Episode 1 [Spike]: Please welcome to the show Spike the Dragon!
Series: Equestrian interviews
Interviewer: Jon Stewart
Guest: Spike the Dragon (Spike)
Date: ???
Location: Daily Show headquarters
733 11th Avenue Manhattan, NY 10019
THIS IS THE DAILY SHOW WITH JON STEWART
The sound of applause and cheering echoed through the busy set as the 'Daily Show logo' flew towards the viewer and went off screen. The camera began its descent to the center of the stage and eventually stops to reveal the host of the show, Jon Stewart, organizing his notes has he looks to the camera about to speak.
“Welcome back!" Jon said, trying his best to talk over the audience, "My guest tonight, he’s a resident of Ponyville and the personal assistant to Twilight Sparkle, please welcome to the show, Spike the Dragon. Spike!”
The audience applauded once again as a small purple dragon, with very noticeable green scales protruding up and down his head and back, emerges from backstage. He waved and smiled at the audience (Even blowing an occasional kiss) as he made his way to the center stage to greet Jon.
The two shook each other’s hand and Jon motioned for Spike to sit down only to see his guest awkwardly use the chair as a boost to get on top of the table (As even standing on the chair would have made it difficult for the cameras to see him.) Jon was half way through an attempt to help him up, but by then Spike already found his way atop the table, sitting comfortably in front of his ‘The Daily Show’ mug.
As the audience’s cheers and applause started to die down, Jon sat in his chair and faced Spike, ready to go.
“Welcome to the show Spike, it’s good to have you here," Jon said, "And may I say this…you’re a lot shorter than I expected.”
The audience chuckled at the opening joke causing Spike to do the same as he reached for his mug, but he did not drink from it. He wanted to retort, but his nervousness got the better of him as the host continued his jesting.
"When I was told I'd be interviewing a dragon, I just assumed..." Jon said, leaving his statement open in an attempt to let Spike say something.
Spike seemed to have picked up on this and responded quickly. Almost quickly enough that it looked like he interrupted the legendary comedian.
“Yeah, I uh- I get that a lot," Spike replied, "Oh! It’s great to be here Jon!”
Jon smiled at his guest's first official statement. He also noted that, based on his voice, he was probably quite young.
“Now before we get started, I just want to say that you, young man...," Jon said, while comically wagging his finger, "...you've caused quite a bit of a uh…hubbub, if you will, backstage.”
“Eh heh, yeah I guess you could say that." Spike said, while rubbing the back of his head, "I think your backstage manager hates me.”
“Okay, explain to me…w-what happened," Jon asked, "Because I’ve been up here all day and…just-" Spike's expression turned to that of guilt as he interrupted Jon with what happened.
“Well…I was in the back getting ready to go on stage and…well first let me start by saying, I’m staaarving!" Spike exclaimed, holding his stomach, "I was so nervous about coming on your show, I didn’t eat anything before arriving so-”
“But we gave you a gift basket of food in the uh…" Jon paused, snapping his fingers, "Dressing room. That was for you, man.”
“Oh I know, but the thing is…I didn’t recognize over half the stuff in there and I didn’t want to risk getting sick before going on stage.” Spike said, trying his best to sound responsible.
“So what- what happened then? What did you end up doing?" Jon replied anxiously, now more interested in what Spike had to say.
“Well", Spike said, nervously, "What happened was, your backstage manager, Ms. uh-”
“Ms. Jenson.” Jon interjected, doing his best to help the obviously nervous dragon along.
“Yes. Ms. Jenson came up to me to see what was wrong…and well," Spike said, trying to get the story right in his head, "She leaned over me and said, uh...she said: ‘Is there anything else I can get for you?’ And I noticed that she was wearing a necklace with a huge diamond on the end of it and-”
Once again Jon interrupted Spike. He was trying to go easy on his guest but his comedic sense of opportunity overpowered him.
“Really? That’s what you notice first?” Jon said raising an eyebrow. “A pretty woman leans over and all you can think is: ‘Mmmm mmmm! Look at dem diamonds!’”
The Audience laughed at Jon’s innuendo, which seemed to be somewhat lost on Spike.
"Please continue." He added.
“We-well you see, I’m not proud of what I did next," Spike said, "But when she leaned over, I uh…I took a bite of her necklace.”
The thought of a small dragon hanging onto one of his employee's jewelry caused Jon to chuckle.
“Really!?", Jon said, gleefully, "So that’s why she hates you?”
“Well no, not exactly," Spike replied, "You see…I apologized for what I did and she forgave me, buuut she didn’t appreciate what I said next.”
“Why?", Jon asked, "What did you say?” Spike tensed up as he continued his story.
“Well I apologized to her," Spike said, "And I said- uh I said: “I’m so sorry! Oh and by the way, no offense, but uh…that’s a total fake.’”
Unprepared by what Spike had said, Jon began to burst out in laughter as he swiveled in his chair trying his best to keep his composure, but to no avail. The audience laughed along with him while Spike took this momentary break in the interview to sip his mug of water for the first time, which he had to hold with both hands.
Spike, now hydrated, decided to take this opportunity to explain his actions as he was certain Jon had no idea of the intricacies of an Equestrian dragon.
"Yeah you see I-I sort of eat diamonds, as well as other kinds of gems.” Spike yelled, making sure Jon could hear him.
Catching his breath, Jon swiveled back to his previous spot just in time to retort on what Spike had just said, though still slightly laughing as he did.
“Why didn’t you just tell us? I mean we--" Jon paused, his laughing now coming to a stop. "There’s a ‘Jared’ down the street we could've picked you up something to go!”
At the time, Spike didn't know who or what “Jared” was, or if Jon was being serious, but nevertheless he played along and answered honestly.
“Well it’s my first time on the show," Spike replied, "Aaaand I…didn’t want to make a big fuss out of it.”
Jon laughed again (Though much less than before) at the thought and quickly changed his voice to that his trademark "condescending New Yorker".
“’Oh I see…so you won’t tell us what you can or cannot eat, but you’ll gladly eat our fucking jewelry." Jon said, with a higher than normal exaggeration. "Yeah...yeah, I see how it is!’”
Spike, at a loss for words, took another sip of his mug trying his best not to laugh at the host's comical voice.
Having gotten this far, Jon wanted to see what else he could get away with and decided to toy with his guest a little bit more.
“Well Spike it was nice having you on the show!” Jon announced, as he stood up and extended an arm towards the backstage only to quickly motion for Spike to sit back down less he actually believed the interview was over.
“But no really we’re glad to have you here today.” Jon added, sounding as sincere as possible.
“Heh,heh. Thanks Jon." Spike said, "glad to be here."
Spike prepared himself for another joke at his expense, ready to hold his ground, which is why he was all the more relieved to receive a soft question.
"So where are you from Spike?" Jon asked. Spike took a deep breath (Which given his small size very few noticed) and answered the question, now sounding more confident and relaxed.
"Well I was born in Canterlot, but I now live in Ponyville,'" Spike answered, turning to the audience with a sudden realization, "Oh uh...these are places in 'Equestria' my home country."
"Oh wait, just give me a second," Jon said, as he started to write in his notes, "'Ponyville'...'Canterlot'...'Equestria'...OK! got it!"
"Heh, yeah, I don't think you'll be able to find Equestria on your map." Spike said, turning to the image of the world map in the background.
"Most Americans can't even find Iraq on our map." Jon said. The Audience laughed with one attendee yelling out "Woo!" at one point.
“Uh, now like you said before, this is your first time here on the show, but," Jon said, pausing to make sure he had his facts straight, "You yourself are no stranger to being interviewed; am I correct?”
"That’s true, I have been interviewed before." Spike answered, sounding excited, "There was once a profile piece done on yours truly by a local Ponyville School newspaper.”
“Oh whoa that must have been exciting." Jon said, "So did the paper belong to some king of pony University or pony Community College?” Spike slightly tensed up.
“Weeell not exactly. The paper is called ‘The Free Foal Press,’ its run by the local grade school ponies.” Spike said. If Jon wasn't surprised that ponies had their own newspaper, he certainly was now that he learned little kids could have one.
“….Oh… I see. No, no, that’s great!" Jon said, trying salvage this line of questioning, "A couple of, uh, cute kids asking questions for their little paper, it’s adorable. Sure was nice of them to go to you.”
“Yeah it would have been," Spike said, with a guilty smile, "Had they actually ran the story.”
Jon felt a sensation of both pity and amusement as he leaned forward over his desk holding an outstretched hand to keep his balance and another over his face as he laughed. This sight caused Spike to do the same out of embarrassment.
“ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?" Jon said, holding nothing back, "These kids get to interview a dragon and they don’t publish it!? I mean who- what other story did they have that could-”
Before he could finish Jon stopped and placed his clenched fist in front of his face, (As if to hold a microphone) and placed two fingers against his ear.
“’This just in," Jon said, trying his best to mimic the voice of a news reporter, "An outbreak of cooties on the playground leaves dozens infected and a recent poll shows that apple juice may increase in price by 12%'”
“Trust me I felt the same way!" Spike said, laughing at the thought of his friends back home watching him squirm on Television.
After a moment of laughter, between both themselves and the audience, the two once again engaged in their interview with Jon now more focused.
“So Spike…Oh and don’t worry we'll run this interview…So Spike, for those at home who don’t know who you are, could you explain just what exactly…it is you do?” Jon asked.
“Oh, well I don't like to brag," Spike said, untruthfully, "BUT for those who don’t know I’m the assistant to Twilight Sparkle back home in Ponyville.” Jon didn't know much about who Twilight Sparkle was, but he did know she was a very important figure.
“Twilight Sparkle being a local hero around your neck of the woods, am I correct?” Jon asked.
“Well yeah," Spike said, She-”.
“And not some kind of god-awful book series.” John added.
“No, no she’s- although if anyone would be a book it'd be her. But I guess you can say she’s a royal adviser to the princess." Spike said, trying again not to laugh, "She is something of hero back home. And it’s my job to assist her with her duties to our Princess. Princess Celestia.”
“So she’s your boss?” Jon asked.
“Well I guess, but I like to think we’re more of a family.” Spike replied, taking a sip of his water.
"Now what exactly has she done to earn her the title of 'hero'", Jon asked.
"Well its hard to explain," Spike said stroking his chin, "But put it this way: Whenever Ponyville, or any other place in Equestria, is in trouble, she's always there to set things right!"
“Hmm I see, how admirable. I'll have to ask her myself if I ever get the chance." Jon said, making a mental note.
Now…what kind of an assistant are you?" Jon continuted, "Do you: Get her coffee, take her phone calls, shine her horse shoes or-"
“No, no, no, nothing like that." Spike said, sounding somewhat defensive. "My main job is sending letters from Ponyville aaall the way to the princess at the request of Twilight, or sometimes her friends.” Jon recalled the letter he received the night before and took this opportunity to shed some light on how exactly it came into his possession.
“How do you do that exactly?" John asked, "Because I noticed, if you don’t mind me saying, you don’t have any wings, so how do you transport these letters from so far away?”
“Well you see…" Spike said, pausing to look around him, "…OH! I’ll give you an example, can I see that for a second?”
Spike reached for a piece of paper that Jon had previously used during other segments of the show that day. Jon obliged and handed him his notes, watching as Spike rolled them up and, with a quick breath, engulfed them in a flame of emerald green. In a few seconds, the notes had suddenly vanished. Not burned up in a cloud of ash, but simply vanished. This spectacle, much to the amusement of the audience, caused Jon to stare into open space where his notes had just disappeared.
“And just like that, your papers are in the hoofs of the princess herself, right now as we speak; instant royal mail!” Spike said, with a snap of his finger. While he sat there with a proud grin on his face, Jon continued to stare upwards eventually pointing in that direction.
"’I’ll be honest..." He said, looking somewhat worried, "...I really wish you hadn’t done that.” This time, Spike was the one who lost composure as he nearly fell over backwards laughing.
“You have noooo idea the kinds of things I write down on tho- I mean we-, "Jon said, in a slight panic, "We just had a segment about sex robots and now the princess is going to be reading it!?”
With Spike still laughing at himself for not thinking his plan all the way through, Jon seized the moment and put his hands in front him, in dainty manner, while doing his best to immediate the voice of Queen Elizabeth II.
“’Oh hellooooo, what do we have here?," Jon said, "Oooooo a letter from dear Spike, I wonder what it could- GOOD HEAVENS!’” Spike couldn't stop laughing.
“Don’t- don’t worry, the Princess is a very understanding pony." Spike said, trying his hardest to stop laughing, "I’m pretty sure I won’t get in trouble when I- when I go back home.” Jon waited for Spike to catch his breath before continuing.
“So when do you head back home?” Jon asked.
“Probably after the show," Spike answered, now more calm, "I don’t like to be too far away from my friends in Ponyville.”
“So about this ‘Ponyville.'" John intrigued, while making air quotes, "Am I to assume it’s filled with...ponies?” Spike raised his eyebrow at the obvious question and decided to give an obvious answer.
“"Uuh, for the most part yes, Jon.” Spike answered, unsure where he was going with this.
“Now having said that do you ever find yourself just…looking at your hands, maybe wiggle your fingers a little and think to yourself..." John pausing for emphasis, “Wow…I have such a genetic advantage over these people.’”
“Well no," Spike replied with a slight giggle, "But actually that’s one of the reasons why I’m in charge of writing those royal letters.”
“Oh really?” Jon said.
“Yes sir! Having fingers really makes it easy to take a letter every now and again.” Spike said, once again sounding proud of himself.
“Do you ever just rub that into someone’s face?” Jon said, as he leaned forward.
Spike laughed at the question and tried to answer but was too late as Jon continued.
“Do you ever just- like when you see someone walking down the street, give em one of these?” Jon asked, as he turned his chair to his audience giving them two very big “thumbs up” while putting on a toothy grin.
“Oh no, no, no" Spike said, waving his hands back and forth, "The residents of Ponyville have their own methods of doing things without the need for hands.”
“So none of them ever get jealous?” Jon asked.
“Hmmm not as often as you might thin- well there is this one pony," Spike answered, "Lyra. I think she might be.”
“How uh- how can you tell?” Jon asked, recognizing the name from the list.
“Well every now and again I catch her staring at me.” Spike answered. Having heard this, Jon puffed out his chest, adjusted his suit, and once again changed his voice. This time to that of a deep rough voice which could at best be described as "trying to sound manly."
“Well it sounds to me like this 'Lyra' has a thing for Ol’ Spike the Dragon.” Jon said. He was certain this would cause his guest to laugh again, but all it did was make the young dragon grin as if he knew something Jon did not.
“Oooh trust me, it’s not like that," Spike said, "She’s already spoken for.”
“Oh I see.” Jon said
“Plus I..." Spike said, rubbing the back of his head, "...I already have a thing for somepony else.”
Jon's eyebrows shot up as his keen sense of observation, which made him a master comic and host, alerted him of a possible new talking point. He leaned forward, now more interested; momentarily distracted by the audience's collective "D’aaaaw.”
“Reeaally?" Jon said, Who is she? What’s she like?”
“Well...she’s real pretty" Spike said, slightly blushing, "And she has the most amazing mane!” Jon could sense how nervous this made spike. But he could also sense the comedic potential in this line of questioning.
"Gooo ooon!” Jon said, placing both his hands under his chin as if to hold his head up.
“Well, she’s the most generous pony I’ve ever met!" Spike continuted, "But...I don’t think she likes me.”
“Why is that?” Jon asked?
“Well,” Spike said, "The thing is--"
“Did you try eating her necklace?” Jon asked, very straight faced.
“No, no, I would never do that!" Spike exclaimed, with a laugh, "It’s just- well I mean I know she likes me but I’m pretty sure she doesn’t like that in that way.” Upon hearing this revelation Jon decided to give the little guy a break and back off the subject somewhat.
“Aaah," Jon said, nodding his head. "We’ve all been there.”
“Yeah, she spends most of her time working on her fashi- I mean…working." Spike said, in a panic, "She’s very good at what she does and she has such passion, which is also why I like her so much.”
“So she’s an active career woman?” Jon asked, disappointed he didn't get a name drop to see if he recognized it from the list.
“Something like that, yes.” Spike answered.
“Now- now, would you say your career, aside from being an assistant, is delivering all these letters around ponyville?” Jon asked in an attempt to get Spike to talk more about himself.
“Ye- Well no, actually, I don’t deliver letters for everypony in town." Spike answered, "I only deliver royal mail for Twilight, her friends, and the Princess.”
“Oh I see, sorry.” Jon said, scratching his head.
“Yeah we already have somepony whose job it is to deliver mail around Ponyville." Spike added, "Her name is Derpy, she’s our mailmare. Actually she’s a pretty big fan of yours.”
“Oh really!” Jon said, interested at the thought of a fan who was literally 'out of this world.'
“Yeah. You and your friend...uh, Colbert." Spike continued, "She watches your guys' shows every day.” Jon was pleased to hear this. He cleared his throat.
"Oh, well this Derpy person seems to have really good taste.” Jon said, adjusting his tie.
“Yeah she records both shows every day and watches them when she gets back home." Spike said, with a slight giggle, "She can never decide which one to watch first so she sets each show to a different TV and watches ‘The Daily Show’ with one eye and the ‘Colbert Report’ with the other.” This made Jon very confused.
“We- well" Jon said, at a lost for words, "Well you tell Derpy that she’s welcome on the show anytime. We’d love to have her.”
“Sure!" Spike said, enthusiastically. "No problem!” Just then a voice came from behind the stage. It was soft enough so the audience wouldn't hear it but loud enough for Jon to. It was the voice a staff member telling Jon time was running out.
“Also, I’m being told we’re running out of time and we need to go to commercial," Jon said, looking at the audience and back to Spike, "But listen, can you stick around for a few more minutes and we’ll throw the rest up on the web?”
“Sure, I’d love to!” Spike answered.
“OK, thanks a lot for being here I really appreciate it." Jon said, as he grabbed Spike's hand. "Spike the Dragon everyone! We’ll be right back.”
The crowd erupted in applause as the camera paned away from Jon shaking Spike’s hand and whispering something in his ear. The show's logo once again flew on screen and the program transitioned into it's final commercial.
Stats
Page generated in 0.036 seconds
Total duration
696 users online
1,027,098 hits today, 2,054,621 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
I'm gonna put this in my Read Laters, see where this goes
static.prtst.net/asset-proxy/0f646dbd214789c9052e78d1174913bec000f2ed/687474703a2f2f693330342e70686f746f6275636b65742e636f6d2f616c62756d732f6e6e3137312f4e69636b506f74726f736b692f596f752f4252494c4c49414e542e6a7067/http://i304.photobucket.com/albums/nn171/NickPotroski/You/BRILLIANT.jpg
woot
Oh yeah so cool.
Not bad
This must become a series. This BRILLIANT!!!!!!!!
I don't know what to say, really. I'm... underwhelmed.
The craftsmanship is solid, the characters are good. You've nailed Jon's stage persona perfectly. The writing is good. Spike eating the backstage manager's necklace was priceless. But... there's nothing there. No real comedy, no conflict, no drama, no romance, nothing. It's 4000 words of two guys having a chat.
You definitely have serious writing chops, but there has to be a bit more going on if you want to keep me interested.
Colbert needs to make an apperance, he did make shout outs to bronies
Agreed with Ethrak on this one. I really like what you're trying to do here and it's got a lot of potential but it doesn't feel very clever or too interesting. Happy with the dialogue though, and it's formatted just as it should be for this kind of thing.
961139
I feel that was kind of the point. I mean, if you've ever watched his show, this really is the way he runs his interviews. They are quite comical, and, while not completely serious, they do give us little bits and pieces of information.
In all honesty, I liked this a lot, because, like you said, this author has some great writing ability, and to make a 4k word story merely of two guys talking about nothing in particular, and make it hold my attention the entire time...that's pretty impressive.
Dat cover picture cropping.
I think this has a lot of potential, should it become some kind of series. Jon Stewart was nailed brilliantly, and so was Spike. The problem in the interviews is just that Spike really isn't a very interesting character. If another character was brought on, one with more interesting traits, then this would work brilliantly. It was unfair, because Jon is an adult, and Spike is really just a kid. If an adult pony were brought on, that could defend him/her self against Jon's jibes, and respond in kind, it would make for a much better story. I hope to see it develop further; if Pinkie Pie were ever on the Daily Show, I think I would piss myself with laughter.
I wonder what the rest of the mane 6 would be like on the Daily Show.
Give me more, damn you! MOAR!
"Complete"?
PONYFEATHERS!
This isn't something you just oneshot! You have a good intro, and a VERY well written interview, now get on more!
He should have went to Jared. :D FUCKING AWESOME STORY!
961509
Well I'm new here and don't know much but when I put complete I mean to say the interview with Spike is complete. I was thinking about doing more under a different titles, like: "Derpy on the Daily Show," then have two chapters (An intro then the interview) like this one. That way people can read whichever one they wanted and I get to have a new picture of Jon with a new pony. You know so it can sorta have the feel of different episodes.
But like I said I'm new here so I gotta ask am I doing this wrong?
I came to see Jon Stewart interviewing Spike. I got what I came for.
An invisible helicopter award for you sir!
961401
961328
Stick around to find out!
962239
Well, just based on what I've seen, it should be a series. Like Ponies explaining Ponies.
Wow, my sinking feeling didn't mean this ended in disaster. that's rarely happened before.
979584
So is that your version of Pinkie-sense?
980380 Yea. That was for when i thought things would end in disaster.
I also have other feelings for different things like when something is gonna be somewhat funny, when a story is bad, ect. ect.
Interesting. I shall place this in my read later list.
feels like i'm watching the show for real
good job sir! can't wait to see interviews with Dash, derpy, twilight, luna, spitfire, big mac and pinkie lol
jon might make doubled rainbow and "we heard rumors that you are gay" jokes in dash part
or in spitfire part is a few "how is it to be a sex symbol for the wonderbolts" or something
btw, you should add a "greenroom" chapter.
1104334
Check out my other interviews. I've already done derpy
1104464
yeah, i'm finally reading them :3 good job on derpy part
See this? This right here? This is why nice things exist, and it is why we can have them.
I think you have yourself a new fan. Let's just see how the other interviews go...
1106774
Ah shucks man you're too kind!
I really liked this story, but I think you tried too hard on the jokes, it didn't really feel natural.
One other thing: When Spike sent the letter and Jon goes "I wish you hadn't done that," I wish Spike went: "You act like we've never seen this show before. I'm pretty sure she's used to it."
Jon pauses for two seconds. "That's a good point, that's a good point. Can you stay for five minutes? We'll throw it up on the web!"
I'm so reading the rest, and I even have a joke for Applejack, which is way too obvious for you not to have used it.
I'm mad I only just found this, this is some very good stuff! You nailed the persona's very well!
1384614
Say thanks! If you like this one check out my other interviews!
Also thanks for following too.
Did somepony say SEX ROBOTS?!??!?
i1.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/006/088/trollestia.png
Also, might I inquire whether you will do an interview with the Cutie Mark Crusaders? And if you do, will NYC survive? lol
This IS good
I was legitametly laughing at tiemes
Though once agian, the audience is handling witnesing a being from another realm suprisingly well.
2767141
Oh hello BronyWriter, imagine meeting you here
Love the derpy reference
I just found this and intend to continue reading because this is an interesting idea that clearly has a lot of followers. However, I have to say I agree with EXOLIEF (I was going to post this on the previous chapter but decided to read the transcript first)— your proofreader could have done a better job. The writing isn't half bad, though it could be better, but the grammatical and technical errors are quite numerous. I'd offer my help to you, but I already have multiple stories I'm editing. If you're interested, if you send me one of your episodes I can show you some of your errors for you to keep in mind for future 'interviews.'
Otherwise, you did a pretty good job on this. I'm upset I didn't find it sooner. Looks like I'm going to have a marathon.
3425959
When I started I didn't have an editor; I thought I could do it myself... looking back I don't know what I was thinking.
I can't edit for shit and I know it! 
I have one or two editors now and at some point I'll have one of them go through my backlog
1108312 wonderful fic, I wanted to ask, do you know if anyone has called that number?
Word of warning, I think all of your images have broken.