Chapter 33 - I'm home
Shackles and Friendship
Chapter 33 - I’m home
Edited by Hollyhock
Pre-read by Hollyhock
AN: Please read the author's note at the bottom.
“C’mon. C’mon!” shouted the grey stallion in frustration. “Give me something!!” A cone of light shined from his ghostly white horn scouring the ground like a searchlight wherever he looked. “Nothing! No physical evidence, no magical trace, it’s like this thing didn’t exist!” Inquest turned to look at his avian partner, “Did you really see a dragonchild?”
“Like I said before, I thought I saw one,” the gryphon answered without taking her eyes off the cavern tunnel. “I was too busy flying for my life to get a good look. You really think it’s ok for us to be here?”
After their confrontation with Falnor, Crea had taken the drained unicorn a good distance away to rest. She had taken him up to a higher elevation in the trees which was inaccessible to nearly all predatory animals in the Everfree, not that it mattered. Luckily the gryphon’s guess was spot on, the dragon’s residence had created a void of animal life around his territory. She saw nothing but the critters of the forest all night.
Despite how hard she argued, Inquest’s stubbornness was made of harder stuff. When he awoke and learned of the dragon’s sudden departure, he insisted on returning back to the cave in search of this “daughter”. But by the time they returned to the cavern it was all but deserted, even with Crea’s trained eye they could not spot any sign of the black dragon’s presence.
If it was even a dragon; she still wasn’t quite sure what she saw. But it was undeniable that something was there, they had both heard the voice.
“I still think we should’ve followed that dragon,” spoke Crea as she continued to keep an eye on the cavern entrance for danger. “They flew off like that....and that roar. You know as well as I do what that was.”
“He was on a warpath,” Inquest answered casually as he continue to scour the ground. “From what you told me, I’d reckon he’s headed for Ponyville; a small town on the outskirts of the forest.”
“You knew?” she asked as she finally turned her attention to the grey pony. “Then shouldn’t we-”
“No. This takes priority.”
“How does this take priority over saving a town from a dragon attack!?” she shouted. Her voice echoed throughout the cavern and was likely carried outside for anyone and anything to hear. But at the moment she didn’t care.
“We’re talking about lives here! Ponies we could save! We’ve dealt with dragons before, several of them at once!”
Inquest let out a sigh. “First of all; we ran from several dragons at once. We never fought them,” he replied in a casual tone.
“You know what I-”
“Second,” he cut in, “this is more important than helping them.” Crea just gave him a angered look and waited for him to continue.
“Think about it, it’s a fact that Falnor, that dragon, had no child when he moved to Equestria. And even if he somehow bore a child with another dragon behind Equestria law, that child would be in the care of the mother. Not the father.” The glow around Inquest’s horn died down as he turned and trotted towards the gryphon.
“So whatever it is you saw, whoever that voice belonged to, it could not have been his daughter. Based on your own description this....thing might not even be a dragon. But you saw how Falnor looked when it suddenly spoke. His demeanor completely changed and he fully believes he has a daughter.” Despite her anger, Crea was slowly starting to follow the unicorn’s line of thinking and reasoning.
“There are a lot of ways to manipulate the mind, I can think of five right from the top of my head. The who or what that manipulated Falnor isn’t important. The real problem is that a dragon is the one being controlled. This thing can pull the strings on a dragon; a fully grown, mature dragon like a puppet. I have never heard of anyone or anything that could comes even close to controlling a dragon’s mind. If this thing can, it could certainly control anything else with a weaker mind. Which pretty much sums up every living creature on the planet. Do you realize how incredibly dangerous that is?!” By this point Inquest now stood only a few inches in front of Crea, staring right into her eyes.
“So yes. Finding this thing does take precedent over saving lives.” With that he trotted past her and into the tunnel towards the exit. “Let’s go, there’s nothing here. Whatever it was, it didn’t leave anything behind.”
There was nothing Crea could say to that, she knew his reasoning was sound and there was no arguing against it. After all they’d been through over the decades, she knew more about him than anyone, pony or otherwise. Despite how much she loved that crazy old unicorn, she also hated how cold and logical he could be.
There had been many occasions, too many to count where they would fight till daybreak on what action to take. Whether to sacrifice a few for the greater good, or save them and risk a mission. Most of all, this calculative side of him frightened her, not because of how capable and powerful he was, she knew deep down he would never betray the Princess or his homeland.
What she feared most was....
“Would you sacrifice me for the greater good?” Crea asked under her breath.
“Hmm?”
Crea let out another sigh, “Nothing.” She turned and followed the pony back to the cold night air of the Everfree.
Darkness.
It was all that greeted me when I....awoke. That’s probably not the right word for it. Perhaps becoming aware is a more accurate term.
Whatever the case, I still found myself in the same perpetual darkness as before. Yet it felt different, familiar even. Despite the lack of light I could still see myself as clear as day, as if my body itself was glowing. Looking down, the darkness continued to stretch infinitely past my feet as I stood on a nonexistent floor.
“The hell is going on?” There was a slight lag between speaking and actually hearing my own voice. The entire experience felt surreal, like a dream.
“Hello!! Can anyone hear me!?” Nothing, not even an echo called back. That’s when I came to realize how quiet it was, not in terms of sound but of presence.
“You there?” I asked hoping to hear that familiar voice in my mind. I waited for a moment but no voice answered. Knowing that I was truly alone actually made me feel lonely and naked, perhaps because I’d spent every waking moment with him around.
With nothing else to do I started walking in a random direction, which gave me an odd sensation since I couldn’t feel the ground below. As I walked I kept straining my eye over the darkness, trying and hoping to spot anything or anyone.
After several minutes I eventually started thinking about the battle. Last I remembered, Falnor had been completely creamed by Luna, but Bronze and I also got caught in her spell. I wondered how she actually managed to do....whatever it was she did. As ridiculous as it sounded I still believed she had somehow altered gravity to her favor. How that was possible was beyond me, but then again I just fought a dragon alongside a drunk pegasus.
So whatever.
Inevitably I started thinking about what actually happened after and to wonder exactly how I came to be in this place. I remembered the pain and how it all suddenly just disappeared, it was vague but I also remembered that weird sensation. Something....happened. I couldn’t say for certain and I don’t know how I know, but I knew that something broke.
Was it my mind? Am I a vegetable now? Was this place the result of that? Was I to wonder there forever?
I quickened my pace as those questions continued to echo in my mind, as much as I wanted to know I was also afraid of the answer. It suddenly dawned on me to try and use my spells in here, at the least the fire might shed some light. Only to realize that I had no magic in me, that warm core in my gut where magic usually gathered was gone.
Logically it would mean weaving spells was impossible, but with an infinity of darkness ahead, I decided to give it a shot anyways. It was weird at first, I wasn’t sure how I would go about collecting magic without actually feeling it. I held my hand out in front of me and with my ‘Sense’ and ‘Sight’ - which made no difference considering the place was completely void of magic - I started imagining the familiar azure fireball in my hand.
[AN: Credit of the picture goes to Hollyhock]
To my surprise it worked, various shades of blue flame started gathering in the palm of my hand. But strangely they didn’t form into a sphere, in fact the fire coated my hand like a glove. Before I could react the fire started spreading up my arm as if I were drenched in gasoline. Startled I tried rubbing the fire off which only helped to spread it faster, once it got to my other hand it was too late.
I just waited and braced for whatever was to come as the flames quickly enveloped me within seconds. Yet I felt nothing, or to be more accurate I felt no discomfort. The fire was actually warm to the touch which I appreciated in this empty place. I continued to examine myself just to be sure nothing was happening when I noticed something move in the distance.
What I thought was movement was actually the darkness bending and shifting away from the light of the fire. For a moment it looked like the black was being eaten away and replaced by a white background. But it wasn’t entirely white, in front of me was a shadowy figure that looked like a cloaked and hooded person.
Slowly it started to focus and I saw what looked like a gas mask. It covered the face completely covering the eyes with a dark glossy surface. As I suspected he had a hood over his head and a dark cloak that hooked to his shoulders and fell on his back.
Then it hit me.
“Darth Vader?” It was definitely him; the gask mask, the cloak, it was surely him. The big Sith himself.
“Dafuq!?” He didn’t move, in fact there was something off about the whole thing. While the darkness had receded away, only the upper half of the body showed. I calmed myself and took a second look, it was then that I noticed a scribble on the bottom. I immediately recognized the writing, I’d been looking at it for almost my entire childhood.
May the force be with you, Ralph McQuirre
I immediately whirled around and examined my surrounding. While I was fixated on Vader the darkness had all but disappeared, revealing a colorless room that I knew all too well.
It was my room, specifically the room I grew up in at my parent’s house. Aside from being void of color everything was as I remembered it before I moved out. The creaky old chair with a broken leg that I fixed with duct tape, that old study desk that god knows how many times I’d spilled food on, my bed with a spring that poked my sides for half my life, and all the posters adorning the wall. Including one of my prized possessions; a Darth Vader poster signed by Ralph McQuirre himself.
It was too much. All too sudden. I fell to my knees completely stunned, unable to believe what I was seeing.
“I’m home.”
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Thumbs up this comment for faster updates with smaller chapter.
Thumbs down for larger chapters with less frequent updates.
I wonder how fast this get read.....
Original pic
WHAT ARE YO SAYIN??
[10:07:00 PM] A Pimp Named Alex: Dont tell people to thumbs down the story
[10:07:06 PM] Zaibatsu: no the comment
[10:07:15 PM] A Pimp Named Alex: specify that
[10:07:19 PM] A Pimp Named Alex: lol
[10:07:58 PM] A Pimp Named Alex: Thumbs up this comment for faster updates with smaller chapter.
[10:08:12 PM] A Pimp Named Alex: I even have to edit your coments....
2473808 How fast are we talking here? A few days? A few weeks?
2473808
What about larger chapters with more frequent updates?
2473881 Apparently my editor is more frightened of "thumbs down" than I am. lols
WHUT THE EVER LIVING FUCK IS GOING ON?>!
2473913
Yeah, I was thinking a compromise, medium chapters 8-9k with medium update rates.
Hey guys, I will be doing chapter illustrations from now on!
I would be jealous too. Hell, I AM jealous!
Honestly, shorter or longer chapters don't really bother me all that much. It's just that I really don't like it if they're too short like under 1,200 words or updates are TOO far between despite the length of the chapter updates. Some stories I really like are getting updated like only 4 times a year!
All I really care about mostly, is that the story keeps getting updated until the end/conclusion of the story. Whether it's a 1,500 words or a 25,000 words chapter update, I don't care too much. Although I think 2473931 has a good idea.
Overall, just as long as the story keeps coming along until I finally see that "El Fin" then I'm happy.
I personally prefer bite sized updates like this myself, however it can be a problem with sections that contain heavy story. It really breaks the flow to be interrupted half way through some plot or character development and a story will generally be weaker for it as a result. That being said i do believe theres a way to do it right, though hell if i know how.
"Hello, this is the holodeck on the Romulan Cruser "Rancid Lunch". We wish to welcome you to the monthly Star Trek Mind Buck. If you wish anything to make your stay more... pleasant, just scream.
Have a nice day."
MOAR!
And of course we won't down vote for sending him home, hell that means nothing technically... yet
Feels like it's time for some introspective flashbacks... that or a freaky episode like 'Home Away From Home'. Let's break out Ravel's bolero while we're at it...
2473953 Now that deserves a thumb up!
Well it looks like I'm in the 1% here but I feel like you don't get to invest yourself in the story with 2k updates. That takes 5-10min to read. I pick it up, put it down, and forget about it. Usually with stories that update like that I have to force myself to wait for 3-4 updates before I bother reading again or else I am just unsatisfied.
I did like the idea of a compromise. Why not 4-5k chapters like you started with? When you did that the updates were reasonable and there was at least some content to go through.
o-o
hes clearly mad!
2474074
Do not be alarmed, I heard through the grapevine that Rodney is gonna be in equestria for quite some time................................................... HINT HINT
2473808 I'd say 5 - 8k chapters. This chapter was a bit too short for my tastes.
Dun dun DUUUUNNN!! He's home?!
This guys is like my human character! Beside the whole crossbow thing!
2474350
when you reply, right on top of the text box there are options for the text/font and next to that for Links,Pic,Video,and finally quote.
Oh and BTW welcome to FimFic!
This length of chapter is what I prefer, 2,000 - 3,000 words, any more and it takes too long and I don't always have the time to read it in one go.
2474381
testing to see if I got this right
2474449 ok whats with the white bar?
global3.memecdn.com/darth-vader_o_322013.jpg
2473808
Two options? Only two options? Seriously?! SERIOUSLY?!
Well that was unexpected!
Story chapters that are 2500-5000 words long is fine by me!
I like this, the shorter chapters will give us a better flow, no more update-wait-update
Could Rodney develop a Light Saber with his current abilities?
As long as it doesn't break the flow. Chapter 32 would have been an agonizing read if it had been divided into 9 separate segments. Whether they're short scenes or long ones, I'd want to see complete scenes.
So if an event happens to only take up two thousand words, cool. But if you need twenty thousand to convey it properly, don't butcher it into small segments to get it out faster. We can wait.
2473808
I'll give the thumbs up but 2K words is a little too short i would say probably around 5K words would be a pretty good place to start.
2475079 This guy. This guy right here. Author should pay attention.
Un-favorited...
dis-liked...
Just to do it again...
So this is your first attempt, eh? Pretty good, pretty good...
Your story really is good :3
2475277
I second that motion.
2475067
2474627
Like I said, it could be a compromise.
Let it be said here that I vote for 8-9k chapters. Is it tedious to edit? Sure, but I personally enjoyed the last chapter not only for the awesome action and whatnot, but also because I got to 'get into the story' more. It let that mood set in, you dig?
Since I read books by the chapter and not by the page I would recommend larger updates or whatever constitutes for a decently sized chapter to you. It would be in your interest to do so since it would convey the story itself a lot better and might attract more readers.
2474456 You need to put the text you're quoting between the [quote*] and the [/quote*], without asterisks of course.
2473808
If it means fewer errors in tense (last chapter was riddled with them), then shorten the buggers.
2476381
Hmmm, are you sure you read the edited version? The unedited was up for a while before I noticed it..
Huh, the first couple of chapters honestly sucked in terms of grammar, but the story itself actually became noticeably better over time! Pacing could use a bit of work, but meh, your story.
Oh yay, creepy mind-control antagonist with a cutesy EVIL attitude...this is not going to end well. I hope to high hell that such a thorough Domination effect has sever limitations, otherwise Equestria is totally doomed. Like superpowered-zombie apocalypse levels of doom.
Also Luna would so owe him a years supply of Prime A Grade Steak right now.
>>Zaibatsu
This picture expresses my feelings to a T.
fc00.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2013/021/e/f/not_sure_if__large_by_al3xguerra-d5saxog.png
'Nuff said.
Dang cliffhanger!!!!!!!!!
epic fightscene and i loved how it all worked out, but that cliffhanger was evil man! please give us moar~!
We should really move out of this mountain range..
Less chance of me randomly falling of a cliff.
Boop.
damn this story was good!! :D highly entertaining that fight with the dragon was epic xP and bronze was pretty badass as well xD hmm.. you know i hope rodney might have interest in shine bright....
2484992 Yeah, Rodney forced her to do it since she can't use magic to open it.
Also now you'll notice how much I've grown as a writer.