//------------------------------//
// Episode 21 [Fluttershy]: Reunion  
// Story: The Daily Show presents:  Equestrian Interviews 
// by Daily Show Ponies 
//------------------------------//




Doing a little double take, Jon assessed that yes the message he had received was from his missing cell phone. Since it was Jon’s own phone he had no reason to add it in his contacts so the message didn’t have a name, only the number, but he recognized it nevertheless.

Suspicious as to what all this meant, Jon swiped his index finger across the screen to get to the bottom of this. With squinted eyes he read the text and felt a mixture of relief and embarrassment; his suspicions turned out to be right on point. 

“Hello Jon, this is Princess Celestia. It would seem that you left your cellphone in the middle of the Canterlot Garden. I was planning on contacting you about this sooner but I was in a very important meeting. If it’s acceptable with you I would like to bring you here to retrieve it in person; there is somepony I would like you to meet.” 

Jon was certain that he had lost his mobile device at Canterlot Castle so he had no reason to doubt that this was Celestia. There was however a small part of him that considered this might be some kind of prank at the hands of one of his friends or coworkers, but the attached photo that came with the message quashed all doubt from his mind.

It was a photo, taken from the front camera, of Celestia smiling and holding his phone. Presumably she took a selfy off a mirror. 

With a deep sigh that one might mistake for the mating call of a tone-deaf yeti, Jon arched himself back and slowly walked over to his kid’s bedrooms. Relieved that his phone was in safe hands- or hooves, rather- Jon multitasked by using one hand to send a reply while using his other to knock on his kid’s doors; signalling them that lunch was ready. 

“Yes, that would be fine. Can’t stay too long, though,” Jon texted back as his kids ran past him without so much as a hi to get to their food. With the assumption that this wouldn’t take too long, Jon decided not to tell Tracey where he was going and instead went through his usual ritual of standing up straight for the incoming burst of magic. “Okay. I’m ready.”

Turning his phone off, Jon looked at his chest to quickly decide where he would holster his device and got as far as grabbing ahold of his jacket’s lapel so he could slide his phone into his front pocket when the scenery around him changed.

Something seemed… different. 

A number of things felt odd to Jon; first and foremost being how he was transported to Equestria and second being exactly where he was.

Sure he had traversed both worlds by way of teleportation many times before (sometimes by other ponies than Celestia), but this time felt different. Usually whenever Celestia used her magic on him it would take a few good seconds, to the point where Jon could predict the exact instant he’d blink from one world to another.

But this time he arrived much sooner than he expected, almost recklessly so; like Celestia was waiting for the exact moment she was given the okay to do it. Whoever she wanted Jon to meet they must be important for her to be in such a hurry. But that was just it; he was hardly anywhere near Canterlot. 

Jon found himself in front of a bridge which lead to a cottage atop a hill. He would have been nervous about being in a location that he had never been to before, but when he looked around the first thing he noticed was Ponyville just beyond the next hill; perhaps five minutes away on foot.

He now knew generally where he was, but his confusion only deepened from there. Usually this 
would be the part where he would question why Celestia opted to teleport him here in an empty, grassy plain occupied by several fenced in enclosures, rather than in the luxurious compound that was Canterlot Castle.

On que, Jon received another text from Celestia explaining the situation; almost suspiciously so. 

“Like I said, I was in a meeting, which happened to have taken place in the cottage just ahead of you. Please… do come in.”

This all seemed a tad suspicious but Jon’s growling stomach reminded him that he had some place to be and that he needed to hurry. Again he brushed off any sense of worry, dismissing it as needless on his part. He wasn’t in any danger, he was in Ponyville, and his celestial friend was nearby. All was surely well.  

As Jon crossed the bridge he couldn't help but feel like he was in some kind of fairy tale. Obviously anyone would feel the same way if they were in a technicolor land of magic and talking animals, but for Jon it was a feeling he had gotten used to early in his travels to Equestria. So to have that feeling creep back on him meant that the area he currently occupied must have had quite the effect on him.

Although there weren’t any ponies around, he was far from alone. Woodland creatures were teeming everywhere, from deers and squirrels scurrying about in the undergrowth to birds feasting on the many bird feeders scattered on anything willing to hold them.

The small cottage surrounded by plant life was a nice touch as well, leaving Jon surprised that a troll didn’t pop up from under the bridge with three riddles. All Jon was missing to make this look more like a Germanic children’s tale was a red hood and a basket filled with sweets. 

Having reached only a few feet away, Jon felt a slight strain as the ground inclined upwards, forcing him to take quicker breaths. Now in front of the cottage and on a higher vantage point, Jon knocked on the door and quickly glanced over his shoulder at the almost untouched land he had been transported too.

“How peaceful,” Jon thought with a chuckle. He always had an idea of vacationing with his kids to Equestria some time but never quite cemented on where specifically to take them. Canterlot Castle was no place for children and Ponyville was too bustling but this… this seemed like a nice place for kids. 

The sound of a locking mechanism disengaging followed by a door opening caused Jon to turn around whereupon he completely took back that last thought. 

The front entrance was split across the middle like a barnyard door. The upper half had been fully opened, revealing who it was that was currently occupying this quaint cottage much to Jon’s shock and horror.

If he was Little Red Riding Hood then he was now face to face with The Big Bad Wolf, an apt comparison since there were even odds the creature starring Jon down had some wolf in him.

At first it took Jon a few seconds to make head or tails of what he was looking at, but soon after his brain clicked and filled in the blanks for him. Those yellow and red eyes, those non-matching horns on his head, the long eyebrows which matched the billy goat beard... oh yes, he remembered who this creature was, and judging by the tooth grin it was shooting his way it remembered him too.

“Well, well, well,” the creature Jon now remembered as Discord said. “Jon Stewart as I live and breath, is that you?!”

This can’t be real. 

Jon’s mind produced the stimulants needed to create the words he wanted to say but the muscles in his face were frozen so speech was an artform he had temporarily forgotten. His eyes were a reflection of fear and surprise which in no way matched Discord’s since he had forcibly removed his own eyeballs, breathed on them, rubbed them against his chest, and placed them back in his face like they were glasses.

“It is you!” he confirmed with a grin that showed off his teeth which, like everything else about him, varied. “Fancy seeing you again so soon... how have you been?”

But again he just stood there with a blank look about him, his body begging him to leave but that too was something he had forgotten how to do.

“This isn’t happening,” Jon thought as Discord slowly tilted his head from side to side like a pendulum. “I’m... I must be hallucinating! There’s no way... he’d be here!”

Jon’s knowledge of Equestrian current news was spotty at best and Celestia had, on account of not wishing to scare him away, neglected to mention it to him, meaning he had no way of knowing the series of events that lead to Discord being freed. Discord however had already been in Jon’s head and knew everything he did, or, more importantly, what he did not. 

The sight of him utterly confused beyond understanding made him giggle with delight.

Jon did eventually move in the form tightly closing his eyes and shaking his head in disbelief as if he was certain when he opened them again he would be back home. His denial was shattered when his vision adjusted back into the moment only to see Discord holding out his long lost phone which he had procured from deep in his throat.

“I believe you came here for this,” Discord said as he tempted Jon by swaying his cellphone in his face. “Honestly Jon, you should really be more careful where you put your toys... I mean, imagine if it were to fall into the wrong hands...”

Leaning forward, he brought his mouth to the side of Jon’s head and lowered his voice.

“Again,” he added. 

Nope. That was it.

With a shriek that caused all birds within the area to flutter away from their bird feeders, Jon’s legs gave out as he tumbled backwards onto the ground. Ignoring every hazard before him he leapt over a nearby moat and ran as fast as his legs could take him down the hill, screaming imprecations along the way. 

His plan was to run straight into Everfree Forest which was continuously next door. He knew going in such a place was near suicide but any place was better than in front of a devilish god. Perhaps there Jon thought he would lose him and be safe- he had it all planned out. After he was sure that he was safe he would call Celestia for help.

Or at least he would have if he had reached the place. 

Rule one about running away from an animal was to never, ever look back. In fear, Jon did just that when he was halfway to the forest and paid for it by running face first into a tree; not hard enough to do much damage but just hard enough to knock him out... and send a purple bird feeder crashing over his head. If this were a cartoon there would be birds and stars flying over his head.

The last thing Jon remembered before passing out, aside from the sound of someone laughing uncontrollably in the area, was the tree that he collided with. As he slowly regained consciousness, his face scratched from the hard, outer bark, his vision focused in on something that wasn’t a tree at all.

“Oh, you’re awake!” it said in a soft voice that was both low in volume and sweet sounding. “Thank goodness... for a moment there... I thought you would never wake up.”

His head was aching and his vision was still slightly blurred but he could see well enough to know that he was looking into the eyes of a pony who was hovering just above his face; a pegasus obviously, with long flowing pink hair and a light yellow body. 

“Whe-uh... Where am I?” Jon asked as he tried unsuccessfully to get up. 

“Oh, um... please don’t push yourself,” the kind pony recommended. “You should really stay lying down... you took quite a nasty fall.”

With his eyesight still not at a hundred percent, Jon had to rely on his other senses to help him determine where he was. The smell of medical alcohol was unmistakable, but not as strong as the scents of rustic upholstery, unvarnished wood, and candle wax; all of which told him he was probably in one of Ponyville's quaint cottages. Soon yet more scents invaded his nostrils and he found himself with the distinct impression he was in some kind of pet store. 

Being a dog owner himself, he recognized the wafting smell of animals and various pet accessories like litter, kibble, plastic toys and so forth. He tried to look around the room but the bright light of the still sunny afternoon ached at his eyes. 

What he did see, however, was a simple cottage much like your typical Equestrian home, though slightly different than what he had experienced before. It didn’t have as many books as Twilight’s library treehouse, or as many fabrics and stunning furniture as Rarity’s boutique, but what it did have were cages, more birdfeeders, and the occasional animal bed for larger creatures.

All of this was interesting but didn’t help Jon determine what was going on.

“Where am I?” Jon repeated in a moaning if slightly clearer tone as he rubbed his head. 

“Oh um... I’m sorry,” the pegasus apologized as she placed a new ice pack atop his head the second Jon’s hand fell back down. “You’re in my house... you ran into a tree and passed out so we’ve been taking care of you.”

Like his vision, Jon’s memory was not coming back as quickly as he’d like, though he did remember running into a tree. He also remembered what he was running away from.

“‘We?!’” Jon echoed and he defied his savior’s wishes by jolting up and scanning the room as quickly as possible. “Who’s we?!” 

“O-oh um… Z-Zecora and I,” she answered as she motioned Jon over to the entrance of the kitchen just in time to see a familiar figure emerging back into the room.

“Hello Jon, I see you’re awake,” the zebra said as she made her way to the pegasus’ side. “Though you should lay back down... for your own sake.”

Following orders, Jon flopped back down on the couch that he had been placed upon- not out of obedience, but because after taking stock of where he was and who he was with he confirmed that he was safe. He must have had some sort of nightmare, he concluded. 

Relieved enough to let his guard down, Jon looked at the more colorful of the duo who was now at his side making sure he was alright. At this point he had read enough personal files to come to a conclusion as to who this was. 

“Y-you’re Fluttershy, aren’t you?” Jon asked which made the pink and yellow pegasus lower her ears at the sound of her own name.

“Oh well um... yes... yes I am,” she said in an increasingly softer tone as she backed away. “I hope you don’t mind but... I’ve been taking care of you for the past hour or so... I’m sorry if you do mind.”

“Um... no, of course I don’t,” Jon assured her as he swung his feet over to get into a seated position. “Uuuugh... my head’s killing me.”

“This is to be expected, considering to what you’ve been subjected. When Fluttershy told me of how you ran into lumbering wood I rushed over as quickly as I could,” Zecora explained, Jon now remembering that she did indeed live close by. “We checked to see if any of your bones were broke, before you came to and awoke. She was scared you might be dead, but you only have a mild concussion instead.”

“I uh, I see,” Jon said, trying to give a reassuring smile to Fluttershy. “Thank you very much Ms. Fluttershy.”

“Oh think nothing of it,” she responded with a slight blush. “Always happy to help out when I can.”

Straining his neck behind him, Jon scanned the room one more time to make absolutely sure it was just the three of them. Again he saw no trace of Discord, all but confirming that what he saw before was a figment of his imagination.

“So... it’s just you two, huh?” Jon asked, still slightly paranoid.

“Well... yes,” Fluttershy said. “When I found you the first thing I did was get Zecora since she’s nearby and knows a thing of two about medicine.

“What Fluttershy says is true, since my arrival it’s just been us two,” Zecora revealed. “When a friend is hurt and in need of care, you can count on us to be there. Fluttershy and I will stay here until you’re restored...”

“AHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEM!” The sound of someone clearing their throat pierced the air from underneath Jon.

“Oh. I almost forgot about Discord,” Zecora added, pointing her hoof to Jon’s side.

“W-wait what?!” Jon stammered before quickly turning his attention to something poking at his leg from below. And what he saw was beyond words.

He realized that the almost psychiatrist-style couch he had been lying on was actually Discord himself, his stomach acting at the center frame of support and his head stretched out against Jon’s back for lumbar support.

In an almost straightforward sense of logic his own appendages acted as the couch’s legs and his tail was being used as a body length pillow. Using such a devious creature as his own personal cushion as well as seeing his dopey body stretched out in such an awkward way did very little to make Jon less terrified. 

When his arm extended again for a friendly wave he might as well have been waving a gun around.

“Hello Jon!” Discord joyously announced, still in couch form. “Feeling better?”

Ignoring every rational reason to not move so suddenly after such an injury, Jon ejected himself from his seat so quickly he almost knocked over Zecora and Fluttershy like a couple of bowling pins. 

Grabbing the first weapon he could find, in this case a standing lamp almost as tall as he was, Jon took a battle stance which, combined with his trembling, made him look as nonthreatening as possible for someone in his position. 

“Y-you’re real?!” Jon roared in disbelief. “You’re actually real?!”

“Why of course I am!” Discord answered as he slowly peeled himself off from the furniture Jon had previously occupied, revealing that rather than being the sofa himself Discord had spread himself across its surface like a blanket. “You more than anyone else should know that by now.”

Tightening his grip on his weapon, Jon looked like he was about to wind up for a devastating swing when a yellow blur caught his attention in the form of Fluttershy flying directly in between them with her hooves spread out. Usually she wouldn’t have been so quick to action but when it came to someone like Discord she felt like some direct intervention was needed.

“Wait!” she exclaimed, surprising Jon who assumed her to be more the quiet type. “Please don’t hurt him!”

As he stood there, poised to attack, Jon couldn't help but feel like the scripts had been switched around.

“W-w-wait... you’re telling me not to hurt him?!” Jon exclaimed. “Fluttershy... don’t you know who that is?! That’s--”

“Discord,” said Fluttershy. “Yes, I know who he is. God of Chaos, Master of Deception... and a friend.”

Jon couldn't believe his ears.

“Friend?” he questioned. 

“Ahem,” Discord interjected from behind as he pedicured his nails on the back of a turtle. “Fluttershy dear, you forgot Lord of Disharmony.”

“You... you’ve got to be kidding me,” Jon continued.

None of this was making sense to Jon and his instinct was to grab Fluttershy and hold her back in protection while forcibly seeing if he could drive this demon home. Before he could even speak a word of warning to this obvious monster he felt something yanking on his pants leg. 

It was Zecora, who looked as calm and collected about the situation as Discord himself.

“Jon, I think it would be best for you realize that we do not jest,” she began as she slowly went to take away his weapon. “I realize this may seem strange, for us to be friends with one so deranged.”

Pausing to allow her words to sink in, Jon looked back over at Discord who was now idly walking with Fluttershy, no doubt being lectured about what was expected of him. It would all seem very normal were it not for Discord literally zipping his mouth closed at her request. 

“There is no cause for further fear, listen to us and everything will become clear,” Zecora continued as she carefully led Jon back to the sofa. “You're still hurt and in much pain, so please sit here and we will explain.” 

And so she did. 

For the next several minutes Fluttershy and Zecora took turns explaining to Jon why Discord, the personification of pure evil, was hanging out in her living room. Together they tag-teamed stories about Discord’s release, who gave the order, and how they (mostly Fluttershy and her mane six friends) went about reforming him. 

At first it was hard to believe but when it came right down to it the idea of Discord having a heel turn seemed about as far-fetched an idea as Jon conversing with a talking horse. 

Like a convict getting drilled by a pair of cops, Jon stayed silent and listened, listened to what Fluttershy had to say which was nothing but continued assurances that no one here was in any danger. And again, like a convict, Jon buckled under.

“Sooo... he’s a good guy now?” Jon asked to no one in particular since he always had a watchful eye on the multi-comprised beast now hovering in midair.

“Oh, of course he is... I know he may seem a little rough around the edges but trust me when I say he’s a real sweetheart once you get to know him,” Fluttershy assured Jon as he looked back over to Discord who sported of look of innocence which included pouting lips, large watery eyes, and a literal halo over his head. “He stays with me every so often to help me take care of the animals because that’s what friends do for each other.”

“He may seem quite mischievous at first glance,” Zecora began as Discord took that very same halo and dunked it into a cup of coffee before taking a bite out of it, “but he’s behaved quite well since he’s been given a second chance.” 

Rubbing the sore spot on his head, Jon just stared at Discord while leaning over to whisper at Fluttershy.

“And you just believe that he’s reformed?” Jon whispered. “I mean isn’t this guy the same monster who tried to break you and your friends up or something?”

“Hey! Who you calling a monster?!” Discord said, revealing that the Fluttershy he was whispering to was actually Discord wearing an elaborate Fluttershy costume. With a snap of his fingers he teleported in front of Jon wearing a United States Nurse’s Uniform circa 1937. “Why I’ll have you know that while you were unconscious I helped tend to your wounds!”

Turning now to face the real Fluttershy, Jon didn’t say anything but instead gave her an “Is this true?” look on his face which made the yellow pegasus smile and nod. To further back up his claims, Zecora approached Jon to show off the different medicines she had brought from her home.

“When I arrived Discord insisted that he stay in case I needed to be assisted. He used his powers to scan your mind, to see what afflictions we could find,” she explained while Discord demonstrated this feat by putting on a pair of x-ray glasses. “After that it was easy to choose which of my medicines to use.” 

Standing up to get his bearings, Jon silently contemplated just how bad his collision was. He felt better now so with a new found surge of bravado he slowly approached the deity standing before him. Very rare was it for Jon to find someone from Equestria taller than him.

“Are they telling the truth?” Jon asked him. “Are you really reformed?”

“Scout’s honor!” Discord quickly answered and with a snap of his fingers he was donned in a literal scout’s uniform. He held his lion’s paw in a traditional scoutmaster salute while his eagle’s claw was held behind his back with crossed talons. “And now that I am you and I can officially meet in person and become the bestest of pals!”

“Somehow, I don’t feel richer for the experience,” Jon commented while rubbing his still throbbing forehead.

“Oh right... that.” Discord coughed. “From the depths of my heart I do feel ever so sorry for causing you to hurt yourself! I did not mean for that to happen.”

“Then why did you trick me into coming here in the first place?” Jon asked, which caused Discord to nervously cough to himself, making his uniform disperse into dust. 

“Trick?” Fluttershy asked, now behind Jon and closing in on her friend. “Discord, what’s he talking about? I thought you said you found something that belonged to Jon and you wanted to give it back.”

“O-oh well yes, I most certainly did!” Discord sputtered in a nervous tone as he fiddled with his fingers. “In fact! I have it right here! See, just like I said.”

Reaching behind Jon’s ear like a magician he produced Jon’s phone and placed it deep in his pocket while adjusting his suit and dusting it off all the while locking eyes with Fluttershy and putting on his most innocent smile. 

“See?” Discord added. “No harm done!”

Jon wasn’t about to let him off the hook so easily.

“He tricked me into believing that Celestia had my phone,” Jon corrected. Reaching into his pocket Jon took out his family phone and turned it on to show Fluttershy the picture of Celestia holding the device. “He sent me this and pretended to be her... how did you even take this picture?”

“Oh that? Easy,” Discord said as he reached to his side and pulled out a life size cardboard cutout of Celestia. “I used this... he he, never leave home without it.” Jon wasn’t the only one not assumed by his antics.

“Discord! Is this true?!” Fluttershy asked in a stern voice as she flew to get a higher vantage point. “Did you really trick Mr. Stewart?!”

“Weeeeeelll to be perfectly honest... I may have played a teeny tiny prank on him for a laugh, but I swear it was all in good fun!” he tried to get her to see. “Afterall... if he knew I was the one who found his phone he would have been too scared to come get it.”

His explanation seemed to have worked on Fluttershy who saw the logic of his actions and was about to deem them acceptable. Jon was determined to make him own up to his misdeeds.

“Also, I didn’t lose my phone,” Jon added, getting everyone in the room to look back on him. “It was stolen... by him. I remember it now... I remember everything. He was in my head.”

This time Fluttershy didn’t have to ask if this was true or not. 


“Discord!” she began. “What did you do?!”

Using his magic to shrink himself so as to be less noticeable he tried to float away but was met with Fluttershy flying in his path, demanding an explanation.

“Alright, alright um... there is a slight change that I maaaaay have... used my magic to enter Jon’s dreams while he was asleep to access his thought waves so I could use his mind to play tricks on him while he was on vacation at Canterlot Castle,” Discord explained rapidly like he was trying to get this over with. “... Again... it was just a prank.”

Jon couldn't see from his angle but Fluttershy was most disappointed.

“No! Bad Discord!” she scolded in a stern though soft voice. “That was not very nice of you at all! Now you apologize to Mr. Stewart this instant!”

Regaining normal size, though still at a lower enough angle that Fluttershy was hovering over him, Discord shuffled his way over to Jon, dragging his feet and mumbling the entire time. Jon wanted to laugh at how much this reminded him of his own kids but he didn’t want to rub salt into the wounds.

“I’m... sorry,” Discord mumbled.

“I can’t hear you!” Fluttershy said. 

“I SAID... I’m sorry,” he repeated himself. 

Before he could extend the olive branch any further Fluttershy dive bombed her way in between the two of them to grab Jon’s hands and a show of remorse on her side as well.

“Oh dear, I had no idea you had been through so much with Discord! I am so, so, so, sorry!” Fluttershy said while squeezing Jon’s hands. “Please... if there’s anything I can do to make it up to you... please let me know.”

A part of him wanted to just shrug this entire experience off and get back to his regular life, but as a man in the entertainment industry whenever someone offered a favor he was hard pressed not to use it. 

Before he could think about the possibilities, he was distracted by the bright light coming off of the neon sign Discord had produced out of thin air which read “Ask her to be on your show” in blazing letters ending in an arrow pointing to Fluttershy.

Jon wasn’t in the mood to be taking advice about who he should have on his show from outsiders but he had to admit this was too good a chance to pass up. Last he checked Fluttershy had declined to appear on The Daily Show almost thirty times. 

“Sooo… anything?” Jon asked.

“Yes, of course!” Fluttershy asserted. “Anything at all… you just let me know.”

Tilting his head, he was met with Discord and Zecora motioning for him to ask already.

“Alright then,” he began, “come on my show… and we’re even.”

For the first time since meeting her, Jon saw an expression on Fluttershy’s face that wasn’t concern, or determination, but pure, unfiltered fear. Obviously Jon had no means of comparison but the look on her face was more reflective of terror than his own expression after seeing Discord at her front door.

As if someone stole her breath, Fluttershy gagged and tried to breathe but found it difficult. Her vision blurred as her eyes filled with tears of fear and she began to lose consciousness.

“Y-y-y-y-y-y-y-you w-w-w-w-w-want m-m-m-me to b-b-b-be on... o-o-on your... show?!” Fluttershy stuttered. “In front of… all those… humans… and… ponies… and… and… and… eep.”

Letting out a sound similar to that of a baby bird, Fluttershy’s body did a quick spasm whereupon she fell over like a puppet that had its strings cut. Jon was no doctor but he knew what this was. 

She had fainted.

With little effort he scooped her up with one arm and carried her over to the couch that he had previously occupied. Gently he laid her across it and turned to face Zecora and Discord.

“I trust you two will take care of her while I get things ready for tomorrow?” Jon asked, getting nods in response. “Great... I’m going home.”