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Dan_s Comments

Joined November 2012
345 followers

Story teller at heart.  I like to examine the unusual.  I spend too much time being 'reasonable'.  I write to play, and hope others enjoy the results.

Stories (9)

  • The Conversion Bureau - Kenny
    Twilight Sparkle tries to convince a strangely reticent human to undergo conversion. He has a secret that makes it impossible.

    3,100 words · 3,437 views · 197 likes · 13 dislikes
  • Hot Zone - Equestria
    Never addressed problems with 'going to Equestria', ones that could kill you or them.
    4,663 words · 1,287 views · 78 likes · 4 dislikes
  • Out of Place
    A human had seen Discord's defeat, how would he act in Equestria? Join the Mane 6 or bide his time? Also, Celestia must face Luna and the NLR, alone.
    105,553 words · 1,496 views · 109 likes · 9 dislikes
  • The Conversion Bureau - The Return of the King
    A take on [i]Humans Acting Villainously[/i]: Celestia has won, humanity and all they were has been consumed. But uneasy rests the tyrant's crown. The Newfoals remember things that go bump in the night, and now even Celestia must fear them.
    11,214 words · 783 views · 123 likes · 12 dislikes
  • Cultural Artifacts
    431,469 words · 23,345 views · 1,588 likes · 266 dislikes
  • The Conversion Bureau - Earth's New Masters
    3,081 words · 3,135 views · 136 likes · 17 dislikes
  • Sig Alert
    6,505 words · 1,251 views · 40 likes · 4 dislikes
  • Feghoot
    1,709 words · 322 views · 26 likes · 4 dislikes
  • Conversion Bureau - Through the Glass but Darkly
    5,017 words · 1,243 views · 45 likes · 16 dislikes

TVTropes page yay!A human arrives with a house in Ponyville.  The Mane Six, and Princess Luna must deal with this new arrival.  But not everyone agrees how it should be handled, not everyone agrees on what danger it represents, or the benefit it can be to Equestria.

The inhabitant must also deal with the new rules and conventions of this new world it knows nothing about, as well as the mystery of its appearance, and the incongruities of its arrival.

TVTropes page yay!

First Published
20th Dec 2012
Last Modified
25th May 2014

Comments ( 2,226 )

#1 · Chapter 1 · 84w, 17h ago · · ·

...woah... I like it.

#2 · Chapter 1 · 84w, 17h ago · 7 · ·

Commenting before going in

Sweet Jesus, this is huge for a first chapter.

EDIT:

Sweet Jesus, I want more.

#3 · Chapter 1 · 84w, 17h ago · · ·

Usually don't go for HIE but this is really intriguing. Tracking.

Yeah.... how do ponies have base 10 math? Shouldn't it be base 4?

#4 · Chapter 1 · 84w, 16h ago · 7 · ·

Sweet mother of Bermuda!

This is wonderful. Although you may want tone down AJ's accent a bit.

Make more of this.

#5 · Chapter 1 · 84w, 16h ago · · ·

More please!

#6 · Chapter 1 · 84w, 15h ago · · ·

Excellent so far. Are the long chapters temporary or will this length be standard?

#7 · Chapter 1 · 84w, 15h ago · · ·

Holy fuck this is amazing.

I feel like part of my mind is still flying somewhere in the americas.:pinkiehappy:

#8 · Chapter 1 · 84w, 15h ago · · ·

Impressive, really impressive:ajsmug:. I hope you plan to keep on writing because this is perfect.

#9 · Chapter 1 · 84w, 15h ago · · ·

I think I broke the thumbs up button, this is definitely going to have my attention for the foreseeable future.

This story made me go back and watch fantasia. Thanks for the trip down memory lane.

#10 · Chapter 1 · 84w, 15h ago · 1 · ·

14.5k words on chapter one alone? and marked incomplete? seems interesting already so I'm going to track

#11 · Chapter 1 · 84w, 15h ago · · ·

*Claps hands* Pretty dam good can't wait for the next chapter

#12 · Chapter 1 · 84w, 15h ago · · ·

holy moley. A realistic approach to an alien world.

Love it so far, please, more.

#13 · Chapter 1 · 84w, 14h ago · · ·

>>1832435 Oh, god, I hope the chapter length will be standard! This is an awesome story, and I can't wait to see where it goes!

#14 · Chapter 1 · 84w, 14h ago · · ·

Beautiful!

#15 · Chapter 1 · 84w, 14h ago · · ·

This is good stuff! - Please, keep it coming! :pinkiehappy:

#16 · Chapter 1 · 84w, 14h ago · · ·

This is really, really well done.

Please keep it up

#17 · Chapter 1 · 84w, 14h ago · · ·

Hmm.

I'll follow this. :moustache:

#18 · Chapter 1 · 84w, 14h ago · · ·

this is so awesome

#19 · Chapter 1 · 84w, 14h ago · · ·

Dayum...I can't wait for more.

#20 · Chapter 1 · 84w, 14h ago · · ·

Very good. But what exactly did he play for Twilight? Just some classical music? I would have thought it would take something more like this music video to break a pony's mind.

I hope you write more!

#21 · Chapter 1 · 84w, 13h ago · 1 · ·

I hesitate to trust in the potential hope I have for this fiction.  Seems like a mere cultural and lingual barrier, but ye gods I hope not.

>>1832919

You've never watched fantasia?  Firebird suite depicts how Scotland was created.

#22 · Chapter 1 · 84w, 13h ago · · ·

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X9_n8jakvWU :twilightsmile:

#23 · Chapter 1 · 84w, 13h ago · · ·

"All those books, and I can't read them."

I laughed :D

#24 · Chapter 1 · 84w, 13h ago · 1 · ·

>>1832744 Indeed. I love stories with long chapters.

#25 · Chapter 1 · 84w, 13h ago · · ·

I can't help but to say that this is starting out to be a really cute story. Not only that but what I'm seeing is that just like the show it's going to have a big lesson and moral. The 'foal sitting' part was just really heart warming. Please keep it up^^ you have caught my attention. :twilightsmile:

#26 · Chapter 1 · 84w, 13h ago · 1 · ·

SWEET JESUS' RIPPLING PECTORALS, THAT WAS AWESOME!

#27 · Chapter 1 · 84w, 13h ago · 3 · ·

This was a little hard to follow.

#28 · Chapter 1 · 84w, 13h ago · · ·

:flutterrage: MOAR!!!

#29 · Chapter 1 · 84w, 12h ago · · ·

I'm really digging this more realistic style of HiE. That language barrier is gonna be a serious bitch though.

#30 · Chapter 1 · 84w, 12h ago · · ·

Yeah, I'm hooked.

Only trouble is that we will have to wait for quite a long while for an update, if this is standard chapter length.

#31 · Chapter 1 · 84w, 12h ago · 7 · 2 ·

>>1832035 - Yeah.... how do ponies have base 10 math? Shouldn't it be base 4?

The humans who gave us minutes and seconds had base-60, so there is historical precident.

Yes, 20+ pages is what I am aiming at for each chapter.  Unfortunately that will slow down how often the chapters come out.

>>1832509 - This story made me go back and watch fantasia. Thanks for the trip down memory lane.

You're welcome.  It seemed an appropriate way to communicate.

>>1832919 - But what exactly did he play for Twilight?

A Night on Bald Mountain/Ave Maria

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YrM643eYPc0

Fantasia 2000 - Beethoven's symphony (N. 5)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sqd_dfR9WSM

Fantasia 2000 - Firebird

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2XGRmaiCpPU

Now imagine you've never heard of cartoons, and these cartoons look more like Twilight's actual world that the monster's home.  In all three, there would be a huge horror factor, and although the forces of light and rebirth prevail, there's nothing comical or hammy about any of the villians.  And in the Firebird, the destructive force appears to have won, utterly destroying the nymph's forest and the nymph herself.

There's also the message to Twilight that while she assumed she could just collect all the books and everything would be fine.  The above are her first encounter with the monster's 'library'. :twilightoops: She has no idea if these are historical records, abstract images, some of each, or what.  But these

beautiful, terrifying messages take her to different a plane of thought for a few brief moments.

And this is what the monster just happens to have lying around. :facehoof:

'Nemo me impune lacessit' indeed.  (No one provokes me with impunity).

>>1832919 - I hesitate to trust in the potential hope I have for this fiction.  Seems like a mere

cultural and lingual barrier, but ye gods I hope not.

I'm not quite sure what you mean, but the barriers you mention are only two of several that will have to be overcome.  Remember, this is no brony, 'the monster' has no more idea how the Equestrian world works than a rock does.  Luna has intentionally limited what he's seen, and unconsciously, so has Twilight.

>>1833206 - I can't help but to say that this is starting out to be a really cute story. Not only that but what I'm seeing is that just like the show it's going to have a big lesson and moral. The 'foal sitting' part was just really heart warming. Please keep it up^^ you have caught my attention. :derpyderp1:

Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it.  And yes, I'm through beating up Twilight.  She learned her lesson.  With a little help from Spike, she'll turn things around.

>>1833251 - That language barrier is gonna be a serious bitch though.

But that's half the fun! :raritydespair:

#32 · Chapter 1 · 84w, 12h ago · · ·

>>1833374

Well, what I'm hoping for a little from a story (any story really) is a society where the common values of a normal human would be at least partially incompatible in a significant way with the values of the entirely new species (ponies), like What Separates.  Most stories have just assume that the ponies are more or less pony-shaped-humans that can eat hay which isn't bad persay, but it gets obnoxious that the fandom seems convinced that that's the only possible way to portray a species totally separate from our own.

#33 · Chapter 1 · 84w, 12h ago · · ·

Oh wow this was really good, I really like the comparison of humans in the firebird to the volcano (im guessing that was twilight was referring to humanity as.) Definitely a much more detailed and well thought at way of introducing human concepts to what would still be an alien world. Also big plus on language barrier so few authors try it, yet your doing great job on the slow learning process of language. Definitely going to my favorites list.

#34 · Chapter 1 · 84w, 11h ago · · ·

>>1833374 >>1833015 :rainbowderp: Woah yeah, I see what you mean now. I've never seen that movie and when I saw the song titles mentioned in the story I did a quick search and the first thing I found was this so I dismissed the rest as just 'random classical songs.'

I guess I'll download and watch Fantasia now. :twilightsheepish:

#35 · Chapter 1 · 84w, 11h ago · · ·

This is great, loved the idea of using fantasia to break cultural barriers.

#36 · Chapter 1 · 84w, 11h ago · 2 · ·

Very interesting, and a nice big chapter to get things really started. We know the premise, the military caution, and the general set of rules that we are playing by. I really like this a lot! I'mma follow it. :pinkiehappy:

#37 · Chapter 1 · 84w, 11h ago · 3 · 3 ·
#38 · Chapter 1 · 84w, 11h ago · · ·

That story was unexpectedly good. (the synopsis/small intro is so small, doesnt do the story justice)

You have my full attention.

Im a bit surprised at how wary ponies are, especially considering how the human shows time and time again that he's only a limited (yet able) threat. Plus, the whole bit about not killing Pinky after she bit him after she invaded, and taking care of a kid twice just because he could, generally being pretty obviously nice and going out of his way to be tolerant.

I like how the whole story is smart. I like smart. Especially smart coming from the princesses, they got a LOT of life/politic/ect experience and it gotta show.

However, the guards (shining and luna) actions are reactions confuse me (i guess i misunderstand some of their conversations), its like they want him dead, make weird plans, weird speech about hate. Are they joking or not? I think i'll need to re-read it to understand properly.

Ponies have crew-served weapons? What kind of weapons? Catapults? Balistas? Primitive (non-party) cannons? That one bit.. why would they have these? they got  effective flying troops (that can take on dragons) and lots and lots of magic. I don't think they would be that advanced in basic military tech, the threat of godesses blowing you up, backed by legions of mages and flyers is one heck of a deterrent.

Fav'd and upvote. Keep it up!

#39 · Chapter 1 · 84w, 11h ago · · ·

this is the only..and i have read hundreds of fics  the only one that i really want to have more of i love the hunman in this story and you did not go out of your want to write twilight like everybody else does BEST THING EVER  i do hope this is not a one time only thing..if it is im goin to be mad ....

#40 · Chapter 1 · 84w, 10h ago · · ·

All I can say to Pinky Pie is; If at first you don't succeed.......get a bigger party cannon! :pinkiehappy:

#41 · Chapter 1 · 84w, 10h ago · · ·

interesting... most interesting.

I shall be watching this... of course im wondering a bit about this guys background if he's got live weapons and didn't seem to flinch when he killed something. over all though I'd say it's a pretty good tale and one that im going to keep following

#42 · Chapter 1 · 84w, 10h ago · 1 · ·

Not understanding the Equestrian dialogue? OMG a new type of HiE. This is amazing! Please keep going, I can't wait for another chapter.:pinkiesmile:

#43 · Chapter 1 · 84w, 9h ago · · ·

I like <3

#44 · Chapter 1 · 84w, 9h ago · · ·

Okay, what is with the skuller nonsense... I googled the crap out of it and came up with nothing making any sense so throw me a bone and tell me!

Also, this is the first Fanfic I have seen involving a language barrier because they talk like horses. Oh, and good job.

#45 · Chapter 1 · 84w, 9h ago · · ·

you now have my rapt attention

one point of comment is you seem to repeat some, I'll say ideas, it made me wonder if I was rereading the same paragraph again.

other than that ponies being silly cute, and human being awesome so all's good.

#46 · Chapter 1 · 84w, 9h ago · · ·

This... is.... AWESOME!!! :pinkiehappy:

And urgently asks for more. :flutterrage:

#47 · Chapter 1 · 84w, 9h ago · · ·

You know, I would love to see what will happen if the Ponies get to see the BBC's Hiroshima documentary translated.

It had re-enacted historical parts, and the sight of a man being burned away to shadow, a city burning away, a child crying as he is buried in the rubble, a doctor being thrown like a toy while he is a great distance away, surviving because you work in a bank...The Black Rain...hmm...he seems to have a large media library...even the History Channel's mini series and other things. A episode of Shootout from the earlier 2000s.

Plus given his large book library, he might have electronic library stuff too. Is the internet still hooked up?

I need to think more...for now, I am going to go see Lincoln or the Hobbit. Be back with a more detailed review.

#48 · Chapter 1 · 84w, 9h ago · · ·

Absolutely fantastic.

#49 · Chapter 1 · 84w, 9h ago · · ·

I would just like to say I loved every moment of it and was so happy that it just kept going. When it did end I thought it ended at a great spot, leaving us to expect more but not making it a cliff hanger. I look forward to seeing what comes of this and will wait patiently for it to come. In short ~woohoo you rock

#50 · Chapter 1 · 84w, 8h ago · 1 · ·

A HiE story with language barrier? About time.

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