//------------------------------// // Episode 17 [Rarity]: Please welcome to the show Rarity // Story: The Daily Show presents: Equestrian Interviews // by Daily Show Ponies //------------------------------// Series: Equestrian interviews Interviewer: Jon Stewart Guest: Rarity Date: ??? Location: Daily Show headquarters 733 11th Avenue Manhattan, NY 10019 THIS IS THE DAILY SHOW WITH JON STEWART How it usually worked at the Daily Show was the pony, or other indeterminate mythical species, who was scheduled to take the stage would get teleported into the dressing/waiting room of Daily Show headquarters; from there they would be greeted by Jon’s assistant, Selina Jenson. Is was then that she would often dictate what would happen next. If Jon hadn’t already met with said guest, she would bring them up to him, assuming Jon wasn’t too busy. If circumstances conspired that they couldn't meet right away, like if Jon couldn't be bothered at the moment or he and the guest had already met, then Selina took it upon herself to show the guest around and inform them as to what would happen and what was expected of them. This meant that sometimes the scenario was possible of Jon having a read out of what the guest is like even before meeting them, or what kind of tone the interview might potentially be heading into. And judging by the way Selina had burst into Jon’s office unannounced just confirmed what he had already known. “UGH! I can’t stand that woman!” Selina roared as she burst her way into Jon’s office without knocking, like a wild bull, and threw herself into the chair in front of Jon’s desk. Looking up from the pile of work on his desk, Jon was shocked to see his assistant with her tie undone, hair down, and a face that looked as if she wanted to punch the nearest face she could reach. Jon hardly recognized her. “Who, you mean Rarity?” Jon asked, getting only a angry sigh and a forced nod in return. “Odd, I’d’ve thought you’d love her. She’s a highclass pony like Octavia and you liked her.” “Yes, but Octavia never tried to take away my job by going around the office telling people what to do or where to go because according to her she wanted her interview to go ‘JUST RIGHT’” Selina sneered as she pulled out a cigarette from a metal tin case. “Nor did she feel the need to comment on my outfit by saying that maybe I should let the bust in a bit more!” Slamming her hand on Jon’s desk, she grabbed his lighter and lit her cigarette without asking permission. With great haste she took a long puff and blew the smoke out her nose, driving the bull comparison home. “S-Selina I... I’ve never seen this side of you before.” Jon said, trying his hardest to hid back a smile and the laugh that came with it. “I... I didn’t think you were capable of this.... showing emotions I mean.” Clearly not amused by his jesting she gave Jon a look that bordered on angry and unamused before expelling another cloud of harmful smoke. “And I didn’t think you’d be capable of such poor decisions.” She rebutted. “What on Earth would compel you to invite that... that pony onto your show!?” This was actually a question Jon thought long and hard about for the past couple of hours. And while he could have justified his decision by any of the numerous examples that Rarity herself had given to him, or by the fact that, as well as being a very talented and independent business woman, she was also very kind, generous, and helpful. Not to mention she was a member of the Mane 6, a group of elite ponies who have literally saved Equestria on numerous occasions. But for all her boasting and accolades, Jon hadn't yet exactly pinpointed that one important aspect of her that made her a must have for the show, unlike say her colleagues Rainbow Dash or Twilight Sparkle, a speed demon and a master of magic respectively. But it was here during the post production of the show that Jon finally found what Rarity a very important pony. She was the only guest capable of getting under the skin of Jon’s nerve strong assistant to the point where she requested the rest of the day off. His back pain was well worth seeing his assistance in such a flustered state. “Oh this interview is going to be good.” Jon thought with a laugh. Apparently Selina wasn’t the only person who thought her job was being taken over by obtrusive unicorn. According to other key members of the Daily Show crew, Rarity was asserting so much input into the going-ons around the office that a good percentage of the show that day was being organized by her alone. It started with the makeup girls wanting to work on her face. They got about as far as suggesting a type of brush to use to apply some blush before Rarity politely, though hesitantly, rejected their help in favor of doing her own makeup for the time being. At first they they didn’t mind Rarity’s wanting to do her own face, it was actually quite preferred since now they could work on the makeup of some of the other scheduled pundits that day like, Jason Jones and his wife Samantha Bee. Or rather they would had Rarity not taken it upon herself to do their makeup as well because, according to her; she just wanted to help. The staff, to a degree, respected her willingness to assist them, but from where they stood it seemed like she thought she could a better job than them... something which was actually embarrassingly true. Though this didn’t stop them from trying to show off some degree skill of their own. At one point some brave, but foolish, intern tried to match her intensity by demanding that she stylize Rarity’s mane for her interview... in practice that intern might as well have issued a declaration of war against her. Another department of the show that felt the fabulous wrath of Rarity was the costume department. A section that was so obviously a target that Jon made it a point to actually warn them about her eventual visit. Though in practice it was like warning someone that a unavoidable heat seeking missile is heading towards them hours after it already terminated; it didn’t help. What really got to some of the custom designers was how Rarity claimed all their assorted clothing was out of date and not very well put together. She explained how, if not properly attended to, they would fall apart very easily during usage; so they took upon herself to fix them. Again her eagerness to help would sometimes rub people the wrong way and for others it just made them depressed to see how a Pony, who had no fingers, was better at sewing then they were; and they had loads of fingers. There was one section of the Daily Show that Rarity actually avoided like the plague and that was the sound and tech department. It seemed that for all her technical skills, when it came to the arts, she knew next to nothing about electronics and distanced herself from them accordingly. This meant that those working on the set were left to do things themselves, though that didn’t stop Rarity from visiting to make sure everything was okay for her debut; though she didn’t stay very long. As for the sound engineers they didn’t even know what she looked like till the actual interview since she left them completely alone. They weren’t working on the set, but rather were left to come up with a theme song that would play during the actual airing which was later that day. Another aspect of the show that didn’t need any input on Rarity’s part was the audience which reliably embraced the viewer with the same level of enthusiasm one would expect from them after the return from the final commercial break. Stock footage of the streets of New York flashed on screen while the camera did it’s usual sweep before eventually zooming in on Jon who was pretending to hastily write his signature in blue note paper after blue note paper. When he looked up to address the camera he was still doing so but now talking over the audience in the process. “Hey Welcome back! My Guest tonight, ladies and gentleman!” He yelled over the crowd as best he could. “She is a member of the Elements of Harmony, a professional seamstress, and an active resident of Ponyville.” “Jesus!” Jon gasped, as he recoiled in fake terror. “Please welcome to the show Rarity!” As the audience began to cheer for the eventual unveiling of the new Equestrian interviewee the sound of chirpy music began to play overhead, acting as the theme song for the guest for the night. A theme song that Rarity herself had no input on since she didn’t dare to go anywhere near the sound department. Eventually the cheers got louder once someone finally emerged from backstage and onto the set. It was in fact Rarity who slowly walked across the stage in such a confident swagger that one could very well assume she’d been practicing her entrance for hours. And while the good people of Manhattan were very cultured and well-bred patrons of the arts, even they were caught off guard by the pony currently walking across the stage. The way she looked and acted gave the impression that perhaps her presence would be better suited for some kind of grand ballroom or at the unveiling of a theatre or concert hall in some upstate European city. Her dress was a long flowing gown of royal blue that matched well with the blue on stage, and gold trimmings that spiraled into shapes at the edges. She also wore a decorative gold saddle with a design of the sun on it; it was clearly designed to be practical only in that it was a purely cosmetic item. As she walked closer and closer to Jon, he found himself having to hold back some early fits of laughter at her hair which was done in a sort of beehive style. The way it was woven was expertly done, but since the style in itself was always silly looking to him, he found himself having to force back a sea of laughter. Meeting her halfway on stage Jon leaned in to shake her hoof and give her a kiss on cheek which she returned in a similar fashion. Before the two returned to the desk, they stood there to wave at the guests with Rarity whispering encouragements to herself in an attempt to feel less nervous. Jon could sense this so he held on to her hoof for support, but soon found that he couldn’t break free even if he wanted to since Rarity was using her magic to keep his hand, and subsequently his entire self glued in one spot. He just assumed this was because she was nervous but in actuality it was because with Jon still wearing the suit that Rarity made for him, and the dress she was wearing, being her own design, she wanted to show off her handy work to the world as long as possible, thus accumulating a bulk of free advertisement in a few seconds equal to what would normally have taken her years and several hundred bits. After it was clear that it was time to get back to their seats, clear by a stagehand desperately trying to get their attention by pointing to his watch, Rarity and Jon made their way back to the desk with Jon offering his hand for his guest to easily get to her chair. There the two did one last wave to the audience before sitting down, both seemed ready to go with Rarity being the last to stop waving. “Welcome to the show Ms. Rarity; we-- thanks so much for being here today.” Jon said as the crowd began to die down in volume. “I must say that’s a real nice dress you have there... I’m guessing it was made by you?” “Why yes!” She responded, hoping Jon would ask this very question. “Thank you ever so much for noticing, Darling! If I may say so myself that is a rather dapper looking suit you heave there! Is it new?” Both he and the crowd laughed, leaving the audiences at home wondering what was so funny. In typical Daily Show fashion before the actual airing there was a moment where Jon got to address the audience one on one and share questions and comments. It was during this open forum that some vacationing tourist asked Jon the exact same question, it was then that he revealed that his new suit was a gift from the guest of the hour. “W-why yes it uh, it most certainly is!” He answered in a overly excited tone. “A friend made it for me.” Again the intended inside joke between Jon and his in house audience connected perfectly. However Rarity was hoping that Jon would reveal that said suit was of her design; disappointed but not defeated she knew of a back up way to get what she wanted. “Which reminds me, Jonathan.” She said as she used her magic to produce a stylish looking box with the prettiest pink bow one could ever see. “You left my place of residence without taking your other suit with you. I took the liberty of cleaning, pressing, and neatly folding it in this box for you.” Using her magic she lifted the purple and pink box into Jon’s hands whereupon he took it and placed it underneath the desk. The fact that she had his clothes, that he himself left at her house caused a few raised eyebrows from the audience both here and back in Equestria. “Thank you Rarity.” Jon said as he turned ever so slightly to address the audience. “For those of... of, of, of you wondering I visited her once and I left my suit... because she made me this one and well I... yeeeeaaah sooo-- HEY Rarity! How you liking your stay in New York so far!?” The audience chuckled as both he and Rarity adjusted themselves in their seats at almost the same time. “Oh it’s it’s simply marvelous, darling!” She exclaimed. “The art! The culture! The prestige! Ahhhh, it’s all so wonderful and sophisticated! Though I will admit I was a tad worried about coming here on my own.” “Really?” He wondered aloud. “Funny I thought you’d be excited if anything else.” “Oh, but of course! Don’t get me wrong I’ve been looking forward to this for quite some time.” She explained, raising her hooves in defense. “But you see... well if I’m to explain my hesitation I feel I should first provide a bit of context... are you familiar with how programs from your world make it to ours?” When it came to the more detailed and technical analysis of how broadcasting and wavelengths work Jon was about as far removed from understanding that as humanly possible. But at it’s more basic level, Jon had an idea of what was happening. “In a uh... in a matter of speaking y-y-yes I do.” Jon began. “Only a very select few human programs actually make it to Equestria... not because of quality or censorship, but because of signal strength... there-- some make it and others don’t. Lucky for me my show is uh... is one of them.” “Yes exactly, and while yours is by far the most popular human program watched in Equestria there are some other shows that we watch as well... though they don’t hold a candle to you, darling.” She complimented. “Now as I was saying... there is another program which, on occasion, I’ll find time to watch. It’s something of a guilty pleasure for me actually..” “No kidding?” Jon said. “Oh indeed so, and said show also takes place in New York.” she continued, surprising Jon as evident by his now leaning forward. “And it’s from watching this that I, I’ll admit, I had this idea that New York... might be a dangerous place.” The stigma that New York was a place filled with violence and crime was always one that irked Jon a bit. While the big apple had it’s fair share of bad seeds it wasn’t anymore dangerous than any other city; in fact as of late the crime rate was down. So to hear about how that very same stigma crept it’s way into the pony world didn’t exactly sit well with him. “Well I’m sorry to hear that.” He apologized, his inner curiosity now growing. “If I may... did you-- what show exactly gave you the impression that New York was so dangerous?” “Well... it’s-- I’m not sure if you’ve ever heard of it. But it was an hour long program called ‘Law and Order.’” She unveiled causing both Jon and the audience to laugh. “The show itself was quite riveting I dare say... but with a new crime every episode I was beginning to think; ‘goodness New York must be filled with all manner of criminals!’” Jon wasn’t sure if Rarity knew whether or not the Law and Order series was fictional, but when he thought about it he decided it would be funnier if he just left her stay blissfully ignorant. “Yeah a dead hooker every week will do that to ya?” Jon laughed. “Though...We-- I certainly hope you don’t still-- I mean now that you’re actually here I hope you don’t feel the same way.” “Oh no need worry, darling.” Rarity assured him. “I know now that New York is a vibrant oasis of culture and civility... and, if I may be so bold, home to some of the most fabulous looking humans I’ve ever seen.” Even though it was uncertain exactly how many humans she’d seen in her lifetime, or wether a pony can properly gauge human looks, the crowd still accepted this pandering compliment and began to cheer accordingly. She may have never been on television before, but she certainly knew how to work an audience. “Oh please stop! You’re embarrassing me!” Rarity begged the audeince as she blushed slightly and made gesturing motions towards those in the bleachers. “I must say your audience members are as welcoming as they are classy.” Straining his neck to get a good look at those in attendance, Jon gave a confused look like he and his guest weren’t seeing the same thing. “Are you sure we’re seeing the same crowd here?” Jon whispered into his mic which caused the audience to laugh. “Oh Jonathan you certainly are a facetious one. When I look into our audience tonight I see some of the most delightful group of humans one could ask for.” She complimented. Her desire to pander to those watching was a technique that Jon, as as standup comedian, was all too familiar with. “Wonderful people for an equally wonderful city...I can see why you grew up here.” “Yes I-- actually that’s a common mistake among my fans; I actually didn’t grow up here in the big apple.” Jon corrected. “I was born here... uh, I’ve spent most of my adult life here, but I... I, I, I actually grew up in a little town called Lawrenceville in upstate New Jersey.” “Oh... well I suppose it’s true what they say; you learn something new everyday..” She chimed as she took a sip of her water. “Well I’m... afraid I don’t know much about this ‘New Jersey.’ Tell me Jonathan is it anything like New York?” “Eeeeeeh not really.” Jon proclaimed as he tapped his pen against the table. “Let’s... let’s put it this way... uh, P-Ponyville is to New Jersey as Canterlot is to New York.” The audience chuckled even though a few of them weren’t entirely clear on the comparison since they had never been either location, but they understood the joke well enough to see its intended humor. “Oh... oh, I see.” Rarity said, sounding somewhat disappointed. Clearing her throat she again grabbed her water. “An amusing comparison I must say! Tell me what would the human equivalent to say... Cloudsdale be?” The name alone made Jon cringed as memories he’d rather forget flooded his brain. “Cloudsdale huh?” Jon asked trying not to sound too familiar. “Isn’t that the place that’s just spewing with Rainbows at every opening? “Yes, that is indeed the place.” She acknowledged. “Of course we have a human equivalent.” He offered. “It’s called San Francisco.” The joke’s punch line had more of a direct impact to the humans watching the show than the ponies; although Rainbow Dash knew all too well what Jon was referring to. “San... Francisco?” She pondered to Jon. “How odd... I wonder if it anything to do with an Equestrian city to the far west of Ponyville called ‘San Flankcisco.” At the moment there was no laughter to be had from the audience at Rarity’s statement. It was only when there was a silence brought on by Jon just staring at her with a peculiar look on their face did they feel the need to express the humor of what was going on. “‘San Flankcisco?’ My god, is there anything you people won’t ponify?” Jon asked, with a look of disbelief on his face. “You know what? Fine! I'll... I'll role with it! So, have you uh, have you have been to to this ‘San Buttcisco’ of yours?” “Well yes, I have, but it doesn’t have the same prestige as some of the other cities in Equestria so I don’t make it a point of interest to go there very often.” She admitted, disappointing some regional watchers. “How about you darling.” “If you’re asking if I’ve ever been to San Francisco, then the answer is not really.” He answered. “I’m more of a east coast shut in. Born in New York, raised in New Jersey, moved back to New York.” “Well... at least you had the good sense to leave New Jersey and come back to New York when you had the chance.” Rarity complemented. The reaction, once again, was slightly mixed as some of the visiting guests were actually from the garden state, as were a good portion of the audience watching in their homes. “You know it’s-- I find it odd that you... you, you, you live the high society life, yet at the same time you live in Ponyville.” He submitted while gesturing his hand forward in a chopping motion. “You know instead of... I would think you’d rather live in a place like Canterlot, Baltimare, or Manehattan. Yeah that’s right, I can swing the pony lingo now!” With a delicate hoof upon her lips, Rarity chuckled to herself in a way that most stereotypical high class people did, like she was afraid a full bloated laugh would cause her to spill her drink. “I’ll admit my current residence is a bit... oh how should I but it, ‘grottier’ than I would like it, but it does have some sentimental value to me.” She explained, with Jon understanding all too well. “It’s where dear old Mommy and Daddy raised me, and it’s where all my friends are... it may have it’s flaws, and at times I feel it’s filled with some of the craziest individuals one could ever imagine, but for all the unsophistication and lack of class, you’ll always find yourself welcomed with opened hooves. And while there may be some new evil trying to destroy us every so often, it’s still a worthwhile place to consider. Great place to live, but you wouldn't want to visit there... and yet it will always hold a special place in my heart.” During her exposition Jon was leaning forward with a single arm under his head for support so after she had finished talking he jerked back like he was awoken from some kind of trance. “Wait, we’re still talking about New Jersey right?” Jon said causing both the audience and the guest to share a laugh. After their joyous session of giggles finally ended, he spoke once more. “Now uh... y-you’re love for Ponyville aside... do you-- you’ve been to some of the other Equestrian cities before right?” “Oh, yes, yes many times.” Rarity admitted. “Great so... out of all these... these grand pony metropolitans which would you say is your favorite.” Jon asked. “Oh dear well now that is a difficult question to answer. Picking one’s favorite... well anything is always an arduous task.” She explained as she rubbed her chin and used her magic to levitate her mug of water to her mouth. “Hmm... I’m afraid I can’t be certain at this point.” “Oh come on Rare! There’s gotta be someplace your enjoy more than the other.” Jon pleaded as he jokingly grabbed her hoof. “I mean, gun to your head, if you had to pick just one which would it be?” Rarity was all but willing to answer Jon’s question by now, but something he just said caused her an understandable amount of confusion, considering their cultural differences. “I’m... I’m sorry Jonathan but a what to my head?” She asked. The same look of confusion was now being shared by Jon himself. “Gu... a gun.” He repeated himself in a louder voice though it didn’t seem to make her any more clear on what he was asking. “It, it, it’s an expression that means if you were forced to make a decision.” “Oh that I understood,” She continued. “I’m just not entirely sure what a ‘gun’ is.” With eyes that looked like someone had shined a light into them Jon leaned forward in utter shock. “Are you seriously telling me you don’t know what a gun is!?” She exclaimed as he began to make a gesture with his hand to imitate gun with his pointer finger and thumb. “You know those, those, things that... you know that kill people... by firing small pieces of metal at them... at very high veloci-- OH COME ON, you watch Law and Order!” The more he explained this point to his guest, the more confused he got, but just when it seemed like Jon was barking up the wrong tree a look of realization appeared on Rarity’s face. Finally she made the connection. “Ooooooooh a gun!” She conceded. “Oh yes now I remember... those dreadful things that are used to hurt others... yes now I remember. Sorry about that dear, but I’m afraid such things aren’t my forte... you see there are no guns in Equestria.” Taking a sip of her water the crowd in attendance began to cheer at the thought of a world that had no firearms. Much like how Rarity was struggling to understand what a gun was, Jon was having a difficult time comprehending how she lived in a world completely devoid of them. “I....wha-- wow I just... okay, you know what, one thing at a time!” Jon exclaimed as he lifted his finger into the air. “We’ll uh... w-w-we’ll come back to that later... but for now about that question I asked you.” “Hmm? Oh right, right, right, of course!” Rarity cleared her throat, as her memory returned to her. “Now then as we were discussing.... out of all the major metropolises in Equestria that I have personally had the pleasure of visiting, I would say my favorite would be the illustrious city of Canterlot. It may not have the size of Manhattan or the industrial life blood of say, Baltimare... but what it does have is a vibrant oasis of art and culture that are the talks of legend. Plus it holds the royal castle which had me as a guest of honor at one point.” For a second Jon wanted to tell how the same thing happened to him too, but at the risk of sounding he was trying to upstage his guest he decided to keep it to himself. “OH wow, well congratulations!” Jon said as the audience gave an applause quick enough for Jon to speak again. “That must have been quite an experience for you.” “Goodness me, it certainly was! Oh you would not believe the amount of elegant ponies I saw during my stay!” Rarity exclaimed as she cocked her head to the side like she was daydreaming. “Now of course yours truly is no stranger to the sophisticated lifestyle of upper class ponies, but these socialites were truly the best of the best; with the most influential of them all being the world renowned colt among colts, the one and only Fancy Pants.” “Oh, you met Fancy pants did you?” Jon asked, finding that two two being acquainted not at all surprising, given their backgrounds. “Yes I most certainly did! You see at first I was invited to Canterlot as a guest of the Princess in her castle where I would design a dress for Twilight's birthday, BUT as luck would have it I happened to run into Fancy pants while in Canterlot Proper.” She explained in a giddy tone like a high schooler describing how she met the captain of the football team during passing periods. “Oh I tell you it was like something out of and old fairy tale! Imagine it Jonathan, there I was; a nopony wondering the perfectly paved streets of Canterlot, unnoticed by the many mares and colts that passed her by. But then all of a sudden she was approached by some mysterious figure revealing himself to being the most handsome and charming stallions of them all. Before the young and naive mare knew what had happened she was swept off her hooves by this hunk of a pony and promptly invited to join him and his inner circle of friends on a rollocking adventure exploring the many fine outlets that Canterlot had to offer! It was truly an experience that most mares only dream of.” There was no doubt in Jon’s mind that Rarity was exaggerating some of the finer points in her description of what had happened. Though one thing he did take her at face value was the part of Fancy Pants inviting her to join him for a day around the town; it really did seem like something he’d do. Pretty much the same thing happened to Jon when he and his wife visited Canterlot for the first time; a point which he decided, again, not to bring up lest it seemed like he was trying to upstage his guest. “So where did-- what did you and Fancy Pants end up doing for that fairy tale outing of yours?” He asked as he leaned back in his seat, causing Rarity to lean forward. “Oh no where special reeeaaaally.” She confessed with a idle wave of her hoof. “He only took me, as his guest of honor I should mention, to see the Wonderbolts do a live performance, then he invited me to christen the launching of a new high class airship, but not before inviting me over to his private yacht.” “And here I thought you were a cheap date.” Jon commented in an obvious joking manner. “I’m guessing your trip was all pleasure and no business then?” “Well now I wouldn't say that say that exactly.” She commented. “Do not get me wrong, I had some jolly good fun conversing with high class society ponies, but at the same time I did remember I was there for a reason. I was tasked with preparing the most stunning dress Twilight had ever seen... which was difficult when so many of Fancy Pants’ colleagues were inviting me to their various social gatherings... they were quite persistent that I attend.” “So what you're saying is you had business to take care of, but a bunch of fancy ponies kept trying to force you to go to their different shindigs?” Jon surmised. “Yes that’s exactly what happened!” Rarity affirmed. “I mean can you imagine?” “I think I have an idea of what that feels like.” He said waiting for the irony to sink in, but it never did. “Sounds exhausting to me really.” “Well for now I will say this... the events I participated in were actually quite riveting!” She continued. “I got to go to an art gallery to see an upcoming exhibit, attend a charity auction, for a good cause I assure you, and then there was a private dinner party at a local resident's fabulous penthouse suite.” “Rarity, I’m going to go out on a limb and say that you wore a different outfit for each and every one of these fancy occasions you’ve just listed.” He assumed. “Why yes I did!” She revealed sounding rather flattered. “How did you know.” “Just a hunch.” Jon shrugged. “But you see doing so necessary. As well has having a ‘good time’ I was also networking with some of the most influential ponies of my generation, because as I'm sure you are aware it's not what you know it's who you know. So I’m sure you understand that I needed to look my best.” She explained. “But yes it is how you said all very exhausting. Why I was on my hooves so much I almost didn’t finish Twilight dress!” To bring this point home Rarity struck a dramatic pose where she laid the back of her hoof against her face. “You know... uh, you could have just politely declined their offer and focused on making the dress.” Jon argued. “Bite your tongue, Jonathan! A noble mare such as myself could never do such a thing. They requested my presence at their various outings, a true lady such as myself had to attend.” She challenged as she slammed the top of the desk. “Going to those events helped me expand my portfolio of professional acquaintances like never before! As a strong independent business mare, these contractual obligations are just as important as keeping a promise to a friend... besides if word got out that I turned down the invitations of some of the highest regarded ponies in all of Canterlot then others would assume I was some kind of churlish snob who's bad manners were matched only a lacking sense of civility.” “Wow... you really care about how other ponies think about you, don’t ya.” He submitted. “Well now when you put it that way it makes me sound like some kind of egotistical scamp who bases her self worth by what others say about-- okay I can see where you're coming from.” She admitted in a deadpan voice as she nervously rubbed the back of her head. “I’m afraid I’ve... I’ve been this way for as long as I can remember... ever since I was young I always dreamt of being a somepony... and I just thought that if these high class ponies thought the world of me I could finally be an important pony.” Rather than coming at things from an understanding angle, or seeing things from her point of view, Jon raised a single eyebrow as far up as he could before leaning in like he was going to whisper something but instead spoke in a clear tone. “Rarity... you... at the time this was happening you got to stay in Canterlot Castle as the personal guest of PRINCESS CELESTIA.” Jon reminded her. “Not only that, but you’re also a member of a group of ponies who control the elements of existence and have saved the world twice; once from a powerful Alicorn trying to take over the throne a-and, and, and again against a god who was threatening to plunge all of existence into eternal chaos. W-what I’m saying is unless you also...uh, find a way of making it so when I drop my toast it lands butter side up I think you can’t get any more important than you already are.” “Why thank you Jonathan darling! You do know what to say to make a girl feel good about herself don’t you?” She cheered as she flipped her hair coquettishly. “In a lot of ways you remind me a lot of Fancy Pants; a sophisticated socialite with wealth, power, followers, and a true gentleman and a scholar.” “Rarity stop, you’re already on the show.” Jon patted her hoof as the crowd shared a laugh. “And speaking of which I actually had Fancy Pants on, on, on my show once before.” “Ah yes, I am well aware of that!” She answered as she sat up in her seat now at full attention. “That particular episode is actually one of my all time favorites, I’ll have you know.” Here in the human world the Daily Show was world renowned, but at the same time the audience was dominated by a certain group or two for ultimate niche appeal. They didn’t score too well with republicans, the elderly, or rich people, but throughout the years cornered the market with younger, more liberal audiences. And stoners; they completely controlled the stoner demographic. But the guests he’s had from Equestria were from all walks of life and, based on their census, seemed that every pony in Equestria watched his show. “Well after this I’m sure he’ll feel the same way about yours?” He said. “Honestly I’m surprised ponies like you and Fancy Pants even watch my show.” “Oh darling please; anypony who is anypony watches the Daily Show back home.” She revealed in a tone that suggested that she was only stating an obvious. “I myself have been enjoying the comedic genius of your fine program for many years now. I’ll admit... I may have missed a few episodes every now and again during the hectic fashion season, but as of late I have never missed an installment of ‘Equestrian Interviews.’” No doubt Jon was flattered by this gesture, but rather than letting it go, he decided to expand on it, since something she said gave him an idea for another interesting line of questioning. “Rarity... Which-- might I ask you a question?” He said as he leaned in like what he was about to say was extremely important. “Well of course, Jonathan!” She said. “You can ask me whatever your heart desires!” “Okay thanks.” He responded in a blunt tone, and then proceeded to say nothing, leaving an awkward silence. When Rarity began to fidget in her seat the audience chuckled at her expression of confusion. “Um... w-what is the question you want to ask, Darling?” She finally ventured. “Oh no that was it.” Jon revealed. “My question was ‘can I ask you a question?’” “....Oh ...” Rarity said, looking confused than playfully annoyed once she saw Jon break out in laughter at her expense. “No I’m just joking!” He chuckled, obviously amused by his own antics. He took a second to get whatever laughter he had left out of his system before continuing. “What I... no, actually what I wanted to ask was.... was, was, was...out of... out of all the episodes you’ve seen that’s had a guest from Equestria... who--which one would be your favorite?” Much like before there was a silence from Rarity only this time it was because she was seriously thing thinking about the question. This was clear by her now leaning forward with her one hoof holding her up and the other tapping gently against her face in thought. “Weeell... well Like I said before, picking ones favorite anything is always a difficult choice to make.” She explained. “Especially since quite a few of of the ponies you’ve interviewed are dear friends of mine.” “Buuuuuuuuuuut.” Jon leaned in with widened eyes. “But... if I had to pick one Equestrian Interview I enjoyed the most... I would say it would be... Rainbow Dash’s.” Rarity admitted, sounding and looking slightly guilty that she said it. “I mean no disrespect to some of my colleagues who have been and I’m sure will be on this very show, but when it comes to Rainbow Dash... well like me I know she’s just been dying to get on television, so when I finally saw her being interviewed, I just couldn't help but feel overwhelming joy for her... It was nice seeing a friend’s dream come true. Also, it was amusing seeing you tease her a bit here and there.” “Yes well, I know where you're coming from, it is always nice to see a friend succeed in their goals.” He stated. He himself had the pleasure of seeing many of his corresponds move on to bigger, better things. “And you know I rather liked the uh, the Rainbow Dash Interview as well, and so did our fans. According to ratings, viewership of the show went up a whopping 20% after her interview.” “Oh I’m not surprised; she’s an all around great friend to have, I can’t imagine how anypony wouldn’t find her absolutely adorable.” She chimed in. “As a matter of fact I owe so much of what I’ve done with my life to her. It’s because of her that I was able to get my Cutie Mark... it’s a long story, but basically me, Twilight, Fluttershy, Applejack, and Pinkie Pie all got our Cutie Marks because of her. Not only that, but at one point dearest Rainbow Dash actually saved my life.” “She did!?” Jon marveled as he leaned in, almost hanging over his desk. “Oh indeed she did!” Rarity responded as she leaned in as well. “Again a long story darling but the gist of it is I and the Wonderbolts were falling to our deaths when Rainbow Dash heroically swooped down from on high and saved us all from a fate most foul! So yes, I do owe that pony a lot for always being there for me; like a good friend should.” While the crowd applauded this declaration of friendship Rarity herself was having a hard time pinpointing the look on Jon’s face. Partially because he had his hands clasped in front of it, as if in deep thought, but also because, despite her heartwarming story, he looked to be both confused and annoyed. “Okay... so... alright, alright... so If I’m understanding you correctly... Rainbow Dash has not only... helped save your world multiple times from the forces of evil but she’s also... responsible for setting into action a series of events which ultimately shaped the lives of five other ponies who would grow up to become the Elements of Harmony themselves.” Jon listed as Rarity followed along by nodding her head. “In addition, she’s not only one of the fastest flyers in your world, but she’s the only pony to ever pull off the uh... the, the, the, Sonic Rainboom and she’s also saved the lives of both you and numerous members of the Wonderbolts from certain death... am I right so far?” “Yes, yes you are darling.” She answered. For the third time there was no dialogue between them, just a very confused Jon looking at Rarity with a look of complete disbelief like she had just told him that the world is flat. “Okay seriously!” Jon roared as she threw his hands in the air. “How the HELL is she not a member of the Wonderbolts yet!?” Before she could even answer, the crowd began to cheer and applaud with an intensity they usually reserved for only for when the show began or ended. At one point Rarity tried to say something but her words were drowned out by the crowd chanting the words “Rainbow Dash” over and over again. “Well I’m... I’m certain that one day they will see her for the great and loveable pony that she.” Rarity said over the continued cheering of the crowd. “Actually awhile ago I created the most stunning technicolor scarf and saddle ensemble that would look simply adorable with the Wonderbolts uniform... I plan on giving it to Rainbow Dash the day she’s finally accepted onto the team.” The crowd that had at this point ceased their applause and had once again reacted only this time in a cliched chorus of “Awwwwwww.” “You really do seem like you are very fond of Rainbow Dash.” Jon commented. as he played with the pen on his desk. “And I can see why; she’s done so much for you.” “Yes, yes she has; she’s one of my best friends.” She responded. “Would... I mean would you uh, go as far as to say that she’s your favorite out of all your friends?” He asked without a hint of sarcasm which lead the purple haired Unicorn to give him a look of shock. “Jonathan Stewart, I can not believe you’d even ask such a question!” She uttered as she threw her snout in the air. “This isn’t like picking my favorite city or interview, what you’re asking is impossible. I mean I could maybe pick a favorite sewing machine, or a favorite spa treatment, maybe even a favorite restaurant BUT a favorite one of my friends... why it’s unthinkable. I mean... could you choose a favorite one of your children?” “Well I would but... then the other would just get mad at me.” He said while pulling out collar to let out the imaginary steam. “So... not even gonna try to think of a favorite huh?” “Not at all.” She answered. “Not even, as you humans apparently say, ‘bun to my head.’” Her refusal to budge on the issue was rewarded by those in attendance giving her a slight applause, as well as a few giggles from those who caught on her to her mispronunciation. “It’s it’s called a ‘gun’... and you know I’m glad you brought that back up,” he said. “I’m just... you know I’m sitting here... and I absolutely... what really baffles me is that you live in a world where guns don’t exist... It’s like-- it, it, it just completely blows my mind.” “Is it so odd a concept to comprehend?” She asked. “I’m not an expert on the subject, but if I had to take an educated guess I would say that we ponies of Equestria don’t possess the technology to create such devices ourselves. I’ve only ever seen them on television so enlighten me... are they quite prominent in your culture?” Her question wasn’t answered firstly by Jon, but by the audience who laughed at her perfectly innocent inquiry. “Rarity, in our world... we-- some people use guns the same way a high school student uses a comma.” He explained. “Way too much and in the wrong places; OH, NERD SLAM!” To punctuate his own joke Jon pumped his fists while yelling the phrase "boom", leaving Rarity astonished on how he could make light of an apparently serious issue. Once the crowd ceased its own laughter the issue went right back to being serious with Jon continuing his explanation. “But r-really we use-- and not only that, but uh... but even as we speak this issue is the focal point of so many debates from our leaders that our media is completely fixated on them, with some people wanting to... to, to get rid of them and others wanting them more easily accessible.” He explained. “In fact we-- they are so prominent in our culture that one of the earliest amendments of this nation was the right to own them. Our uh, military uses them, our, our, our police force uses them, normal citizens use them, and, unfortunately, our criminal underclass uses them as well.” “Oh dear! Well I can certainly see why some such a topic would be highly debated.” Rarity commented. “Fortunately for us such dangerous tools do not exist where I come from, so while I can possibly see them being used for good, I’ll never have to worry about such a weapon falling into the wrong hooves.” It would seem that the crowd was in agreement based on their light cheering that soon followed after. “Well yes, but at the same time I’m sure Equestria isn’t completely absent of it’s fair share of dangerous instruments. I’m sure you guys have some weaponry that are just as, if not more, dangerous than a gun.” Jon commented as he made a gesture for her to reconsider. “Here’s what’s so interesting... I know for a fact that guards have spears and and there are some unicorn spells that are considered deadly... what about those?” “You do have a point, but you see all of the things you’ve listed are items that have been heavily regulated. For example... the weapons that the royal guards own, such as spears, swords, bows are, from what I understand, only given to professional guards and not to civilians.” She explained, trying her best to recollect as much as possible about a subject that she only knew vaguely of. “Though there have been cases of them being issued to non-royal guards, but even then every step is taken to make sure it’s been given to a pony who won’t abuse it.” “It’s interesting how in your world... the act of making dangerous artifacts hard to procure isn’t seen as... a-a-as limiting freedom, but instead a necessity for keeping the public safe.” He commented which in turn caused the crowd to cheer at the idea, some with more personal experience with said subject than others. “And what of magic... that seems like something much more ambiguous since a large group of the Equestrian populace are Unicorns; magic users.” “Well yes, but it’s very much the same. You see as for dangerous magic spells... well again only trained and certified Unicorns are allowed to have them... they aren’t just given to anypony, that would be highly irresponsible.” Rarity advised. “Spellbooks are rare and often hard to obtain because they are circulated carefully or kept under advisement incase it’s not ready to go to the population. Twilight once told me that an old Unicorn trick for keeping lethal spells out of the hooves of ponies that could abuse them would be to make them as complicated and difficult to use as possible... thus making them worthless to an inexperienced user.” “So just to summarize: your-- Equestria has no guns, has mandated some heavy regulations on weapons, and is ruled by a monarchy.” Jon listed, getting a nod in return on each point. “Alright then... I can safely say that Republicans would hate it in your world.” In response to this obvious facetious assumption, Rarity threw her nose in the air as if idly dismissing the advances of an amorous soiter “Well then... to them the only thing I would say in response is perhaps they should keep an open mind about other people’s cultures.” She stated for the world to see. “Especially if they know little about it.” “Well said, but...but let me ask you this?” Jon said, having to pause mid-sentence because of the audience once again cheering at another one of Rarity’s pearls of wisdom. “Do you personally... uh, own any weapons like... like, like a spear or some destructive spells, just... really anything at all?” “No I do not. Such things have no place in my household.” Rarity shook her head. “I wouldn’t even know how one would go about requesting the forms necessary to own any steel based weaponry like the ones the royal guards own. And as for any lethal spells... well I am a Unicorn, but unlike say Twilight Sparkle, I’m not what you would say a technical profession in the magic arts. I know a few basic spells and even those aren’t dangerous. I only use them for the day to day chores and with my line of work like gem-finding, dressmaking, and topiary art. Why do you ask, darling?” “Uh, because well... let’s say for a second that I was someone who... uh, is a huge proponent of guns.” Jon had her consider. “I could argue that since you don’t have a gun, or really any other forms of weapons at your disposal, that you have no means to protect yourself like if a-- if someone breaks into your boutique to rob you.” The initial response to this was Rarity leaning back in her seat and placing her hooves in a praying position against her face, as if she was thinking about the question. In actuality she was hiding her smile. “I will say this darling... such scenario can happen... though highly unlikely.” She answered carefully. “You see, crime in Equestria is quite rare. Vile acts like theft, assault, and other such criminal actions are almost nonexistent in my world. It really is the kind of place where you can keep your front door unlocked at night.” “Are you trying to make me jealous!?” Jon asked in a jokingly roaring tone. “I can’t believe such a perfect world exist... you know giants, monsters, gods of destruction, and shape shifting demons notwithstanding.” “Now, now, now, Jonathan I wouldn’t say it’s perfect; crime is unlikely, I didn’t say it was impossible. The fact of the matter is that it does happen, but are usually too few and too far apart to ever be considered a major problem.” She continued. “And as such sometimes some ponies have their own methods for dealing with it... you asked what would happen if someone tried to rob me.” “Yeah, because you don’t have any weapons or, no offense, advance skills in magic so how would you deal with a situation like someone trying to mug you.” He asked as Rarity smiled the same hidden smile from before. “Because I don’t think your cat can be relied to subdue intruders.” “Well firstly, assuming the situation presents itself, I can always call upon the proper authorities to protect me. Secondly, if the situation is far beyond my control I can always run away or comply with said burglars demands... earthly bits are not worth one’s livelihood.” She explained as she grabbed her mug of water. “But if the situation presented itself where I personally needed to handle the situation with not but my own gumption... well let me assure you... I can handle myself.” Before taking a sip of her water she shot Jon a wink and a smug look leaving him to wonder how serious she was being. “I uh... I, I, I don’t understand what you mean exactly.” He admitted. “It’s quite simple really; If I needed to... I could subdue this would-be assailant using various CQC techniques and hoof-to-hoof engagements.” She answered, leaving Jon with a confused look about him. “...What I’m saying is I know how to fight.” Just as she expected would happen, Jon continued to sport his look of disbelief only now it was accompanied by an onslaught of laughter from both him and the audience. “You!” Jon exclaimed with a smile. “You know how to fight... you!?” “Indeed I do; took lessons in karate.” She answered which only made Jon laugh more. “Growing up, father insisted.” “You know Karate!?” Jon blurted out still as doubtful as ever. “The idea of somepony so elegant and sophisticated as myself knowing martial arts does sound rather... preposterous I will admit.” She conceded. “And while I prefer not to get my hooves dirty, if I’m ever in a situation where a friend or member of my family is in danger and I’ve exhausted every possible option rest assured that I will leap into the fray and do what I can to protect those that are most important to me!” Although she was being serious, Jon was still in the throes of laughter now at the thought of his guest calling “timeout” during a skirmish to fix her hair. “Okay, calm down there Ralph Macchio, I believe ya.” He said in a tone that lead Rarity to believe that he actually didn’t. “So, like, do you... I mean, if you practice Karate, do you have your black belt yet?” “I actually could have moved up to a black belt. My teacher said I had the potential.” She revealed. “But I turned the offer down.” “Why?” Jon asked. “Was this some kind of not wanting to get too involved with the practice or some kind of act of humility thing?” “No it’s because I wanted to stick to a purple belt.” She added. “Black is not my color.” For a brief moment Jon was actually starting to believe the validity of her claims, but once again he was now laughing at her, this time having to get up from his seat and place his hand against the his desk for balance before sitting back down. “You know... it’s... it’s statements like that that makes me suspect that you’re just... full of it.” Jon said causing Rarity to scrunch her nose in protest. “Well I never!” She exclaimed in forced protest, though it didn’t last long. With a slight scooch of her chair she leaned in to address Jon up close. “Very well then... if you do not believe me then here... allow me to demonstrate.” Dropping her elbow on the table she offered Jon her hoof as well as a confident smile. “Grab my hoof.” She said. “Excuse me?” He asked as he sat back down. “You heard me, darling. I want you to grab my hoof ” She repeated. Tentatively he reached out and did as she said. “Good... now then when I give the word I want you to apply as much force against my arm in an attempt to send it to the desk.” “Oh you mean arm wrestle!” Jon figured out. “You want to-- oh Rarity I couldn't, I don’t want to hurt you.” “Don’t worry, you won't, darling.” She assured him. “I simply wish to demonstrate that I do possess the sufficient strength necessary to support my claims... so if you please.” Being a gentleman Jon was ready to once again deny her request but the sound of the audience cheering him to go along with the stunt was quickly forcing him to reconsider. Like a man trapped in quicksand, the more he struggled the deeper he sank, with the crowd only increasing the volume of their cheers and applause if Jon look like he would break free from Rarity’s grip. “Alright fine.” Jon complied as he placed his elbow in the assumed position and adjusted himself in his seat. “But remember that contract you signed before the show? If I hurt you, I can’t be held responsible.” With a nod from his guest, Jon grabbed her perfectly manicured hoof as gently as possible “Alright aaaaaand... now!” Rarity said. The two parties were at a standstill with neither of them getting the upper hand, but only because neither of them tried to overpower the other. The crowd cheered with both of them refusing to make a move which only caused the audience to start chanting “Go, go, go” like it was an all night kegger. “Come now Jonathan.” Rarity spoke. “It’s perfectly alright... I promise you I won’t get hurt.” Though he was skeptical since he had a good few feet on her and probably outweighed her three times over. After it was clear that the crowd wasn’t going to stop their chanting Jon conceded and began to apply a tiny bit of pressure against Rarity, his plan being to quickly subdue her and get this over with. When Jon began to push Rarity’s hoof towards the side she responded by apply an equal amount of pressure to remain stationary. In retaliation Jon upped the amount of force only to get the same results; soon he found no matter how he tried he couldn't get Rarity’s arm to budge even an inch. Sitting up for leverage or putting his other hand flat on the desk didn’t do much to help. The chanting from the crowd got louder and louder till it eventually stopped, but only because it switched to cheering once Rarity, seemingly without much effort, slammed the back of Jon’s hand against the desk in victory. This portion of the interview alone would make it one of the most watched ones to date and, based on how Jon was rubbing his hand, he too would not soon forget it. “Damn it!” Jon roared as he couldn't help but laugh at his own hubris. “Okay, I take everything back; you’re pretty tough there Rare.” “I told you, I can handle myself.” She responded as she flipped her hair to the side. “One really shouldn't judge a book by its cover, darling.” “Yeah, yeah, well if I was twenty years younger, things’d be different, I tell ya that.” He rubbed his palm and stretched his fingers. In truth Jon was right, a big part of why he lost was due to his advanced age. “I just... man, had no idea someone as... well as prissy as you could be so... so, so, so strong.” “Excuse me Jonathan, but the life of a seamstress is a tough and stressful profession, I’ll have you know. It's is not all dainty dinner parties and silk pajamas.” She said, failing to mention that at the same time they were a big part of it. “Why I remember one season I was tasked in making an entire fall line up with the central theme being long skirts and ruffles... I managed to get halfway done when the new fad changed from ruffles to sarong. So I had to scrap the entire idea and start over, but then the pony who commissioned the idea had a hot tip that the new fashion trend that would be popular with all the mares would be ribbons. So I then had to incorporate fanciful ribbons into each design but then Hoity Toity announced that anyone caught dead wearing a long dress would be shunned from the fashion world so I had start all over, again, and work with a slightly shorter design... and that was only after the Victorian look made a come back.” “Jesus.” Jon cringed. “That must have been one stressful year for you.” “Year?” Rarity responded. “Darling please, that was just one week.” Jon slapped his still throbbing hand against his face and dragged it downwards as the crowd laughed. “I never-- see this is exactly why I don’t like the fashion world. I just don’t understand how it works.” He said. “And it even makes less sense over, uh... over in Equestria I mean who-- how does clothes work over there anyway? Most of you guys just walk around... you know, naked anyways so--” “Well it’s simple really... clothing in my world is separated by special occasions and for identification.” Rarity interrupted in an exciting tone; she loved to impart knowledge of fashion whenever possible. “You see... in Equestria ponies, usually, only wear the type of clothes I design for certain types of social gatherings. A trip to the theatre, the grand opening of a museum, a royal audience with the princess, or if I just came up with a new design and want to show it off, or if it’s tuesday, or I just found out that I gained a few pounds and want to hide it by looking fabulous.” “Those last couple of reasons didn’t seem very ‘Special occasiony’” Jon commented. “Well they are to me.” Rarity shot back. “Now where was I? Ah yes; the other reason why we wear clothing is if some type of ceremonial wear or uniform. Judges wear robes, construction workers wear their reflective gear, sports teams wear their uniforms and so on and so on.” “Okay... but who makes the clothing for those ponies?” Jon asked. “Oh, I do.” She said in a tone of voice so blunt it could be a roofing tile. He was so shocked by this sudden revelation he almost choked on the water he was currently in the process of trying to drink. “Excuse me!” Jon said. “You make... all the clothes in Ponyville.” “Well that might be a tad hyperbolic.” Rarity admitted. “I’m sure there are some ponies who import clothing that I don’t have the skills to make myself... but what I can tell you is that a large percentage of clothing worn by ponies in Ponyville come from me.” Looking back on this interview Jon kicked himself for not asking if that also included the ponies who worked in the strip clubs. “That must be... time consuming.” He said. “A drawback for doing something I love yes, but it’s worth it, I assure you.” She commented. “Has such responsibilities ever kept you from... oh I don’t know having fun or doing something just for yourself.” Jon asked. “Occasionally. I remember the year princess Luna came to visit Ponyville for the first time since her return... she did so during the Ponyville Nightmare Night celebration.” Rarity remembered. “Unfortunately I-- “Wait, wait, wait ,wait... are you saying Princess Luna, one of the gods of your world showed up at a Halloween party in Ponyville?” Jon interrupted. “Son of a bitch, I can’t even get a single intern to come to our memorial day office party... I’m sorry continue.” “Yes well as I was saying.” She stammered. “Unfortunately I couldn’t attend this social event because I was too busy making everyone's costumes... well worth it to know that everypony was looking frightfully fabulous.” "Was that your first time doing-- I mean had you uh, had you made party costumes like those before?" Jon asked. "Oh my yes, numerous times... as a matter of fact have you ever heard of a pony called 'Mare do well?'" She asked. "Uh I don't-- can't say that I have." He answered. "Why? Should I?" "I don't expect you to but you see... well to make a awfully long story short I and my friends created this pony persona super hero called 'the mysterious Mare do well.'" She explained. "We each assumed her identify at one point to teach Rainbow Dash a lesson by saving the people of Ponyville and winning their hearts and minds... by doing so we showed young Rainbow Dash that she shouldn't be so boastful and--" "Wait, wait, wait, wait... let me get this straight." Jon interrupted. "So... you and your friends... the Elements of Harmony had a problem with Rainbow Dash and rather than just... oh I don't know, talking to her about it you decide to create a super hero alter ego to out stage her to teach her a lesson in humility and complacency?" "Yes that is correct." Rarity answered. Rubbing his hands across his face Jon took a long sigh before coming back up to look his guest in the eyes with a disbelieving look. "Rarity... do you have a dictionary at your house?" Jon asked. "I... suppose I do." Rarity answered. "Good... after the show when you go back home I want you to look up what 'passive aggressive' means." He ordered. While the crowd once again laughed Rarity looked as if she was moments away from explaining herself, but she never go the chance since at the very moment the laughter had subsided Jon was quick to get back on track. “So uh... getting... getting back to uh, to the topic of you making costumes for all the ponies during Nightmare night... that’s-- I must admit that is very impressive.” He commented. “You must have made a killing that day. “Oh no I did it all for free.” She responded. “Usually I just give discounts to friends but since this was a special occasion I did it all without charge.” “My how... generous of you.” Jon chuckled. “Uh who.... w-w-who would you say is your best customer? Like who do you find is always coming in and out of your shop the most?” This question made Rarity stop and think for a moment. “Hmmm... weeeeell... my best customer is... I’ll be honest this is a difficult question to answer. A lot of my income comes from ponies from neighboring villages or far away towns who have heard of me. I import a lot of clothing so it’s difficult to know off hoof exactly who had paid for my services the most.” She explained while trying to recall what her biggest sale ever was. “If I had to guess I would say the most I’ve ever been paid for a single design would be when Sapphire Shores commissioned me to make a new stage outfit for her completely covered with gems.” “Covered with gems?” Jon asked. “Isn’t that a bit... much?” “Oh not at all. You see one of my unique abilities is I can use my horn to find diamonds and other precious stones underground.” She explained. “Which reminds me; as to your other question: ‘Who spends the most time in my shop’ that would be Spike.” “Spike?” He asked. “I wouldn't have pegged him for a dedicated follower of fashion.” “I wouldn't either, he never buys anything, he only ever comes by to talk to me or see how I’m doing. No idea why he’s so interested in my work when he doesn’t wear clothes, but I welcome him because who could say no to cute little Spikey Wikey’s face!” She said. “And sometimes, if I’m in a good mood, I’ll let him eat a ruby or two out of my chest of gems... those are his favorite.” “Hmmmmm... giving away dresses for free and giving priceless iridescent jewelry to a dragon who eats them?” Jon voiced out loud. “You know... there's being generous and then there's being a sucker.” “Hey! There is nothing wrong with lending a helping hoof to one’s friends.” Rarity said over the laughter of the crowd. “Yes, I give things away for free at times, but as well as trying to be a very important pony I’m also trying to be a very important friend.” “Well you know what Rarity?” Jon asked as he reached out with his good hand to grab her hoof. “As far as I’m concerned you’re both. But listen we’re almost out of time so do-- would you mind if you uh... you know like stayed for an extra five minutes and we’ll throw the rest up on the web?” “Why Jonathan I’m surprised you’d even have to ask.” She said as she shook his hand. “That would be simply devine!” “Alright, maybe I’ll challenge you to a rematch.” He said as he turned to the cameras. “Rarity everyone! We’ll be right back.” And with that both he and Rarity leaned in for another quick peck on the cheek with Rarity looking to the crowd to wave and Jon whispering something into her now attentive ear. The camera began to zoom away but was also in an angle to show off Rarity’s dress. The sound the crowd cheering was so intense that the sound engineers in the back had to do some quick calibrations to account for their being so much noise. Otherwise the sound of the Daily Show logo swooshing its way onto the screen would've been hard to hear. Soon after it faded to black as another commercial took over before the ending credits.