• Published 16th Jul 2013
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Honoring the Sun - Ifitsleeps

After a heist gone awry and the royal crowns now out of reach, a reluctant thief is given the choice to become the personal attendant to a ruler who shines like the sun.

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Prologue: The Thief and the Sun

Honoring the Sun

By: Ifitsleeps

Prologue: The Thief and the Sun

This was supposed to be a simple job. Quick and easy.

It was promised to me that I would just have to pop into the royal palace’s quarters for a few, brief minutes; get into the imperial vault, and then out of the royal palace before anyone would find me or realize exactly what I had done and what I had taken. I would be completely home-free and rid of any of the debts that a certain someone had used to loop me into this whole ordeal. I didn’t want in, I had been dragged in.

I had the perfect plan—we had the perfect plan. We had planned everything so carefully, down to the last detail. My friends keep saying that the it was going to be such a simple heist that all of Equestria was going to be marveled at how utterly easy it was for a small group of reluctant thieves to come into the palace and make off with two of the greatest treasure in all of Canterlot—hell, some of the greatest treasure known to both human and ponykind alike!

And the entire gang, save for yours truly, was so thrilled to be on board this one-of-a-kind heist. We took weeks to prepare for this day, for that one brief window of opportunity. Food, tools, safe-houses; the whole kit and caboodle. The group was young, stupid, and pumped.

But it’s kind of funny how life decides to turn the tables on you. How quickly your decisions can go from great, creative, and brilliant to sour. All it takes is a small error in judgment, a tiny bit of greed, and then, poof! Everything goes to hell. Because, that’s what life does right? Likes to screw around with people and make them fail. Especially when in the middle of an important event.

That’s when it hits the hardest.

Like when a kid starts selling lemonade for the first time in his life. The day starts off all nice and sunny, but the, out of nowhere the day get overcast and rain starts to pour down out of nowhere. This rain ruins his supposedly great day. All he has to show for his excitement is a soaked body, a ruined jar of lemonade—which he most likely worked hard at making—and an empty pocket; well maybe save for an odd cup or two that he might have sold to some neighbors but nothing great.

Or, heck, celebrities! There’s one hell of an example!

One minute they’re in the lap of luxury and on top of the world, nearly unstoppable with all the wealth they have and the fame that protects their name. Suddenly, they’re involved in a scandal or two and that just ruins their lives, and careers, forever. No more movies, TV shows, Etc cetera, ever again.

God knows what happens to the after that. Bad careers. Fade into obscurity. That kind of thing.

Even history reveals this kind of tendency. Everyone remembers the great depression—at least they learned about it in some way or another. If not, here’s the basic break down: The U.S. was in such an economic boom and had a party mind set in the twenties, that people began to buy more things than they could afford using credit (sounds familiar? Coughcoughmoderntimescoughcough) and suddenly nobody had any money. Like, at all. And everyone—at least the majority of the working class—was now suddenly homeless. People assumed that their lives full of partying and delights were too immune to reality and the way it tends to screw people over; and in the end, they just fell into that trap all the same.

But I digress.

I mentioned this for a single simple reason. That theft that me and friends had worked hard to pull off?

Complete and utter failure.

Which was why I was being held down by two rather bulky guard ponies—both seemed to be earth ponies to boot, so those legs must have been hard as steel. Like all other guards, they were wearing gold regalia, armor that had the symbol of the sun princess.

The floor wasn’t comfortable in the slightest, lemme tell ya. It was A) hard and B) colder than a penguin’s ass in the middle of a snow storm and that couldn’t have possible been any kind of comfortable for my poor, furless, human body.

To make matters worse, I had been caught by three lovely guardsponies. The two on my back were holding me down while the third had gone off, all official-like, to inform the Pony Princess of the Sun who they had found doing what. Kind of like a kid snitching on another kid for dipping their fingers into the cookie jar. Only with something more valuable…and harsher consequences.

So, not only had my little theft gone horribly wrong, now both, as I would assume, of the princesses were being informed about the matter.

I was quite literally, royally screwed.

“Is this the man that you mentioned?”

Oh, hell.

I glanced up at the origin of the voice. I was finally feeling something other than disappointment and pensive worry flowing through my veins.

Hello, dread.

My gaze was met with a clear, wise, violet one. I swallowed. Hard. Oh, boy. This was it.

My eyes darted elsewhere to escape the stare. White fur, snowy and downy looking, adorned the pony in front of me. Actually, it was a bit of a stretch to call her a pony; this mare looked to be the size of a proper horse. But that’s just how I see it. On her back were wings, with a wing span most likely longer than my arms could stretch. They looked big enough to carry her weight and maybe a little extra. The horn on her forehead betrayed her ability to use magic and utilize spells; and if what I heard was right, those spells could be preeeeeetty devastating if she so chose them to be.

However, the thing that stood out the most about her was her mane. It seemed to flow in a breeze that didn’t seem to exist and was colored like a rainbow of pastel colors.

In short, Princess Celestia, ruler of Equestria was standing right above me as I was being held down roughly.

“Yes, your highness. This is the colt—I mean, man, that was after the royal treasures.” One of the guards holding me down replied just right when the princess finished her question. Yeesh. Almost didn’t give her a chance to finish before rushing to give an answer. Overzealous much, big guy?

The stallion was practically glowing with the fact that he had reported something to royalty. Or maybe he was just getting excited by the fact that he was finally able to do something for his noble ruler. Or maybe it was turning him on. Either he had two hooves on me or…

Whatever the case may have been, I was still sorta face on the floor, being pinned down by two, and hopefully three, solid hooves staring at the fruits of my labor, to borrow the clichéd phrase. Four sparkling tiaras were on the floor glimmering next to a simple cloth bag. The gems and gold of the tiaras twinkled gaily at me; almost like they were laughing at my misfortune.

Smug little bastards.

“Now,” I heard a gentle, yet stern voice say above me. I glanced up once more to see the princess’s snout a few inches away from my face, her eyes staring down at me gently. Like how a mother looks at the mess their two year old made before sighing and cleaning it up. “Sir human, would you kindly mind telling me what you were hoping to accomplish by stealing the royal crowns? I wish to hear what you have to say.”

I swallowed again.

Then I let out a soft groan of disappointment and plopped my face onto the floor. Great. Just great. There was an easy answer to that question. But I had an even better question.

“How the hell did I get into this mess?”