The Daily Show presents: Equestrian Interviews

by Daily Show Ponies

Episode 13 [Fancy Pants]: Let's paint the town red

Whenever the chance presented itself Jon liked to have a movie night with the entire family. In jest he would say he did so because it was the only activity where his two children would actually sit still and be quiet for an extended period of time. While there was some truth in that he mainly just found himself enjoying spending time with those he loved most.

The entire Stewart family, which now included Trixie, spent the next hour and a half watching their desired movie. Both Jon and Tracey continued to sit on the couch while the kids were on the floor, laying on their stomachs liked beached walruses to get a better look.

Surprisingly though Trixie herself didn't sit with the children but instead was sitting on the couch next to Tracey at her behest.

The kids' eyes were glued to the television, watching intently as they always did, but for the adults present in the room this was just a relaxing break from the day to day workload. This didn't stop them however from laughing every now and again at the silly antics of the Lumiere and Cogsworth, or admiring the choreographing of some of the song and dance scenes.

At one point during the movie Trixie herself marveled at the cinematics that was the household characters singing and dancing to the song "Be our guest." She even scoffed at the idea of common house hold items being able to talk; unaware of the irony that was her own anthropomorphism.

For Trixie this wasn't just some mere spur of the moment get together. It meant so much more since at that moment she felt more accepted within the family than ever before. Growing up in the orphanage she dreamed of moments like this, moments where a she would finally enjoy the serenity that was just being together with people as a family, in a place she could call home.

She never dreamed it would be with people of a different species or even in another world entirely but she didn't care. For the first time in years she felt genuinely happy. And she wasn't the only one pleased by this arrangement.

Tracey was very glad that Trixie decided to join; her admiration for the helpful Unicorn grew each day. At regular intervals during the movie she would show her love by reaching over with her right hand and betting Trixie's mane, sometimes even scratching her behind her ear. A leftover reflex from when she owned a dog.

Whenever this happened Trixie's baser animal instincts would kick. Ordinarily she would've disapproved about being touched in such a way since she had a pet peeve of being handled, but in this case she didn't mind. In fact if anything she enjoyed it as evident by her tail wagging whenever it happened.

While on the other side of things, Jon was just happy to be spending time with those he loved, especially since his one week vacation was coming to a close and soon he would have to go back to work. But he didn't want to think about that, all he wanted was to spend time with his wife, kids and good Unicorn friend.

He glanced over at Trixie who looked to be enjoying herself immensely. Her presence, while very much welcomed, served as a reminder that he might want to consider making the first guest to appear on his show, upon his return, an Equestrian. Another thing he didn't want to think about.

To distract himself he looked forward back at the television set just in time to see the portion of the film where Belle and the Beast shared a lovely dinner which lead up the famous dance sequence that usually found its way on the front of display cases and in commercials. It was a lovely scene that still to this day touched audiences worldwide but for Jon it gave him and idea, and idea he chose to unveil later in the evening.

Once the movie ended the once quiet kids predictably turned their attention to Trixie to ask her a slew of questions.

"What part was your favorite!?"

"Is this your first time watching a movie!?"

"Who was your favorite person!?"

"Can we watch it again!?"

One by one the kids asked her questions faster than she could answer. Taking advantage of their distraction Tracey got up and made her way towards the kitchen.

"Alright guys I'm going to get dinner started so go wash up," she said. "It'll be ready in about thirty minutes." Had this been any other night Jon would have left her to cook and his kids in the hands of Trixie while he went upstairs to do some work...but this wasn't any other night.

"Actually Tracey," Jon called out as he made his way up to her. "I've been thinking...why don't we go out for dinner...just you and me?" Stopping in her tracks Tracey looked at Jon like he had just asked her a question in a foreign language.

"Wait...Wh-- Excuse me?" She said sounding very unsure of what she had heard.

"You heard me...dinner." Jon repeated. "Just the two of us...it's been years since we both enjoyed a night on the town, I say why not. It'll be fun."

Admittedly the idea sounded appealing to her. Ever since they started having kids Jon and Tracey haven't had much quality time with just each other. Between work and parenting their social lives were almost nonexistent.

"Well I...Jon, we...we can't do that," she said dishearteningly. "It's a nice thought but...but I mean who's going to watch the k--" Tracey stopped mid-sentence as a realization took over. There still sitting on the couch was Jon's ace the hole; Trixie. Looking back at her husband Tracey saw a quirky smile appear on his face. One of the main advantages of having her around was that she could act as a babysitter, something which Tracey had momentarily forgotten.

"O-oh...OH!" Tracey exclaimed, feeling slightly on the spot. "Oh we couldn't ask her to do that...a-and on such short notice I don't think she'll--"

"Excuse me. I can hear you, you know?" Trixie interrupted as she pointed to her ears. "And for what it's worth I'd be more than willing to look after the kids tonight." Side stepping her husband, Tracey made her way to Trixie who had now leapt onto the floor to be closer to the two kids.

"Are you sure, Trixie?" Tracey asked. "It doesn't seem right asking you like this...especially since you had plans this evening."

"Trust me when I say I can handle things here while you're away," Trixie assured. "You've been working very hard lately, and you do so much for us...you deserve a night off."

Tracey was touched by her words of appreciation. Convinced that she wouldn't change her mind Tracey decided to ask Trixie one last time just.

"Are you sure?" Tracey asked, glancing over at her two children who were pretending not to eavesdrop. "I wouldn't want to-- I mean you did say you wanted to spend the rest of the night studying your magic."

"Positive. While you two are getting ready I'll get dinner started." Trixie answered as she changed the style in her voice to that of her normal tone. "Besides the Great and Powerful Trixie does not need to practice her magic...she already is the most powerful unicorn ever!"

Overwhelmed by Trixie's generous offer Tracey got down on her knees to give the kind hearted Unicorn a loving, if gentle, hug.

"Thank you Trixie," She said holding her close. "You are such a dear you could pass for Bambi's mother."

"...Who?" Trixie asked.

Her perfectly innocent question was met by disbelieving faces. Even Tracey herself jolted herself back to get a look at her face and see if she was kidding...she of course was not.

"Well, I know what we're watching for our next movie night" Jon said breaking the silence. "Common Trace let's get ready." After giving her a helping hand up the two made their way to the stairs. Trixie stayed behind to brief the kids on the situation.

"Oh this is so exciting!" Tracey said in giddy tone. "What should I wear?"

"This is a very special night honey," Jon said as the two made their way up stairs. "I'm going to set us up with a reservation at the best restaurant in the city so dress your best...I'm talking like Emmy awards show best."

"Oh I can't believe we're actually doing this!" She said as she checked the time on her wrist watch. "It's been years since we've gone anywhere without the kids."

"Well tonight, baby you've earned it," he said. The two reached the top the stairs where they stole a quick kiss before separating to different rooms. "You go get dressed; I'll let the restaurant know we're on the way." Still overpowered by anticipation Tracey raced down the hallway while Jon retreated to the comfort of his study to get changed and make the phone calls necessary for a reservation.

---

An hour had almost passed and everyone was ready to go except for one holdout. The person who orchestrated the evening's agenda, Jon himself, was still up in his study. To investigate why this was Trixie, as instructed by Tracey, went upstairs to see how he was doing.

She was a few feet away from Jon's study when a faint voice called out.

"Come in." Jon said preemptively granting her permission to enter even though she never knocked or asked in advance. Jon could always tell when Trixie was around the corner, the fact that she walked on four legs meant she gave off very distinctive footsteps.

Trixie entered to see a very elegant looking Jon Stewart. He was wearing a tuxedo and his hair, though not quite as good as on TV, was neatly done. This contrasted heavily which how he was positioned on his desk. He was slumped over his hands pressed up against his forehead with his fingers combing through his grey hair. Instead of enthusiasm, anguish seemed to leak out of every pore of his body.

He dressed like a million bucks but his face gave the impression that he had just lost all his money.

"Stewart?" Trixie said. "Is something the matter?"

"Yeah you could say that," Jon said with a heavy sigh. "The restaurants booked."

"Excuse me?" She said, rounding Jon's desk to be by his side.

"The restaurant I wanted to take Tracey to has a wait-list that's completely filled up," he answered. "They have been for the past month...they won't let us in."

"Oh that's...unfortunate." Trixie said trying and failing to sound understanding. "Well I'm sure there's another restaurant or two that have--"

"I checked," Jon interrupted. "And no...they don't."

Jon went on to explain how all the usual New York hotspots for quality dinner dates were either booked for the next few months or too busy to accommodate for the night.

"Oh poor Tracey...and she was so looking forward to this" Trixie said unintentionally rubbing salt into the wound. "She's down stairs and asked me to come up to see what was going on."

"Aw, she's already dressed up and ready to go?" Jon asked getting a quick nod of the head as an answer. "Oh please tell me she looks like a big pile of crap right now."

"Actually she's wearing her good jewelry, ruby red lipstick, and a flowing black dress." Trixie answered painting a picture of a lovely looking Tracey. "She looks quite beautiful."

"Dammit!" he said. "She's going to be so disappointed."

The two said nothing afterwards. Jon just sat in his chair thinking of what his next move would be while Trixie stood by awkwardly now knowing what to say. Though she seemed aloof she did want desperately to help Jon, but when it came to relationship advice she knew almost nothing.

She was just about to head down stairs and stall for time by telling Tracey some white lie when an idea came to mind. It was a long shot but it was the only idea she had that was worthwhile.

"You know Stewart, I'm sure a human such as yourself has a multitude of connections." Trixie said. "Connections that could get you into any restaurant you'd like."

"Trixie I'm a comedian not a politician, I don't think having Jim Carry in my Rolodex is going to get me into the 'Capsouto Frères' any time soon." Jon said. "I'm just going to have to tell Tracey that tonight's plans are off...but thanks anyway."

Rather than explaining her plan Trixie proceeded to rummage through one of Jon's desk drawers, again without permission. She buried her head inside and eventually returned with what she needed to get her point across.

"Look Stewart it's none of my business but if I we're you I might want to rethink that for a second." She said sliding him a few pieces of loose paper.

Jon looked down at what Trixie had passed to him. It was his list of pony names that he received from Celestia months ago, some of the names were crossed out while others had footnotes to the side of them. All at once the wheels in Jon's head began to turn as he suddenly realized what Trixie was trying to tell him.

"Ooooh...that! I see what you're saying!" Jon said. He grabbed the papers hastily as if they were about to fly away "...That's good...that's really good...Trixie you're a--"

"Genius?" Trixie guessed as she nonchalantly admired her hoof. "Of course I am."

As if his body was on autopilot Jon reached for the black phone that was located at the edge of his desk and began to dial a series of numbers that only he knew. Trixie, not wanting her cover to be blown, stayed quite but also stayed within close proximity to hear the impending conversation.

This was Jon's last hope.