//------------------------------// // Chapter 34 - Sorrow and loss // Story: Shackles and Friendship // by Zaibatsu //------------------------------// Shackles and Friendship Chapter 34 - Sorrow and loss Edited by Hollyhock Pre-read by Hollyhock Illustration by Al3xguerra.deviantart.com (Hollyhock) ‘I’m home.’ I lost track of time just sitting there on my knees, my entire body limp as I stared at my room. It took a while before I realized that my whole being was still engulfed in blue flames while the world remained as colorless as before. Only different shades of gray gave clue to what things in the room were, though I could easily use my memory to fill them in. “This can’t be real,” I mumbled. Much as I wanted to believe - and I would give anything for it to be - it’s just.....not. Considering the how things appeared it would probably be more realistic to call the whole thing a dream. An extremely lucid one. After some time the shock eventually faded away letting me think more clearly. I began by inspecting myself, specifically the flames dancing all over me. The unnatural blue hue certainly suggested that it was my magic; but then where did it come from? Prior to making it I was completely devoid of magic and it didn’t look like I could control it. The inconsistency further suggested that the whole thing, what I was experiencing wasn’t real. Realizing I wasn’t really going anywhere, I turned my attention to my surroundings. I scrutinized every detail, every crack and stain that I knew hoping to detect anything that might give me a clue as to what it was all about. Though most of what I remembered about my room was there, I also noticed something different. Nothing visual though, it was more like a feeling. Aside from a epic dose of nostalgia and homesickness, my instinct kept prodding the back of my mind but I just couldn’t put my finger on it. There was just something off about my room. But before I could ponder on it further, something disrupted the silence. Nothing loud or sudden, in fact it was just in the edge of my hearing, too subtle for me to notice until then. Having spent nearly two-thirds of my life in that house, I was able to immediately tell it came from the living room below. Voices. “Mom! Dad!” Despite already telling myself it couldn’t be real, I couldn’t contain the excitement and joy of seeing my family again. I immediately pushed myself back up and was ready to leap out the door and run down the stairs. But as soon I stood up everything around me suddenly swirled about like dust being blown away. All the grey that seemed to make up the place kept circling around me as if I was caught in the very center of a whirling tornado of gray ash. The next moment I started to hear voices. At first they were too muffled to discern but growing louder with every passing moment. Just as quick as it had begun, the dust started to settle, shadows started to form and I could already make out the rough image of a large chair in front of me. In a second or two everything fell into place and like before, I immediately recognized the living room. A person stood leaning on the chair in front of me, a man with large shoulders with a bit of fat in his stomach. “Dad.” It was most certainly him, he had shaved his mustache but it was definitely him. He was silent and just stared to the left, from his eyes I could tell he was somewhere deep in thought. “Dad!!” I shouted as I reached out to grab his shoulder, only for it to pass right through. His shoulder and half his head was blown away just like dust before it regrouped and fell back into place. He didn’t react whatsoever, just kept staring off somewhere. “DAD!!” I screamed again, louder even but he didn’t even bat an eye. I reached out over and over again, even tried punching him out of desperation but no matter what I did he just wouldn’t look at me. Like before, I was too engrossed on what was in front of me to notice my surroundings. Only then did I realize the number of people around me. The whole living room was packed with gray figures of people standing about. People I knew. “Mr.Andrew?” My high school math teacher. “Dr.Song?” My pediatrician, who was also a family friend. “What the hell!?” Everywhere I looked there were people I had some relationship with. Uncles, aunts, childhood friends, college friends, hell even the lady from the dinner I frequently visit. I then noticed they all wore formal dark attires. “No....” I leaped at Jo, a beautiful redhead who I’ve had a crush on since middle school. “Jo I’m right here! Please tell me you can see me! Hear me!” Nothing. She just stared at her empty cup in silence next to someone, and just like my father I couldn’t touch her. “Jerry!” I shouted recognizing the man next to her. He was a skinny blonde and one of the oldest friends I’d ever had. “C’mon dude! You’ve got that psychic supernatural aunt of yours, tell me that shit runs in the family!” Nothing. He looked right through me as if I didn’t exist. “C’MON!!!” I bellowed. “Anyone!! Please for the love of...,” and then I saw her. “Mom?” Like everyone else, she too wore something formal and dark. She sat on the sofa with aunt Lydia next to her looking extremely distraught. There was something different about her, she looked older than I remembered with more wrinkles on her face and less color in her hair. She was staring at a large picture frame standing on the table in front of her with fresh tears covering her cheeks. Slowly and fearfully I started walking towards her, I had my suspicion but I still had to see it. I moved around once I reached the table and sure enough, the large frame held a picture of me. It was my grieving. “Oh god please no,” I crouched and looked right at my mother’s eyes. “Please tell me you didn’t give up. Tell me you’re still looking.” Tears continued to flow endlessly as she gazed lovingly at the frame, oblivious that I was right in front of her. “I’m not dead! Don’t give up!” I reached out with my burning hand and caressed her cheek trying to wipe her tears away, but even that was denied to me. Like fire to gasoline the sight of my shackled hand ignited an anger I never knew was possible. With clenched teeth I immediately started ripping the chains off, hoping that somehow they were the only things preventing me from going home. I desperately tried sticking my fingers under but they were bound too tight. I even went so far as to bite at them. But no matter what I did, no matter how hard I pulled and struggled they just wouldn’t come off. They didn’t even budge or slide over as if it had fused together with my skin. My failure only added more fuel to the rage, I clenched my hands into fists and ground my teeth. In response the flames covering my body fluctuated and grew, seeming to cause a rippling effect over the scenery. By the time I got back up to my feet everything was deforming to a point where it looked like I was seeing through distorted glass. “I’LL FUCKING KILL YOU!!!” I screamed with both hands fisted at the side. “You think this is funny!? Are you enjoying this you sick fuck!!” I didn’t know who I was screaming at, and I really didn’t care if it was god, destiny, fate or whatever. I had to vent out all this anger and rage from the torture of witnessing my own grieving and being reminded of what I’d lost. All the anguish and sorrow, having everything taken away; the pain that had been healing came anew. “Why don’t you just kill me?! Why put me through all this!? You took everything! Ripped me away from home! For what!? FUCKING PONIES!?” I didn’t know why but I waited, expecting an answer I knew would never come. “AAAAAAAAAAAHH!!!” Maddened with rage I started screaming and bellowing without restraint, the flames continued to reach higher resembling a blue pillar more than anything else. The more it grew the greater the ripples and eventually everything became too warped to make out. Despite how radiant and large the fire grew, the dark from before slowly creeped back towards me, eating the gray world bit by bit. But I didn’t care, I fell back to my knees and started pounding the nonexistent floor with my fists. Like living slime the darkness crept up my leg and slowly worked its way up my body and to my face, snuffing out the fire as it went. Just before it all faded away, I caught a last clear glimpse of my mother’s face still wet with tears. One last torment before the darkness swallowed me again. “You two need to calm down,” commented Spike as he watched the two mares trot around in restlessly in a circle. Twilight and Shine turned their attention to the young dragon as he stretched and yawned in one of the chairs attached to the wall of the hospital. “Calm!? How can you be so carefree like that?” Twilight shot her hoof to point at the red light above the large double doors nearby. “Rodney’s in critical condition right now! Who knows how serious his injuries are!” “Didn’t you see the guards carrying him here?” added Shine with the same level of worry. “There was so much blood, who knows how serious his injuries are.” Shine closed her eyes and shivered in fright. “What’s more....,” Twilight started. “Princess Celestia is coming here,” finished Shine. “She ordered me to keep close watch over him and now he might not make it!” “And I was suppose to keep him out of trouble, he was in my charge!” Twilight continued. “When the Princess finds out...” “She’ll probably send me to the old dungeon!” “Or send me back to magic kindergarden!” ‘Ah great, now there’s two of them,’ thought Spike shaking his head in disbelief. “I never said I wasn’t worried,” Spike started in an attempt to calm the mares, “but how does fretting around accomplish anything? He’s in the hospital being treated as we speak and Princess Luna is dealing with the dragon, so everything that needs to be done has been done. If you ask me I’m more worried about all those royal guards, they got it worse than anypony else.” Spike turned to gaze down the long white hallway towards the far side where a multitude of ponies are rushing back and forth in a hurry. Most were nurses tending to the less injured of guard while doctors from the town and Canterlot dealt with the more serious injuries. Thankfully nopony lost their lives, no doubt due to the heroic actions of a particular cyan pegasus. “I...I suppose you’re right,” Twilight let out a sigh. “I just wish there was more that I could do for-” she voice suddenly cut off her eyes widening in surprise. “Princess Luna!” Both Spike and Shine turned their heads to down the hallway just as the dark alicorn turned the corner towards them followed by a pair of night guards. Despite fighting a dragon there were little signs upon the regent that would suggest such a battle with only a few darker patches over her coat, an indication of how one sided it was. Spike made his way to stand beside Twilight before all three gave a respectful bow in unison. “Princess Luna,” they greeted. “Twilight Sparkle, Spike, and if I’m not mistaken; your name is Shine Bright.” Twilight couldn’t help but smile noticing that the Princess was speaking in a more up-to-date manner. “Yes, your majesty. It’s an honor you remember,” replied Shine reverently. “Uhm, Princess,” Twilight spoke as she got back up, “should you be here? I mean, what about the dragon?” “Worry not Twilight, I have taken measures to keep him restraint for questioning. He is currently under watch afar from Ponyville. Celestia is dealing with another matter and I am here in her stead.” “Oh, I see.” Twilight couldn’t help but wonder what could be more important that her mentor couldn’t oversee the first dragon attack since the treaty. “How is he? I wish to know of Rodney’s condition.” Luna looked onto the red light above the doors. “Are the doctors still administering treatment?” “Hm? Oh, yes they are. Along with the town veterinarian; Dr.Mane Goodall.” Luna looked at Twilight with a raised brow. “Well none of the doctors here know how to properly treat him due to limited knowledge of his physiology. Since Dr.Mane has experience dealing with a variety of animals, they believe she could offer some insight in the mat-.” Before Twilight could finish the light above the light suddenly winked out. Soon enough, the doors opened revealing an earth mare and a stallion unicorn wearing white doctor’s garment. Twilight and Shine flinched when they saw how much blood marred their clothes. The unicorn was of average build with a cream colored coat with a brown mane and tail, as per his vocation he also bore a mark depicting a heart monitor. The mare had a light golden coat while her mane and tail were two shades of blue. It was obvious she was the vet based on her mark which consist of three animals; a dog’s head, a cat’s head, and a small white bird. “Princess Luna?” spoke the stallion in surprise. He and the mare immediately gave a bow to the monarch. “We can skip the formalities good doctor, I wish to know of the human’s well being.” “Of course Your Highness,” the stallion gave a small cough as he started to speak as a professional. “I am Dr.Stable and this,” he pointed to the mare with a hoof, “is Dr.Goodall.” “Your Highness,” greeted the mare. “Thanks to her advice as a vet we were able to properly examine and treat the human,” continued Stable. “Not being able to rely on our spells or machines made it rather challenging but we can safely say that he’ll be fine.” Twilight and Shine let out an audible sigh of relief. “Wait a minute. If you didn't use magic then how were you able to perform an operation on him?” asked Twilight. Dr.Goodall looked at Twilight in confusion, “Operation? Why would we need to operate on him?” “But...but he was bleeding everywhere,” answered Twilight. “And isn’t this room reserved for critical treatment?” Shine added. Both doctor’s eyes widened slightly in realization. “Oh that was very thoughtless of me,” spoke Dr.Stable. “I should’ve explained earlier. No we did not operate on him or conduct any invasive procedures, there was no need.” “The blood wasn’t his,” explained Dr.Goodall, “It’s dragonblood. His injuries mainly involve a somewhat significant amount of muscle damage along with some minor internal bleeding but it’s nothing life threatening. He also suffered some lacerations but they’re mostly superficial, one or two required a bit of stitching but again, nothing serious.” “We also suspect some minor fractures on one or two bones but until we get proper skeletal imaging done we’ll have to work with him to know for sure; As for the room well, with the all guards and townsfolk being administered to, there’s no place else to do it. I apologize for not informing you earlier.” “There is however, something that concerns us,” added Dr.Goodall in a way that made Twilight and Shine’s ears twitch. “The examination went perfectly fine since the patient remained unconscious, however we couldn’t figure out why. We hoped it’s due to the amount of mental stress and exhaustion he suffered. We agreed to let him be for the time being and wait for any development.” Dr.Stable turned to face to Luna. “Will that be all Your Highness?” “It is, thank you doctors,” answered Luna with an approving nod. “I better join the others then. I may be a vet but I know enough to help out.” With another bow Dr.Goodall turned and trotted down the hallway towards the commotion. “May we see him?” Shine asked. “Of course,” answered Dr.Stable. “But keep in mind he is still in recovery. If you’ll follow me, I’ll take you to his-” before she could finish there came hoofsteps from the corner as two familiar ponies came into view. “Twilight!” shouted the white filly as she started to gallop. “Is Rodney ok?” She skidded to a halt several feet away once she realized Luna’s presence, before giving a rather awkward and hurried bow. Following behind her was Rarity who looked completely rattled from the incident. She still had several mane rollers dangling from her head while a few splotches of beauty night products covered her face. Realizing royalty was near her entire body glowed momentarily together with her horn as she hurriedly fixed her appearance with a spell. The rollers flew away while the makeup disappeared without a trace, making her look as elegant and pristine as ever. “Princess Luna,” she greeted with a perfect bow trying her best to remain composed. “Princess Luna,” repeated Sweetie Belle after receiving a small nudge from Rarity. “Rarity, bearer of Generosity. It is good to see you unharmed.” “No doubt thanks to you Princess,” she replied before getting back up. “I don’t mean to sound ungrateful, but Sweetie Belle told me Rodney was here? I am awfully worried about him.” “Of course not, in fact I came for that very same reason.” Luna tilted her head towards the doctor and the group. “We have just learned that he is not in any danger.” “So he’ll be ok!?” shouted Sweetie Belle ecstatically with a small hop. “He is, child,” answered Luna smiling pleasantly. “If you’ll follow me,” spoke Dr.Stable a second time, “I can take you to him.” Without a word Sweetie Belle galloped right past Luna to stand beside the doctor. “Sweetie Belle!” scolded Rarity in a quiet tone. “Please excuse her Your Majesty.” “Tis alright, it warms my heart to see her care so dearly for him.” “Thank you Your Highness.” Rarity gave another bow before joining the group. “Twilight,” called Luna just before the doctor was about to show them the way. “A word please.” “You guys go ahead, I’ll catch up later.” “He’ll be in room two-eleven, just ask any of the nurses for directions” “Thank you doctor.” With that they all started following the doctor away, leaving behind Twilight alone with Luna. The monarch waited until they turned the corner before she started speaking. “Is it broken?” The question caught her off guard. “What?” “The band Twilight, is it broken?” Twilight looked hesitantly at the two guards behind the alicorn. “Do not worry, they are trustworthy. Now answer the question.” “No, it isn’t,” she answered nervously. “Well, actually I’m....not so sure.” One of Luna’s brow rose slightly. Twilight lifted her right hoof in front of her and with a simple spell parted the fur near her knee. There, perfectly hidden under the fur, was a small metal string that tied around her limb. From afar it would appear to be a regular metal wiring, but if one were to take a closer look they would notice the many minute yet detailed runes etched all over the surface. Something impossible to do without the aid of magic. “It’s not broken, but it’s also not active,” she explained. “I don’t know what’s happened to it.” “Likely a precaution.” “A precaution?” “From Celestia. I wager she implemented a spell to take effect should the band fail. Or close to it. Likely the band is simply inactive or something similar to such. Perhaps it is also the reason for Rodney’s continued unconsciousness, in order to keep him in sedated should our fears prove true.” “But he wasn’t! In fact he was risking his life to protect us!” realizing she was shouting aloud to royalty, Twilight quickly quieted herself. “True. But that is not enough.” “How is that not enough?” “Because it’s not his character that we fear Twilight. The Rodney that we currently know may perhaps be worthy of our trust, especially with this feat. But the real question lies in whether he remains so once he discovers his real potential.” “I....don’t understand.” Luna let out a sigh. “Power corrupts Twilight Sparkle. Believe me, I know.” Though it was brief, Twilight detected a pained look from Luna. “Princess that was a long-” “I do not wish to talk about it,” Luna cut in. She took a long deep breath as she dismissed those memories. “But back to the matter at hoof. If I understand the situation correctly, it is likely that Rodney has yet to discover our secret. It is best that you bind him before he awakes and discovers the truth.” “Princess I don’t....I’m not comfortable with this anymore.” Twilight started fidgeting with her front hooves nervously. “I understand why it needs to be done but this....it’s causing him so much pain.” “I know Twilight Sparkle. You have developed a relationship with one another.” Twilight’s cheeks went from purple to beet red in a second. “We-we’re not in a relationship! Who said anything about a relationship!?” Luna’s brow rose again. “I speak of friendship and trust Twilight.” Twilight’s eyes widened. “Oh, uhm...yes of course you are,” she quickly spoke feeling very embarrassed. “By doing this, you feel as though you are betraying him.” Twilight’s ears fell to the side as her head sunk low. “....Yes.” “It is unfair I know, but I still ask this of you. Celestia and I cannot risk the possibility of him going rogue, especially with his potential. Until we know for certain, measures must be taken. To simply trust him is too great a risk.” As a pony of reason and logic, Twilight perfectly understood Luna’s reasonings. But that didn’t make it any less easy, especially knowing how much pain it caused him. “I.....I understand Your Highness,” spoke Twilight in a low tone. “I’ll find a way to do it tonight.” “Thank you Twilight,” Luna bent low and whispered in the unicorn’s ear in a comforting tone. “I know this is difficult for you. But it’s for the best.” “Yes Princess.” Luna gave her a gentle smile before finally turning around and trotting away leaving Twilight alone with her thoughts. ‘Guess I’ll have to wait till everypony’s asleep,’ she thought before another entered her mind. “Uh, Princess,” Twilight called. “Yes?” replied Luna as she glanced back. “If you don’t mind me asking, who made the band? I’ve never seen anything like it.” “I did,” Luna answered causally. “The very idea was mine alone Twilight.” “Really?” “Yes, though I originally wanted Rodney to be aware of it. But, Celestia convinced me otherwise. Is that all?” “Uhm, yes. Thank you.” “Good night Twilight,” spoke Luna as she turned and continued on her way. “Good night Your Majesty.” With her task weighing heavy in her heart, Twilight turned and trotted in the opposite direction to catch up with the rest. Pain. That was the first thing that greeted me when I finally regained consciousness. Even before I opened my eyes I was assaulted from every part of my body, but I felt relieved by it. It was living pain, one from bruised muscles, torn skin, and contusions, something that could only be felt if you are alive. With a slight grunt I cracked open an eye only to find darkness all around me. For a moment I thought I was still in that dark place but then I noticed the faint light emanating from my left. I looked and saw a series of windows that nearly covered the wall from side to side, outside I saw the moon silently hovering in the sky giving just enough light to illuminate the room. Ignoring the painful protests of my body I pushed up to a sitting position and observed my surroundings. With the smell of antiseptic heavy in the air and the decoration of the room it was obvious I was in a hospital. Especially since I was wearing nothing but a single piece gown that resembled a table cloth. In fact the frills on the edges certainly suggested I was wearing one. There were bandages covering nearly my entire upper body and I could smell the scent of medicine from them. Then I remembered. The dream, my home, my family. My grieving. I looked at my hands and sure enough the shackles were still there. Like opening the floodgates all the rage, anguish, and anger came rushing back. I clenched my fist and tightened my body pulling every muscle causing them to protest further. Without any thought or intent blue flames erupted from my hands and started spreading up my arm. I could ‘feel’ the magic continuing to build up, drawing from my reserve more and more till the fire illuminated the entire room. That’s when I spotted a small bundle of fur curled up at the end of the bed. Right between my legs was a small white filly laying on her belly with legs wrapped under, while her body rose up and down as she slept. For a moment everything stopped, my mind went blank as I watched her. “Sweetie Belle,” I mumbled. I took my eyes off her and gave the room a second glance. On the floor against the far wall lay several mattresses and pillows with ponies sleeping on them. I spotted Twilight, Spike, Rarity and even the brown earth mare that brought me the sapphire, all covered in blankets, their chests moving rhythmically as they breathed. My attention turned back to Sweetie Belle when she let out a small mewing sound with a slight shiver. Like water snuffing a fire, all that rage I had felt a few seconds before just melted away. It was unfair, I couldn’t even have someone to blame, something to focus all that anger. She was innocent; they’re all innocent. With a long breath to calm myself, I siphoned all the magic back before my emotions got the better of me. Had I remained crazed with anger I would have definitely done something I’d regret. “Sweetie Belle,” I mumbled a second time. What was it about this kid? She was the one who kept me from running away when the dragon came. I could remember how furious I became when I imagined Falnor harming her, enough to motivate me through the encounter. Now even the sight of her sleeping form was enough to quench my emotions, to stop me before I made a grave mistake. Was it simply because I grew to care for her? It was inevitable that I’d form some kind of bond with those ponies as time passed by. But why did I care so much for her to risk my life? Even back home there were very few people I’d care enough to go that far. Because I lived and shared my daily life with her? Or maybe I’d unintentionally used her as a substitute, something to replace and act as a buffer for the things I’d lost. I shook my head dismissing that train of thought, it was too much to think with my emotions going haywire like that. I continued to gaze at the filly for a moment before stretching out my hand towards her. Ignoring the aches and pain from my arm, I cast a levitation on the filly causing blue fire to burst out of thin air and wrap itself around her whole body. Unlike before where the fire danced about erratically, now the flames spread like water barely flickering and appearing more like smoke or mist. With a thought, I carefully lifted the filly and pulled her towards me keeping her hovering a feet or so from the bed. I settled her to my left just next to my body causing her to stir, but luckily she didn’t wake. Pulling my blanket over her, I slowly laid back and rested my head on the pillow while gently placing my left hand on the back of her head, just behind her small horn. I could feel her mane and coat on my skin, silky and soft like a plush toy, yet warm to the touch. Sensing the warmth of my body she repositioned herself to push against me causing her horn to poke somewhat irritably at my side. With my hand still on her I felt her body rise with each breath and eventually my breathing joined her rhythm. Sleep didn’t come easy, even though Sweetie Belle might have helped rid my anger, it did nothing to soften the anguish. I fell into the sorrow and loss once again, all the turmoil and heartache of losing everything rekindled. It was inevitable to feel some anger and animosity from that, but every time I would focus on the filly sleeping peacefully next to me, and everytime it would all go away. Sleep may not have come easy, but at least the nightmare didn’t return. Just the usual dream of red meat.