• Member Since 7th Jul, 2012
  • offline last seen Feb 19th, 2016

Ifitsleeps


T
Source

He never wanted to be a part of anything illegal; even if he didn't have much love for ponies. He was just some guy. Some cynic that happened to live his life in Equestria, trying to live his day to day life in relative comfort and minimal contact with ponies. But through after some coaxing from his friends (read as blackmail) he was forced to attempt to steal the royal crowns from the palace and caught in the act. However, given a chance to redeem himself, the thief is offered the choice to become Princess Celestia's royal attendant.

With little other choice, this would be thief's life is turned on it's head. And now instead of a steady inconspicuous life, filled with ease and mediocrity, his life is now one of warmth, excitement, and a friendship that can only be forged once a thief begins honoring the sun.

Chapters (3)
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Comments ( 129 )

I hope at one point you will explain how he ended up in Equestria. Interesting start though

aah. it seems OK written, let's hope that this story get what deserves, which is more than 20 likes.

Good start, I like the premise and how this is going, want to see more and know how he ended up in Equestria.

Celestia's body is so out of proportion in that picture haha.
In other news how does the sex aspect of this story come in? Is this story based on the sex with added romance or romance with added sex?

that pic makes celestia look like she should be a part of the equestrian twerk team...I like it. :pinkiesmile:

Great descriptions. Not a fan of some of the word choice, but that's just me.

2883614

Well, I added the "sex" tag more for discussions or jokes that might pop up later on that might include sex. As far as romance goes, well, I won't say much, but there might be a romance here or there, but the main thing I'm going to try and focus on in this story is the relationship between Celestia and Our Protagonist.

2884778 That's what I like to hear! I'm in. (I'm a sucker for Celestia stories)

2883637

Shame that I didn't do a Dark Souls fic, eh? I bet Sunbro would have one hell of a time at Celestia's side.

2882191

>More than twenty likes

GOAL ACHIEVED.

Well, I'm interested :). You got a reader. And I've almost reached that goal myself ^_^

Hmm, a romantic comedy, eh?

Well, it could work so long as it doesn't end up taking itself too seriously. I shall read and MAKE MY JUDGEMENT!! (The Earth quakes and there is wailing and gnashing of teeth) :trollestia:

2885327 is was expecting this when i read the story but nice story this video should explain my feelings because i was expecting this

Either her had too hooves on me or…

I absolutely cannot parse this sentence. :twilightoops:

I'm pretty sure this is how your Protagonist feels.25.media.tumblr.com/99df7f977bf0e61c8b3385cbd2c4dd31/tumblr_mep2b7gLr61qcbq9jo6_r3_500.gif
I enjoy stories with 'tia in them, well at lest when she isn't a pony Stalin. 'tia dose not get enough love.

2887809

Thanks for pointing that out. I edited it. It now reads "He had two hooves" Thanks man.

2887849 Can't argue with that.. It can be so irritating when she's almost always depicted as either a control freak, a dictator or worse. I would even go as far as to understand that, if the events take place pre-FIM timeline in her past, where some of the events we know she took place in could kind of hint at a slightly more unforgiving nature, but when you have her act like that in FIM timeline, not so much..


I shall await eagerly to see the direction which this story will take.. Do not disappoint me, writer, your nameless reader demands it. :trixieshiftright:

Interesting premise. I hope his back story will be discussed at some point though.

2892755
No problem. His "Story" begins in chapter one and his back story? Well, we'll find out mor eand more of it as the story continues. Also, Nice RWBY icon, can't wait for the web premiere tomorrow~ :twilightsmile:

damn i was just getting into the story :rainbowlaugh: cant wait for more :twilightsmile:

>>>The U.S. was in such an economic boom and had a party mind set in the twenties, that people began to buy more things than they could afford using credit (sounds familiar? Coughcoughmoderntimescoughcough) >>>

Average public school student's response: Hurr durr, but the Fed can just print more money!

(Can I destroy mankind now, pls?) :pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy:

...betrayed her ability to be able to use magic...

That part of the sentence is a tad redundant. I think it would be "betrayed her ability to use magic...".

Aside from that, it's a nice start. Looking forward to more. :twilightsmile:

2902104

I actaully wrote this at like three in the morning. Thanks for the save.

2911245
Cake? Um, I don't know exactly....what you mean....

2933731

I'm working on it. But I have other things I'm doing, such as work, video games, and an actual novel I'm working on. I am writing in Honoring the Sun as much as I can, but ultimately, life is keeping me busy as well.

This fic seems promesing, looking foward to the next chapter.

It has almost been a month! Where are the updates?

3010465

I've been working on the story for the past week or so. It's a bit hard to gather the motivation to write, since it's summer. But I've been consistently writing and it should be up within a few days. Possibly before the weekend is out.

Spacecowboy
Story Approver

Had marked this to be read once you got some more work in, I've been a sucker for stories that give Celestia some much needed love without dumping all over her.

Glad to see a much nicer chapter length from you, I look forward to reading this when I have the free time tomorrow. Keep up the writing, I'll leave a critique once I'm done reading. : )

Interesting story you've got here. I like the main character, but wow, he is really considerate for such a bitter cynic. If I got screwed over in such a way, I would have started burning things! :pinkiecrazy: Heh, I kid, I kid (not really). But yeah, I'd really like to see how this pans out.

Hmmmmm, I'm interested to see what he does. Please, continue.:pinkiehappy:

3025104 Humans are terrible creatures, aren't they?

Thank goodness they'll all be gone soon. Quite soon.. (heh heh heh heh heh... they'll never even see it coming...) :pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy:

3025407 Damn you...

Now I must construct a Fate Alteration Engine to overcome her 4th Wall powers.

*goes off to find Isaac Newton* :trollestia::pinkiecrazy:

Does this mean that you'll update a little more frequently?

You have put a lot of work on the people of this story. I what to see what next to the story. Let see what new elements you will put in play. I do hope to see a new chapter soon.

Liked and Favorited. Now please continue. :moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

The prologue was quick, started in the middle of action and kept the tension and interesting part a story. The first chapter felt slow and telly. A lot of the dialogue felt like it was meant to develop character and nothing else. The best way to write is to try and have it serve at least two purposes.

It was just too strange and out of place; they cared way too much about the people around them, regardless if they knew them or not.

Someone call?

3025449
I'll do my best. I have part of the next chapter typed up and I hope that it will live up to the story. I am going to try harder to update more frequently, but with University classes rearing their ugly head in the future....

3024925
Well he is a Cynic, but he's not as Cynical as most other cynics I have met in my own life. I tried to make him more...jaded than cynical, keeping him towards the kind of person that can distrust ponies who are happy and wonderful and all friendshipy, but still function as a decent person.

3025628
Thank you for this advice. I'll keep it in mind while I write other chapters. Criticism is always welcome, as it helps me develop more as a writer. Thank you for pointing this out and I hope to address it in later chapters. Thanks a million!

3025104
Jeremy is kind of a twat ain't he? Kinda makes a guy/gal wonder why someone like Glenn would be friends with him, huh?

3025457
Thank you. I did put a lot of time actually designing how I want my characters to be and their speech patterns. I actually wrote three pages of pure dialogue with each character to get them down pat.

Was definitely excited to see this pop up as updated, and I have to say you didn't disappoint. While I'm still mainly wanting to see how Tia will tie into this after he gives his explanation, it was needed to get information on why exactly he was taking part in this theft in the first place. Good character building, and I eagerly await the next update.

Woah, not a very friendly thing to do, the poor guy is surrounded by plotholes! All he should have said was "Ok, sure, i'll help but you gotta choose, force me into this and this is the last night we will ever hang out as pals, your choice."
In other Words, make it very clear that FRIENDS do not pull crap like that, he's reaction was just to forgiving, "Oooh, you big dummy blackmailing me like that! I will not speak to you for a whole week!" He should have made it very clear that if he forced him like this their friendship would be done, instead he just treated it like something friends actully do to each other.

3027523
They'll do a lot of things. Like ride the bus. Have meaningful conversation on how yearbook went and about her friends and, uh, you know, drama.

But really, no spoilers.

3027398
Hahaha. Yeah. I rushed the end a bit. I'll admit that. Hmm. I'll see about revising that. Thanks a lot for pointing that out! But also notice that he says he doesn't want to see him for a while--IF EVER. He' snot just brushing it off, but he's not telling it to Jeremy's face. He's not really accepting the matter, but he isn't going to give an ultimatum. You'll understand this more as the chapters continue. Glenn isn't going to be as forgiving as he making himself seem to be.

I liked this chapter, but I found some minor errors you may want to edit.

Simply put, they were a little to empathetic towards people and tended to react in extremes; they had no emotional buffer.

That should be "too".

“Ya sure you’re feelin’ down, Sugah?” She stared right at me, he orange eyes far more agonizing than Jeremy’s.

That should be "her".

A slightly whimsical look crossed Jeremy’s face. “Geez. I mean, I understand that why your pissed, but you gotta get over that whole thing with Ebony sooner or la—“

And that should be "you're". Still, I really like this fic and wish to see more of it.

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