//------------------------------// // Thirteen // Story: Hands // by Andrew Joshua Talon //------------------------------// Hands A My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction By Andrew J. Talon DISCLAIMER: This is a non-profit fanbased work of prose. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is the property of Hasbro, and the reinvention of the lovely Lauren Faust. No copyright infringement is intended, please support the official release. - - - - - - I entered Smokestack's shop with the caution of one who has nearly met his end at the hooves of the Cutie Mark Crusaders more than once. I peered in through the door, opened just enough to let me see inside. Looking around carefully, I saw no mane nor tail of the three Horses of the Apocalypse. "Ah, you're here," Smokestack said, reading through a newspaper while smoke puffed from his pipe. He looked over the headlines at me as I walked inside. "Armor fit okay?" "Uh, yeah," I said. Fluttershy trotted in behind me with a smile of her own. "I just wanted to thank you and-" "And ask when in tarnation I got your measurements?" Smokestack asked. "Miss Rarity." He grinned. "That pony don't miss a beat, especially when it comes to figuring out your proportions." I wasn't sure if there was innuendo or not in Smokestack's suggestion, but given Fluttershy didn't break out into a blush I decided to go with the interpretation there wasn't. Besides, I didn't want to consider the idea that Rarity would break Spike's heart. Not her. "Well, thanks," I said. "I'm going to go thank her too-" "Before you do," Smokestack said, moving out from behind his counter and heading to a work bench, "got another surprise for you." "A helmet?" Fluttershy suggested. "Nah, haven't finished it yet," Smokestack said, "though with his head he'd be fine without." Fluttershy giggled, and then gave me an apologetic look as I scowled. I sighed. "Beat up on the Human day? Didn't know that was a holiday around here." "Ain't a holiday if it's every day," Smokestack said wryly. I winced. It was like I was wearing a bull's eye. "Ah! Here we go," Smokestack said, trotting back up to me with a wrapped package in between his teeth. He lifted it up to me, and I took it in my hands. "Open it." I did so, and blinked. "Woah..." It was a sword wrapped in a scabbard made of what looked like leather (but was probably a faux version of it-It'd be a bit like that human skin lamp in Silence of the Lambs). I pulled it out and examined it. It was short, only about two and a half feet long, and shaped like a Roman gladius. "Your little dinky knife isn't much good," Smokestack said, "so I made you a bigger knife." "Well, thanks!" I said with a smile, resheathing it. I tied it off to my belt, still grinning. Smokestack snorted, and looked over at Fluttershy. "Keep an eye on him though. He gets into enough trouble with things that ain't sharp and you and Miss Sparkle are too young to be widows." Fluttershy blushed bright red, and I was the same way. "Wh-What are you talking about?" Fluttershy laughed nervously. "We don't-That is-!" "It's not like that!" I insisted, holding my hands up. Smokestack huffed. "Whatever. Just don't get killed, I don't like having to make handles for coffins," he said, trotting off. Fluttershy and I looked at each other, before we departed the shop. The door shut behind us, and Fluttershy sighed. "How... How many ponies do you think know about... Um... Our situation?" Fluttershy asked. If there was one thing this world had in abundance over my own, it was dramatic irony. The Mayor and Mr. and Mrs. Cake trotted by, the former giving us a smile. "Don't worry, Shepard and Fluttershy! We support you!" She said with a friendly and knowing wink that sent a shudder down my spine. "We uh, have to stick together after all, heheh," Mr. Cake said with a little grin as Mrs. Cake giggled. They trotted off together, and we stared after them. Fluttershy's face was glowing in her blush. "Um... Er... Ah... Oh my..." I twitched. "... Let's go back to the library." "But aren't we going to thank Rarity-" "I'll send her a card let's just get back to the library." - - - - - - - - Disturbing revelations aside, Fluttershy and I made it back to the library just as the sun was getting low in the sky. But when we walked in through the library doors, we were surprised to see that Twilight and Spike were already back. Both of them were poring through books, Twilight perusing them rapidly and then setting them aside and Spike flipping through them and tossing them when he was done. "Hey Twilight, hey Spike," I said. Twilight and Spike looked up. My marefriend smiled at me... And her smile held, though a bit uncertainly, as she saw Fluttershy. "Oh, hi Andrew, hi Fluttershy," she said. Fluttershy smiled back, but there was a definite tension in it. "Hello Spike, Twilight..." I looked between the two mares I deeply cared for, maybe even loved, and mentally sighed. "So, what's up?" I asked Twilight. I looked to Spike, who was rolling his eyes at our tension. "Enjoy yourselves?" "It was all right," Spike said. "We're just looking for information about, ya know, dragons." He turned his eyes back to the book, quickly reading through it before tossing it with a scowl. "Yes. Spike is a bit interested in his origins," Twilight said. Spike shot Twilight a look, and Fluttershy coughed. "Um... Could we help?" She asked. "Well, it might go faster with a few eyes, but what about your thing with dragons?" Twilight asked with more than a little tension. Fluttershy tapped her hooves together, but held her ground. "Well... Books of dragons wouldn't give me any trouble," Fluttershy said. "And I'm sure that... That I can be just as much help to Spike as you." Twilight narrowed her eyes. "Oh? You can?" Fluttershy startled at the change in Twilight's tone, but narrowed her eyes back. "Certainly..." I coughed, and looked between the two of them. "... Uhh... I was going to go thank Rarity for the suit of armor-" "Oh yes! I noticed that, it looks great on you!" Twilight said cheerfully. She was at my side in an instant. "Lavender is a very nice color! I mean, you practically match me!" "Actually, it's more purple," Fluttershy said. "Um, I mean, they are off of Spike when he was in his big form..." "What?!" Spike gasped. "You mean you're wearing my skin?!" "Take it as a compliment, Puff," I said flatly, tugging on the armor. "Looks better on me than it ever did you." "Oh yeah? It makes you look like a big, scaly grape!" Spike growled back. "Takes one to know one!" I shot back, bending down to glare right into his eyes. Spike snorted. "I'm not squishy on the inside like you, ya big stupid monkey!" "Big talk from a bipedal salamander!" "Big talk from a bipedal ape!" "Apes are bipedal and I'm not an ape!" "Yeah you are! A stupid hairless monkey!" "Monkeys aren't apes!" "It's an insult! It doesn't have to make sense!" Spike shouted. "Yes it does!" "Does not!" Behind us, Fluttershy and Twilight looked at eachother. My marefriend sighed and chuckled a bit. "Funny huh? Them fighting over nothing," Twilight said. Fluttershy laughed, just as nervous. "Hahaha... Oh... Yes... Nothing," she said. They continued to stare at each other. Unfortunately I chose to ignore this in favor of the far less awkward option of arguing with Spike. Looking back, I was pretty much begging for a situation where I would have to man up or shut up. But I am the kind of guy who requires a brick thrown at my head from God to snap myself out of my funks, so it really isn't that surprising that I would later get a proverbial brick slamming into my head. And by brick, I mean dragons. Big, scary dragons. - - - - - - - The hike up the volcano side was arduous, and I felt sweat pouring down my brow. I breathed hard in my helmet, and sucked on the nearby straw for another bit of precious drinking water. My thirst was only moderately relieved, but it was enough that I could at least maintain my focus on the ascent. The helmet over my head was in the shape of a dragon's head, with black mesh cloth over my face to disguise my face as nothing but still allow me to see. On my back, glittery wings had been bolted. A cheap looking tail which housed my water swung behind me, clanking a bit. And my gloves now had claws. From a distance, or to a particularly stupid person, I would look nothing less than a man-sized dragon. And I was thankful for that. Above me, dragons flew. Hundreds of them, of all shapes and sizes. They were circling, coming in for a landing in what I presumed was the volcanic crater, or moving on in the great stream of flying reptiles for their breeding grounds. I was strangely reminded of the vast flocks of geese back home that would fly over my house, bound for a nearby lake during their great migrations. Both sights were breathtaking, beautiful in their own ways. It's just that geese are far less likely to eat or barbecue you if you got too close. "Grr..." I growled, pulling myself over another boulder. The ascent up the volcano was ending, I hoped. Unlike the mountains I'd climbed in Colorado, there weren't a lot of false summits to raise your spirits and then dash them. It was all just one big, long hike, scrambling up in a heavy suit of armor modified to make me at least resemble a man-sized dragon. Confused? Let me back up for a moment... - - - - - - After Twilight had separated us, Spike and myself joined her and Fluttershy in researching dragons. Throughout the night we had read, through volume after volume. Nothing on what it meant to be a dragon. Nothing on dragon behavior. Not much on dragons period, save for anatomy, habits, and several warnings of "Do Not Mess With". I turned my tired eyes up to the windows, and found myself unsurprised it was morning. I looked over at Twilight, who was still reading despite her hair being a mess and her eyes heavy. A fearsome glance over at Fluttershy, who was in the same state but determinedly still reading, let me know just why the research had gone on so long. I mentally sighed, and looked over at Spike. He too was still reading, though at least the reasons for him doing so were less likely to cause me trouble. Oh, how I miss those naive days of youth... "Good morning~!" Cried a familiar voice. We all looked up to see Rarity enter the library, along with Applejack, Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie. "Eh? What's with you guys? Reading slumber party?" Rainbow Dash asked. "No," Twilight said, barely containing a yawn. "We've been researching dragons for Spike," Fluttershy said, also yawning deeply. "But we haven't found anything," Spike said. Rarity tutted, and trotted up to Spike. She nuzzled the young dragon, which much to my surprise didn't elicit so much as a blush. "Now Spike, there's absolutely no reason to fret!" Rarity said kindly. "You're just fine the way you are! A cutesy, wootsy little Spike-Wikey~..." Spike sighed heavily. "But... What if that's not what I want to be?" "Well, how are you going to find that out?" Pinkie Pie asked. "It's not like you could just go on the Great Dragon Migration!" Pinkie rubbed her chin and hummed. She then smiled. "Oh yeah! It totally is like that!" "That's a great idea!" Spike said with a grin. Rainbow Dash snorted. "Woah woah woah! Hang on Spike! Don't you have to be able to, ya know, fly to migrate?" "I have to get there somehow," Spike said, clenching his fist. Twilight smiled. "Well then, we can just go with you!" She said. She glanced in my direction, and I nodded. "Yeah. That's not a problem," I said, trying very hard not to think about all the fire breathing dragons that would be waiting to gobble us up. That doesn't tend to help. "I-I'd love to go too!" Fluttershy said. "Me too!" "Yeah!" The other mares all volunteered as well. Spike shook his head. "No," Spike said. "Thanks, but no. This is something I've got to do on my own. To find out where I fit in. I mean, I'm the only dragon in Ponyville. How am I supposed to find out how a dragon is supposed to be here?" He looked at me quite seriously. "I've never had anyone to show me how to be a dragon... And if I don't find out on my own..." I felt a tug on my heart as I realized I understood him perfectly. I slowly nodded. "Spike, it could be dangerous!" Rarity said. "It will be dangerous," Applejack deadpanned. "Most dragons ain't nowhere near as nice as you!" "Maybe," Spike said, a determined look on his face. "But I need to find out for myself." He packed up a few things in a backpack, and made for the door. Pinkie Pie moved out of the way, and he strode off for the mountains. Twilight sighed, and shook her head. Dashlooked between us, scowling. "You're just letting him go?" Dash asked incredulously. "It's what he wants," Twilight said. I nodded in turn. "Sometimes a man has to do what a man has to do," I said. At the stares I got from the others, I coughed. "Or dragon, in this case." "But letting him go off alone like that!" Rarity wailed. Twilight smiled. "Don't worry... He won't be going alone. He'll just think he's going alone. We're going to follow him!" "Um, but Twilight, Spike is a dragon. We're ponies. Those are dragons, dragons," Fluttershy said. "They might welcome him but they most certainly will not welcome us!" Twilight's smile changed tone as she looked up at me. "Not unless we have our own dragon." I stared at her in dawning, horrified comprehension. The rest of the mares figured it out, Fluttershy announcing her realization with a gasp. "No," I said flatly. "Um..." Fluttershy tried. "Come on Andrew!" Twilight pleaded. "Spike will need our help!" "Er..." She tried again. "And he's a dragon going among dragons," I said flatly. "How much help could he need?" "Excuse me..." "Andrew, please," Rarity begged, holding her hooves together. "My Spikey-Wikey could use your help, and you've already got most of a disguise done!" She rubbed her chin in thought. "And I could easily make a complete one, I've got everything I need back at the shop..." "No, no, no, NO!" Fluttershy finally broke, shocking everypony. "You're not sending Andrew into a den of horrible, mean, nasty, meat eating fire breathing dragons!" "Yeah!" Dash said. She grinned. "Not without backup!" "Not even with backup!" Fluttershy practically shrieked. "You can't send him, you just can't!" "We'll be with him every step of the way, ready to intervene!" Twilight said. She looked to me imploringly. "Please Andrew? I know you don't want to let Spike go alone any more than I do..." I grumbled, looked to the side... And sighed. She was right. I slowly turned my head. "All right," I said, trying to ignore Fluttershy's pale expression. "But I swear to God, I had better not be going in purple," I stated, indicating my armor. "Of course you won't just be going around in purple!" Rarity said with a laugh. "Why, just purple would be absurd!" I nodded. "Good." - - - - - - I sighed and reached up to check the fins on my dragon helmet. My neon green fins. "Double dealing no good deceiving pony temptress..." I muttered. "What was that? Andrew, repeat, over? I couldn't hear you," came Twilight's voice over the magic headset in the helmet. She was safely far away with the others in a hot air balloon. I sighed. "Nothing dear," I said flatly. I grunted and pulled myself up, climbing again. Higher, higher, and higher I went. The lip of the crater came into view, and with a last grunt of exertion, I yanked myself up. I finally cleared the lip of the volcano crater, and peered down. I gaped in disbelief. Dragons. Hundreds of them of all sizes, colors and shapes littered the volcanic crater. And Spike was headed for a rowdy, rambunctious group of them. I sighed. "Dragons... Why'd it have to be dragons?" I muttered. Resigned, I started on my way down. - - - - - - - As I descended into the volcanic crater, I found myself analyzing the layout of the dragons themselves. Being a professional anthropologist/archaeologist... Well, qualified anthropologist/archaeologist anyway (Professional meaning I got paid regularly for it), I couldn't help but try to understand the complex social interactions going on here. I was basically in unknown territory-Literally seeing dragons, and close enough to get an idea of their social life. I felt a bit like Jane Goodall, or Daniel Jackson from SG-1. Hopefully I wouldn't be dying repeatedly like the latter. Or even once. Once would be bad. The biggest dragons  laid on the edges of the crater, finding outcrops of rock to rest upon or just sitting on beds of volcanic ash ringing the crater. On the wide plain that formed the interior of the crater were dragons that got no bigger than an elephant. Dragons in between these sizes, I noted, were circling overhead along with a few in the larger size range. The majority of the dragons though were flying still ever southward, so I gathered this volcano was simply a rest stop before the next leg of the journey. A dragon turned its eyes to me as I passed it, and I hesitated for a moment. "Andrew, you okay? You've stopped moving," Twilight said. "A dragon... It's looking at me," I muttered. "Just don't make eye contact," Fluttershy suggested. "Just don't look it in the eyes, keep walking, and it will leave you alone... Probably." "Probably?!" I hissed. "Do it!" Dash shouted. I looked away and kept my eyes straight ahead. "Try to walk more like... Like a bear," Fluttershy said, a tremble in her voice. "Remember, you're a hulking dragon. You lean forward and leer when you walk, because you're a horrible flesh eating monster!" "I can't leer, my face doesn't move," I said flatly. Nevertheless I focused on changing my walk, bunching up my shoulders and leaning forward. I could feel the eyes of the great reptile for a few seconds more, before it looked elsewhere. I let out a sigh of relief and kept going, my eyes on the tiny purple form of Spike among a group of dragons no taller than me nearby a lava pit. They surrounded Spike, leering and laughing and shoving each other. It was very familiar for some reason... "Hahaha! Well well, lookit the runt!" A red dragon laughed abrasively as I got within earshot. "I’m Garble!” He said, pounding his armored chest. “What's yer name, twerp?" "Uh, Sp-Spike!" "What? Who is that?" Rarity asked. "Is he talking about my Spikey-Wikey?!" "And where are you from?" Garble asked. Spike smiled guilelessly, every part of him screaming “fresh meat”. “Ponyville!” The older dragons broke out into laughter, as Spike began to frown. That confused, helpless look on his face... The way the dragons were acting like position jockeying douchebags... Holy shit, I thought, these are teenaged dragons. Or at least the dragon equivalent. “What the hay? Spike’s run into bullies!” Dash growled. “Kick their tails!” “No!” I hissed. “Check it out guys! We’ve got ourselves a hybrid: half-pony, half-dragon!” Garbles laughed. Spike glared up at Garble. “Who, me? I'm not part pony! I'm all dragon, see? Raar!” Spike clawed at the air, quite ineffectually. “Or maybe you're a pony in a dragon costume,” Garble mocked. More laughter broke out, and I felt my hot sweat turn cold. I tried to look non-chalant, tried to be ignored... But Garbles looked up at me, looked down at Spike, and grinned. “Oho? And what’s this?” Garble grinned. “We got another half-pony here?” Spike looked over at me and gaped. Realization flooded his eyes, and I decided to ask myself a very important question: What would Batman do? I stalked right up to Garbles, cracked my heck (thankful the helmet allowed me to do that), reared back and punched him right in the nose. “GWARGH?!” Garbles stepped back, off balance. I charged and checked him, hockey style, right into the lava pit. I turned to face the stunned dragons as Garbles sputtered, and I growled. “Any one else want to crack jokes about dragons from Ponyville?” I snarled. I looked around, hoping the Power Rangers-like helmet I wore would be at least a little intimidating. As I wasn’t being burnt alive I gathered it was succeeding. “Who in the name of the Pit are you?!” Garble demanded as he clawed his way out of the lava pit. “I’m... Smaug,” I said, as Garbles loomed up over me, the heat radiating from the lava still clinging to his skin. I was sweating like crazy-It was probably only thanks to the dragon hide that I wasn’t bursting into flame already. “Smaug the Dragon. Spike is my little brother.” Garble glared at me for a while more, and I thought I was about to get a face full of fire. He then grinned and laughed. “So! Ponyville dragons have got some sacs, eh? All right!” He turned to the other dragons. “Let’s welcome Smaug and Spike!” The other dragons blew fire and cheered, and I felt my tension drop a bit. Even as Spike glared at me. If I was smart, I’d have been more cautious, but going into a dragon den pretty much established just how smart I was... - - - - - - - Well, I’m in it now. I hope you find it worth the wait as I close in on my final final! Will he pass? Will he fail? Will he finish this arc? Stay tuned to answers to these questions! Probably!