• Member Since 19th Dec, 2011
  • offline last seen Dec 27th, 2019



There was a question... and Spike wanted the answer. The curiosity of it was gnawing at his little dragon brain like gerbils in a vat of candy corn. In desperation, he turns to Cadence for help, and she's more than happy to assist.

After all, it's just a simple question. What's the worst that could happen?

(Takes place prior to Season 1. Rated for scattered innuendo.)

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 320 )


All of my lols good sir. You have won them all.:rainbowlaugh:

That was amazing, everyone was perfectly in character. Not enough people acknowledge Celestia as Spike's mother but I think it's the right path.
Twas funny, d'aww worthy, and overall a great read.

Cadence you got some esplainin to do!

All the swag... All of it...


Well Cadence appears to be doomed. Well obviously not, she made it to her wedding.

This is a glorious thing you have done. Clearly you are not human, but actually some type of super writer from outer space. :pinkiecrazy:

Oh Cadence, you so silly. Good story, a very entertaining one-off. My hat is off to you.

A pleasant, cute story. The rhythm and timing, if you'll excuse the expression, of the various jokes and gags were well done. Spike learning about love in such a naive fashion is all too appropriate.

How has no one make this reference?!:

On the plus side Spike learned how to be nice to Rarity.

VERY VERY NICE Cadence’s heart was pounding in her chest, and if wasn’t for her aunt’s menacing stare pinning her to the spot, she would have already dived out the nearest window. SOME OF THESE lines are glorious

and then Spike ditches Twilight for Rarity upon meeting the mare in Ponyville. THE END. :rainbowdetermined2::scootangel: lol

1691257 All of the excrement in the omniverse has hit cadence in the face, turned into a storm, and then hit the fan that is celestia's rage.

This has nothing to do with what I was talking about. But I am a hardcore Zelda fan so who cares? :derpytongue2:
*Blasts at Full Volume*

1692118 HELL YEAH! ZELDA STEP IS A THANG! There is some real good stuff. Lindsey Stirling for example. she made some good pieces. And music to music. Thats my reply train of thought... EAT YOUR HEART OUT MANDOPONY! I GOT DEBSTEP ZELDA!

Lindsey Sterling. Beautiful music and just plain beautiful.
Mandopony. Just bawss.


That last part, LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL:rainbowlaugh:


You litteraly expressed my exact thoughts of this story...

1692175 Yep. Did you know about... THIS!?!

You get a very enthusiastic thumbs up for this freaking awesome story. Cadance herself, however, gets a thumbs down for teaching Spike - not the pink taco pleasuring - the most pointless, outdated, and cumbersome romantic gesture in the book; who ever decided that throwing a jacket into a puddle and carrying that sopping thing around was a good idea? Damn you, Cadance! For that (and I guess for letting Spike catch her getting oral sex), she totally deserved to get chucked off the balcony by her husband.


That ending was perfect.:rainbowlaugh:

And for the sequal, Cadence (or maybe Twilight) be giving a similar lesson on The Birds and the Bees to (get this!) Sweetie Bell, Applebloom and Scootaloo. :rainbowlaugh:

Spaghetti fell out of the vein on my arm that the doctor took blood from for my blood test to check for thyroid problems because of Cadence's mistake.

Sex seems so much more wrong when it's from an innocent's mind's viewpoint. :twilightblush:

So... First of all, very well written, don't see any grammatical or spelling errors, and the story was surprisingly informative, as well as being absolutely FUCKING HILARIOUS, this has to be one of the best stories I have read in a long time, very well done!

Yow. :applejackconfused: Thumb-upped.

I think a "clean" version of this would be even sweeter, and closer to canon in more than one way. In one of the short cardboard books for little kids, they revealed that Cadance and Shining Armor met at the train station when he was on the way back from military school; I'm assuming it takes place after Twilight outgrows the need for a foalsitter.

Hey, look! Celestia's about to demonstrate how to launch a pair of ponies into the sun! :D

Hee hee hee. Cadance, you're so doomed. Loved this story. Everyone just felt right, and there's no more I can say about that.

1691436 How do you think she got into those caves in the first place? :trollestia:

Nitpick: how is this a "Romance" story? It's not about relationships of that kind (Shining Armour/Cadance is secondary at best). Just "Slice of Life" describes it perfectly.


Hilarious and the thought of tiny Spike proposing to filly Twilight is amazing adorable. :twilightsmile:

Oh that was quite humorous.:rainbowlaugh: You forgot one kind of love though, Toxic Love.

Started out good... standard fluff and such... started to get deeper, showing promise of beeing a good read...

Spike shook his head.  “No, I mean like kissing on the neck, or when the stallion kisses the mare between her legs.”

My reaction was about the same as Cadance's lol
And it just kept getting more hilarious!

CADENCE YOUR FUCKED!!!:raritycry: AND NOT IN THE GOOD WAY EITHER!!!:raritydespair::rainbowderp:

This fic, is fuckin PERFECT!!:pinkiehappy::pinkiecrazy:
I entered expecting CadenceXSpike and left laughing my head off from her being so obviously screwed!:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:
I loved Celestia's slow and controled anger... it only made the end even better!:rainbowkiss::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

That was so sweet, then it took a hilarious turn for the better. Good story mate, wish I could write like this. :moustache:

Well that was nice:twilightsmile:
Following the Faust-canon that Celestia took care of raising Spike:ajsmug:
Funny and fun to read:pinkiesmile:

Oh my gosh that was so sweet and heartwarming and awkward and hilarious all at once :heart: Wonderful job.

I think Cadence handled Spikes questions pretty well, except for forgetting the "not until you're older" part of getting married and doing all those... married couple things :twilightblush: Better to just be honest with him, rather than have him off asking around... especially after what he'd seen.

That last scene was so funny. Poor Cadence. Things just kept edging closer and closer to danger, then that moment of dread when Twilight mentioned 'fun things', and BAM! Moon.

At least they hadn't actually done it yet. If Spike remembers that Cadence said "maybe in a few years" on marrying Shining, and yet they already do the 'married couple things'...

I really want a sequel, starting with showing Spike and Twilight's conversation and proposal, and continuing to see what becomes of all of them. Especially Cadence :trollestia:

:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh: This has certainly made my day! Poor Cadance, she'll be lucky if Celestia doesn't use her as rocket fuel, for her trip to the moon! :rainbowlaugh:

Okay. This was hilarious. Cadance will be FINE. She did make it to her wedding after all. And I think Twilight and Spike make a more adorable pairing than Rarity and Spike do, but that's just me.

i.neoseeker.com/mgv/574321-Liege/321/12/79264_hubble_me_gusta_twilight_sparkle_display.jpg That was one of the funniest stories I ever read. And dat ending :rainbowlaugh: You should make a sequel to this

Decided to read this on a whim after seeing it in the feature box.

Was not disappointed. Very well written piece of work, nicely thought out and well put together.

And that punchline was superb. XD

Cadance is such a nymphomaniac :rainbowlaugh:

Five moustaches !! :moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

Suddenly the population on the sun increased by 1. A milisecond later the sun became unoccupied.
This story had d'aww moments and that ending too hilarious. :rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

This is genius!

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