Twenty-Seven
Hands
A My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
By Andrew J. Talon
DISCLAIMER: This is a non-profit fanbased work of prose. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is the property of Hasbro, and the reinvention of the lovely Lauren Faust. No copyright infringement is intended, please support the official release.
- - - - - -
Coming out of a dream as good as that one is really aggravating. I wasn't going to come out of it happy... Well, unless Fluttershy was willing to resume it out here. However, the fact I was suspended from the ceiling probably indicated that wasn't going to happen. I mean... Yet... Shut up.
"Huh?" I asked intelligently, and I immediately struggled. I was stuck in something which felt like a too small sleeping bag... Filled with goo. I looked down, and groaned. I was encased in a cocoon while Fluttershy and Twilight slept on the bed nearby. I then looked up to see Chrysalis, sitting on the floor and reading a book. She looked up and shrugged with her wings.
"Well, let's be honest. You wouldn't have let me do this while you were awake," she said plainly. She smirked. "Not unless I was Twilight or Fluttershy, of course."
"Cocoon? Really? Really?" I hissed. "That's your evil scheme? Leave me in a cocoon?"
"Evil scheme?" Chrysalis asked, confused. Her eyes then narrowed, and I felt like a jerk. "Oh. You mean heal you?" Her voice had gone cold. "Yes, truly I am diabolical if I'm expending precious energy to help you heal faster."
I blinked, and thinned my lips as I felt a bit of guilt.
"No, no, come on Chrysalis, I didn't mean it like that," I said quickly. "That-That was just an instinctive emotional response, really. You can sense it!"
"Yes," the alien queen said in a soft tone, looking at the nearby wall. "I can..."
"And come on. I'm just the... The human," I said with as much of a shrug as I could manage. "Ya know..."
Chrysalis stared at me for a long time. In silence. Clearly she was trying to make this as awkward as possible. I stared back, scowling in challenge.
"You said you'd forgive me," she said at last. "You and your precious God path you follow. Your own sense of right and wrong, all important to you, all signs and remnants of your humanity. A humanity I nearly destroyed, so don't think I don't understand the difficulty." She looked up at me with cold, hurt eyes. "After all... Here you are, a member of the race that wiped out mine. Entirely at my mercy, and I could end it all."
I stared back in silence, grim and thinking. I then sighed.
"Yeah... But you wouldn't," I said. Chrysalis stared back, her eyes darting to the side just for a split second.
"You know that?" She asked in a soft hiss.
"Well, it would be hard to explain, wouldn't it?" I asked. Chrysalis scowled at me, and in a burst of magic I was looking into my own face. I reared back a little as Chrysalis-Me walked up, glaring death at me.
"I could just disguise myself as you. I know your thoughts, your feelings, your mannerisms," she hissed. "I could find out everything else. I do know so much... Just so much..." She looked down. I waited. She sighed, and shook her head. Her shoulders sagged, like mine did when I was practicing an argument in the mirror.
"How ironic," she muttered. "I was the one closest to you apes, who knew you were dangerous. I kept insisting we strike quickly, end it in one blow. The rest of the hive queens preferred to cull our own numbers by making you expend all your weapons-We had trillions, so many to feed, what did they care? It had been so long, and we needed to feed. What could you puny monkeys do to us? We commanded the stars, you had barely begun to scrape at them." She looked up at me again, eyes now filled with... Sorrow? Black humor? Despite the fact she was wearing my face, it was like looking at a stranger.
"For me... It is just as much of a burden, as it is for you," she said softly. "To be the last one. To not know for sure if any one else survived."
I slowly nodded, working my jaw. "Yeah..."
"So," she said, wringing her hands. The action wasn't mine-I wondered if she'd done it as a human back on Earth. If she'd done it to blend in, and then it became real.
"So," I responded. She sighed. I waited. She looked up and shrugged.
"... Arrogance is what got me into this mess in the first place," she said quietly. "What got us all here."
"It doesn't have to be what keeps us going," I replied. She smiled.
"Such an idealist when it suits you," she sighed. "Your race blew mine up."
"Yeah, but we have a lot more than that going for us," I said. "So does yours. You don't just have to be the bad parts of your nature."
She looked at the sleeping Twilight and Fluttershy. She sighed, and rubbed her face. My face. Whatever.
"Would you still think the same thing? Without them here? If we were alone?" She asked. I bowed my head in shame, and I felt her smile. "I see..."
"It's the human condition," I said quickly. "Sometimes we're at our best alone... But we need people to remind us of it. We need contact, good things... Otherwise we just see the bad things. Or if we're in a group of bad, angry people..." I chuckled. "But you knew that."
"I did," she said softly. "I just like hearing you say it... And so you do. Such a bunch of blabbermouths, your race. A saying for every occasion."
"Oh?" I asked, raising my eyebrows. "Such as?"
Chrysalis smiled at me.
"I am loath to close. We are not enemies, but friends. We must not be enemies. Though passion may have strained it must not break our bonds of affection. The mystic chords of memory, stretching from every battlefield and patriot grave to every living heart and hearthstone all over this broad land, will yet swell the chorus of the Union, when again touched, as surely they will be, by the better angels of our nature," Chrysalis recited, as though in school. I stared at her, and she raised her brows. "Your 16th president's first inaugural address. Lincoln?"
"Yeah," I said with a nod. "I didn't know that's where that came from."
"I read your books," she said. "So many of them..." She eyed Twilight. "She'd probably go mad over it."
"Yeah, she would," I smiled lovingly at my unicorn. "She would..."
"The cocoon will dissolve in about an hour," she said. "You'll be completely healed." She turned to the door, and I frowned.
"Hey! Hang on a second, where are you going with my face and body?" I demanded. She looked over her shoulder and smiled.
"Well, I do need some love energy. And you do tend to promote it, don't you?" She said, her eyes glowing. "Besides, I've seen their fantasies about two of you," she said with a cock of her head back to my mares. She actually shuddered. "Not tonight, Josephine." She opened the door and headed out, shutting it tight behind her. I sighed.
"I just know this is gonna cost me..."
- - - - - -
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Great characterization, love how you're portraying everyone and the story progressing believably! This is probably my favorite MLP story to date. =D
A sI said at SB, one step forward, half a step back for Chrissie. At best...
Well now, she is capable of improvement.
But, yeah, baby steps, hehe. Then again, who would even want a Chryssy without a vicious streak?
Joy!
one word Awesome!!!
3791146 if she had a pony personality,fewer would like her,because from what little we've seen,she's so much more different and complex
Chryssi is actually making me sympathize with her.
I like it
3791300
Heehee. Too true. I got a fic which features a changeling queen (not Chrysalis), and it was really interesting to get into her mind. She just had this... completely alien way of thinking, which was absolutely logical from her point of view, but often completely blindsided the other characters (not to mention, the readers). Loads of fun to write
It's gonna cost you...about 5 grand. That's just the collateral damage.
a good ending, and thankfully not the final ending
also if we are now in th realm of awesome quotes then have a favorite of mine
"Out of Zion shall come forth a law
And the word of the Lord from Jerusalem
Nation shall not raise sword against nation
And they shall not learn war anymore
For the mouth of the Lord hath spoken"
She keeps saying that, but she is not the only changeling in Equestria, she has more of her own species with her, Andrew on the other hand is the only living human in this world.
Well... damn. That doesn't sound like a very nice way to wake up.
Now... where is she going with his body? Either way, it's going to come back and bite them both in the ass.
Make out already!
3791499 She refinancing the fact that her breeding class the queens the only ones with freewill are gone...
3791630
the little babies born from andrew seem pretty damn sentient and outspoken and opinionated.
so thats your headcanon out.
3791630
3791823
Agree, also we have seen Chrysalis talking with other changelings that are not queens, and asking for their advise about how should they proceed with the invasion of Earth.
Good
I still say this story could use a human female. A character that would represent proof that Andrew is not the only human in Equestria (a good thing) but also a threat to everything he has built with the ponies (not such a good thing).
Also, on a side note: What do you suppose would happen to a human in Equestria if they passed through the portal into the human world from Equestria Girls? Maybe become a pony?
did...did she really pull the 'your race killed mine?' card? after her race tried to do the same? I really wanted to break her leg right there. maybe more. yeah, two and a half broken legs should do it.
aww
How could this possibly go wrong?
I'll be honest and say I still don't get the whole situation with Chrysalis, I remember reading it and thinking 'What the hell?' So the changelings were some spacefaring race that ended up at war with humanity, which we won because we were also a spacefaring race even though we aren't but this is the future or something like that and we detonated nuclear reactors or something, so Chrysalis is one of the fewer members of her kind left and lives a terrible existence in Equestria compared to her former might? I'm not making a joke or being sarcastic, is that what actually happened?
Before I drop a bomb, I think it's worth mentioning I really love this story, I honestly do, it's got decent, semi clean, humor, which I enjoy once and a while, it's got a sweet romance, it didn't chalk up Chrysalis as DE EVIL BAD PONY WHO WAS EVIL BECAUSE EVIL, it's got a decent story ark, and Andrew, while he does annoy and bug me, seems like a pretty cool guy, personal conflicting ideologies and morals aside. That being said, the harem/polygamy shtick just... Best put, it both annoys and ticks me off. Maybe its a personal thing, a moral thing, a philosophical, can you guess? That's right! Thing! What ever it is, it annoys and ticks me off. My best guess as to why, is that it's kind of like trying to have your cake, and eat it, while not appreciating the cake for what it truly is. I can understand loving someone, I can understand loving multiple individuals, but just because the harem ending is the one where everyone is happy, doesn't mean that it should be the ending. You may say you love both partners, but it's like the love is watered down, you cannot truly give yourself to one or the other, so you compromise in your beliefs, and you divide your attention to both, all because of your indecisiveness. Call me traditional, call me an idiot, call me a loveless, hopeless, disgusting, example of a human being, because I am at least half of those, but that doesn't change my view of the story. Yeah, it makes for good laughs, yeah it makes for a good story, but it still sticks out to me as an issue. These are people you are going to spend you life with, and depending on what you believe, eternity with. I don't know, all I wish for is that Andrew would make a decision, and finish it before they all get too deep into the rabbit hole, and someone gets scars and injuries that are not only permanent, but irreversible.
Oh yeah, I fucking love the Humanity Fuck Yeah bits.
Humans and how awesome they are, gets mentioned
Chest swells up with patriotism, and eagle tears.
3792381 Don't you dare mention EQG in this story ever again >:c
Ohhh, Chrissy, you lovable bitch
3802985 You mean "EQG" right? And why shouldn't I mention it? It exists. It is a thing in the Canon (as much as the anti-Equestria Girls crowd might not want it to be). Sure this is a heavy AU by now but that is no reason not to use of any and all of the assets available. More importantly, It would be an excellent way to repair some of the issues a lot of people had with Equestria Girls (Flash Sentry crush subplot eliminated by the presence of Andrew, for example). Not everyone believes EQG was bad, anyway. I actually liked it. It was flawed, but fun.
3804843 Flash coming to Equestria wouldn't work because Twilight isn't a princess in this story and by Twilight not being a princess means Sunset Shimmer would have never stolen her crown, Which means Twilight could have never gone to the human world and meet Flash Sentry. Ps, If Twilight is a Princess in this story I need to re read a few chapters
3805072 Twilight becoming a Princess has not happened *yet*. If you take into account all the mini stories connected to this one indicating later circumstances, it will happen. And it makes sense, Chronologically, this story is just between the end of Season 2 and the beginning of season three. Chrystal Empire comes next, followed by Season 3, unless you are suggesting that coming to understand love might hurt Twilight's ability to understand friendship and thus prevent her from becoming a Princess. Which strikes me as wrong.
And hang Flash Sentry. That entire sub-plot was pointless. Twilight has Andrew in this story anyway (Even if the portal turns him into a fish or something). I was just making an idol comment about the portal.
3806827 But even if Twilight went to the human world I'm pretty sure she wouldn't cheat on Andrew.
3806834 Exactly. Stupid, Pointless romantic subplot averted. Flash Sentry is a stupid character anyway. :) Though he might serve to make Andrew Jealous... Which could be fun.
I love this story so far!
Keep it up please, that sudden cliffhanger was just a huge disappointment to me.
Oh, and all dem references, they were pretty good. Got every. Single. One.
Eh; It reads like most humans in ponyverse stories to ME; As in I read so many of these trying to come up with my own ideas for humans among the ponies stories I got jaded... But I'll give you credit for doing a better job than most...
...I feel like I have to get in on this EQG argument.
Alright, so, Flash Sentry: got Twilight's attention because he's attractive (also, side note: this little romantic subplot sets precedent that ponies can, in fact, be attracted to humans. HIE writers, rejoice!), nice to her, and she has (as far as we know) no personal experience with love.
Hands!Twilight is happily in an irregular relationship (that, on another side note, shouldn't be all that strange to her: ponies are herd creatures, and, unlike us, are a prey species, thus making them closer to the "herd=safety" instinct than us, which in turn means they are more likely to have mainstream polyamorous relationships) and has been for some time. What's more, Andrew is an adult, with the maturity thereof, which probably appeals to Twilight's character. EQG!Flash Sentry, on the other hand, is a teenager, though a compassionate one.
Taking all of this into account, logically speaking EQG!Flash Sentry shouldn't even be a blip on Twilight's radar, as the immature teenager she knows for all of several minutes-- if that!-- should hold no contest with the man she loves enough to sacrifice her own form for, abeit temporarily. And since she is not attracted to EQG!Flash Sentry, she has no reason to move that now non-existent attraction to Pony!Flash Sentry, thus rendering the possibility of her cheating on Andrew with him or even inadvertantly using him to make Andrew jealous almost nonexistent ("almost" because allowances for uncontrollable events must be made, like if Twilight were to accidentally get so drunk she ends up in bed with Flash Sentry, or Andrew's personality takes a turn for the unlikely and becomes inexplicably jealous of all the stallions that give Twilight so much as a passing glance).
Also, Andrew in EQG world: while canon has no indication of how the mirror works (plot device is a plot device), some things can be inferred-- first, that it transform the traveller into the the species that is in the same local ecological niche relative to their ecological niche in their home dimension (Twilight transform from pony, the dominant species in Equestria, to human, the dominant species in... wherever EQG takes place); second, that there might be a relational component to whatever magic performs the transformation (Spike transform into a dog, which are both pet and assistant to humans[?], because as a dragonling he is somewhere between little brother, assistant, and pet to Twilight); and third, that the mirror might very well deage the traveller, either because it was designed to do so, or because it is housed on the grounds of a highschool campus and it is designed to camoflage the traveller (Twilight is given official capacity as the overseer of the Summer Sun Celebration during the first episode, and those within her age group all have jobs, implying they are adults, yet she turns into a teenybopper upon exiting the EQG side of the mirror).
Assuming all three assumptions are correct, then Andrew, who is an omnivorous alpha predator in Equestria (even the DRAGONS are scared of his kind) and Twilight's significant other, will, upon stepping through the mirror, be transformed into AT LEAST a human teenager, with the possibility of becoming a super-human, as he would need to stand above regular humans in some way to keep his place as an alpha predator. The only way Andrew would transform into anything but the above would be for comedic purposes, which, judging by Mr. Talon's writing style, is well within the realm of possibility.
...Whew. Just wanted to get that off my chest. Anyways, to Mr. Talon: excellent job on this story so far! You are truely a master of your craft!
Update
This isn't the end of the story is it?
4336000 Believe me, I don't want it to be. But my job in RL has basically taken over my entire life, and I can't focus enough to write as of late.
4336671 Oh... Well good luck in your endeavors. :)
4269040 It's not bestiality, it's xenophilia. mlp ponies are not beast.
Beast
an animal, especially a large or dangerous four-footed one.
"a wild beast"
a domestic animal, especially a bovine farm animal.
synonyms: animal, creature;
archaichumorous
an animal as opposed to a human.
"the gift of reason differentiates humanity from the beasts"
sentient
able to perceive or feel things.
"she had been instructed from birth in the equality of all sentient life forms"
Xenophily or xenophilia means an affection for unknown/foreign objects or peoples.
It is not contrived to consider the people of equestria.
You just made my evening
Looks like the spinoff of this story is no more :(
4380976
Awww, which one?
4447250 It was the one where Trixie teleports another human into Equestria, one of the chapters here has the spin off part. But I forget which one it is.
At this point, the story has lost it's any semblance of realism...
It is now an forever "cliché".
I must say, Chrysalis is my favorite mlp villain. That makes this story so much better for me because how you portrayed her. I gotta say, this is one of the best fanfics I've ever read.
Cheers.
This fix was freaking awesome, but I think you lost a lot of people when you opted for the threesome relationship, rather than just making it Andrew and Twi. I know it's a comedy, but it just would've made it a better story.
4421115 Don't think so, which guy? You've got the archeologist Daniel Jackson, colonel Jack O'Neill, the scientist Samantha Carter and the alien Te'Alc. It's possible there was an Andrew Shepard at some point but he wasn't a part of SG1 or a major character.
Great story. I loved it.
*Pokes Hands* "Hey Hands, you alright?"
4453605 That's a bad thing, how?
For some reason, I was fully convinced this was a grimdark story before I actually read it.
I must have mixed up its cover art and premise with My Little Human or something. Certainly... unexpected!
Now, on to cleanup stuff. (Note: I forget whether these are labeled by actual chapter number or chapter title. Probably a mix of both.)
In chapter 1, and likely afterwards as well, capitalization after dashes: Don't do that. There were too many to list them all.
Ch. 3
Pinkamena
another mistaken capitalization after a dash.
Ch. 4
its
Sugarcube
Ch. 5
forums.oce.leagueoflegends.com/board/attachment.php?attachmentid=3428&d=1377959741
;_; y u do dis.
Ch. 8
Don't capitalize banana republic. It wouldn't take that much weaponry to hold up the fashion retailer.
bandolier
Capitalize Hell, and foot of.
Ch. 9
iambrony.dget.cc/mlp/gif/18733__safe_animated_filly_octavia_crying_emotional-warfare_.gif
That's it. This time, you made Octavia cry.
Ch. 11
Don't capitalize after this ellipsis.
Ch. 12
Add comma, capitalize Dad (it's used as a name), don't capitalize "said" after the exclamation point, and add apostrophe before twas. ('Twas)
Thine can only be used in the singular case. If she is referring to both parties, she would use 'your.'
Ch. 18
Add comma after 'stated.'
thick. Or maybe thin?
Ch. 20
Moonlight that I, and add a comma.
Capitalize his name.
Ch. 21
pleasantries.
Ch. 24
own if we
converter, and: "engine, and there you go."
Ch. 26
Nurse Ratched. Also, use question mark.
If she's reading phonetically, she would get "Bib le" instead, since she wouldn't realize the 'e' is silent. Also, don't capitalize she. (Don't capitalize after quotes if it's all the same sentence, even if the quote begins the sentence.)
Ch. 27
anyone as one word