It wasn't a great start.
When Mort had walked into the library, he had prepared himself to be face-to-face with Twilight Sparkle, and perhaps her dragon assistant as well. He had gone through the note cards over and over, planning to recite them from memory, because he was fairly certain ponies didn't read note cards when introducing themselves. It was just him, introducing himself to her, alone, in private, to serve the extra benefit as practice for the others. Because surely somepony who was once socially awkward herself could understand if he had a little trouble with it.
But when he opened the door and found himself face-to-face with all of the unicorn's friends, his mind went completely blank. It didn't help that the looks he garnered were those of confusion, suspicion, agitation and, worst of all, fear. He knew his presence always had a disquieting effect on other ponies, and figured it might be stronger if he were tangible, but he didn't know he'd get so many, strong reactions from just standing there.
So he walked in and started reading from the cards, because, unusual or not, it seemed better then just standing there. And when he did that, they stopped looking at him as if he were some ominous, foreboding creature, and more like he was just weird. For some reason, that made him feel even worse.
And then, because he wanted to look a little more dynamic in his introduction (something he had actually picked up from Celestia, who in her speeches liked to gesture with her hooves and wings, and flourish her mane), he tried to step towards them.
As the fall proved, that was a mistake.
One rushed, almost incomprehensible introduction later, Mort was now looking at the six ponies and one dragon from the floor, the note cards reduced to shreds. The emotional atmosphere now consisted of pity, embarrassment, and perplexity. He really wanted to just fade into the ground, pop up outside the library, and get away as fast as he could.
Spike broke the silence. He didn't try very hard to be quiet. “This is going to be a long day, isn't it?” The exasperation in his tone said everything about what the dragon thought.
“Spike!” Twilight Sparkle scolded, causing the dragon to roll his eyes. The unicorn ignored it and walked over to Mort, offering an apologetic smile. He was a little relieved to see she was looking more receptive than when he first arrived. That was something, at least. “I'm sorry about that, Spike's a good dragon, he just has a tendency to run his mouth a little.” She offered a helping hoof, and said, “Welcome to Ponyville, Mort. I'm Twilight Sparkle. It's very nice to meet you!”
“Oh, uh, thanks.” He took her hoof and got back up. For a moment he felt an inquisitive, curious spirit, but also saw the hair standing up on Twilight's foreleg. He pulled his hoof away as soon as he was back up, not wanting a repeat of the last few minutes. “I'm Mort, and it's nice to meet you, too.” He paused a moment. “W-wait, I already introduced myself, didn't I? Uh, it's just nice to meet you, then.”
Twilight Sparkle giggled. “There's no reason to be nervous, Mort. We're all friends here.”
“R-really?” Well, that had been awfully quick. He could have sworn it took more than a greeting to be friends with somepony. Admittedly, that was just based on his experiences with Celestia and Luna. Big Mac might not have been exaggerating after all.
Twilight Sparkle's smile grew even wider. “Sure we are! Right, girls?” There was a cacophony of agreement from the others. It sounded unusually quick and loud to him. “Yep,” Twilight Sparkled enthused, her smile going even wider, “we're just about the friendliest ponies in Ponyville. You wouldn't believe how much we know about being friends.
“Let me introduce you to everypony,” she said, leading him over to where the others were. “First we have—”
“HI!” Mort gave a startled jump as the pink pony with a frizzy mane suddenly sprung forward, her large eyes plastered on him. “It's great to finally meet you, Mort! I'm Pinkie Pie, by the way! It's not everyday a new pony comes to Ponyville! Well actually we're always getting new ponies but most of them aren't sent by Luna, maybe because she's only been back a couple years, but we did have Celestia send Twilight out here but that was a really, really long time a—HEY! That's a funny cloak you got! Did you get it from Zecora? She's a zebra that lives in the Everfree forest and at first we thought she was kinda creepy but then we got covered in Poison Joke and...”
Pinkie Pie bounced in circles around Mort, her words soon fading into obscurity as he tried to follow her movements. Though there wasn't any contact, he could still feel the bountiful and bubbly energy that seemed to emanate from each bounce she made, energy that swelled with joy. And he swore at one point he saw her move to his right, only to come bounding out of his left. It felt like the only way to watch her was to keep an eye at every corner of the room, and even then it may not have been a guarantee.
He was even more confused when he tried to follow her words again. “...so I put red dye in his shampoo bottle because he used to have a red mane, but then I remembered we're covered in hair so duh, of course he'd use it on his coat too, so when he came out he looked like a hairy tomato, and I didn't know if my dad was really, really mad, or if it was just the dye, so I was really scared until he started laughing really hard and–eep!” Pinky Pie squeaked as Applejack suddenly pulled on her tail in mid-bounce, and grounded her. The pink pony gave the orange mare a curious, but still quite cheerful, look.
“Now jus' calm down fer a sec, sugarcube,” Applejack said. “Ah think the fella needs a little time to digest all that.”
“W-wait,” Mort said, recalling Pinkie Pie's speech. “I lost track, what did the zebra have to do with the shampoo...?”
“Oh, uh, that's just Pinkie being Pinkie,” Twilight Sparkle said with a forced, nervous laugh. “You just, uh, never know what she's going to do next! Anyway! Next we have—”
“Let me handle this, Twilight,” the cyan pegasus said coolly, strutting forward. She whipped her rainbow mane back, and shot him a cocky look. “The name's Rainbow Dash, fastest flier in Equestria!” She stuck a hoof out in greeting, holding her head in pride. “I'm sure you've heard all about me.”
“Oh, y-yeah, I definitely remember you!” he said excitedly, shaking her hoof, and feeling a proud, almost electric pulse laced with intense commitment. “You're the one who pulled off the Sonic Rainboom, weren't you? That was just really, really awesome!” It really was: the explosion of colors, the way the air rippled outward, and the magical energy that burst out from her had been one the most awe-inspiring feats he had ever witnessed, especially in light of how difficult it was to pull off.
Like Twilight Sparkle, he could see her smile crack ever so slightly from his touch, but the compliment smoothed it over completely. “Oh yeah, I know. I'm just awesome in general.”
Mort could barely contain himself, as he recalled the events out loud. “It was just...I-I don't know, so exciting! When you broke through the barrier and just zoomed all the way down to catch Rarity and the Wonderbolts, I was just...wow,” he breathed.
Even glory-hungry ponies have a limit. Rainbow Dash blushed, looking embarrassed. “Yeah, well, y'know, no biggie.”
“Sounds like you know quite a bit about it,” Twilight Sparkled commented.
“Of course!” Mort said. “I was there!”
“You...huh? Really?” Rainbow Dash raised a confused eyebrow. “How? Where were you?”
“Oh, I...uh...” Mort went silent, realizing that it wouldn't be best to tell her he was actually on the ground, right below them, on the significant chance that she wouldn't have pulled up in time and instead plowed them all into the dirt, with results akin to a train hitting a watermelon. “Uh...I was...in a shop. R-reading an article about it...”
“But...you said you were 'there',” Rainbow Dash said slowly, air-quoting with the tips of her wings.
“Oh, uh, well, I...uh...” He mentally berated himself for running his mouth again, and wracked his mind for an answer that was at least half-way believable. “I just...uh, imagined it!”
The answer earned a queer look from Rainbow Dash, who tilted her head to one side. Similar looks were shared between the others in the room.
“Y-you know,” he continued, “in my mind. With...imagination...?”
Rainbow Dash continued to stare at him, before snickering to herself. “Well, Mort, imagination's nice, but it's got nothin' on reality!” In an instant the pegasus was already in the air, shooting him a daring look. “When I show my moves off later, I'm gonna move so fast your head will spin!” She suddenly dived past him, and the force of it sent him spinning around in circles. He tried to steady himself, but only succeeded in getting his bony hooves tangled with his cloak again, ready to topple over.
“Oh!” Mort felt a pony get right beside him, keeping him from tipping over completely. In that moment he felt a spirit that was refined and elegant, with heavy doses of generosity, and more than a little obsessive compulsiveness. He glanced to his left to see that Rarity had stopped his fall. “Honestly, Rainbow Dash! Use your inside flying.” Her horn glowed, and Mort felt himself lifted up as a magical force went to work on the cloak, untangling it from his hooves and even straightening it out for him.
“There we go!” she said, depositing him gracefully on the ground. “Is that better, dear?”
“Um, o-oh, yeah, thank you very much,” he said, tentatively swinging one hoof around. “You're very good at, uh, untangling things.”
“You're very welcome, Mort, and thank you. I get a lot of practice from untangling my sister from my fabrics.” She flipped her mane to one side while fluttering her eyes, a small smile on her face. “And might I say it is a pleasure to meet you!”
“Y-you too,” he said, finding it unusually difficult to look away. Mort found himself feeling strange, though not unpleasant, feelings. He was fairly sure that this was the first time anypony had ever looked at him like this...
There was a polite cough, and Twilight Sparkle came in between them. “Uh, so, yeah! Mort, this is Rarity. She runs a boutique in Ponyville, and makes some really amazing dresses.”
“Oh, but my talents go far beyond dresses!” Rarity giggled excitedly. “In fact, I've just put the finishing touches on a special outfit this morning, and I'm sure you would look absolutely dashing in it!”
“I...uh...um...uh...” Mort gulped, feeling his insides twisting into knots. He finally managed to look away from Rarity's half-closed eyes, and as a result made eye contact with Spike. The baby dragon was crossing his arms, shooting the shade a dirty look. If he were capable of sweating, he was sure Twilight Sparkle would need a mop to clean it.
“Wow, that's so generous of you, Rarity.” Twilight Sparkle suddenly slid up close to him, nudging his shoulder. “A whole new outfit, just for you, Mort! Isn't that great?”
“Y-yeah,” he murmured quietly, still feeling the heated look from the baby dragon. “That's, uh, great...”
“Glad to hear it! Now, next I want you to meet...Fluttershy?”
Mort was looking at Applejack, who looked back with a sheepish grin. The earth pony side-stepped out of the way, revealing the yellow pegasus that had been hiding behind her. Fluttershy squeaked in surprise as her cover left her, and she shrunk back, most of her face hiding behind the pink mane that seemed to flow across it.
“Hel...hel...hello,” the pegasus whispered, more silent than a gentle breeze.
“Hi...” he said, just as quietly.
The two of them stood their silently. Mort awkwardly scratched at the floor, as Fluttershy seemed to take interest in many, nonexistent things in the room, always managing to keep most of her face hidden. Mort felt the strangest compulsion to dash forward and squeeze her, half-expecting an adorable squeak to be emitted.
In fact, as he looked at her pink mane and yellow coat, and his eyes wandered over to the butterflies that decorated Fluttershy's flank, distant memories came to the forefront. “You haven't fallen off any clouds recently, have you?”
“Huh?”
“O-oh, nothing,” he said quickly, mentally berating himself. He lifted his forehoof, not really expecting the pegasus to return the gesture. She looked between him and the hoof before her, and timidly reached out to shake it. In that brief moment he felt something incredibly gentle, but at the same time fragile. Like butterflies. “So, Fluttershy,” he said, retrieving his forehoof, “um...what do you do?”
“Oh, uh, I watch over the animals at my cottage,” she said, her voice barely audible. “I feed them, clean them, make sure they get along with each other...”
“Oh, animals...” Mort thought back to a tip Luna had given him: talk about the other pony's interests. “That...must be a lot of work?”
“Sometimes,” the pegasus said, a little louder, “but it's all worth it. They're really friendly and I love to take care of them.”
“Uh huh.” Thinking back to the night before, he asked, “So, what do you think about...rabbits?”
“Rabbits?” In an instant the pegasus seemed to perk up, a gleam in her eye. “Oh, they're wonderful! They're small, fluffy, and oh, so cute!”
“Really?” He gave a silent thanks to the rabbit shade. “So, like, they're your favorite?”
“Oh, I could never pick a favorite,” she said, with a shake of her long mane. “I like them all for lots of different reasons, though...I do have a special rabbit friend named Angel. Actually, later today I'm hoping to, well...introduce you to him and all the others.”
“Oh, um, sounds fun.” Mort didn't have much experience in animals, or at least not the ones Fluttershy would care for. The animals he was most familiar with typically had a taste for pony flesh, and he was pretty certain they would not be considered cute or friendly in most circles. Still, seeing the occasional pony cuddle their pet did make him curious about what it'd be like...
There was a relived breath from Twilight Sparkle. “Well, I'm glad you think so, Mort. Now over here we have—”
“Howdy there, Mort! Name's Applejack!” Mort looked to his right just in time to find the orange, earth pony shaking his other hoof with both of hers. Mort jittered on the spot, feeling a suspiciously similar spirit to the one Big Mac had, if more down-to-earth and a little motherly.
But before he could dwell on it further, the earth pony had let him go, shivering a little herself. “Hoo wee, Mort, yer feelin' awful cold! Wouldn't think so with that getup of yers. You feelin' alright, sugarcube?”
“Huh? O-oh, of course! I'm just not too...uh, warm blooded, I guess.” His eyes traveled along her side, spotting the trio of apples decorating her flank. That, her accent and what he felt from her made him wonder of a possible connection. “Uh, Applejack, you wouldn't happen to work on an apple farm or something nearby, would you?”
“Well shewt, how'd ya guess?” the orange pony asked with playful sarcasm, tipping her hat back. “Bet you probably saw it on the way over 'ere. Hope all them apples got yer stomach rumblin', 'cause we're gonna be diggin' into them later today.”
“Funny you should mention that, because...” But before he could continue, his eyes caught a green fin that was near the edge of his vision. He glanced down, and saw the baby dragon looking at him inquisitively while rubbing his chin. It was certainly a step up from the looks he got earlier. “Um...c-can I help you?”
“Hmm...” Spike peered at him with one eye, a frown forming on his face. Mort could see his spines bristling just slightly. “You look kinda...weird.”
“W-w-weird?” he stuttered, followed by a nervous laugh. His mind flashed back to when Luna told him the spell would work well enough on ponies, but had never said anything about how it would look to anything else. A feeling of panic tore at him. “I-I-I don't know what you mean!”
“Neither do I!” Twilight was at Spike's side in an instant, flinging him up by his tail onto her back. “Uh, this is Spike. He's my number one assistant!” She shot a stink eye at him. “Though his manners could use a little work.”
“Oh come on! I'm just saying—”
“Is a certain dragon volunteering to stay at the library today?” she asked him tensely.
“No,” he grumbled sourly, crossing his arms.
“Good.” She looked back at Mort, and in an instant the smile from before was back. “So, that's everypony, Mort! As you can see we got a really big day planned out for you!”
“Uh, yeah, no kidding. So, what are you...” Before he could finish, Twilight Sparkle was already tugging at his cloak and leading him towards the door. He felt a jolt of despair. “Huh? W-where are we going? I didn't say something wrong, did it?”
“Oh, no! Nothing!” Twilight Sparkled assured quickly. “You were fine, the girls and I just need a little time to, y'know, powder our noses?”
He didn't know, actually. “Why would you need to powder your noses?”
“Ha ha, oh Mort, you're hilarious.” The door opened and Mort found himself walking onto the doorstep. “Give us just a few minutes, and then we'll be taking you around Ponyville before you know it!”
“Well, if you say—”
The door slammed, drowning out the rest of his sentence. He looked at the door, fidgeting where he stood. He could hear Twilight Sparkle's voice inside, clearly discussing something with the others. He wondered if it concerned him. He had an urge to stick just enough of himself inside to listen in, but ignored it. It would just be rude.
At the very least, it had ended better than it started. Embarrassing himself like he did might have even alleviated whatever anxieties they were having when he appeared. It'd explain why Big Mac hadn't acted like that: the big pony had probably seen him grumbling and tripping over his own legs before he had spoken to him. The idea of being foolish to dispel whatever ill feelings other ponies had didn't excite him too much, but it would be better than having them all scared of him.
But then there was Spike. The illusion spell was definitely not working on the dragon as well as the other ponies. He’d have to avoid giving Spike a view of his face as much as possible. Dragons were extremely protective, often aggressively so, and he didn't want to be on the receiving end of his fire or claws. He had seen what they did to other ponies, and while he doubted that it would do actual harm to him, the others would probably wonder why he would be unscathed.
Sighing, he began to lay down, before spotting the obvious gash he had made in the library sign. He felt a twinge of panic, imagining that Twilight would think that he had vandalized her library and home.
His horn glowed, a green aura surrounding the hole. “Don't panic, you cut things all the time,” he assured himself. “Putting them back together is just...the opposite, right? This should be—”
The sign cracked as the hole became a little smaller, at the expense of the wood surrounding it, splitting apart as it was pulled in to seal the hole. The gash from before disappeared, only to be replaced by two larger cracks around the area it had been.
A feeling of dread washed over him. “Oh no.”
****
As soon as the door closed, Twilight Sparkle breathed a sigh of relief, and trotted back to the group. “Okay,” she said, with a determined smirk, “Stage 1: Introductions, is now complete! Good job, everypony!” There was a small cheer from her friends. “A little rough around the edges, but I think we definitely got the message across.”
She walked up to Pinkie Pie. “Very friendly as always, Pinkie, but tone it down just a little bit. We don't want the poor guy feeling overwhelmed. Or confused.”
The pink pony shrugged absently. “I don't see what was so confusing about it! I was just telling him how I got my cutie mark!”
“Oh. Well, of course...” Twilight Sparkle resisted a strong urge to question that point, and instead left Pinkie Pie with a forced grin. She moved on to the next pony “Rainbow Dash, I'm glad you found yourself another fan already, but please be more careful when you're flying around him! You nearly knocked him off his hooves.”
“Hey, I'm the epitome of cool! It's what I do.” The pegasus grinned cockily, but it quickly wilted under Twilight’s stare. “Okay, okay,” she said briskly, “I'll be more careful next time. Geeze.”
“Don't take it the wrong way, Dash. I just don't want to explain any scrapes or bruises to the princess, and I take it neither do you.” The pegasus' eyes widened at the latter possibility, and nodded nervously. “Rarity, you were great, but...I'm sorry, you weren't flirting with him, were you?”
The white unicorn smiled coyly. “Well, I think 'flirting' is a little strong, Twilight. I just wanted to make the best, possible impression. Improve his self esteem, as it were. What better way than to draw the eyes of a very fair and fabulous mare?”
“So this isn't going to be another Blueblood?” Rainbow Dash teased.
Rarity sniffed. “Believe me when I say I am done fantasizing about my ideal stallion. They were swept away in a tide of buttercream frosting and apple filling.”
“Ooh, I know it was a rotten, nasty thing for that snobby prince to do, but having a cake thrown at you sounds like so much fun!” Pinkie Pie licked her lips at the idea. “Winner's whoever can catch the most with their mouth!”
“Focus, girls,” Twilight Sparkle interjected. “Rarity, I understand what you're going for, but...well, be careful. The guy doesn't get out much. You might intimidate him.”
“Me? Intimidating? Oh, perish the thought, Twilight,” Rarity dismissed with a wave of her hoof.
Twilight Sparkle didn't feel Blueblood or the diamond dogs would agree. She moved on to Applejack. “Applejack, great job, just remember, not everypony has the strength you have.”
The farmer chuckled. “We're all 'bout strong impression's, Twi'. But Ah'll keep it in mind, feller almost felt like a twig!”
“Great, and Fluttershy...”
“Nooo!” Fluttershy covered her head with both forelegs, looking pleadingly at the shocked librarian. “Please don't scold me, Twilight! I can't take it! I'll try harder next time, really!”
Twilight Sparkle stared perplexedly at the pegasus. “Actually, Fluttershy, I thought you did really well. Granted, that was after you stopped hiding behind Applejack...” Twilight paused for a moment, thinking. “What was with that, anyway? I know you're...well, shy, but it's been a while since I've seen you like that...”
The pegasus blushed, then got back on her hooves. “Well, it's just...I don't know, Twilight, before he started talking he just seemed really...” The pegasus gulped at the recollection. “Scary.”
“Oh Fluttershy,” Twilight said gently, with a roll of her eyes. “What's so scary about him?”
“Now to be fair, Twi', Ah kinda felt somethin' too.” Applejack shrugged her shoulders. “Ah mean, Ah wouldn't say Ah was scared, but Ah did feel a wee on-edge.”
Rainbow Dash scratched her chin. “Y'know, I guess he did look a little spooky. Not that I was spooked or anything,” she added quickly.
Pinkie Pie fidgeted. “Usually I feel like hopping when I meet new ponies, but this time I felt...floppy? Ploppy...?” The pink pony shook her head, quietly murmuring words to herself.
“That dreary cloak of his didn't help,” Rarity remarked. “I can't wait to get him out of those sheets and into something much more cheerful.”
“Oh come on,” Twilight Sparkle said dismissively. “He tripped on the way in! How's that 'scary'?”
Rainbow Dash considered for a moment, then snickered. “Okay, yeah, that was kinda funny.”
“So you didn't feel anythin' like that, sugarcube?” Applejack shot her a questioning look. “You were hunky-dory the moment he got here?”
“Well...” The unicorn hesitated. She had felt something when Mort had appeared. She couldn't put a hoof on what it was, exactly. She had felt unusually anxious, and for some reason there was a feeling of utter inevitability. A disquieting powerlessness.
Then again, she was taking on an important assignment. And she was always afraid of disappointing the princesses. “It's nothing I haven't felt before,” she stated with a casual shrug.
“I told you he was weird,” a voice grumbled.
Twilight Sparkle frowned and turned to Spike. “Alright, you definitely need a scolding, mister!” She stomped her hoof for emphasis. “What were you thinking, saying something like that in front of him?!”
“I couldn't help it!” he said defensively. “I mean, just...just look at him! How many ponies have you seen that look like that?”
“What'cha mean, Spike?” Applejack asked quizzically. “Sure, the feller were a bit pale...”
“And a bit thin,” Rarity added.
“He didn't look too terribly healthy,” Fluttershy said quietly.
Spike groaned in frustration. “I'm talkin' about the eyes! How many ponies are there with red eyes?”
“Oh Spike,” Twilight Sparkled sighed, “his eyes aren't red. They're...” She stopped, and found herself unable to remember. Which was bizarre, she could've sworn she had looked at his face enough times to see it. “Um...what color were his eyes?” she asked her friends, sheepishly.
“Ooh, ooh! Pink! They were pink!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed, waving her hoof in the air like a filly in school. “Really, really pink!”
“Pink eyes? Pale...” Rarity tapped her chin in deep thought. “You girls don't suppose Mort is some sort of albino, do you?”
“I wasn't even sure there was such thing as an albino pony,” Fluttershy said. “Albinos are pretty sensitive to sunlight, though...”
Applejack nodded affirmatively. “Well, that'd explain the cloak, alright.”
Spike groaned in frustration. “It's not just the eyes! His horn's...I never saw a unicorn horn all sharp or curved like that!”
“It didn't look that weird, Spike, and sometimes horns will develop differently!” Twilight gave an exasperated sigh. “Okay, look. Spike, your opinion is duly noted, but it shouldn't even matter what a pony looks like! I could've sworn I raised you better than to judge another pony based on his appearance!”
“But Twilight, I...” The dragon moaned miserably. “He just...I don't know, he rubs me the wrong way! It's like dragon instincts or something.” He closed his palms together, and to her shock, gave her a pleading look. “Come on, Twilight. I'm not trying to be mean or anything, I just...he doesn't feel good. I know that sounds lame, but the others felt that way too, right? Doesn't that mean something?”
“It's not fair to judge a pony on gut instinct alone, Spike. It's why so many ponies avoided Zecora, and you saw how nice she turned out to be. As for me and the others...” She shrugged. “Well, I think we all had a very different idea of what he'd be like. It was just a little surprising. And just because we felt like that, doesn't make us right. Besides, he was sent here by Luna! Doesn't that mean something?”
Spike sighed, crossing his arms. “I guess,” he muttered quietly.
“Look, just give him a chance, okay?” Twilight lowered her head until she was eye-level with Spike. “You warmed up to Owlowiscious just fine, didn't you?”
“Yeah, but he's an owl,” he grumbled. “This guy's...” He searched for the words, before quitting and returning to his pout.
“Come on,” she implored, “it's just for a day. Give him a chance. For Luna? For me?”
He glanced at her, his eyes contemplative. She gave him the biggest puppy eyes she could muster, the ones she usually used when she wanted him to help with a lot of chores. The dragon struggled internally, his eyes darting to and from her eyes, sweat beading down his face, before finally sagging in defeat. “Fine,” he sighed, “but I'm keeping my eyes on him, okay?”
“So long as it's just your eyes.” She used her head to scoop him up, and he plopped down on her back. “Okay, I think we've been in here long enough. Everypony ready?” There was a chorus of agreement, and she felt it embolden her. “Alright then! First stop, Rarity's boutique!”
“Woo hoo!” Pinkie Pie cheered. “Stage 2: Makeover!”
In a moment, Twilight and her friends were outside the library, and saw Mort standing in front of the library sign, his back turned to them. “Sorry about that, Mort, you ready—”
“Ididn'tdoit!” Twilight took a step back, the cloaked pony spinning around on the spot to look at her with wide eyes. Seeing her, the pony took a few looks around, backing up against the sign. “Uh...uh, I-I mean...good. Good.”
“Yeah...good.” She took a mental note not to sneak up on Mort in the future. “So, are you ready?”
“Uh, o-oh, yeah!” He nodded his head vigorously. “Just, uh...lead the way, Twilight! And Applejack and...um, all of you, really...”
“Sure...” She took to the path, watching Mort rotate in place, looking nervously at her. Her friends followed suit, and it wasn't until Mort was alone that he decided to join them. As unusual as the behavior was, she just shrugged it off as another quirk.
It wasn't long before all of them were moving through the center of town. Shops and restaurants were opening their doors, and the citizens of Ponyville were now going about their daily routine. They were picking up groceries for their homes, dining at the nearby restaurants, or just simply hanging out with each other.
Mort by then had moved slightly ahead, so that he was in the center of their group, and he seemed to be anxiously looking around.
“Are you okay, Mort?” she asked, concerned.
“Huh? O-oh, yeah, I'm fine. Just...there's a lot more ponies here than I thought...” He gulped. “Um, a-are they all looking at me?”
Twilight glanced around. They were drawing quite a few stares, some stopping what they were doing just to look at them. Looking back at Mort, she saw him nervously glancing back and forth, trying to avoid eye contact.
“Ponyville's a small town, Mort,” she stated. “They know when they get visitors.”
“Not to mention you're in the company of practical celebrities, darling,” Rarity chimed in. “I don't mean to brag, but each of us have made headlines, one way or another. For better...or worse.” She said the last two words with an embarrassed blush.
“But mostly better!” Rainbow Dash jumped and floated in the air, doing a little twirl. “I keep telling the mayor she should just start advertising us! You know, like...” She threw her forelegs up in a grandiose fashion. “'Ponyville: Home of Rainbow Dash, Winner of the Young Fliers Competition!'”
“As Ah recall,” Applejack said candidly, “when you proposed that to the mayor, she said that if yer head got any bigger, there wouldn't be any room for the town!”
There was a chorus of giggles from the others, causing the athletic pegasus to fume. “Hey, come on, Applejack! I brought up you guys too! 'Ponyville: Home of Twilight Sparkle, Hero of Equestria!' 'Ponyville: Home of Ex-Super Model Fluttershy!' 'Ponyvile: Home of—'”
“Wait, wait,” Mort cut in, his tone one of disbelieve. “Did you say 'ex-super model Fluttershy'? Fluttershy was a model?”
Fluttershy seemed to glow red. “Um, yes, but just for a little while. I couldn't take being the center of so much attention...”
“Yeah, I...I don't usually get this sort of attention, either,” he said quietly.
“It's awful, isn't it?” she said. “You feel like you have no privacy, you can't get a moments peace...”
“And that the moment you mess up everypony's going to run you out of town and never want to be near you again,” Mort said, his voice tense.
Twilight Sparkle stopped and stared at him, as did the rest of her friends. Mort avoided their eyes, scratching at the ground. An awkward silence descended upon the group.
“Um...maybe not that bad,” Fluttershy whispered.
Pinkie Pie hopped up next to Mort, suddenly hugging him. “Aw, you don't need to be worried about a thing, Morty!”
Mort blinked. “Morty...?”
“Ponyville's one of the friendliest places in Equestria! Heck, even the meanies leave on their own!” Pinkie Pie giggled. “You would have to do something really, really, really, really bad for something like that to happen!”
“I-if you say so,” he mumbled, not sounding entirely convinced.
Twilight Sparkle's ears drooped in disbelieve. Luna had told them he hadn't gotten out much, but what he just said had been downright cynical. She briefly imagined him having a black hole from which no confidence or optimism could escape.
She changed the subject quickly. “So, Mort! You know what we do, but I've been really curious about your work...”
“Oh, yeah!” Rainbow Dash came in closer, looking at him eagerly. “Come on, spill the beans, Mort! What's the one thing you can do that no other pony can? Are you like a secret agent or something? Is it a 'I could tell you but then I’d have to kill you' thing?”
“What? Oh, no! No! I could never kill anything!” Mort shook his head furiously, sounding horrified. “That, that'd just be...brr, I get shivers just thinking about it!”
“Whoah, whoah! Calm down, Mort! It was only a joke,” Rainbow Dash reassured.
“It's just we've been mighty curious about the stuff you do,” Applejack said. “Luna made it sound all important like.”
“Oh, well, it's definitely important, I'm...uh...” Mort paused, scratching at his chin. What did Big Mac call him? “Uh...a collector? Yeah, that's it...”
“A collector?” Rarity asked, confused. “But...I don't understand, dear, couldn't any pony do that?”
“Uh, well...not the things I collect,” Mort explained, reluctantly. “It's...the stuff I collect is very, very valuable, and I have to do it all across Equestria. I can't really afford not to do it.”
Applejack whistled. “All 'cross Equestria, huh? Must be pretty excitin', though. All them different sights and sounds, and you get to see lots of different ponies and what not.”
“Every pony, really,” Mort added. “Uh...w-well, that's what it feels like sometimes, at least.”
“What sort of things do you collect?” Fluttershy asked. “Are they ancient artifacts?”
“Well, sometimes they're ancient, and sometimes they're...not,” he said, unusually solemn. “I, uh...really can't go into details about it, to be honest.”
“Yes!” Rainbow Dash pumped her forelegs in the air. “Secret agent stuff! I knew it!”
“I'm not a secret agent,” Mort said, slightly annoyed. “Really.”
“Of course not, Mort, of course not.” Rainbow Dash winked knowingly at him. “You're a 'collector'.”
Twilight Sparkle rolled her eyes, though she had to admit that Mort's reluctance to talk about it was unusual. What could a pony collect that's too secret to talk about, too important to leave to more than one pony, so demanding it would take all their time to do it, and would be something Luna would know about? A couple ideas came to mind, ones that forced her to remind herself that Luna wasn't like that. Or at the very least, she hoped not.
“Okay, I think that's all for right now,” Twilight Sparkle said. “If he can't go into details, he can't go into details.”
“Yes, more time out here is less time for him to try out that outfit I have.” Rarity clopped her hooves together, squealing in delight. “Oh Mort, I know you're going to love it! You'll be the first one to try it on!”
Mort stopped in his tracks, and stared at Rarity. “Try it on?”
“Oh, but of course! I'm sure a fine pony like you would just be dazzling in it!” Rarity fluttered her eyes at him again, moving her face close to his. Twilight heard Spike growling behind her, and was afraid he'd begin digging some very sharp claws into her back. Mort looked nervously at Twilight, and the librarian smiled reassuringly at him.
“Hey, there's nothing to worry,” she told him. “It'll just be a change of clothes.”
“R-right...” The hooded pony, sounding unconvinced, was silent the rest of the way.
The inside of Rarity's home was a cool relief compared to the heat outside. Twilight Sparkle and her friends filed inside, Mort being the last one in. They made their way towards Rarity's display room, where Mort drifted towards the center, spinning slowly in place as he took the whole room in.
“Wow,” he breathed in awe, “this place is...fancy!” He stepped towards a rack of dresses, sliding them over one by one. “You made all of these?”
Rarity beamed with pride. “Absolutely, darling! I've put my blood, sweat and tears into each one.”
“Gah!” Mort withdrew his hoof sharply, staring at Rarity with horror-lit eyes. “W-why would you do that?!”
Rarity blinked in surprise. Twilight Sparkle herself couldn't help but stare in bafflement. “Mort, it's just an expression,” the librarian explained.
“Oh...” He chuckled nervously, scratching the back of his head. “Uh, y-yeah, of course. Heh heh...”
“You really don't get out much, do you?” Applejack asked, with an arched eyebrow.
Before the conversation could continue, a sudden mew alerted everyone. Twilight Sparkle looked to see the groomed Opalescence walking towards Rarity, a can of food in her mouth. The cat plopped it in front of her owner, giving Rarity an almost petulant look.
Rarity gasped. “Oh, my poor baby! I almost forgot...” Her horn glowed, and the top of the can was peeled off. The cat looked at the food inside, then shot an impatient look at Rarity. Rarity grinned sheepishly, and a moment later her horn glowed again, but this time to collect items from the kitchen: a jewel encrusted food bowl, a butter knife, and some parsley. The food was cut up, dumped in the dish, and finally garnished. Only then did the cat seem satisfied, and it began to eat.
“Dang, Rarity. You sure know how to spoil them,” Rainbow Dash said, somewhat put off by the display.
“Oh come now,” Rarity said with a sniff. “She's practically my baby! I'm sure you'd do the same for Tank.” Rarity stepped aside, and motioned for Mort to come closer. “Mort, why don't you say hi to her? She's a sweetie once you get to know her!”
“I-I don't know...” Mort said, looking uncertainly at the feline.
Rarity smiled disarmingly. “Oh, don't worry! Just give her a little scratch on the head or back.”
“O-oh, but not too close to the tail,” Fluttershy suddenly said. “She, um, gets a teensy irritated if you pet there.”
Opalescence ignored the exchange, looking content enough to just focus on her food. Mort looked once more at Rarity, who only nodded encouragingly. The hooded pony moved closer to the cat, extending a hoof out.
The cat looked up from the food, hissing for a moment. Then, as if a switch were flipped, the cat's eyes suddenly shrunk to a quarter of their size, and her fur stood so far up she looked like a fuzz ball with legs. The cat jumped in the air with a screech, hanging there for a few seconds before darting off into the boutique, strands of fur trailing behind her.
“Oh no! Opal, what's wrong?” Rarity pursued her pet, leaving a speechless Mort, who still stood with his hoof outstretched.
“Um...” Mort awkwardly put his hoof back down, and looked apologetically at the others. “I'm sorry...?”
“Eh, no big deal,” Rainbow Dash said, unfazed. “That cat hardly likes anypony, anyway! Big scaredy cat.”
“Oh you hush!” Rarity huffed from a doorway, before returning her attention to her cat, calling her name.
“Guess animals aren't my thing,” Mort said, sounding dejected.
“Ah, cheer up!” Applejack said, patting him on the back. “You'll get plenty more chances later today!”
“That's what I'm afraid of,” the hooded pony muttered.
Twilight was ready to say something to hopefully lighten his mood, but by then Rarity was already walking back towards them, sighing softly. “I'm so sorry about that, dear. Opal's rather picky about other ponies, I'm afraid. But it's nothing to worry about! After all, you're here to look fabulous!”
Twilight Sparkle watched as the unicorn moved in a stately fashion towards a pair of satin curtains. “Now,” Rarity started, “feast your eyes on this!”
With a theatrical wave of her hoof, her magic parted the curtain, unveiling what was hidden behind it. Twilight Sparkle and her friends couldn't contain an awed ooh as they saw it. A ponnequin stood on a podium, wearing an ocean blue suit. Gold thread was intertwined along the hems of the sleeves and coat, in complex patterns that must have taken incredible concentration. The vent extended as far as the flank, and split down the center. Gold tassels adorned where the shoulders would be, and the coat would close using a series of diamond-studded buttons. The left lapel had a single, large ruby that was oval in shape.
It wasn't nearly as flashy as some of Rarity's other works, but it had a regal quality to it that one would normally only see in Canterlot. Twilight turned to Mort, eager to see what he thought. The cloaked pony stepped towards the suit, looking it over. He murmured to himself quietly and, to Twilight’s slight distress, she had a hard time deciphering the expression he had.
“Um...” He poked at the suit, as if expecting something to leap out. “You want me to...wear this?”
Rarity looked taken aback. “Well, yes, darling. That was the plan...”
“Oh...” Mort didn't sound very excited. Twilight could feel the comfort levels dropping at break neck speed. Fluttershy crouched onto the floor, the scene no doubt looking all too familiar.
Rarity's smile faltered. “Is there something wrong with it?” she asked, almost sounding hurt.
It was a tone Mort picked up on immediately. “O-oh no, no! Nothing's wrong! I-I mean you did a really good job weaving everything together, and these gems are...” His horn glowed briefly. “...practically free of inclusions, but it's...well...” He waved a hoof around where the ponnequin's head was. “Isn't it a tad drafty, up around here?”
Rarity blinked, taken off guard by the comment. It was probably the first time a pony had ever questioned how “drafty” an outfit was. “What? Do you mean like a hat?”
“Well, more like a hood. You know, like...” He tugged at his own hood for emphasis.
“Well of course, silly!” Pinkie Pie interjected, leaping over to him. “It's a suit! Only sweaties and raincoats have hoodies!”
A look of realization crossed Rarity's face. “Oh, I almost forgot! This is all about your condition, isn't it?”
Mort tilted his head to one side. “Huh? Condition?”
“Ooh, that's right!” Pinkie Pie said, realizing it herself. “Morty can't be in the sun too much!”
“Oh...uh, oh! Yeah! I-I don't really get along with the sun too well,” Mort suddenly said. The reaction confused Twilight. It almost sounded he had to reach the same conclusion himself.
Pinkie Pie's eyes widened. “Ooh, that reminds me! Rarity, where's your beach stuff?”
“Oh, it's down the—”
Whoosh.
“—hall.” Rarity stared at where Pinkie Pie used to be, seeing only a dust cloud that vaguely resembled her in shape. “Gracious!” She pulled a feather duster from a nearby shelf, and dissipated the unusually pink cloud. Twilight fought that all-too-common temptation to try and explain how Pinkie Pie managed something like that.
“Anyway,” Rarity said, as if nothing unusual had happened, “you don't have anything to worry about, Mort. There's absolutely zero sunlight in here, and after you show us how you look—”
Mort coughed fiercely, cutting Rarity off. “Uh, actually, couldn't I just try it on in private? Alone?”
Rarity stared at him, dumbfounded. “Alone? But dear, the point of any outfit is—”
“Please?” he pleaded.
“And I assure you, my friends and I honestly don't care how you look or—”
“Please?” he pleaded again, almost sounding desperate.
Rarity bit her lip, looking conflicted. Twilight bit her lip too, confused not just by Rarity's reluctance to Mort's request, but Mort's insistence on being alone as well.
After a moment’s consideration, Rarity reluctantly said, “Well...if that's what you really want, Mort.”
“Thanks!” Mort's horn glowed as he levitated the suit off the ponnequin, a green light that gave Twilight goosebumps. Mort nodded appreciatively at Rarity, who smiled back weakly. “So, do you have a dressing room...?”
“Of course, it's down the hall, dear.” Rarity pointed in the direction to go. Mort nodded appreciatively and trotted down the hall. Rarity watched him go, disappointment etched in her face.
“What's wrong, Rarity?” Fluttershy asked.
The alabaster unicorn sighed. “Oh, it's no big deal, Fluttershy. I just wanted to—”
Suddenly, there was a familiar yowl, and the mares had to sidestep a white streak as it zoomed past them, only to bury itself in a basket filled with balls of yarn.
Mort's voice echoed from down the hall. “Um, I think I found Opal,” he said, which was soon followed by the sound of a door closing.
Minutes passed. Fluttershy began to look at some spare dresses Rarity had hanging out, while Rainbow Dash flipped through an old Equestrian Times with a bored expression on her face. Twilight and Applejack were both watching Rarity with a bit of unease. The white unicorn was pacing in circles, shooting anxious looks at the door Mort had walked through.
“I wonder how it fits him. Is it too tight? Is the fabric comfortable? Maybe I used too many gems, or too few...” She looked at the librarian and apple farmer. “The suit was fine, wasn't it?”
Twilight sighed. “For the third time, Rarity, yes, I think it was fine.”
“I'd definitely wear it if it came in my size,” Spike added from on top of Twilight.
“Why you so worked up 'bout this, anyway?” Applejack asked.
“I can't help it!” she said, shaking her head. “This is the first outfit I've woven with a stallion in mind, and the whole dynamic is just completely different! I really wanted to make sure what I made is actually up to my standards.” She sighed. “Not only that, but did you hear what he said? He doesn't want to be seen in it!”
“He's probably just really self-conscious,” Twilight reasoned.
“About what, though?” Rarity moaned, stomping her hooves in agitation. “Oh, why doesn't he want us looking at him? What sort of stallion is hiding underneath that cloak of his? Is he a handsome pony with no confidence in himself? A gentlecolt with a disfiguring scar from some past tragedy? Maybe...maybe he's a prince who's just trying to get away from it all and...” Her eyes widened, and she facehoofed in frustration. “Oh goodness, I'm fantasizing again.”
Twilight was now seeing why Rarity had been so adamant about seeing him try the suit on, and she felt like facehoofing herself. “Really, Rarity? You just want to see what he looks like?”
“Ooh, I can't help it, Twilight! He's a mysterious pony, with a duty he won't talk about and with a face he won't let us see! It's like the beginning of some grand, romantic story, don't you think?”
“Ah dunno,” Applejack said. “Ah don't read too many of them trashy books, but Ah'd think that kind of pony wouldn't be readin' from note cards, or getting' all nervous every time somepony looks at him.”
“Trashy? Hmph!” Rarity looked away disdainfully, her eyes landing on the basket that Opalescence had retreated to. Her expression changed to one of pity, and she approached the balls of yarn that were currently shivering. “Oh, my poor baby! You shouldn't have to hide like that...”
Rarity's horn glowed, and the balls of yarn fell away as the white feline was lifted from the basket, her eyes darting around the room. The cat mewled pathetically, her hair still standing on end.
What caught Twilight's eye, however, was the necklace around the cat's neck. “Hey, isn't that...?”
Rarity brought the cat closer, as the mares all huddled around the feline. Rarity removed the necklace from the cat, dangling it in the air for everypony to see. The most obvious thing Twilight noticed was the silver medallion attached to it.
“Isn't that Mort's?” Rainbow Dash asked, poking the medallion with her hoof.
Rarity put Opalescence down gently, allowing the cat to flee towards the stairs. “Now how could Opal get this?” she wondered out loud.
“Maybe it got caught on her when she was running from Mort?” Fluttershy suggested.
Applejack raised a skeptical brow. “That'd take some funky maneuverin', don't ya think?”
“What is it, anyway?” Twilight twirled the the medallion in the air with a hoof, looking at the front of it. There was an alicorn on the front with its wings stretching along the sides, with a crescent-shaped moon stone in the center. “This seems kinda familiar...”
Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. “Yeah, I wonder what else could be associated with alicorns and the moon...”
“That's not what I meant!” Twilight retorted. “I know it's Luna, but I could've sworn I've seen this somewhere before...”
Applejack hummed thoughtfully. “Well, the feller said he's a 'collector', so maybe he got it off some auction?”
Spike had leaned forward, hungrily licking his lips. “He's got good taste in gemstones, at least.”
“Oh I agree, this is just gorgeous.” Rarity brought the necklace closer to her, her eyes admiring the piece of jewelry. “Such fine metal work, and the moonstone was cut so perfectly! I'd love to meet whoever crafted this.”
“Well, just ask Mort when he comes out,” Twilight told her. “I wonder if he even knows it's out here...”
Rarity stared at her, the unicorn's eyes widening. “You know what, Twilight? You bring up a good point.”
Twilight did not like the look Rarity was giving her. “Um, okay...?”
“Why, if I had lost something this valuable, I would want it returned right away!” she said, with a small, theatrical flare. “Especially if I wanted to see how it goes with my wardrobe...”
“Oh, no,” Applejack said, shaking her head. “Rarity, you are not thinkin' about—”
But Rarity was already trotting towards the dressing room, the necklace suspended with her magic. The rest of them gave each other shocked looks, and ran after her. She knocked on the door just as the others caught up.
“Rarity, what you doing?” Twilight hissed quietly. Rarity held a hoof to her lips, giving her a playful wink.
“Who is it?” Mort asked from behind the door.
“Oh, it's just me, darling!” Rarity said casually. “How does the suit fit?”
“Oh, it's great!” Mort replied enthusiastically. “You're a real expert!”
“You flatter me, Mort,” she said. “But don't you think you would look even better with your necklace?”
“What are you talking about? It's right...” There was a brief silence as the stallion inside trailed off. It was then broken by a panicked shout. “Oh, no! No, no, no! Where is it?! What happened to it?!” What followed was the sound of one pony making a mad dash around the room, as objects were heard being lifted, shoved, and dropped.
The reaction made Twilight and her friends share a bewildered look. Rarity in particular was cringing, no doubt worrying that her room was being torn apart. “I-it's okay, Mort!” Twilight said quickly, hoping to calm him. “We found it out here! Opal had it with her.”
“Opal? How could...wait, maybe when I...oh, I can't believe I let that happen!” He moaned miserably. “If I had lost it...”
The sound garnered sympathetic looks from most of them, with Applejack and Rainbow Dash still looking confused.
“Oh, please don't be upset, dear,” Rarity told him through the door. “The important thing is that we found it. No harm, no foul.” She opened her mouth to say more, looking between the door, the necklace, and her friends. She pursed her lips thoughtfully. “Er, Mort, do you want this now, or...?”
“Yes! Right away!” Mort answered rapidly. “The sooner, the better!”
“Well, if you insist!” Rarity said cheerfully, shooting a sly grin at her friends.
Twilight gawked at her friend. Before anything else could be said about the matter, Rarity had already opened the door and marched in. She had just enough time to hear Mort's surprised squawk before she shut the door behind her.
There was a moment of silence, broken only when Rainbow Dash started giggling. “Oh man, I can't believe she did that!”
Twilight glared at her. “It's not funny, Rainbow Dash! He wanted to be alone for a reason!”
Rainbow Dash waved her hoof dismissively. “Oh, lighten up, Twilight. Sometimes you just gotta give guys like that a little push! I mean, if he's here to relax, wouldn't it be easier if he weren't so worried about his looks?”
“Well, I...I suppose it'd be better,” she admitted. “But if we're not careful, it could all backfire, too...”
“Oh, well, if anypony would be careful about something like that, it'd be Rarity,” Fluttershy said. “She knows all about self-esteem.”
Applejack reoriented her Stetson, sighing. “Guess we'll just have to wait and see...”
The four ponies (plus one dragon) waited by the door. Minutes passed with the barest of sound coming from behind the door. Rainbow Dash began to pace around the three of them, and even Applejack was tapping her hoof impatiently.
“Ugh, what's taking her?” Spike asked, irritated. “How long does it take to return a dumb necklace?”
Applejack grinned teasingly at Spike. “Maybe she wasn't that far off on the whole 'prince' thing.”
Spike hmphed, and continued to pout towards the door.
“Well, if nothing's happened, then maybe Mort didn't take it so bad after all,” Twilight said hopefully. Maybe Rarity had been on to something after all. “Do you hear anything, Fluttershy?”
Fluttershy approached the door quietly, placing an ear on it. “Um, well, I think I hear—”
Fluttershy couldn't get the next words out before the air was filled with the sound of something crashing, and then Rarity's terror-stricken scream.