THIS IS THE DAILY SHOW WITH JON STEWART
Series: Equestrian interviews
Interviewer: Jon Stewart
Guest: Rainbow Dash
Date: ???
Location: Daily Show headquarters
733 11th Avenue Manhattan, NY 10019
THIS IS THE DAILY SHOW WITH JON STEWART
It was now the day of Jon's interview with Rainbow Dash and even with all that happened leading up to it his luck was starting to turn around. His day kicked off to a flying start when he arrived at work and found his staff and crew hard at work getting the stage ready for the final segment.
Turns out that while he slept in that morning his wife had called in on his behalf and relayed to his assistant that they were to have an Equestrian citizen. She knew this because right before he went to bed Jon had written; "Tell Selina. Set up stage" on the notebook he always kept by his nightstand.
The set was now half done so all that was needed was the theme for them to go on which Jon responded with a simple one word answer.
"Rainbows."
Never before has the set of The Daily Show looked so, for lack of a better term, "girly." The background showed a double rainbow that began at the backstage entrance and ended at Jon's desk which was now a cloud. There were also some rainbow cutouts which were placed in between himself and audience like a fence around a house. The whole presentation was so tacky looking the set resembled a kid's show rather than a Comedy Central program. But as bad as it looks it was at least something to go on.
Another bit of good luck was that since this would be a live tapping the actual airing wouldn't occur till late that night, which meant they had a few hours to advertise their newest guest. This also meant that Jon's staff had time to come up with a theme song for Rainbow Dash to walk on stage with. It took a lot of last minute scrambling but they managed to pull it off, thought some of his employees were confused since the song didn't fit the tone stage design.
With barley an hour to spare the set was ready to go and after two segments came and went it was now time for the main attraction.
As the Daily Show returned from yet another commercial break its logo appeared on sight then left to the sound of the audience cheering excitedly. The camera made a slightly different route to show the days theme. This time around it made a long sweep from left to right so those at home could see the rainbows the littered the set. But soon, like always, it zoomed it on a very well rested Jon Stewart who was was pretending to sign papers by way of scribbling on page after page of his notes.
Soon his attention was on the camera and after a quick crack of his neck he began to speak.
"Welcome back to the Daily Show, everyone! My guest tonight!" He yelled over the audience. "She is the self proclaimed fastest flyer in Equestria, a member of the elements of Harmony and to this day the only pony ever to have pulled out a 'Sonic Rainboom.'"
As emphasis Jon pointed forward at the camera, signaling the staff to play the video clip that was provided last minute by Celestia.
"I'm not even sure how they got those camera angles." He said, getting a quick laugh out of the audience. "Please welcome to the show, Rainbow Dash!"
Before the camera even got the chance pan over to the side Rainbow Dash had already flown to the center of the stage to wave at the audience members so quickly they missed the shot of her coming out. The only thing louder than their cheers and applause was the theme song that the backstage hands had put together to accompany her.
The crowd showed little sign of calming down anytime soon so Jon made a route to greet his guest. On his way there Rainbow Dash decided to fly above the audience where she posed for a picture of gave the occasional high-five. It only intensified their cheering since this would be their first time actually making physical contact with someone from Equestria.
Each audience member stood and cheered in the hopes that they would be the next person to get to interact with her. Noticing that all of them now had their hands in the air Rainbow Dash began to fly back and forth between rows with an outstretched hoof to give them what they wanted.
Jon tried to coax her out of the mob but it was no use. Finally she made one last service to the audience by throwing her hooves around two random attendees while a third one took a picture.
She then flew back on stage where she shook Jon's hand so vigorously that he swore his warm would have popped out of his socket had she gone on any longer. To say she was rough would be a huge understatement. The two eventually made their way to the desk where Jon sat in his chair and Rainbow Dash hovered above hers. He motioned for her to sit but she wouldn't budge from her spot.
The crowd's cheering began to settle down but only because off-camera stagehands who were signaling for them to do so, otherwise the show couldn't start. Jon tried one last time to get Rainbow Dash to sit down but when it was clear that she would not.
Jon gave up and began to speak.
"Do the...do people always cheer for you like that when you enter a room?" Jon asked getting only a chuckle from Rainbow Dash in return. The crowd joined with the occasional audience member doing a last second holler.
"Thank you very much for being here Ms. Dash." He continued. "It's great to have you on the show."
"Yeah well it's about time you gave me a call," She responded. "I've been waiting forever to hear from ya!"
"Now uh...you've, you've probably sent me about-- at least 20 letters at this point," Jon said while looking up at her. "All of which were requests to appear on my show...why...do you want to be on this show so badly?"
"Pfft are you kidding?! The Daily Show is totally cool!" She said looking astonished that Jon would even ask. "It's like the coolest show on TV right now...but you know what would make the even better? If it had the coolest pony in all of Equestria?" As emphasis she struck a pose as to flex her muscles.
"Hm, can't argue with that logic" Jon responded. "Do you know who that pony is?" The crowd laughed at the two on stage with Rainbow Dash looking visibly frustrated at how easily she walked into Jon's trap. She, like almost everyone else, had no way of knowing that Jon's living with Trixie for the past couple of weeks had trained him in the art of dealing with ponies with massive egos.
She glared a Jon with an expression that seemed to say; "Not. Cool."
"But alright you're finally here!" Jon continued. "So I guess...the big question on everyone's mind is...h-has being here uh, right now lived up to your expectation."
Despite having been embarrassed at his hands the still sulking pony shifted gears and was about to express her absolute delight for being present for the show. She caught herself mid way just in time to switch her facial expression from joy to indifference.
"Eh...it's alright." She said, pretended to not care as she checked her hooves. "I mean it's not what I expected buuut hey, what can ya do?"
"Well if you don't like your time on the show we can end it early," Jon said, checking his watch.
"NO WAIT DON'T" Rainbow Dash yelled, not thinking he would call her bluff. She cleared her throat before continuing "I uh I mean...you don't gotta do that. I'm already here so might as well go along with it...b-besides if we stopped now it'd be a huge disappointment for my fans."
"You have fans?" Jon asked, now wishing that he'd phrased that better.
"Of course I do!" She shot back. "Matter of fact there are even some fan clubs who follow me around, thank you very much...and don't even try and tell me you haven't gotten letters from ponies asking for me to be on your show."
Before Jon could answer he had to think about her claim for a second; when he gave it a quick thought he realized that she was actually right.
"Actually now that you mention it I have gotten letters to that effect." He said. "On average I'd say about...10 a day."
"AH HA! See I told ya so!" She responded excitedly. "They're probably from ponies all over Equestria who've seen me in action."
"Well actually they've all been from one pony," Jon added, bursting her bubble. "She's been sending me them since day one...does the name 'Scootaloo' ring any bells."
Even though the crowd didn't know who this crazed fan was they still laughed at how comical it was.
"Ugh...yeah I know her," Rainbow Dash grunted as she folded her hooves. "She's always following me around trying to hang out with me. Lucky for me I can just fly away and she'll never catch me but still...she's persistent."
"But hey look on the bright side," Jon said with a shrug. "You...you have a stalker...that's a pretty uh, good sign that you're famous."
"Really?" She asked. "Do...do you have a stalker?"
"Well not exactly but I do know the feeling of having some annoying...person always bothering you and-- OK SERIOUSLY are you sure you don't want to sit down?" Jon asked interrupting himself; he was already feeling the pain in the back of his neck from looking up at her. "We got you a really nice chair, ya know!"
"Nah its ok," she answered. "I brought me own." Jon was just about to ask what she meant when in a split second she disappeared from the set and into the darkness that was backstage, leaving behind a rainbow trail. Jon got up to get a better view. When she returned pushing something in front of her.
It was a cloud.
"Here we are!" She said as she jumped on giving the impression that it had the tendencies of a sofa. "I took one from outside right before camera time...hope you don't mind if I borrow it for now."
The crowd began to cheer once more; none of them expected that they would witness a Pegasus using an actual cloud like it was furniture.
"You actually stole a cloud." Jon said
"I'll put it back later!" She insisted as she shifted her position so she'd lie on her back. "Gotta say though you're guys' clouds feel way different from the ones in Equestria...but it's all good."
Jon didn't say anything back which left the studio is a state of rare silence. To break this he leaned forward and stuck his hand through the cloud very hesitantly, waving it back and forth like he was trying to grab a hold of it. This act ended the silence.
"This doesn't seem very structurally sound." Jon commented.
"Maybe not for you, but us Pegasi are totally one with the clouds," she said in a proud tone. "See?...Check this out." Getting up now she flew slightly above the cloud and with her hind legs gently kicked it sending out a small thunderbolt. It flashed very brightly for its size causing Jon to withdraw his still outstretched hand. Half the crowd found it amusing while the other half was still struggling to understand what they had witnessed.
"You know what let's get back to the interview," Jon said hurriedly as he rubbed his hand. His face looked like it was stuck in a permanent expression of surprise. "So uh...what we're we talking about again?"
"He he! Uh I think...we were talking about how...I have tons of fans all over Equestria." Rainbow Dash said as she struggled to hold back her giggles.
"Of course we were." Jon retorted; he was still keeping a close eye on that cloud of hers.
"So are you sure nopony else has written to you about me?" She said leaning in with a pleading smile.
"Well...there have been some people who have expressed some interest in you," he said which instantly got her attention. "Though it hasn't been from a pony...but rather some humans here in New York."
"OH WOW REALLY!" She said now in high hopes. "Who are these humans!? Wha-wha-what did they said about me!?"
"Actually they weren't specific people per se bur rather representatives from major organizations," Jon continued. "You see...uh, whenever we have someone from Equestria on our...on our show we got a ton of people who just...who-- they want to hire that guest or get in touch with them to put together some kind of business arrangement. When we announced that you were coming on our show this morning we got...a slew of people wanting a piece of you."
"Oh awesome!" She said and she applauded herself. "What kind of business humans were they?"
"Well for starters one of the first groups that wanted to get in touch with you was uh...a privately owned company called 'Mars Incorporated.'" Jon answered.
"Ooooooooo they sound coooool!" Rainbow Dash cooed. "Are they like a super secret group of humans who like...have control over the planet Mars or something?"
"Uh no they don't," He answered with a straight face. "They make candy." Some of the audience members knew where this was going and preemptively laughed as a result.
"A candy company?" She wondered out loud.
"Yeah, believe it or not the spokesperson I talked to...wanted to see if you'd be interested in working for them full time." He continued. "The job would be being the new mascot for...one of their candy products called Skittles."
"What, why?" She said in confusion. "What would they want me to do that?"
"Uh...I'm guessing it's because you're name is Rainbow Dash." Jon said getting a look of further confusion on her part. "The advertisement slogan for Skittles is 'Taste the Rainbow.'"
Hearing the company's tagline caused Rainbow Dash to recoil back in surprise. The phrase in itself caused her to blush somewhat.
"W-what the hell!" She blurted out over the roar of the audience. "That's it!? That's why they wanted me...pffft so lame! Like I'd even want to work for a candy company...who do I look like, Pinkie Pie?"
"I don't know it sounds pretty neat," Jon commented. "I'm sure you'd get all kinds of free stuff?"
"Pass." Rainbow Dash said bluntly. "Who else tried to get in touch with me?"
"Let's see...well there was this local group that wanted to set up an appointment with you." He continued. "Same as before they wanted to see if you'd be interested in being a mascot for them." Rainbow Dash looked over at Jon suspiciously.
"Reeeeaaaally?" She said, her eyes squinting at Jon. "And what kind of company we're they?"
"Well actually they're weren't really a company...more like a uh...a local..activists group," he answered. "They were a local chapter of the 'LGBT' community."
For those in attendance who knew what the acronym stood for, the connection was made instantaneously. These were the ones who could see the punch line coming a mile away.
"What do they do?" She asked sounding slightly more hopeful. "Do they make candy too!?"
"No, nothing like that," Jon answered. "They're actually a group of young people who go from place to place advocating for...gay rights."
"Gay rights?" She asked, again looking confused. "They like...fight for the right to be gay?"
"That's one way of putting it, yes." Jon said feeling slightly odd that he was speaking on their behalf, somewhat. "You see...I don't know if it's the same over in Equestria, but over here there are some people who are...persecuted or outcasted because they are gay. Organizations like the 'LGBT' run on a philosophy of equality, and dedicate themselves to help others through counseling and such."
"Oh well I guess that's cool," Rainbow Dash responded with an odd look on her face. "But I don't get it...why would anypony be against being gay?"
"Well in our world some people see it as being...immoral or...unnatural, even." He said. Jon leaned back to get a better view of Rainbow Dash. He felt a bit proud of his guest for her virtuous way of thinking; it would seem that over in Equestria sexual preferences was not an issue.
"What? That's dumb." She added "You guys are weird...why would anypony think being happy was unnatural."
The crowd began to laugh as Jon laughed into the palm of his hand. He had previously seen Rainbow Dash's remarks as her unadulterated views on gender politics but it would seem that it was just ignorance on her part. Jon wouldn't now this till much later but Equestria had another word for being homosexual. The term "gay" was human slang but to them its root definition was still the same.
"Oh boy...Uuuh Rainbow Dash, we seem to have a bit of a...cultural barrier going on here." He said as he rubbed his hand over his face. "You see...while you're not wrong in thinking that 'gay' means 'happy'...you should know that in the human world it's also more commonly referred to as something else."
"Oh really? Well what does being 'gay' mean over here?" She asked. Her perfectly innocent question was met with a wall of laughter from the audience
He briefly reflected on how odd it felt to have to explain something that was so prevalent in human culture.
"Uh well it means...basically...actually come here for a second." He said, standing up to get closer to her. Leaning in Rainbow Dash turned her head to the side as Jon began to whisper something to her. Slowly her faced turned red. She realized now what going on and felt embarrassed, both because of the subject matter and the fact that she had looked silly on live television."
"WOW!" She exclaimed, now flying so high in the air she briefly went off camera. "THAT'S what that means!"
The crowd continued to laugh which only made her turn more red. Jon tried not to laugh but it was hard not to.
"UGH! For the love of Celestia," She said as she slapped both her hoofs across her face, trying to hide her increasingly blushing cheeks. "How did they even know I'm-- I mean WAIT A MINUTE! Why does this...'ELPT' want me to mascot for them anyway!? I aint into mares!"
"Again it goes back to your hair," Jon responded now pointing to her mane and tail. "The uh...the official colors of gay pride is the Rainbow."
There was a slight pause before Rainbow Dash calmly sat back on her cloud looking very disappointing by the kind of attention she was getting. Not because of what they represented but because the only thing they wanted her for was her Rainbow image.
"Yeah you can go ahead and tell them I'm not interested in no deals." She said, her face half burred in the cloud.
"Are you sure about that? I think you would make a great mascot." Jon jokingly said to try and cheer her up. "You know I, uh-- I got some connection down at PBS, if you want I can pull some strings to see if we can't get them to bring back the 'Reading Rainbow,'....I'm sure they'd let you host it."
It didn't help her feel any better.
"You know there's more to me than just my name and hair," she said in a slightly pouting tone while at the same time looking at the gaudy layout of the studio set. "...I'm special."
"No, no, no, I'm sure you are!" Jon said profusely. "Why don't you elaborate by telling a little bit about yourself? Like explain...who is-- what it is you actually do for a living. What is your occupation?"
She was still a little down from before but the opportunity to talk about herself some was too good a chance to pass up.
"Well...I do weather patrol around Ponyville." she said now sounding a little more active.
"That's right I've heard, uh I've heard that Pegasi are in charge of controlling the weather." Jon commented.
"That's right Johnny!" She said, giving herself a boost of confidence. "And I'm in charge of assigning who does what and in what area!"
Even thought she obviously was trying to convey that she was a high ranking weather official Jon couldn't help but imagine her sitting languidly in a cloud all day while making everyone else do the work.
"So tell me...from a Pegasus point of view how did you-- explain how you came about learning...that you could control the weather," he said as he made motions with his hand on the table. "Was it like when you were a kid you were just like; 'man I'm having such a bad day right now, oh wait why is it suddenly raining.' or--"
Both the audience and Rainbow Dash laughed. With a quick shift in weight she made it so her cloud was at a lower altitude so she could address Jon better.
"Nah man, it’s nothing like that. We pegasi are just real good at handling these kinds of things," She demonstrated by rubbing her lone cloud. "When we're young we get sent to a special kind of school in Cloudsdale where we are taught how to maintain temperature, or how to properly use a cloud, and when and where to make it rain. It's every Pegasi's duty to make sure the weather is properly maintained and regulated cause without us the seasons would...well there wouldn't be any seasons."
During her entire explanation Jon just listened and nodded his head in appreciation for the important public service that her species does every day.
"My job is just sitting on my ass and making fart jokes all day long," Jon responded which caused Rainbow Dash to roll around in her crowd laughing hysterically. "Sooooo I think we know who the clear winner is here."
"OH YEAH!?" Rainbow Dash said now feeling in a playful mood. "Well I get to sit in this comfy, comfy cloud!...Do you have a cloud? HA, didn't think so!"
"Yeah well you can keep your smelly old cloud!" he said. "My chair has wheels."
"Oh I'm sooooo jealous." She demonstrated by rolling around in her cloud till she was completely surrounding by it; with the only part of her visible being her eyes. The crowd laughed at the sight of Rainbow Dash who resembled less a pony and more like a giant white cream puff.
"You sure do love that thing," Jon said now adjusting his tie and speaking in a overly joking tone. "Wha-what, is your house made of clouds too!?"
"Actually it is!" She answered after she had popped her head through the top of her seat like a Wack-a-mole. "Yeah, yeah, yeah, I live in a floating partial cloud-house just in between Cloudsdale and Ponyville .
"Huh, I...I uh,got the impression that... that you lived in Cloudsdale," he said as has he fiddled with his pen. "Don't all Pegasus come from there?"
"Eh, sorta. I was born and raised there, but now I work and hang out mostly in Ponyville." She said. "On occasion I'll still swing by my old flying grounds just to let them know whose boss...so I guess I'm lucky my place is right in the middle."
"Which...which would you say you like best?" Jon asked, feeling like throwing her an easy question. "Like say you had to uh...you were required to say in one place...the, the, the rest of your life which would it be?"
The question forced her to think for a second as she idly kicked chunks of cloud on the ground.
"Oooooo that's a tough one. Well...I'll always love Cloudsdale because it's where I grew up...plus it's where I usually spend my weekends to see the attractions. Real talk; It's one of the most happening towns in all of Equestria." She said now with a grin on her face. "Matter of fact, you should come visit sometime, Johnny...I'm sure you'll just fall head over heels in love with the place."
Only a small handful of people knew what Rainbow Dash was hinting at, and like a veteran getting painful flashbacks of his time in the war Jon shuddered as he briefly replayed the events of last night in his head.
"Buuuut if I had to choose I say I'd rather live in Ponyville," Rainbow Dash continued. "I mean it may not be as active as Cloudsdale but all my friends live there."
"Now...is that your final answer." Jon said, using his notes to pretend to fill in some boxes on an application.
"Yeah I think so," She answered. "The ponies who live are pretty nice and it's a pretty safe town...it's the kinda place where you can leave your front door unlocked at night and nopony will break in."
"Now that sounds like a great place to live: nice people, good values, and--" Jon said cutting himself off to place his two fingers against his ear. "...Ok, I'm now being told that thefts in Ponyville are at an all time high."
Although she knew he was only joking around the cyan colored Pegasus took the opportunity to brag some more.
"Thieves in Ponyville, huh? BRING EM ON!" She yelled while striking a pose like a professional boxer. "I can take em! I'll beat up anypony who tries to mess with Ponyville!"
"Ya hear that criminals!? If you come by Ponyville and start trouble you'll have to deal with Rainbow Dash!" Jon yelled while pointing at an adjacent camera. "She'll use her Pegasus powers to make the weather lightly dreary!...And...if that doesn't work...she'll, god forbid, she'll make it'll rain on you...don't tempt her! SHE'LL DO IT!"
Ordinarily his patronizing would have annoyed her but with the crowd laughing she couldn't help but join them. It was infectious that way.
"That's actually one of the reasons why I love Cloudsdale so much," She said. "It's located high in the skies so we're safe from most enemies without wings. But Ponyville...Ponyville is a sitting duck when it comes to hostiles. I swear it's like every week somepony tries to start something with us."
"I'm assuming you're talking about the number of times it's been attacked by...let's say the forces of evil?" Jon asked feeling silly for using such a corny description. "Would...you go as far to say that your being a member of the Elements of Harmony have-- uh, means that it's your responsibility to, to ensure the safety of those around you?"
"Yeah I guess you can say that, but really the citizens of Ponyville have nothing to fear with me around," she said proudly. "I was there to stop Nightmare Moon, the parasprite invasion, and when Discord came to town...yep I know my way around a bad guy or two."
"You make it sound like you did it all by yourself," Jon commented as he leaned back in his chair. "Isn't it called the Elements of Harmony?"
"Well I mean yeah sure my friends also help in protecting Equestria but I kinda like to think I do most of the work," she said as she laid about on her cloud. "When it comes to the gang I'm definitely the 'HPIC.'"
"'HPIC?'" Jon asked.
"Yep...head pony in charge." Rainbow Dash answered. The crowd cheered her on while Jon leaned in with one hand under his chin.
"I'm gonna go out on a limb and say you're not the element of modesty." He ventured.
"Hey, hey, hey all I'm saying is I do a lot for the team," she continued. "Also when Nightmare moon and Discord came to Ponyville and we used the elements to stop them what do you think was used to deliver the final blow...it wasn't a giant apple I'll tell ya that...it was a rainbow!"
"It...it really does seem like Ponyville is subject to uh, to a lot of....hostility," Jon said. "How often do you guys have to-- I mean like does the major have a special phone that she uses to call you guys? Like every other week she'll be like: 'Elements of Harmony the city of Ponyville is under attack by a giant monster; we need your help.'"
"Nah we don't have anything like that, but you know it's not a bad idea," she thought out loud. "I'll have Twilight mention it at the next town hall meeting...she's the only pony who ever goes to it."
Trying his hardest not to laugh Jon placed a hand over his mouth and lowered his head to try and contain himself. In the short time that he's known her he had to admit the thought of Twilight alone in a town hall building listening to the major was as frighteningly accurate as it was hilarious.
Making Jon Stewart laugh was enough of a victory for Rainbow Dash that she stood on her cloud to pump her hooves in the direction of the audience.
"Now...now before you said that...you like going to Cloudsdale to uh...see the attractions." Jon continued, holding back in left over laughs. "What kinds did you go see and explain, if you can, why you have to go to Cloudsdale to see them?"
Jon thought it was a relatively easy question bordering on soft but for Rainbow Dash it meant she could talk about something very important to her. Before answering she ducked slightly in her seat.
"Well Cloudsdale does have a lot to offer like the Rainbow factory or Nimbus Avenue," She said. "But when I'm there I never pass up the chance to see in action the great, the extraordinary, the biggest baddest, most awesomest group of ponies to ever exist..."
As if there was spring loaded seat in her cloud Rainbow Dash burst forward in excitement and flew straight in the air, doing a mid air back flip before diving back down on the cloud like it was a trampoline.
"...THE WONDERBOLTS!" She added, her voice high in volume.
"The who?" Jon responded.
"WHAT!?" She shot back. "You’re kidding...HOW HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF THE WONDERBOLTS!?"
"For the same reason I don't know who 'One Direction' or Nicki Minaj is," he said with a shrug. "...I'm old."
"Oh brother...alright Johnny listen up cause I'm only going to say this once!" Rainbow Dash said with a deep sigh. "The Wonder Bolts is a squad of Pegasus ponies who are famous for their performances where they show off killer aerial acrobatics and super cool demonstrations. They're the fastest flyers in all of Equestria and they often perform in Cloudsdale and on some occasions in Canterlot for the princess herself! Ever few years they scout for talent in search of new members with the current team being: Spitfire, Soarin', Rapidfire, Fleetfoot--"
"Ok, ok I get it you’re a fan!" Jon interrupted before she went any further.
"I'm not just a fan!...I'm their number once fan!" She yelped with a giddy expression. "And someday I'm going to be a member of the Wonderbolts just like them!"
"Have you tried auditioning before?" Jon asked, wanting to keep the pace of this topic alive.
"Not officially, no." She answered. "I'm still training...I want to make sure I'm ready for when I finally go for it."
"Admirable...but you know if I were you I'd just do this," Jon said as he prepared his famed stereotypical New York Accent. "Eh yo wonderbolts! You enjoyin' livin' ere in Equestria? Yeah, I saved it twice...baboom!"
As the crowd laughed Rainbow Dash tried to keep a serious look about her since they were talking about her lifelong idols.
"You know the way you describe the Wonder Bolts is the same-- is very similar to a group of flying performers here in our world," Jon continued. "They're called 'The Blue Angels' and they...pretty much do the same things that your guys do."
"Ooooo 'The Blue Angels' huh...they sound pretty cool, though not as cool as the Wonder Bolts, obviously," Rainbow Dash said, trying her best to sound forward. "Do you know what their WP is? I want to know how fast they are!"
"I'm sorry...but what's WP." Jon asked.
"You know 'Wing power,'" She answered. "I want to compare their WP with mine!"
As far as Jon knew there wasn't a well known measurement of speed known as WP. This led him to believe that Rainbow Dash might be assuming too much.
"Uh just so we're clear you do know that the members of The Blue Angles don't actually have wings, right?" He asked a now shocked Rainbow Dash.
"Wait, what?" She said. "How can they perform flying acrobatics if they don't even have wings?"
"They do so because they fly in planes," he continued only to get more confused looks, "Uh...a plane is a mechanical device that allows humans to fly for a period of time...they don't actually have wings on their backs, no human does."
"Wait, wait, wait, hold on here!" Rainbow Dash demanded as she shook her head. "So you're telling me that in addition to not being able to use magic humans can't even fly? Wow, and here I thought you were just the human version of an Earthpony...I kinda feel sorry for you humans."
The crowd cooed in fake protest; they took her statement not as an insult but as a humorous look at human life.
"You guys over at Ponyville live next to a 30-foot-tall Hydra," Jon quipped back. "I think us...as New Yorkers not having to live next door to a multi-headed dragon is a pretty good trade off for not having wings or a horn on our head."
It was almost time for the interview segment to end so Jon made sure to get one least question in before they had to go to a commercial break.
"Before we go I want to know...what is-- what exactly is a 'Sonic Rainboom?'" Jon continued. "You're known for being the only pony to ever pull it off but aside from the footage I'm not very sure what it is."
"Well to put it simply...the Sonic Rainboom is when a pony flies so fast that they can break through the color barrier," She explained proudly. "When the barrier is broken a whole buncha colors gets released, and I'm the only pony who's ever done it."
"Congratulations." Jon said right before the crowd had a quick round of applause for the proud Pegasus. "That sounds like quite a nice thing to have on your Pony resume."
"Yeah...it kinda is," She said trying and failing to sound humble about it. "Sooo tell me Jon have your precious Blue Angles done anything as cool as a Sonic Rainboom?"
"Uh...well I'm not sure about that," he answered, his guest acting not at all surprised. "But we do have a guy who-- he, who broke the sound barrier...a guy by the name of Felix Baumgartner."
This sudden new development caused Rainbow Dash to sit up in her cloud and take notice.
"Wait...w-what did he do?" She asked cautiously.
"Oh nothing much he just flew up into space and Skydived all the way back to earth," Jon continued. "He went so fast he actually broke the sound barrier."
"That...sounds awesome!" She said, her voice high pitched for a second.
"Yeah...it kinda is." He responded with a smug grin.
"Hey wait a minute!" She said. "I thought you said no humans had wings...how did this Felix guy fly up all the way to space!?"
Jon had to think for a second before answering since he only knew vague details of the operation.
"Well a space team sponsored by 'Red Bull' brought him up there." Jon said. "The whole thing was something of a publicity stunt with the main goal being Felix breaking a number of world records?"
"Wait...so what you're saying is...a Bull brought this human into space?" Rainbow Dash asked as she tried to visualize what it would look like in person.
"No actually that's-- you see 'Red bull' is an energy drink company, not an actual bovine." Jon explained.
"So an energy drink company made a human jump from space to break some records and gain attention?" Rainbow Dash summarized out loud while counting on her hooves.
"Welcome to America!" Jon announced as he threw his arms out. "Actually that reminds me...the 'Red Bull' company also tried to get in contact with me this morning...they too wanted to see if you wanted to work for them."
"Oooooh let me guess," Rainbow Dash said, her voice sounding annoyed. "They are somehow connected with Rainbows so they wanted me to be their mascot."
"Actually no not at all," Jon explained. "I believe they were interested in you because of the fact that you can fly."
"REALLY!" She said with an ever present smile. "Is, is, is it because I'm super fast and agile with a WP level that could put anypony to shame!?"
"I can't be one hundred percent certain but I think it's because you have wings," Jon said, trying not to laugh. "...Their slogan for the company is 'Redbull gives you wings.'"
Her once enthusiastic smile disappeared as she fell through her cloud and landed on the guest's chair. The crowd began to laugh as Rainbow Dash smacked her hoof against her face. After a round of laughter Jon leaned in to address her.
"Rainbow Dash it's been great having you here today!" Jon said as he grabbed her hoof to give it a shake. "And I wish the best of luck to you in your dream of being a member of the Wonder Bolts."
"...Thanks, Johnny!" She said as her spirits began to lift again.
"Listen can you stick around for about five minutes and we'll throw the rest up on the web?" He asked as he pointed to the camera.
"Sure thing, big guy!" She said as she flew back in the air.
"Excellent! Thanks again for being here today," Jon said as he turned to the camera. "Rainbow Dash everyone. We'll be right back."
The camera began to pan away in a slightly faster pace than usual. This was done so the audience at could get a good view of Rainbow Dash who at this point was flying just at arms reach above Jon's head. It was slightly harder to tell but right before the segment ended the last thing anyone could see was Jon whispering something in her ear. The cheers of the audience got louder and louder only to slowly fade as the Daily Show logo appeared on screen then vanish in favor of the final commercial break.