The world of ponies known as Equestria was a much different place than the world of man, one such difference was their solar cycles which were synched differently. Jon reflected on this as he and Rainbow dash walked (Or rather he walked, she flew) down the empty streets of Ponyville.
Back in New York it was in the late afternoon with the sun almost out of sight, but here in Ponyville the day had barely started. This wasn't the first time Jon experienced this phenomenon. He recalled on how in the past he would arrive in Equestria and it would be morning when back at home it was still night time.
He wondered if their day had fewer hours or vice versa, or maybe if it had something to do their sun being controlled by their own leader. If he had more free time in his schedule Jon would've asked his good friend Neil Degrasse Tyson to figure it out but as of late time was something he had very little of.
At first Jon found it annoying, mostly in part because it affected his own biological clock, but today he was gracious since it meant no one but Rainbow Dash (And soon Twilight) would know that he was here unannounced.
Jon was still not entirely familiar with the layout of Ponyville which meant that Rainbow Dash was a few feet in front of him guiding him along the path to Twilight's house. Eventually some landmarks started to jump out at him, their familiarity a welcomed change. One in particular being Sugercube Corner which they passed and they rounded a corner.
Soon their route led them to a familiar street leading to a humble tree. A tree which had a house partially built inside it where a certain lavender pony and her scaly assistant resigned. The two approached the structure and began to knock on the door loudly enough so the residents could hear them but not so loudly that it would wake up anyone else in town.
After no one answered they tried again, this time they could hear a noise coming from upstairs. They waited to see if someone would answer the door with Rainbow Dash flying in place and Jon looking behind him to see if they were truly alone. He noticed that the sun was just barely rising over the horizon and the birds were beginning to chirp. For most Equestrian citizens it was almost time to wake up but for Jon it was well past his bed time.
The sound of doors opening from overhead caught their attention. Jon took a step back and looked up just in time to see a sleepy looking Twilight Sparkle rubbing her eyes as she peered over her balcony.
"Huh?...w-who's there?" She said with a yawn.
"Hey bed head." Jon called out. "Howsabout you let us inside huh?"
"Wha-- huh! Jon? Jon Stewart is that you?" Twilight said. "And Rainbow dash? Wha-what are you two doing here?"
"We're here to see if you've heard the good news about our lord and savior." He said jokingly, getting nothing in return. "Actually I'll explain later...you don't mind if we come in do you?"
"Oh uh...not at all," she said as she straightened her mane.. "Just give me a second I'll have Spike prepare us some drinks or something."
Twilight disappeared back into her house, calling out for Spike to wake up. Jon leaned against the tree sensing that it might be awhile before she came down. Rainbow Dash seemed to have felt the same way, her impatience got the better of her resulting in her flying overhead and through Twilight's balcony door leaving Jon alone for the time being.
He cupped his hand in front of his face and breathed into them to keep himself warm. Soon the front door opened and Jon was greeted by his old friend Twilight.
"It really is you!" She said with a smile. "Welcome back to Equestria! Won't you come in?" The two entered the house whereupon she offered him a seat that he respectfully declined since it was about three sizes too small for him. Rainbow Dash now joined them but Twilight didn't offer her the seat since she knew first hand that she preferred to fly.
"Thanks Twilight," Jon said. "Sorry if I woke you up but I need your help."
"Oh that's alright Mr. Stewart, anything for a friend. I have a full day ahead of as it is," she responded as she went around putting abandoned books back on their shelves." And thanks to you I can get started on my list of things to do an hour early...although if I do that there's a good chance I'll have an extra hour of nothing to do. I suppose I could work in some last minute busy work to make up for that time but who knows how long that will take...maybe if I use this as an opportunity to explore possible scenarios where a correlation can be made between--"
"Uh Twilight I don't mean to be rude but I'm kind of in a hurry." Jon interrupted with a tired smile while Rainbow Dash shook her head.
"OH, of course! I'm so sorry." She said with embarrassment. "Now then, you needed my help."
"Yeah weeell it's like this...actually let me start from the beginning." Jon said. "You see it all started when I came back to Equestria to handle some business with the Daily Show...I won’t bore you with the details but I ended up in Cloudsdale."
"Oh Mr. Stewart don't be silly," She said dismissively as she continued to organize her library. "Only a Pegasus can go to Cloudsdale...if anypony else even tried they'd just...fall right through" She looked back over at Jon and saw that he had a worrisome look about him like he was remembering something tragic.
"Yeeeeeah let's just say I had to learn that the hard way." He replied with a shudder.
"Oh...OH!" Twilight said almost dropping a book on agriculture. She noticed that Jon looked as if he had been in the middle of a wind tunnel and that he had a few scrapes on his face. "Oh my goodness are you alright!?"
"Yeah I'm fine now, thanks to this one over here" Jon answered, pointing to Rainbow Dash. "She caught me right before I turned into a human pancake."
"Oh well that's-- wait, what were you doing in Cloudsdale anyway?" Twilight asked.
"Long story. All you need to know is I have a show soon and I was looking for the next guest to appear on Equestrian Interviews," Jon answered. "But my plans kind of fell through, no pun intended, and luckily for me ol' Dashie here was patrolling the area so she saved my ass."
"Oh I see...thank Celestia she happened to be around!" Twilight said with a sigh of relief. She directed her attention to Rainbow Dash who was hovering nearby. "Good work Rainbow! Sometimes I wonder what we'd do without you."
Rainbow Dash didn't say anything back; she merely flew in place with her cheeks puffed out like a squirrel with too many acorns in its mouth. Twilight waited for to comment on her heroic accomplishment but she remained silent.
"Um...are you ok Rainbow Dash?" She asked. The multicolored Pegasus again refused to say anything, instead deciding to cross her arms and look away.
"Yeah she's been like that ever since we came into town," Jon interjected as he sat on the floor. "She's holding her breath cause she doesn't want to say anything till tomorrow when she's on the show. She's afraid she'll say something totally awesome then won't be able to say it again on live TV cause it'll sound rehearsed...her words not mine."
Normally Twilight would have lectured her on the importance of inhaling oxygen and exhaling carbon dioxide but she was momentarily overwhelmed with Joy.
"Oh I had no idea she was the pony you were looking for!" Twilight said. Jon almost mentioned that he was originally looking for Fluttershy, but for the sake of the moment he decided not to and let her have her moment in the spotlight.
"Oh Rainbow I'm so happy for you. I know it's what you've wanted for awhile now...if you'd like I can coach you on what to expect...I mean I have been to the human world before and I've since then been boning up on my knowledge of human culture." Twilight said, unaware that Rainbow Dash was slowly starting to change color. "Like did you know that humans actually evolved from subset of animals known as primates millions of years ago? I'm sure if you talked about that during your segment they'll think you're very--"
Before she could finish her lecture Rainbow Dash fell to the ground. The lack of oxygen made it harder and harder for her to keep herself in the air.
"OH NO! Breath Rainbow Dash, breath!" Twilight pleaded as she shook her back and forth. Eventually she drew breath before getting the chance to pass out, though she was still a bit woozy from it all. Jon just watched as Twilight tried to get her to breath more by pressing on her stomach, he wondered if every day was like this in Equestria.
"Don't scare me like that, Rainbow!" Twilight scolded.
"Yeah yeah whatever," Rainbow Dash said as she once again flew up in the air. "Oh stop looking at me like that...I'm fine!"
"I don't know bout that," Jon interjected. "You still look kinda blue to me." Twilight giggled to herself while Rainbow Dash crossed her hooves and turned her back on the two.
"Ha ha veeery funny," She said, looking over her shoulder to stick out her tongue. "I'll remember that the next time I see you falling down helplessly."
"Bring it on, tiny!" Jon shot back comically. "You may be half my age but I'm also twice your size! I think I can take you!" Sensing that he was only joking she flew up beside him and began to throw a couple of punches his way, purposely missing each blow.
"Guys, guys, stop this!" Twilight pleaded, not getting that they were only playing around. "This is no time to be fighting. Rainbow you finally got your chance to go on TV like you wanted! This is cause for celebration!...Now where is Spike with those drinks?"
Directing her attention upwards she could now hear the familiar sound of Spike snoring from the upstairs room.
"SPIIIIKE! Get up, we have guests!" Twilight yelled, before shaking her head. "Ugh that dragon! I swear if he had his way all he would do is sleep and eat ice cream."
Jon would have spoken on his behalf but admittedly she had a point. The last time he was in Equestria he found him sleeping on the job.
"I'll wake his ass up!" Rainbow Dash said as she made gestures like she was pulling up invisible sleeves. Within an instant she had already flown up to Twilight and Spike's room where she gently placed both her hooves under his small bed.
"WAKE UP SCALE-BUTT!" She yelled as she flipped his bed over causing him to tumble halfway down the stairs.
"Rain Bow Dashington the third!" Twilight scolded as she rushed to Spike's aid. "I really wish you wouldn't so rough with Spike! He's just a kid!"
"Ah ease up will ya, he's fiiiiine!" She shot back. "Aint that right, shrimp?" Flying in closer she rubbed her hoof against his head making him even more dizzy than he already was.
Finally after grabbing his head to stop the spinning Spike could now see clearly what was going on.
"OW! What the heck Rainbow Dash?" He said as he rubbed his head. "Why did you...wait is that...is that you, Jon?"
Sitting on the floor Jon didn't say anything back but instead waved at Spike while sporting a very goofy looking grin which only looked more comical when combined with his tired looking eyes.
"Jon, it is you! You're back!" He yelled as she raced across the room to greet his quest who in turn welcomed him with open arms.
With Spike being about a third Jon's height all attempts on his part to give him a hug were usually met with difficulty, the highest he could ever reach was probably just above his knee. In addition their weight difference meant any attempt to tackle him would be like a puppy going up against a brick wall. This time around however, since Jon was already sitting on the floor and was exhausted from lack of sleep, when Spike launched himself at him it resulted in the two crashing to the ground.
"It's...good to see you again too," Jon said, finding it hard to speak with Spike's tiny arms wrapped around his neck in a hugging embrace. His tail was wagging with glee and the scales on the side of his head were standing straight upwards. Even in his weakened state Jon still found the strength to get back up, pull Spike off and give him a playful headlock and noogie.
Feeling slightly left out Rainbow Dash flew in and grabbed Jon's arms from behind just long enough for Spike to jump on his face. All this rough housing was too much Twilight so she went to the kitchen to get the drinks herself. She emerged a few second later to find the three playing "keep-away" with Jon's left shoe.
"Ahem!" Twilight said, using her magic to hold up a tray of beverages. "I could use some help here, please." All three got up to help with Spike being the first to grab a cup.
"Uh uh uh, not you Mr. Stewart." Twilight added. "You are a guest here, we should be serving you." Using her magic again she levitated a glass of water to Jon.
"Thank you very much," an out of breath Jon said. "And if you know what's good for ya you'll call me 'Jon.'"
She agreed and lifted her drink into the air.
"A toast to Rainbow Dash," She said. "Here's hoping she has a wonderful time in New York." All three downed their drink with Spike finishing last.
"Is that why you're here Jon?" He asked. "To get Rainbow Dash on your show?"
"Oh that's right! I completely forgot!" Twilight said with a gasp. "Jon you came here because you needed my help!...I'm sorry, I guess I got caught up in all the excitement."
"It's alright." Jon said. "But now that you mention I would like to get down to business for a second."
"Absolutely." She retorted. "So...what can I do for you today?"
Jon knew he had to go about this very carefully; what he was about to ask of her was highly unorthodox and could very easily backfire on him.
"Yeah you see I uh...I kinda need you to send me back to New York?" Jon answered sheepishly. "Like, right now if you can...you see I'm sort of stuck here at the moment."
The gang was momentarily at a loss for words, it wasn't everyday that famous celebrities from other worlds came to Twilight's house requesting such an enormous task.
"Wait what...y-you're stuck here?" Twilight asked. "I don't understand."
"Well remember when I said I had that unfortunate run in with gravity earlier today?" Jon asked getting a nod of acknowledgment in return. "Well you see during my free skydiving lesson I accidentally lost my damn phone...and well as you can imagine I can't exactly call Triple A to come bail my ass out soooo that's where you come in."
"Oh I see. Well I am sorry to hear this but I think Princess Celestia would be a more appropriate pony to be asking for this kind of thing." Twilight said sounding concerned while at the same time humble. "I may be skilled with magic but I'm sure she'll do a much better job than me...as a matter of fact we could ask her right now...Spike could you please take a letter."
Almost as if he pulled it out of thin air Spike produced a piece of paper and a quill, signaling that he was ready to go.
"Now then," Twilight said, clearing her trough. "Dear Princess Celestia...I am writing to you because--"
"Actually about that," Jon interrupted by putting his hand over Spike's writing. "Princess Celestia can't know I'm here."
The two ponies and Spike starred at Jon, each of them looking rather confused.
"She can't know you're--Wait...the princess doesn't know you're here?" Twilight asked.
"No...no she doesn't." Jon answered with a shrug. The three mythical creatures shot each other slightly worried looks before going back to staring at their human friend.
"So wait a minute...why can't she know you're here in the first place?" Twilight asked. Of course Jon knew why he didn't want Celestia to know of his being here. If she did she would question him about how he arrived in the first place and that would mean she might find out that Trixie in his world without permission...something which Celestia deemed to be a crime.
Even though Jon was furious with Trixie for almost killing him he had a promise to keep that he wouldn't rat her out...plus if Celestia took her away now Jon wouldn't get the chance to kick her ass all up and down Manhattan.
"I uh...I can't tell you why." Jon answered. This made Twilight look uneasy.
"And speaking of which," Rainbow Dash interjected. "If the princess doesn't know you're here then how the bucking hell did you get all the way up in Cloudsdale anyway?"
"I uh...I can't tell you how I did that." Jon answered.
"Uh Jon...why are you being so secretive all of sudden?" Spike asked, sounding worried about his friend's current state.
"...I can't talk to you about that either." Jon answered now feeling guilty for leaving his friends in the dark.
"Jon...are you..." Twilight said pausing a moment to look around. "Are you in some kind of trouble or something?"
"No, no, no it's nothing like that," Jon insisted as he waved his hands back and forth. "Look It's just...look I know I'm asking a lot here but I wouldn't be putting you in this kind of situation if I really didn't need your help...I know it's a tall order but at the moment all I need for you to do is send me back home and tell no one I was here."
An uncomfortable silence fell upon the room with only the sounds of Rainbow Dash's wings willing the void.
"Just...please do this for me Twilight and I'll owe you big time! I'll uh...I'll take you to the Library of Congress the next time you're in town!" Jon pleaded. "All you have to do is send me back home where I'll call Celestia and tell her I want Rainbow Dash and that'll be the end of it...I promise."
"...And I can't tell anypony that you were here?" Twilight asked. "Even Princess Celestia?"
"Especially Princess Celestia." He added.
"I don't feel comfortable about this, Jon." She said in a low voice. "I don't like keeping secretes from the princess...I mean what if she--"
"Oh don't be such a kill joy, Twi!" Rainbow Dash interrupted. "It's not like this is just anypony asking its Jon Stewart we're talking about here."
"Yeah Twilight let's help him!" Spike added. "He's our friend! And friends always help friends out of a jam."
"Ooooh I don't know..." She said as she rubbed her chin.
"Oh come one Twilight this may be my only chance to get on TV!" Rainbow Dash insisted. "So whaddya say Twi? Will you do it...for me...pleeeeeaaaaase?"
Twilight found it very difficult to say no to just one friend, so three was almost impossible.
"...And exactly how big is this 'Library of Congress?'" She asked as she continued to rub her chin.
"Enormous...it's like one of the biggest libraries in the entire human world!" Jon answered. "Went there once when I was in college...almost got lost." Twilight's eyes grew with interest.
It was very tempting and while she thought about it some more all three beggars huddled together to give Twilight an innocent smile complete with puppy eyes...the dangers of peer pressure proved to be too strong for twilight.
"Oh alright...I'll do it." Twilight said causing everyone in the room to jump and cheer. "But remember Jon you owe me...big!"
"Absolutely! Thank you so much." He said as she grabbed both her hooves and gave them a shake.
"Alright, so we're all in agreement that this secret is just between us!" Rainbow Dash said as she hocked a pile of spit onto her hoof. "Let's shake on it!"
"Hear, hear!" Jon said as he spit in his palm which made Spike do the same (Though for him it was difficult so he had to try twice). They all looked at twilight who stared back with a look of disgust on her face followed by a sigh.
"I'm just going to get started on that spell if that's alright with you." She said as she walked away to grab a book.
The three didn't push her any further and with that Spike walked away to wash his hands while Rainbow Dash wiped her hoof on Jon's already tattered jacket.