• Member Since 24th Apr, 2016
  • offline last seen Sep 2nd, 2023


I write fluff and sadness.


This story is a sequel to How to Hug a Five-Hundred-Foot Tall Dragon

It was supposed to be a routine flight over the desert, just a relaxing trip to stretch his wings out. He'd done it a thousand times before.

This time, it wasn't so routine.

Sex tag is for innuendo. No clop.

Part of the Hellpiercer 'verse, but knowledge of that story is not required. Reading the direct prequel How to Hug a Five-Hundred-Foot Tall Dragon is advisable, however.

Chapters (13)
Comments ( 731 )

“Kinda sorta?” Babs asked skeptically.
“Kinda sorta.”
“So ‘kinda sorta,’ as in not really?”
“No, ‘kinda sorta,’ as in I’m embarrassed to tell the actual truth and I want to diminish it.”
“So those ponies are kinda sorta your parents?”
“No, not ‘kinda sorta.’ There’s no need to draw attention away from that situation. They are my parents.”

Seeing the title made me think of this. Adding it to my RiL.

Flurry Heart's future aunt-in-law (if Spike is Shining's brother) is the same one who brainwashed her dad and impersonated her mother. That's some deep stuff, bruh.

For a moment, the sun fizzled out?

Its going to be a hot time in the town tonight.

Get your custom Flim flam Midnight shades, patent pending, right here, only a hundred bits. :moustache:

7247781 Hey, so's Rarity. Spike always was a cougar-chaser... Though in this case, it's more like the cougar is chasing him.

I'm just curious how Spike will keep Celly from murdering his new bride.

:twilightoops: YOU RAISED FROM THE DEAD!
:raritycry:HE'S MARRYING A BUG! He's my Spikey Wikey!
:twilightsmile: But you're sorta dead and smelly
:duck: I'm a fabulous zombie dear Twilight and Spike loves how I smell even my own garbage!:facehoof:

I liked the first one and I think I'm going to love this one.

Please, continue.

Hope this continues, I'd love to see how it a\\ pans out

Quick question: about how old is Spike right now? Or, more to the point, how long after the series are these events taking place? Are the rest of the Mane 6 still alive?

7247905 The rest of the Mane 6 is... somewhat dead. Being Elements of Harmony makes things a bit different for them, as will be revealed in upcoming chapters.


At least several centuries, according to a line in one of the earlier stories.


That answer was considerably more interesting than I expected. Thank you. :twilightsmile:

Comment posted by StarTrotter deleted May 26th, 2016

Damn it Celly, lay off the sweets! You're immortal and have all the time to do so, you have no excuse!

Ever pregnant? Then Celestia will get a lot of grandfoals? xD

Figures that when Celestia hears wedding, her first thought is wedding cake. :trollestia: So Celestia thinks of herself as Spike's mother? Wasn't sure in the previous story whether Twilight counted as Spike's big sister or mother, though something in between is probably the most accurate. And yeah, Twilight is never going to have foals, not with how crazy she is.

Really happy there's already a sequel, and looking forward to more details of just how Spike ended up king of the changelings. I was wondering if it was Chyrsalis or if there was another changeling group out there, but guess this settles that questions. Man, that is going to be one crazy family tree. And hopefully Twilight won't break too many things when she wakes up while still dragon size.

Snrk, okay, that was great. Interesting verse, too.

... Calling Celestia Sunbutt or Sunflanks would be needlessly cruel.

Damn, Spike is one lucky dragon.

... That final reaction. You can just hear the Gears in Celestia's mind snapping.

Many more chapters are required.



Love the cover art.

Spike never did write much lately, or send telegrams, or even pop on that newfangled contraption—what was it called? Tuberphone? Telephone?

I really enjoy the way you make all the princesses sound like old farts.

Celestia, you're going to have lots and lots of "grandfoals." :rainbowlaugh:

I was a little concerned when going over the opening-not as smooth as it could have been, but then you come out with that ending line.

This is going to be good.

7248634 I agree wholeheartedly!

MOAR NAO!!! :flutterrage::pinkiecrazy::moustache:


I can kinda understand how the 'ever-pregnant' can be a complementary title to a changeling, but Royal Protuberance just makes me think of a lump on a log wearing a crown.

7248664 Hey, don't call the princesses "old farts" or you'll be banished to you-know-where.

First off, LOVE ALL OF THIS!:pinkiehappy:
Second, for all those who don't seem to get it, 5 of the main 6 are dead from age. At least that's what I gathered.

And third, this is going to be so such FUN!:moustache:

7248970 She's more like an ugly wart that sticks out of one's nose. :trollestia:

Also... cherngelnerngs...

7247836 Spike ate Rarity alive to keep her with him forever... Obsessive predator logic works that way. :pinkiecrazy:

7249378 :trollestia: Oh but that too will pass'

:moustache: Chrissy who is it today?

Take your pick dear....

:moustache:You're never yourself aren't you...?
:eeyup: Eenope!

7249422 You left out Spike's favorite, :derpytongue2:

:moustache: Another muffin, dear?
:derpyderp2::derpyderp1::derpytongue2: I want to suck your love juices.
:moustache: Yes, yes. Marvelous.

This was so funny.

Celestia is a little more off in this than the others were in theirs, but I like her.

Also, ever-pregnant is one of the oddest titles I've ever seen, even if it makes sense for an insectoid queen.

7249461 If Chrissy became the 'other hag':pinkiesick: he'd need a dust pan for his naughty bits and a broom to make her get away!:raritystarry::twilightoops:


Also, ever-pregnant is one of the oddest titles I've ever seen, even if it makes sense for an insectoid queen.

"Protuberance" struck me as weirder. That's the kind of malapropism most stories would use to indicate that the speaker doesn't know what they're talking about. I'm not really sure how to take it in context here.

7249530 Going by the first definition I found, " a usually rounded part that sticks out from a surface" it makes sense, if you go either by changelings being kinda something with rounded sticking out bits or the "ever-pregnant" bit. You know, a swelling, like a belly.

Both are weird, but funny, to me.

Shit, man.

I will smuggle your computer, if you don't write more.

Well, this is getting good.

Can't wait for the next chapter.

Although...Chrysalis not knowing males don't have udders seems a tad bit ridiculous. She's a very old changeling queen. I could see a fairly young changeling not knowing this, I could even see a middle aged changeling not knowing this given the proper conditions, but a centuries old queen? It has to have come up at some point.

7249648 There's actually a good reason for that, which becomes relevant to the plot in future chapters. It's also hinted at in this chapter.

The others huddled together, clicking and chirping. One of them scratched notes before they turned back. “Yes. Res-taur-ant. That is the correct term, which we knew beforehand and in no way have written down on flashcards for future review.”

“Yeah. Okay, then. Storm’s about to clear, so I’ll take you back to your hive once it’s over.”

They clicked. “Hive? Whatever do you mean, O Scaled One? We are but humble ponies…”

“You guys forgot your disguises. You’re literally just standing around with bug wings and bug eyes.” He didn’t have the heart to tell them that one of them was also still wearing his Hive 453 Reunion t-shirt.

I've said it before, I'll say it again: Changelings are really, really awful at their job.

7249676 Actually, most of them are great at it, you just only notice the bad ones. And these bugs are really, really, really bad at it.

God! XD HAHAHAHAHHAHA!! This is so funny XD poor changelings their stupidly adorable XD

Yeah, but that's much less funny.

:twilightsmile: For science!
:moustache:Yeah science big deal
:twilightoops: then what if not science?
:moustache: buggy sex?
:raritystarry: creepy and kinky I like it... :facehoof:
:ajsmug: ain't his first rodeo
:rainbowlaugh: awesome stuff
:pinkiehappy: popped balloons
:yay: like bunnies
:twilightoops: my Spike?
:duck: Our little Spikey Wikey
:trollestia: that's my boy!:facehoof:

Celestia may need reading glasses, but I'm getting the impression Chrysalis's vision isn't so good either...

You know, I'm not super huge on Changelings. Just not interested in them. But for some reason, Changelings that know almost nothing about the world around them tickles me pink. I don't even care how much or little sense it makes. I'm sold on this story. :pinkiehappy:

A fully grown Spike and Chrysalis? That's a, heh, stretch.

*snort* Sorry, but the pun practically begged to be made.

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