• Member Since 12th Jun, 2013
  • offline last seen Aug 4th, 2015

HermitKlam


Canadian. Enjoys writing... and loaths it at the same time. Enjoys reading, animals, games, nighttime, family, nature, and turning little cousins into personal minions. Is a procrastinator.

T

Twilight just wants to sleep; unfortunately for her, not only is Celestia in a playful mood, but Luna is itching for some quality time. Shining Armor and Cadence then show up, and it turns into tug of war with Twilight as the rope. The prize? Spending quality time with everypony's favorite purple alicorn.

This story has Twilight/Celestia and implied Twilight/Luna. Also, Cadence has a very... vivid imagination.

Now a plotless(okay, so there's a bit of plot. Just a smidge, though.) ball of comedic fluff with multiple chapters.


Chapters currently edited:
Chapter 1 - Say It - edited by ultra1437

Chapters (9)
Comments ( 245 )

Well done. I was grinning while reading, so you did SOMETHING right.:pinkiehappy:

I saw one thing that stood out to me, “None of us expect you to grasp a century’s worth of change overnight.” Luna was gone for 1000 years not 100 or is she simply learning everything she missed a hundred years at a time?

Master85414 is right.

Should be a millenium (is that correct spelling) instead of century

hehe I quiite enjoyed that :twilightblush:

I found this gem of a fanfic on a night I could not sleep. And while I honestly prefer twilight x trixie... This story was very well written and was exactly what I needed to get to sleep.

I shall relinquish my sister to twilight. But know that my alicorn eyes and the stars above are watching for the perfect target of my love.

A well done to you, inspiring writer.
Princess Luna

Perfectly executed for a first timer.:twilightsmile:

edit: 2711564 Rainbow DashX Trixie ftw

2711209
That's great:pinkiehappy: exactly what I was going for.

2711269
2711431
Thank you for catching that. All fixed. (at least I think; still trying to get a hang of using this site)

2711334
Thank you :twilightsmile:

2711564
This one humbly accepts your praise. (and on a side note, I see it more in terms of sharing :scootangel: Not only does Luna have a sister to have fun with, but she can now rile up Blueblood and steal Twilight away for a few hours quite easily; hence, the fun has been doubled :pinkiehappy:)

2711434
2711872
That is good to hear, especially since it drowns out that little voice in my head yelling "NO! IT'S GARBAGE! START OVER!" :pinkiehappy:

Cute little short story. I like it.

Hm, short, sweet, simple... seems nice enough:twilightsmile: Only noted using "feet" rather than hooves:twilightsheepish:

Short and cute. I like it.

FIMFiction has a button when you're editing to automatically indent all paragraphs in your story. Could you go click that? Paragraph indents are proper english and help lazy readers like me easily identify new paragraphs.

As far as characterization, Luna seems fine. Celestia we see a lot of in the show, but hardly ever... in a relaxed setting. Even when she's in a "relaxed" setting, she's surrounded by guards and whatnot. So while she's not open game exactly, you can get away with a lot with her.

Twilight's a fan favorite, but you kept her focus on Celestia so you're safe there. All in all, a good short bit.

2712075

I know the frustrations of writing a first story as well. I am working on mine right now. I will be releasing it as soon as I finish the third chapter. It's called "The Sight of the Blind" and has a unique storyline and viewpoint.

But no matter how much thought I put into each word, my mind is screaming. "Luna! That's a terrible choice of words! Your story will never be popular! It will never be good! Just scrap it and do something more useful!" And it takes all the strength I have to ignore that voice, simply because I know I must at least try.

2712088
Why thank you :pinkiehappy:

2712279
Oooh, missed that one :twilightoops: I guess that's what you get for trying to edit while you're half asleep. Thank you for pointing it out.

2712307
That better? Sorry, I spent the better part of a month reading through an absolutely boring book on business writing, I guess block style stuck with me. I am relieved to hear they were passably in character :yay: so thank you for commenting.

2712521
Yeah. That little voice is pretty vindictive and should be beaten back with a three week old bread-stick whenever it pops up. Unfortunately, it's also pretty persuasive...

I really liked it!

You captured some good emotions here, it was both adorable and funny.

Keep writing stuff like this please good sir! Especially TwiLestia.

Characterization was perfect. I was honestly surprised when you said this was your first MLP story. Awesome job. :twilightsmile: Definitely going in my favorites.

Adorable. I wish half the stories I read on this site were this short/cute/shippy/all of the above. :twilightsmile:

I would love to see a whole story written by you if this is your first work. With this concept of coarse.

dear god this was great. . not normaly for twilestia as twiluna is my favorite. but this right here makes me consider twilestia as not only valid but adorable.

Having told myself that I'm tired of seeing "Twilight/Celestia" ship fics, this pops up.

Congratulations, this is great. I'm looking forward to seeing more from you in the future.

I couldn't stop giggling throughout. That's not a bad thing as this was fantastic!

Cute, and I think you got the characters down pat.

CWi

It was so adorable, I didn't want it to end! :rainbowkiss:

I want to read more of your writing.

Beautiful. That is all.
On second thought can I have another? This made me feel warm and fuzzy.

So much d'awwwwh :heart: This was adorable, I couldn't help myself from going "awwwe..." out loud. I hope to see more of your work! :pinkiehappy:

I greatly enjoyed it, even if I interpreted it firstly as more motherly than shippy. Look forward to more chapters, especially Lunas turn, or any back and forth over Twilight. But also some more reveal. Is there any 'story' planned, just slice of life (literally), or do you write as you go along?

Also, even if you have to put out some stinkers,don't be so hard on yourself. Stinkers can be fun too. At least don't delete things until you're sure. I didn't notice the indented paragraphs (so they must be doing the job since it didn't pull me out of the story). Normally on this site, with online text I see block paragraphs (to some peoples dismay), but I don't mind it. E-format vs. Hardcopy. Some people have strong feelings for it, but the new medium let's me be more forgiving. If you took away the lines between paragraphs I think I might complain, but what you have now is nice.

Edit: forgot that this is complete(?) If so that is entirely fine, and I instead look forward to more stories instead of chapters.

Wait a minute....

If Celestia's only sister is Luna, and she has no brothers, then how exactly is Blueblood her nephew? And wouldn't he be an alicorn too? Hmm... :twilightoops:

Sorry, I'm probably over thinking this. :twilightsheepish:

2713681>>2714288>>2714875>>2715124>>2716499>>2719174>>2720847>>2721607>>2725290
I am very glad you all liked it :raritystarry: When I write I do tend to lean heavily towards a heaping of fluff with varying amounts of humor sprinkled on top, which was exactly what I was aiming for with this fic. Glad that's how it came across, and that they were in character enough for the story to be enjoyable. I had intended for this to just be a oneshot, though I suppose I could add onto it... maybe show how Luna/Twilight spend the rest of the day/night and then Celestia finally getting her back in the morning... would give me something to do during class at least... :twilightsheepish:
2715816>>2716100
So, um, yay me for being unintentionally persuasive :twilightblush: Glad you liked it, even if it isn't your usual cup of tea :pinkiehappy:
2725673
I don't mind tweaking the format, and I do vaguely recall my middle school English teacher mentioning something about indenting paragraphs (oddly enough, I have no recollection of my highschool teacher mentioning anything of the sort :twilightsheepish:)... I'm not all that picky, however, as long as the paragraphs aren't ginormous and have spaces between them, so... meh. Whatever is easier to read. As for the first part of your comment, I will admit it did start out more innocently fluffy when I planned it out... then I got past the part where I had stopped planning and my sleep deprived mind decided it liked shippy Twilestia just as much, if not more, than familial Twilestia, and then Luna somehow ended up in there... Yeah. This all sounded so much clearer when it was in my head. :pinkiecrazy:
2727042
Yeah, his Prince-y-ness kind of puzzled me too. If he's a prince, then surely he's related to the royal family... a fact which just makes me shake my head in sympathy towards the princesses.It hurts my brain less if I view it more as an honorary title than any actual blood relation :eeyup:.

2738310 I don't care how you add to it, so long as it keeps being my favourite pairing. :pinkiehappy:
We've been having a shortage of Twilestia lately :raritydespair:

2738441
Yeah, I've noticed that too :raritydespair: No worries, though. Any additions will keep with the current recipe; a healthy heaping of fluffy Twilestia, a dash of humor, a cup or two of family bonding with Luna, another sprinkling of humor, and maybe a pinch of randomness to spice things up.

This is the bestest. Keep up the good work! :pinkiehappy:

Huzzah! tis Glorious!
Most Excellently Done!
:yay:

2743937
As long as people enjoy reading it, and barring something unfortunate happening like my brain going on strike, I shall endeavor to do so :twilightsmile:
2743979
Many thanks. We are glad you think so :raritystarry:

I shall continue to observe. :twilightsmile:

The cuteness is undeniable!

More please.

Ah this is good and Very light but nice and beautiful. It's not often that you find a decent story that doesn't have to be aggrandized by conflict.:twilightsmile:

Also I think luna has a few out dated views on how family works as in don't treat family like teddy bears, there quite touchy about the subject.

Oh! You are a sneaky one, aren't'cha:ajsmug:
Hooray, more Princess fun-times:twilightsmile:

I am getting a sisterly feeling from Luna ... for the first time in her life Luna discovered that SHE can be the big sister and Luna is Loving every blessed second of it. :twilightsmile:

This is great. Keep up the good work.

The fluff levels in this fic are incredible, I'm snuggling my blanket SO HARD while reading this. :twilightblush:

I would like some more, please?

2744683
Felt like reading it a bit slower. So far I've only noticed "Pinky Pie":pinkiegasp: instead of "Pinkie Pie":pinkiesad2:

What's this? *whisper* Some delicious Twilestia you say? *whisper* Oooh, that sounds interesting, we must have a look.

...

Delicious Twilestia is delicious.

I wonder how Tia will take it if Luna is crushing on Twilight. :pinkiecrazy:

...I'm not sure if Luna waits until the moment when she will prove the greatest possible disruption, or if Celestia and Twilight are just "lucky" that way.

But for me as a reader, I can just sit back and enjoy the chaos. And the delicious Twilestia, of course.

Mah brains, itsa melting from all the sugary sweetness!

This is precisely what I needed to purge the violence of my latest Dawn of War gaming run from my mind.

Also, upvoted, favorited and follow'd. Just in case you add moar.

2744192

Are you kidding? I'm already seeing this slowly spiraling out into this huge 4 way conflict as Celestia, Luna, Cadance, and Shining each begin a silent but firm squabble over who gets to cuddle Twilight.

Celestia: "I'm the oldest, I get first dibs!"
Luna: "But thou always has first dibs! I've been on the moon for a millenia!"
Celestia: "but our relationship has been developing for years."
Luna: "but we obviously have more in common! Because of that our relationship hath blossomed despite thine interference!"
Celestia: "MY interference! YOU'RE the one interfering!"
Cadance: "Whoa! Calm down you two! We don't need another Nightmare moon level incident, and it's obvious that this is becoming a problem. As the Princess of Love, I'm pulling rank to end this conflict."
Luna&Celestia: "Very well, which of us gets dibs?"
Cadance: "Well, since you're both being greedy, and aren't willing to share, neither of you get her."
Luna&Celestia: "WHAAAAT!?!"
Cadance: "I get her!"
Luna&Celestia&Shining: "Cadance! That's not fair!"
Luna&Celestia: "You already have Shining Armor!"
Shining: "Yeah, you have me! Besides, if anyone should be calling rank, it's her brother!"
Cadance: "You don't have wings though! It makes it different."
Celestia: "But she's mine!"
Luna: "Mine!"
Cadance: "Mine!"
Shining: "Mine!"
Celestia&Luna&Shining&Cadance: "Wait, where'd she go?"
ELSEWHERE
Discord: "So, Twilight, was it good for you too?"
Chrysalis: "It was. I can tell."
:twilightblush:

2747360 has a good idea. Throw in a six way conflict between all three other princesses, Discord, Queen Chrysalis, and Shining Armor over cuddling rights.

My opinion of the chapter. HNNNG and Daaaaaw readings are on the same scale as Twilight's Life. Need to read something less adorable to prevent heart failure from over-exposure to Daaaaaaw.

(Translation: I love this story.)

2747360
:rainbowlaugh: Wow. Just wow. I can imagine the neurotic mess Twilight would be after a few hours of that :pinkiecrazy: brings to mind ep.3 with the fight over the tickets, just, y'know, more intense for poor Twilight :pinkiehappy:

2747360 ah I see your great at play write.:twilightsmile:

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