Say It

by HermitKlam


Disguises and Discussions Pt.1

Shining Armor sat slumped on a bench in the castle’s entrance hall, absentmindedly returning friendly greetings to the passing guards. Sighing in dread, he once again rolled his eyes upwards to look at the clock, wishing the Princess of the Night would hurry up. While he wasn’t in a hurry to go shopping with her for Twilight’s surprise, all this waiting was taking a toll on him in the form of his overactive imagination, which kept supplying him with increasingly horrifying conclusions.

What if they were going shopping for wedding bands? What if she was planning on confessing her undying love for his little sister and wanted his advice on how to make the night perfect? What if she wanted to buy lingerie, and needed somepony’s opinion? What if she wanted to buy lingerie for Twilight and made him model it? A look of absolute horror slipped onto Shining Armor’s face as his brain vindictively supplied him with one other option.

…What if she dragged him into a sex shop?

Lost in a vicious cycle of increasingly disturbing thoughts, he almost didn’t notice a small cloaked figure sidle up beside him and speak. Turning his head, he couldn’t help but do a double-take as he realized exactly who it was.

“Hello! My name is Sunbeam!” Beaming, the cloaked figure looked up at him as he slowly slid off of the bench and on to the floor in shock. “What is your name?”

Opening and closing his mouth in astonishment, it took Shining a few moments before he was able to string together an actual word; sentences, at that point, were completely beyond him. “What?”

The figure’s expression turned serious as she shifted her eyes from the left to the right suspiciously. Not seeing anyone lurking about, she leaned her head slightly towards the incredulous colt, her expression suddenly sly as she whispered. “Shining Armor! ‘Tis I! Princess Luna!” Giggling, she rocked back on her hooves, eyes sparkling in glee at the success of her disguise.

“I never would have guessed,” Shining deadpanned.

“Yes, well, do not feel bad,” Luna reassured the seemingly dejected colt. “’Tis a very good disguise.”

“Right,” Shining agreed flatly, eyeing the princess’ disguise. She had once more donned the appearance she had worn upon her return from the moon; her once dark blue coat had lightened considerably and her starry ethereal mane had turned into normal light blue strands of hair. Add in the fact that she was now the size of his sister and was wearing a black cloak to cover her wings and it was, admittedly, a very good disguise.

Or, at least it would have been, if she had stopped there.

In a move of extreme overkill, the lunar princess had added two more items to her costume; two very conspicuous and extremely unnecessary items. Sitting daintily atop her muzzle was a pair of obviously fake, horn-rimmed glasses, their thick black frames doing nothing but drawing attention to her face. And if the spectacles weren’t enough to draw the eyes of everypony on the street, then the slender curly moustache affixed to her face certainly was.

“Why, exactly, are you disguised like that?” Shining asked reluctantly.

The sad part was, now that he’d had a moment to think about exactly who it was he was talking to, he was no longer unduly surprised at the outrageous getup. Being married to Cadence had really burst his picture perfect image of the royal family. He knew that if he ever sat down with any of the common ponies and told them what he’d seen and heard in the castle, he’d either be laughed right out of the establishment or arrested on the spot for slander.

“Is it not obvious?” Luna spoke glancing down at herself. “We do not wish to be recognized. That is the point of wearing a disguise, is it not?”

“I…” Shining Armour surprisingly came up short at that statement. “That… is actually a good idea. Things will go much faster if ponies aren’t stopping to bow every few feet.” The faster this little outing was completed, the better.

“Ah,” Luna cleared her throat, head tilted to the side in thought. “We had actually donned a disguise so as not to bring attention to the nature of the objects we were going to collect; however thou hast a good point as well.”

“Bring… attention…” Shining parroted brokenly, his voice laced with dread. No, he told himself adamantly before shaking his head in an attempt to make his thoughts dissipate. He wasn’t going to let his mind wander and jump to conclusions; that way lie images of lingerie and sex toys and his sister. Those were three things that should never, under any circumstances, be included in the same sentence, mental or otherwise.

“Of course; being inconspicuous would only benefit us…” Shining agreed, trying to find some way to delicately and politely tell the princess that she quite simply looked ridiculous. “But don’t you think the glasses and moustache are a bit… conspicuous?”

“You guards are always so paranoid,” Luna sighed in exasperation before mockingly raising her voice a few octaves. “’No Princess! Do not eat that sweet roll! It is poisoned!’” Rolling her eyes, she continued in her regular voice. “Of course ‘tis poisoned; do you take us for an imbecile? We simply enjoy the look on the culprit’s face when we pointedly do not perish. ‘Tis quite amusing, really.”

It was at that point that Shining Armor was ashamed to admit that he was just a touch glad that the lunar princess had spent most of his career on the moon. He doubted Cadence would find him even half as attractive if he were grey.

“You have nothing to fear, for this disguise is guaranteed to aid us in our endeavor to be incognito,” Luna reassured the speechless pony sagely. “It says so in our guide book.”

“Your… guide book.” Shining Armor deadpanned. “Really.” The only place something like that would actually work would be in a cheesy spy novel. No respectable book would ever give advice like that. Ever.

“Yes, ‘tis quite a riveting read.” Luna beamed. “One of the Elements gifted it to us last we were in Ponyville. T’was the pink one; the one with the curious ability which we have been assured is quite inexplicable. You know of whom I speak?”

And suddenly, it all made sense.

“Look, Princess,” Shining Armor started to hesitatingly point out that Pinkie Pie wasn’t the most normal of ponies when he was interrupted.

“Sunbeam.”

“What?” Shining Armor asked in a confused tone of voice.

“You shall address me as Sunbeam while we are out,” Luna informed him once again, before adding proudly, “’Tis part of the disguise. Nopony would ever expect Princess Luna to use a pseudonym more suited to her sister, the Princess of the Sun. Ingenious, is it not?”

Shining just stared at the smaller pony in front of him. He wondered what Cadence would do to him if he faked some sort of affliction to get out of playing escort. Almost immediately, thoughts of sitting in Twilight’s room and taking notes on his sister’s love life whilst braiding each other’s manes came unbidden to his mind, making his response infinitely easier to formulate. “Of course, Sunbeam.”

Sometimes you just had to pick your battles and hope for the best.

-0-0-

Twilight walked down the hall with her sister-in-law in a companionable silence, her mind furiously working to decipher just what her surprise consisted of. Systematically going through every conversation she had ever had with the lunar alicorn in her mind, she attempted the nigh impossible task of pinpointing exactly what it could be. Thoroughly immersed in her thoughts, it took her a few moments to realize she was now walking alone and a voice from behind was calling her name.

“Twilight!”

About-facing, Twilight smiled sheepishly as she saw Cadence standing amusedly in front of the open door to her chambers. “Oops, sorry.” Backtracking, she nodded to her door guards and slipped inside after the pink alicorn, closing the doors gently behind her. “I don’t spend a lot of time in here; I think I’ve maybe been in here once this visit? I usually sleep in-” Twilight abruptly cut herself off with a blush.

“In Celestia’s bed?” Cadence mischievously finished the purple pony’s sentence when it was clear that she wouldn’t. “Wrapped in Celestia’s loving embrace?”

Twilight cleared her throat embarrassedly, averting her gaze shyly even as she uttered out a small affirmative. Shifting from hoof to hoof awkwardly as she practically heard the pink pony’s grin splitting her face in half, Twilight coughed. “So, what did you want to do?”

Clearing her own throat, Cadence bit back the urge to coo at the adorably awkward alicorn and instead cast her gaze around the room searchingly. She knew what she wanted to do, but she also knew her efforts would yield far better results if her companion was more relaxed. An idea coming to mind, she climbed up onto the as of yet unused bed and patted the spot next to her with her hoof.

“Come get comfortable; let’s start with some girl talk,” Cadence smiled invitingly. A little bit of small talk would definitely loosen her companion up before the main attraction.

“Umm,” Twilight responded dubiously, slowly climbing onto her bed as well. “Alright.” Squirming slightly to get comfortable, she faced the innocently smiling princess. “What did you want to talk about?”

“Hmm, let’s start with…” Cadence floundered slightly, fishing around for a benign topic. “How are you dealing with being a princess?”

“It’s… going okay,” Twilight started slowly. “Most of the things I need to know had already been touched on in between my magic lessons growing up; a fact that makes a lot more sense now. Anyways, at this point I mostly just follow Celestia or Luna around, asking questions as they pop up. It’s actually not that different from when I lived here when I was a foal, now that I think about it.”

“Besides the whole deference and bowing thing, I take it?” Cadence teased.

“Oh, right,” Twilight responded sheepishly. “Nopony listens when I tell them not to bow, so I try to ignore it.”

“They’re easing you into it,” Cadence nodded, a knowing smirk on her face. “Just wait after a few years; eventually you’ll come to understand just how utterly boring court life is. Soon you’ll be just as crazy as the rest of us.”

“Yay,” Twilight deadpanned. “I can’t wait.”

“That’s the spirit!” Cadence laughed, Twilight’s serious face cracking into a matching grin. “And your transformation? How are you coping with being an alicorn?”

“That’s a bit harder to explain,” Twilight admitted. “It’s… different. Weird, but in a comfortable way; kind of like when you meet a stranger and you instantly feel like you’ve known each other your whole life. It’s strange; yet at the same time, oddly familiar.”

“I’m glad,” Cadence replied genuinely. “And I understand more than you think.”

“Right, I forgot.” Twilight smiled bashfully, before continuing. “My magic pool has grown significantly, and both my power and endurance have noticeably improved.” Pausing, Twilight thought for a moment before adding, “I have been tiring out more than usual though, and my wings get sore and worn-out pretty easily.”

“Give your body time; it just needs to adjust to all of the changes. Eventually you’ll need a lot less sleep than a regular pony. As for your wings,” Cadence nodded to the folded up appendages in question. “Just keep using them. As you work them out regularly, the muscles will get stronger and will in turn affect your stamina in the air.”

“Both Luna and Celestia mentioned something similar.” Twilight sulked slightly. “I still don’t find it fair that everypony’s wings are stronger than mine, though.”

“What do you mean?” Cadence questioned, confused.

“Wing-hugs,” Twilight grunted flatly with a small scowl. “I can never get out of them. Not that I ever really want to get out of them, mind you; they’re quite lovely. But that’s not the point.”

“So, for example,” Cadence looked at the cutely pouting pony innocently, lazily stretching out a pink wing. “If I were to do this…” Snapping her wing out in a flash, she wrapped it around the startled alicorn and pulled. Though they were quite close in stature, the pink alicorn had a slight advantage over the younger one in both strength and wingspan, making it possible for her to hold her captive flush against her side in an unyielding grip.

Cadence!” Twilight squawked indignantly.

“What? You said you liked wing-hugs.” Smiling teasingly, she tilted her head to make eye contact with the disgruntled pony.

“You said you enjoyed them so much you’d never want to end one prematurely.”

“But… But that’s…” Twilight whined in exasperation as her squirming proved pathetically futile. “That’s not the point you were supposed to focus on!”

“I’m sorry,” Cadence apologized between giggles. “But you have to admit, you flew right into that one.”

Twilight puffed up her cheeks in annoyance. Eyeing her giggling captor, the purple pony’s ire deflated. The Princess of Love’s joy was infectious and, despite her best efforts, she found her frown slowly melting into a long-suffering smile. Glancing up at the pink pony from beneath her bangs, Twilight wryly stated, “For some reason, I don’t get the feeling that you’re particularly sorry.”

Cadence’s giggling cut off abruptly. “Yeah.” Blinking, she peered down at the alicorn and responded matter-of-factly, “That was a lie.”

Twilight was so startled when the wing holding her down suddenly disappeared that she didn’t even react as it pushed her a small distance away. She gazed at the pink alicorn now facing her confusedly. “You… let me go? That soon?” Twilight spoke, steadfastly refusing to acknowledge the undercurrent of disappointment that laced her words.

“Believe me, Twilight,” Cadence reassured the littlest alicorn. “I would like nothing more than to cuddle with a pony as adorable as you all day, but since I would like to see your face while we chat, I’ll have to take a ‘you-owe-me’.”

“A U-O-me?” Twilight asked confused. “What?”

“No; a you-owe-me, not an I-owe-you.” Cadence explained patiently. “As in, you-owe-me-a-cuddle whenever I decide to cash in.”

“But-”

“So! How are your friends?” Cadence burst out suddenly, not giving the confused pony any time to refute her claim. “Anything exciting happen in Ponyville?”

Twilight stared at the pinky pony blankly at the abrupt change in subject. “They’re good.” She spoke slowly, as if expecting to be interrupted again. The alicorn had reminded her of Pinkie in that moment, unknowingly triggering her finely honed ‘Proceed With Caution’ instincts.

Noting the fact that her companion was suddenly on-edge and alert, Cadence cursed herself quietly. The whole point of the small talk, besides of course getting an update on Twilight’s life, was to make the littlest alicorn comfortable. A comfortable Twilight would be, theoretically, a Twilight more willing to divulge the details of her love life.

With that goal held firmly in her mind, Cadence pasted an innocently serene smile on her face. “Oh? Do tell,” she sweetly prompted the purple pony to elaborate.

“Well…”

-0-0-