Hands
A My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
By Andrew J. Talon
DISCLAIMER: This is a non-profit fanbased work of prose. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is the property of Hasbro, and the reinvention of the lovely Lauren Faust. No copyright infringement is intended, please support the official release.
- - -
The manticore of Equestria is fairly different from the manticore of Earth legends, though if that could be due to distortion over time due to descriptions of the beast being passed down orally or what I cannot say. In the case of the Equestrian manticore, it does not have strictly human features as in a human head. Rather, it is more like a lion above all else, though of a size greater than even prehistoric lions in the Pleistocene. The scientific name escapes me and the Equestrian human archives are very difficult to sort through for something specific, so I'll leave it to whichever human reads this journal to sort it out.
... If ever. I mean, I haven't described it a lot, I suppose. The fear of never getting home. If Earth is even still livable. I mean, in Independence Day, that mothership has a mass one fourth that of our moon and it can travel between the stars. And they blew it up right in low Earth orbit! I don't care what bullshit you try to justify it with: Unless the alien mothership had a hyperdrive or something that sucked in most of it's mass the Earth is screwed.
And my own people in real life had blown up a giant antimatter or magic or whatever powered mothership in a similar situation. Granted, my people tended to be smarter than their Hollywood counterparts (tended to be, insert your own political grievances here), and granted, I don't think the Changeling mothership was anywhere near that big but the fear remains that in our victory, we destroyed ourselves.
Making me the last of my kind. The Last Human. Hell, I just need the funny talking dog and bear hat and I'd be Finn. Well not Finn. Or Kamandi, the Last Boy... No, damnit, I'm still too old to be him. Why are all the post-apocalyptic adventure tales with more than a bit of whimsy focused on young boys?
I'm off topic again... Actually, I've been off topic since I started this with the manticore thing. But since I'm at this place, I guess I'll continue with the more emotional thought.
If I am the last human being, then that means... Well, I'm the last. Humanity ends with me. Sure, Twilight could turn herself into a human, and/or Fluttershy and we could reproduce but that's still a very, very tiny population. And would they still be human if they just had the form and DNA? What about our culture? What about our values?
I mean, if we end then it feels like... Like everything we've ever done was for nothing. Jesus, Buddha, Socrates, Plato, Sun Tzu, Boudica, Charlemagne, Leonardo da Vinci, Shakespeare, Bach, Mozart, Charles Dickens, Mary Shelley, Sitting Bull, Gilbert and Sullivan, Nikola Tesla, Tchaikovsky, Teddy Roosevelt, Albert Einstein, Marie Curie, Akira Kurosawa, Martin Luther King Jr., Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin, Pope John Paul II, freaking Joss Whedon and Robert Downy Jr! So many names, so much history, so many deeds both great and small... And it's all gone.
Just collected mementos of a dead race in the dusty archives of Equestria.
So maybe it was this that led me here, into the desert, with Princess Celestia. Seeking out a beeping, unknown icon on a map projected on the inside of my busted up, ancient Human powered armor.
As it turns out, the area where the Ancient Human location was looked like... Every other part of the desolate, arid desert. A boulder strewn field with a few rock formations and a lot of scrub brush.
I saw what looked like an arrowhead, and immediately bent down to pick it up, hope pounding in my ears... And then disappointment. I sighed heavily, as Celestia looked at me curiously.
"What is it?" She asked.
"This? This is what archaeologists call an AFR," I stated.
"AFR?"
I tossed the rock over my shoulder. "Another. Fucking. Rock," I replied. I coughed, feeling blood rush into my cheeks. "Ah, sorry for my language-"
"No, no, there is no need to stand on ceremony in front of me," Celestia soothed, setting a comforting hoof on my shoulder. "If it's another fucking rock, it's another fucking rock."
Somehow, hearing the Princess say that made me snicker in mild disbelief. That did make me feel better, and by her smile it was clearly the intent. Still, the empty desert remained.
"Thanks," I said. I let out another, long sigh. "Ugh... For all we know, I'm picking up a left over transformer or switch board," I explained in dejection.
"I am sorry, Shepherd," Celestia said. "The Ancient Humans did have incredible cities. But the magics that were used in their destruction, well... They don't leave many traces."
"I guess that is what would be needed to remove all the traces of a city occupied for thousands of years," I admitted. "Still... It is damn irritating.”
I kicked another fucking rock, sending it skittering away...
And it bounced off the air. No, literally, it hit the air, and then bounced back, skipping along the ground past myself and the Princess. We stared in disbelief. Celestia smiled.
"What is a transformer, if you don't mind me asking?" She asked. "Is it a giant invisible wall?"
"Not usually, but it just might be here," I admitted, hope again pounding in my ears.
- - -
The invisible wall was one of four, joined into a trapezoidal shape about ten meters long on each side, and three meters tall. It was smooth-Smoother than anything I'd ever touched before, which explained how the sand and dust hadn't built up on it enough to give it away. Other than these details though, the object wasn't giving away any secrets. I looked over at the Princess, who was studying the invisible object very carefully.
"So, what can you tell me about it?" I asked. Celestia hummed again.
"I can feel my magical energy being absorbed into it, in a few spots," she said. "If I recall correctly, ancient human magic sensors did this."
"So, there's technology to actually sense magic?" I asked, my wonder making me sound like an excited ten year old boy. Celestia nodded.
"Oh yes! Humans could use magic, but they didn't rely on feel as much. There were few true wizards among them. Most used devices to analyze and control their magic," she explained. I rubbed my chin, the sensation very numb thanks to the armor.
"So... It can see us then," I said. "Why isn't it doing anything?"
"My guess is that this is a passive defense system," Celestia explained. "At the time this was last used, King Sombra was making war on humanity."
"So it hides as long as any ponies are around?" I concluded, and the princess nodded with a smile.
"Indeed. Which means the obvious solution..." Her horn glowed, and a blinding flash of light filled my vision. The suit's sensors compensated, turning down the brightness through some kind of filter. Which meant I was soon gawping with wide eyes at the smiling female form before me.
"Amazonian" was probably the best descriptor for the tall, graceful, curvy woman before me: With pale white skin perfectly complimented by her flowing aurora-like hair. The fact the garments she'd magicked up were white cloth in a Grecian style that left very little to the imagination was another big point. The only other cue she wasn't human was the long unicorn horn pointing out of her forehead, and the large wings now tucked behind her. She was, in every sense of the word, an angel.
"It's been a while since I used human form," she admitted. She looked a bit concerned. "Does it look okay?"
I had to take a moment to take a deep breath and remind myself I was involved with two wonderful, beautiful mares and this was the Princess of Equestria. Even if she looked like what Wonder Woman would actually be in real life and was dressed like a Marvel fanboy's wet dream.
"It looks... Just fine," I managed. Celestia smiled, and I felt like a teenaged boy with a beautiful teacher in homeroom and "Hot for Teacher" just started playing out of someone's phone.
"I'm glad," she said. She turned again to the invisible construct, and I followed my lead, keeping my eyes on the nothing and not on her. An icon beeped on my HUD, and I frowned.
"I'm getting a message," I said. "I think it says... 'Open Says Me?'"
The ground shook slightly, before a door began to slide open in mid-air. Below us, a set of stairs formed out of the sand, coalescing into neat, perfectly smooth steps. Only darkness beckoned beyond. I glanced over at the princess, meeting her eyes. She raised an elegant eyebrow.
"After you?" She said, gesturing. I nodded, and slowly walked down the stairs, the armor's muted footsteps becoming hard, metallic slaps as I entered. Celestia followed, her sandal clad feet barely making any sound at all.
The door slid shut behind us, and we both spun around in shock. Then, electric lights came on, casting the darkness back in favor of gunmetal gray walls, electric wiring... And a computer console. I turned back to it, and walked towards the console. Celestia briefly examined the door before she followed, though she was looking around more cautiously.
"The door does not appear to be locked," she said. I nodded as I stood in front of the console.
"Probably just an automatic closing system," I said. I frowned at the console. Celestia hovered over me, looking over my shoulder.
A QWERTY-style keyboard was illuminated on the flat glass, and above it was a screen of similarly projected lines. Endless lines of a constantly updating code, but none of the familiar sounds of fans or electronic hums as with a regular computer. I reached down and tapped the enter key.
"What is it? A computer interface?" Celestia asked. I nodded as the code changed, and presented... A primer of sorts. Several possible commands to enter, and what they would do. I raised my eyebrows, and inputted one.
Run operational diagnostic
Several lines of code and numbers appeared, before an answer followed:
Primary server operational, transition system operational, main program "ARK-WILLIAMS-1.23" operational
I entered another command, to get runtime data. I whistled at the massive number that resulted, as well as the technical specs.
"That's... A lot of operations," I said. "And this thing's a lot faster than any computer I've ever heard of on Earth."
"More than likely what would be required to handle magic," Celestia said with a nod. She frowned and pointed at the primer again. "What's this command?"
"Transition to new format?" I read aloud. I shook my head. "I'm not a computer expert, mind you, but that's a new one on me." I glanced at her. "Familiar with computer programming, Princess?"
Celestia allowed herself a graceful flush. It just made her even more beautiful and-No! Bad brain! Stop that!
"Well, computer programming and spell casting are actually not that dissimilar," Celestia said. "In both cases you need to instruct the spell-or program-what to do, and how to do it. And different spells have different operational requirements."
"That makes sense," I said with a nod. "And it's a lot briefer than how Twilight explained it."
Celestia chuckled, and patted me on the shoulder. "I was much like her, once upon a time," she explained. "It takes practice to speak to all sorts of beings. I do hope you don't hold that against her?"
I shook my head rapidly. "Of course not! I love her passion about stuff... I just wish she'd learn how to dumb it down faster. You know, for people like me," I said. I sighed and tried a few more commands. "I wish she was here right now, actually. She could tell me if this thing was more than just a server access point. With my luck, it's probably the last of Ancient Humanity's porn archives."
"Porn?" Celestia asked, curious. "What is porn?"
I choked and I pulled my hands back. "Wh-what?!" I croaked. She looked completely innocent and naive, and I felt the blood rush into my cheeks. I opened my mouth again.
"Uh... W-Well... Um... It's short for... For..."
Her lip twitched. My heart started beating again, and I glared as the princess beamed impishly at me.
"No, no, please do go on," Celestia said with a grin. I rolled my eyes and went back to the screen. She rested her chin on my shoulder. "Oh come now, you must admit-That was funny!"
"If it happened to someone else, yes," I muttered. She pouted adorably.
"Oh come now. The list of beings I can be this relaxed with is very short, indeed. I'm told being part of my inner circle is very prestigious!"
"By ponies who don't know what your inner circle actually is," I sighed. She nuzzled me, and I flushed again behind the armor.
"Exactly," she said. I glanced back at the screen. The commands I'd input hadn't given me anything more useful than when I had begun. I let out a long sigh.
"Maybe we should call it a day, and get some experts in here," I said. Celestia hummed.
"You are the only one who can operate the keyboard," she pointed out. "Why don't we try all the commands and look around some more first?"
"You don't get many vacation days, do you?" I asked. Celestia smiled, a sight both heartbreaking and uplifting all in the same way. I could see the years in her eyes, the lonely tiredness behind those beautiful pools.
"No. No, I do not," she said. I slowly nodded, and turned back to the screen.
"We can stay as long as you like then," I said. I inputted the Transition command. It asked for a destination. Since the only program running was the Ark program, I typed in that. "Though I don't know how interesting poking around a server room is going to-"
Everything turned white, and it was as though I could see an endless series of ones and zeros and lines of reality. Everything was stretched, out to eternity-!
And all of a sudden, the room we were standing in was black and smooth, with glowing white lines running across the corners and surfaces. I jumped back in shock, Celestia following me as we crashed onto the floor.
"OOF!" I muttered, out of reflex rather than pain. Celestia was on top of me, her hair frazzled but still flowing like it was in an ever present breeze. She blinked very slowly, her face confused.
"... I can't sense the sun anymore," she said, in a slow, forced calm voice. "I can't sense... Anything of Equus anymore..."
My eyes widened. "Oh crap," I muttered. I slowly got up, and she stood with me. No sense of fun or joviality was in her stance: She was all business now. I followed suit, and turned to the door. It slid open as we approached, and we stepped out... Into an entirely different world. I looked up at the skyline, my jaw dropping as my heart seemed to stop.
The sky was dark, save for a single, plain faced moon that beamed down through strange, blocky-looking clouds. And where once was desert was a gigantic glowing city, beaming with neon lights of every color imaginable against dark, black buildings reaching for the sky. The desert around us was smooth, with glowing grid lines extending out across dark blocky terrain as far as the eye could see.
A bright light shone down upon us, as the roar of engines filled the air. I looked up, the helmet filtering out the light... To reveal a gigantic, eight legged construct, like a great blocky spider, hovering above us. It was lit by glowing red neon lines, as were its crew: Humans in tight fitting outfits, body armor, and carrying guns. Around us, similarly dressed, pegasi flew around, their weapons pointed at us.
"ROGUE PROGRAMS. DO NOT RESIST OR YOU WILL BE DELETED," a loud booming voice echoed at us from the external speakers. I sucked in a deep breath.
"Well... Shit."