• Member Since 30th Jul, 2012
  • offline last seen March 11th

DuskShadowTheArkane


E

Twilight Sparkle. A name known to everypony in all of Equestria. She's saved Equestria multiple times now, and with her and her friends being the Elements of Harmony, as well as being Princess Celestia's "Most Faithful Student", she enjoys a great life.
But what was before that? Follow her on her journey through foalhood, and her times as Celestia's Student.


This is my first fic, so constructive criticism is appreciated very much.
A huge thank you to WhatTheMoo and Knight Of Cerebus for proofreading this fic.
And a huge thank you to TwinTailsInc for allowing me to use his artwork

Chapters (7)
Comments ( 684 )

Thumbed up just for the picture :D love it!

Hell yeah! Nice story...

Didn't sleep at all, with a lack of sleep, I'm usually in a grumpy mood, but this story made me feel better, not quite sure how, but it did.

Have a mustache.:moustache:

I will get this more views if it kills me!:pinkiecrazy:

Well, ya' have my attention, I'll give ya' that. If this really is your first fan-fic then I'll wait to see how you work it before making a decision on how I feel about it.

My only concern is that, if this is truly about Twilight's whole life... well, there's no Spike tag.:fluttershysad:

Dat Profile pic...

Also grats on featured.

That was so sweet I think I got diabetes in a good way

Bravo, dude, bravo! Feed...me....moar!:pinkiecrazy:

Have a moustache for your hilarious profile pic. :moustache:

*Tries pressing D'aaaaawww buttton* [It doesn't work]

"GRAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"

That mean I love this :twilightsmile:

oh god.. my heart just stopped.... Baby Sparkle hugging Shining's Muzzle.. mental imagery.... Gyaaah!!

First fic and you in the featured box? WOW!

A very touching start, hope to see more from you soon :twilightsmile:

Must...give...thumb...and...

FAVE!!!:flutterrage:

Well, wasn't that just the most touching thing I've read all day.

Brilliant, keep it up. :pinkiehappy:

Yes! I was looking for a fic about this

Nice one.
You wanted some criticism, hm, well, Ill tell you, I cant find anything that would be out of place here, really.

And, this idea is awesome. My "newness" to this fandom might shine a little now, but this is the first story Ive read of this kind, a prologue to a main character. Now when I think about it, there probably are others, But Yours are the first to catch my eye, and its a nice one, really.

(Its a bit hard to do one of there with just one chapter, but, well, ill give it a go :D )

Characters
The fact that I dont know anything about the characters in this fic, makes them all more believeable. Eventhough I was kind of stumped on the actual birth-scene, the characters kept .. well, character through the chapter, and things they said made sense ;)

Story
This will be interesting I think, Ive thumbed up, favorited and Im watching you ;)
That said, there isn't much to be commented on yet, but its a great buildup, and I hope you wont abandon this project :)

Other thoughts
Foal-birth in a fic got me kind of stumped as I mentioned earlier. Not in a bad way though, as Ive written in other places, there's always something new to read, and this was another of those occurances.
--

So, now, this seems great. If this really is you first fic - I cant say that its noticeable - at all.
As mentioned earlier, Im watching you now and hope that you continue it sometime :)
Thanks for putting stuff out there for people to enjoy ;)

M

EDIT: Wow, gratz on getting featured :D
Btw, just zoomed in the artwork, or whatever its called, main picture. That also needs some recognition. Its really really well made, and toghether with this fic, just, awesome ;)

(Im starting too feel that Ive overused smileys in this comment, will try not doing that in the next one)

i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/225/400/sweetie%20belle%20that%20is%20beautiful.jpg

'Nuff said. (Though you could use a pre-reader to help with the grammar punctuation here and there. Not much , just a tad.)

I love it when I find someone writing their first fic and it's infinitely better than mine. I look forward to more. :pinkiehappy:

If you keep that up I'm going to need a replacement heart. Well done good man. :twilightsmile:

D'AAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!:twilightsmile::twilightsmile::twilightsmile::twilightsmile::twilightsmile::twilightsmile::twilightsmile:

Congrats on taking the featured box by storm!
Celestia knows, you deserve it.

Looks interesting, I will be sure to give it a look later.

Hey guys
Thanks for all the compliments. I would NEVER have thought that this story would get so much likes and that it would even be featured. (when I logged in and saw the 175 notifications, I was ... very surprised to say the least :pinkiehappy: )
Thank you for finding this work so awesome.
And don't worry: the new chapter is already in the works :ajsmug:
Again, I would like to thank WhatTheMoo for helping me out with this story. If you EVER are in need of a proofreader, I would highly recommend texting him. He's been a huge help and is very patient.
I also want to thank TwinTailsInc for allowing me to use this picture

1538542
You did notice that there also is no Celestia Tag at the moment, did you? :duck:

1539253, 1539019, 1538866, 1539165, 1538650
Thank you very much :twilightsmile:

1539195
images.sodahead.com/polls/001182477/MrBurnsEvilLaugh_answer_1_xlarge.png

1539049, 1538659
Thanks, and I will :twilightsmile:

1538750
I actually wanted to use that name, but that would mean two Twilight's and (if I'm not careful) too much confusion

It's Fantastic :pinkiehappy:

This chapter was good, nice to see Shining Armour and Cadence. Very cute couple and Twilight`s parents also interesting. Really interested in how this will develop and how you will present Twilight`s life.

I'd be angry if this DIDN'T get featured. A wonderful little fic. :twilightsmile:

Hey, something to fill the void left by Darkest Before Dawn. Cool.

With all the new stories starring Twilight's parents fim fic will need to make tags for them :heart:

how am i so good at this...I haven't even read this story yet i knew it was going to be popular, i did the same for the unexpected love life of dusk shine, dam im good, o well time to read

Well, ya' have my attention, I'll give ya' that. If this really is your first fan-fic then I'll wait to see how you work it..... is a good start.... i will track and see where this story takes me:twilightsmile:

This is just beautiful. Made me cry a little.

If I was my friend Peyton, I'd do a little fangirl squeal. :yay:

daaww this is nice and so full of feels

Daaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwww on just the picture:pinkiesad2:

anyways cute storie so far keep it up here have all the mustaches i can give:moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

OH MY GOSH I LOVE THIS! You are possibly the best writer ever!:heart::heart::heart::heart::twilightsmile::twilightsheepish::twilightoops::twilightblush::twilightangry2::facehoof:

This is your first story!!?
DAYUM . . .
Although I feel like there are some minor things that could be fixed . . .

Aw, that was sweet. And hilarious. I'll definitely be keeping an eye on this one. Good job!:twilightsmile:

This fic should end with Twilight giving birth (Circle of Life)dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Twilight_pea.png

1538542 and what are The Princesses, chopped liver?:ajbemused: I think it's only those who have appeared in the story up to this point. :twilightsmile:

Cute at its purest form

Dazzle and Orion.... Has somepony been reading "Adventures of a Teenage Foalsitter"? :scootangel:

I know that Mrs. Sparkle's canon name is Twilight Velvet (I suppose Twilight Velvet Sparkle if Velvet is her maiden name), but I'm not entirely sure about Mr. Sparkle's.... I've heard that it's Night Light Sparkle though.

But other than my theorizing on names and such, nice first chapter! :twilightsmile:

This story is absolutely ADORABLE. Lil' bebbeh Twiley is equally adorbs, especially when she nuzzled Shining Armor's face. The mental image was the cutest thing I've ever seen. :heart:

That said, A lot of people seem to think that there's an official name for Twilight's Mother, but I don't recall, ever, having the show even once say Twilight's Mother's name. If anyone can provide some proof to the contrary, I'm all ears! I mean I've heard Twilight Velvet many times in the fandom.

Okay. MAJOR problem with the title pic. Luna was still banished as Nightmare Moon when Twilight was born. You see, she.... Oh wait. That's her father.:derpyderp2:

Wonderful start!

Interesting that you made Shining Armor so much older, gotta be a 10 year or more age difference between the two of them I'm guessing, based on his interactions with Cadance.

So much sugar I think I got diabetus:fluttercry:! Oh wait someone else made that joke :pinkiegasp:. I wouldn't worry about Twilight's parent's names too much, I have heard all of them. Just so long as you and your readers understand who is who everything is a-ok.:twilightsmile:

Honey, relax. It can’t be that bad, now can it?....

...suicide for beginners XD :pinkiehappy: like it

I guess you could say this is a story about living the Twigh-life.

AHAHAHAHAHA

This is good.

Login or register to comment