derpy was ahead of her, but she never reached him.


        Derpy looked at herself. She was no longer a two-leg, but back as a pony. Lyra, back as a pony, opened her eyes and shook her head.

        "Why would she hang herself?" Lyra gasped, "She cried, but she was happy," the unicorn added, "Or I thought she was."

        "That's what's been playing tonight," Discord angrily shouted at an equally angry Princess Luna, " 'Oh why don't you do something'," Discord said in falsetto. "Spirit of Chaos and Disharmony, remember? I'm supposed to inflict misery and confusion. Well, he's got a bumper crop and there's not a cursed thing I can do about it. I foolishly thought the Princess of Dreams might at least have a clue."

        "Discord," Princess Luna said warningly.

        "Oh don't 'Discord' me," Discord replied, "I've seen things in here that would send you and your sister screaming for your mommies!"

        "Because he did," a gray sphere that hovered off at a distance said.

        "It's starting, why can we go in and fix it?" Lyra asked, "Now that we know what to look for. Why didn't you warn us so we could prevent that?"

        "Because it wouldn't work," Discord said patiently, then returned to glaring at Luna.

        "Can someone tell me why she killed herself?" Derpy asked and looked at the others.

        "There was no 'she', those were both part of his personality," the gray sphere said reasonably, "Imagine a being who had both Pinkie Pie's and Big MacIntosh's mind and personality as their own. Not an average, not all one and none of the other switching back and forth, but an ever-changing mix."

        Derpy tried, then the world tilted over and went black.


        Luna watched the wall-eyed mailmare's eyes both stare straight ahead, then she fell over in a faint.

        "She took that better than I thought," 'Tom' said.

        "What you're describing is insane," Lyra complained.

        "Of course," Tom said, "That's the crux of the problem. He has realized that the animus, the logical/rational portion of his personality and soul can have free reign, but if the anima the passionate and creative side breaks out, he'll be punished. If not by the pony sisters, then their agents. He was thrown in prison for making a joke that ten-seconds of rational thought would have made clear. He can't become angry, or he'll be punished. The only answer is to suppress, to 'kill' that part of him."

        "But wouldn't that destroy him?" Lyra asked.

        "Congratulation on guessing the obvious," Discord said and clapped softly, "Care to put the recent behavior in context?"

        "He went looking for a fight to die in," Derpy said as she stood up again, "We have to do something."

        "Well, it seems your subjects are faster on the uptake than their princess," Discord said sardonically and glared at Luna, "You should be so proud. Now, anypony got an idea on how to fix it?"

        "I don't think a muffin will fix this," Derpy said and grinned, "Even one of my specials."

        "Who's -?" Lyra began, then looked at the furious princess and dropped the subject, "What does he need? Beat up something? Scream at someone?"

        Derpy looked around nervously. "Ah, could we look like that in a dream and we'd, uh, you know?" She blushed furiously and bowed her head. "I think we were kind of pretty, even if he only saw us as ponies."

        "He's a bit beyond the age where that kind of wrestling solves all the world's problems," Tom supplied, "But you may be on the right track. Encouraging the anima might be a good way to deal with it. Method is what's escaping us."

        "Maybe you should be a little less thin-skinned when he's trying to help," Discord told Luna.

        "That's it!" The Lunar Diarch charged, only to fall into a hole that appeared at her feet.

        "She can fly, you know," Luna heard Lyra pointed out as she fell.

        "There's slightly different laws here," Discord said darkly.

        So it began. Just knowledge, of his home world, and Luna couldn't stop it.

        Filly Luna landed from the ceiling, her wings tight against her and her legs folded under her. The small form shivered, but her eyes were wide open with pinpoint pupils.

        "Now do I have your attention?" Discord asked politely.

        Luna managed to raise her head and gave a single nod before going back to shivering.

        "What, do I want to know what?" Derpy asked as she approached and nuzzled the terrified filly.

        "That was just their weather, little Luna. I can show you what plate tectonics, the 40-year solar cycle, and eclipses where the moon gets between the sun and the Earth do. Would you like that?" Discord said menacingly.

        The filly shook her head.

        "Good, then let's get down to cases," Discord said happily, summoning the weirdest chair she'd ever seen for himself and couches for the ponies. Luna was draped with a blue blanket festooned with moon and sun symbols. Luna drew its enveloping warmth tightly around her. The floating rock, Tom, had a shirt that read 'I worked for the eye 20 years, and all I got was this crummy ring.'

        "So, after our latest outburst of violence," Discord began.

        "You mean the failed suicide attempt," Lyra said.

        "Ah, we have an 'Everyone' rating, no talk like that," Tom warned. When Lyra and Derpy stared, Tom added, "Think about that Dinky might overhear."

        The mares nodded.

        "Uh, we could, play with him," Derpy offered.

        Luna's reply was stopped by Discord's near-murderous glare at her.

        His tone to Derpy was pleasant and encouraging. "Please go on, I'm out of answers. Which is pretty frightening to me."

        "He liked looking after Dinky. I think he needs to get out to run and play," Derpy said then she bowed her head, "His injuries might make that hard."

        "I'm working on that," Luna said, and felt her body return to its adult form as she pushed the horrors of the planet he'd come from out of her mind. "How can they live there?" she asked quietly.

        "They do," Discord said, "Get past that and figure out how he's going to live here." Discord clapped his hand, they made a clapping sound, "I need them clear thinking, and after watching earthquakes, tsunamis and that little movie a few dozen times, I need a break from 'non-life affirming' Chaos."

        "Who are you talking to?" Derpy asked.

        Discord pointed. The mares stared.

        "Gotcha," Tom said.

        The mares grinned and went back to the matter at hand. "So just let him run and play with the kids. Could we arrange with Cheerilee . . . how is he going to communicate? Stick figures and sign language?" Lyra asked.

        "Sound," Derpy said, "He's got dictionaries, if they're like the big one in the library it's got all the sounds the letters make. That's one." Derpy looked at him. "Discord, what did he do? What is he like?"

        "He built machines as large as the towers of Canterlot, and fired them into space. No, I'm not joking," Tom said, "Flight. Perhaps, paper airplanes. He could sit and let the kids run around."

        "I like paper airplanes, but mine crash all the time," Derpy said cheerfully.

        "That's just one day," Luna said, "What about the rest."

        "We can't be structured," Discord pointed out, "That's why we're in this mess to begin with."

        Luna glared, but restrained herself.

        "Uh, what about throwing Pinkie a birthday party?" Lyra offered.

        "Pinkie already had a birthday party," Derpy replied.

        "But he doesn't know that," Lyra pointed out, "That'll let both sides have a hand in what he's doing."

        "You're corrupting them," Luna said.

        "I am teaching them a palatable form of chaos. Besides the 'pony-orderly' method worked out so well. You nearly lost one of your Element Bearers. Bravo," Discord said, this time the clap sounded like a flock of birds. "That's good, and since it's a surprise party, he has to conceal it."

        "You can tell him about it?" Derpy asked.

        "Yes, I can talk to him, and talk to you," Discord said.

        "Can you teach him to speak Equestrian?" Lyra asked.

        "Teach him, yes, enable him to do so, no," Discord said, "There are certain sounds he can't recreate properly. You should have heard some of the things he called Spackle even with Dinky coaching him. So, we have a surprise party for Pinkie Pie, and an outing with the kids. I think that may be a good start. A little looser hand on the reins, er, tiller may also help."

        "My joie de vivre is just fine," Luna recalled the earlier accusation.

        "Hmph," Discord replied, "Now you and Celestia wrassling in the middle of a field, I'd pay good money to watch."

        "What!? That was a private conversation!" Luna gasped and leapt off the couch.

        "Oh, so they shouldn't have heard, sorry, my mistake," Discord said.

        Luna found herself snuggled up against the subject.

        Dinky was brushing his hair with a hoof and whispering, "It's okay, just a bad dream. We're all here. It's okay, just a bad dream. It's okay. It's okay."

        The frightened noises he was making subsided and Dinky nuzzled him. "We all love you. We all want you to stay. We all want you happy."


Day 26

        Applebloom watched the royal chariots unload the golden apple trees. The gift from her Highness to the Apple family. The scent of the apple blossoms was better than anything Applebloom had ever smelled before.

        The faint cries of the Timberwolves attracted Applebloom's attention, but she turned and thought of a different item than the Everfree's apex predator and their howls of a few days earlier.


        "I thought mules were mulish," Lyra whispered to Dinky, who giggled. Breakfast had been hours ago, but since it was a day off, the group had lazed about after yesterday's events. Until several of them decided that they were going to get up and moving before lunch.

        Luna, again wearing her saddle, was nose to nose with the Big Guy, who was steadfastly refusing to climb onto her back. "You can hardly stand. You certainly can't walk," Luna growled, "Why do you have to be so stubborn?"

        "I don't think he wants to offend your royal dignity," Celestia said as she entered. The others could see a strangely quiescence Blueblood holding the tent flap open, displaying the morning sun nearly to its apex.

        Luna pawed the tent floor at her sister's reminder. "I don't care about that."

        "You don't?" Celestia sounded shocked, she rested a hoof on her chest. "Then why didn't you do this?" Celestia thrust her head between his legs and slipped him onto her back, catching him with her wings. She then galloped out of the tent with him hanging on for dear life.

        "I think I finally understand what Discord sees in him," Rainbow Dash said, then she raced after the Diarch.

        Derpy glanced over at Dinky. Mother and foal nodded. "Charge!" they shouted, Derpy scooped up Dinky and raced after Rainbow.

        Applejack nodded. "I gotta get back ta the farm," she said, "Charge!" She ran after the departed.

        "Well, it seems the fashion, Fluttershy. Charge!" Rarity said and ran after them.

        Fluttershy sighed and flew after her friends.

        "Sparkle, you'll catch more flies with that mouth if you run," Trixie said and dashed after the group.

        Twilight closed her gaping jaw. "It's this town," Twilight said, "Everypony who comes here is crazy." She held up a hoof. "Charge!" She teleported to catch up with the runners, then galloped alongside them.

        Blueblood looked at Luna and Lyra, who were staring open-mouthed at the spectacle. "Oh, ugh, well, charge," the unicorn let go of the tent flap and trotted after the gallopers.

        Sveti poked her head in the tent, then looked at the receding cloud of dust. "I'm not gonna ask, and I thought Pinkie was crazy," the griffon took to the air, caught up and passed the pinkie blur racing after the crowd.

        Lyra looked around and walked out of the tent.

        "Aren't you going to go running after them?" Luna asked.

        "I thought I'd be wild and crazy, and walk, Highness," Lyra said and walked after the group.

        Luna removed the bridle, and cantered after her sister and the others.

        One guardspony in particular had watched them closely, but one in a crowd hadn't alerted them.


        Celestia couldn't remember the last time she'd galloped. I've flown, if I wanted to move fast, but galloping, she thought happily, If the Canterlot nobles saw, or when they hear, so much tsk-tsking. But it will be worth it. Her wings and mane secured her rider, as he leaned down and let her have her head.

        Better to confront your fears, head on, she thought, He's still armed, my guards and allies are far behind. He has every opportunity to do whatever he wants. Yet, he just enjoys the ride.

        She pushed herself harder. Flight was faster, but the pounding of hooves on a solid road, the wind on her face and through her mane and tail exhilarated her. Better that someone whom her ponies valued trusted himself to her. Rainbow Dash and several of the pegasi caught up, but just grinned at the childlike enjoyment of the moment.

        They arrived at Sweet Apple Acres without incident. Celestia looked around nervously, as he slipped off her back and patted her side. She smiled at his friendly gesture. "I'll have to remember to thank the royal cobbler/smith for shoes that I can gallop in," she said to the pegasi who were arriving and taking up positions.

        "Good run, your Highness," Rainbow Dash said, "You should compete in the Sisterhooves Social. You and Luna would win every event."

        Celestia considered it. "I might just ask her to do that," she said.

        "Oh my gosh!" Applebloom squealed as she came around the corner of the barn. She bowed instantly and insistently to the Princess, dropping the toothbrush she'd been carrying.

        "Please, rise, Applebloom," Celestia urged, "What have you been doing this fine morning?"

        "Well," the filly said, suddenly looking extremely guilty, "The golden apple trees had blossoms. And the zap apples were blooming. So I kinda thought," she explained.

        The conclusion hit Celestia at the same time the blast wave did.


        The End.

        Discord laughed at the audience's outrage. "Gotcha! Oh you should see yourselves!"

        Tom would have rolled his eyes. "Very droll. But we should wake him up," the sphere said, "After all, you might be blamed for the events."

        "Killjoy," Discord said as he walked over to and steadfastly ignored the huge breaker painted red and labeled 'Do Not Touch Under ANY circumstances!' and flipped a much smaller unlabeled breaker beside it, counted to fifteen, and reversed the throw.

        Tom looked around worriedly. "We weren't in the Krell lab before, were we?"

        "Oh shut up and run!" Discord said as the door to the lab began glowing.


        "Ya can't go in there," Applejack told Applebloom as she dragged her away from the front door of their home.

        "But Granny Smith is still in there!" the filly squalled as she struggled in her sister's hooves.

        "And we barely got Big Mac out," Applejack said, "We gotta have faith in Twilight and the Princesses." Applejack shot the aforementioned ponies a pleading look. Celestia returned one of regal confidence.

        The stallion they'd managed to drag out of the front room lay under several blankets, shivering with cold and terror. The front room had been growing icicles when they dragged him out. While they were trying to help Big Mac, and console Applebloom, someone had stepped up to the door to peer inside.

        "Stop him!" Luna shouted.

        One guardspony raced to follow the Big Guy as he grabbed the edge of the doorframe and lowered himself sideways into the interior of the topsy-turvy house. Before anypony else could follow, there was the too-familiar grinding sound, and another room replaced the one facing and accessible to the front door.

        "What do we do now?" Shining Armor asked as he looked to his sovereigns, and his soldiers looked at him.

        "Check all the doors and windows," Celestia commanded, "Determine if you can see Granny Smith, the Big Guy or that guard in any of the rooms."

        Several pegasi looked at the upper windows. Fluttershy let out a shriek and raced for the horizon.

        "This may take some time," Twilight admitted to her Highness. She glanced over to the barn, that looked like parts of it had been turned inside out. Interior portions of walls and roof facing outward. She frowned at Prince Blueblood sitting in front of the wide-open door with a polo mallet in his teeth, tapping a polo ball into the barn, waiting a bit, then when it rolled out, tapping it back in.

        "You could be helping," Twilight accused as she approached.

        He tapped the ball back in, and turned to face her. "How, when the magical prodigy of the age and both Alicorn-sisters all ponder the problem together?" he cut off his remark to tap the ball back into the barn.

        The interior was just as chaotic as the outside. Wait, some of the pieces that are inside-out outside, aren't wrong-side-in in here! Twilight thought. Then Twilight looked through the barn at the erratic course the ball was taking. It wasn't rolling across the floor, but at a set point it seemed to jump through the air, changing course at predetermined points, until it hit the ground a few feet from the door and slowly rolled forward. What really frightened Twilight was the barn was completely empty, all the tools, sacks of grain and even the hay were deposited outside. And at the far end of the barn was another Prince Blueblood with a polo mallet, knocking around another polo ball.

        "Is that you?" Twilight asked and pointed.

        "Well he is gorgeous and cultured, I supposed," Blueblood said, "And he has the courtesy to return the ball if it gets stuck over there. So he could be me."

        Twilight stared and realized the other Blueblood's ball took an entirely different course through the barn, but still returned to its owner.

        "Nopony go into the house," Twilight shouted to Armor and the storming team that were assembling before the door.

        There was a familiar grinding sound from the house and barn.

        "Oh bother, just when we got a good rhythm going," Blueblood complained, then hammered the ball towards the far wall. Less than half way there, it leapt into the air, slowing dramatically, until it reached a certain point where it accelerated sideways. It ended up at the opposite Blueblood, who hammered the ball in to separate directions. Twilight watched both balls careening through the air, and saw the pattern not how the balls moved, but where in the air they changed direction. "OH dear," she said quietly.

        She galloped towards Applejack. "Excuse me," she apologized and grabbed Applejack's hat before galloping back to Blueblood. She put the hat on his head and watched through the barn door.

        "What intarnation's gotten into you Twilight?" Applejack demanded and glared at Blueblood, who concentrated on his polo practice.

        "This chapeau is revolting, return it to the farmpony immediately!" Blueblood sneered.

        "Shut up and watch!" Twilight thundered and pointed at the other Blueblood.

        The figure took a moment to snigger at his counterpart, before a pair of lavender forelegs reached down from above the door and dropped a similar hat on Blueblood's head.

        "What in, how do, is that, and Granny?" Applejack's eyes crossed, she let out a squeal and she collapsed.

        "Now can I give her back her hat?" Blueblood asked.

        Twilight facehooved and nodded.

        "Ridiculous," Blueblood said, returned to the game with the now-bareheaded opposite.

        Twilight left Applejack there and walked back to the princesses. "We have a bigger problem. The space inside the buildings is not exactly the same as the space outside, and there may be more than one such space mixed up in there."

        "Twilight, dear, for those of us without your unique vocabulary?" Rarity said as she trotted up.

        Twilight sketched out a small cube inside a larger one in the dirt and connected the apexes. "That's a tesseract, it's a representation of a fourth-dimensional cube in a two-dimensional space."

        A glowing three-dimensional representation appeared. Luna nodded. "It is also called a hypercube. Are you saying that the space inside the home and barn has been tesseracted?" Luna asked.

        "Worse, I think all the smaller sections are actually other Sweet Apple Acres, and they're all there inside the house, but they're still inside their own houses too," Twilight said, then grinned nervously at the uncomprehending faces.

        Luna glanced at Celestia. "That sounds like that doctor who you got rid of," Luna said.

        "Yes," Celestia said sourly.

        "I did that?" Applebloom asked worriedly, "What happens if we get the wrong Granny Smith? Do we know we got the right Big MacIntosh?"

        "I'm sure we did, child," Celestia said and nuzzled the foal. "But you should have told a grown-up before mixing the pollen of the golden apples with that of Zap apples."

        "Yes'm," Applebloom said despondently. She got a fierce expression. "I'll get Granny Smith out."

        "No, you won't," Luna ordered, then glanced around, "I hate to admit it, but the two best candidates to navigate this mess are inside already. If Discord can't navigate that chaos, no one can."

        Twilight groaned at that.

        "So how do we undo this knot?" Rarity asked, "No offense to your Highness' skill, but something like this cannot be untied with only one hoof."

        "How do we coordinate?" Armor asked as he approached.

        Twilight looked over her shoulder, and groaned again. "We tie a note to a polo ball."