• Member Since 24th Apr, 2016
  • offline last seen Sep 2nd, 2023


I write fluff and sadness.



Ponies like snuggles. Spike likes to give snuggles. But Spike is a five-hundred-foot tall dragon, and finds it difficult to give snuggles without accidentally popping the pony like an overripe tomato in a hydraulic press. Spike believes he has found a solution.

Part of the Hellpiercer 'verse, but knowledge of that story is not required.

Reviewed by TitaniumDragon!
Art by Harwick.
Featured on Equestria Daily and Fimfiction.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 107 )

“So, not the best birthday present ever?”:facehoof:

I gotta admit I was hoping he would shrink down so she could pick him up and cuddle him

7242263 Well, after Twilight's massive posterior destroyed that diamond, Spike wished he'd done that, too.

7242262 :moustache: Wait till I tell you about the bachelor party.

7242279 I would love a 2nd chapter like that :3 it would be so adorable!

7242299 There is a planned sequel!

7242328 Yay! This had a great mix of humor and feels. Definitely worth a like!

Spike cringed as her massively-expanded rump smashed a priceless gemstone to dust.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

But seriously, this was funny and adorable. Great job, author. :ajsmug:

7243118 (☞゚∀゚)☞

Amazing, Spike is the best dragon ever. XD

7243266 :moustache: "Yes, yes I am."

So about that marriage...sequel? Great story though. Keep it up. :pinkiesmile:

:derpytongue2:Snuggle MUFFINS!

Oh my gosh, that ending was a huge serving of chocolate ice-cream after a mouthwatering pepperoni pizza.

7244417 Spike actually prefers pepperoni ice cream and chocolate pizza. He has... unusual tastes.

7244344 Next story: How to Hug a Five-Hundred-Foot Tall Derpy :derpytongue2:

7244479 :trollestia: My castle ? A Muffin?
:duck:My Spikey has the most adorable chubby wubby cheeks and that waddles to die for, Wooo wooo wooo!

:facehoof: One snuggle and every pony wants in on the goodies!

This marriage thing has to be a Noodle Incident. So sweet what Spike did to give her a hug.

7244643 There were noodles involved, and they went in... interesting places.

Twilight never really knew how to qualify their relationship

I think that in this usage it would be 'quantify.' Good fic, anyway.

Aw, that is adorable... and hilarious. :twilightsmile: :rainbowlaugh: And all hail King Spike! :moustache: (This site needs more Spike emojis). Great story, really sweet and heartwarming. Wonder what other things Spike gets up to when he's out and about. Figures Twilight would have a stress-induced heart attack. Though with grown-up Spike around, not like Equestria would need much of an army. Now to go read that other story.

I think this goes next to Shining Armours wedding invitation. :twilightoops:

If you swallow ponies whole, you can hug them with your innards!

*Most dragons employ this method...* :fluttershbad:


Please no one write a story on this! :twilightoops:


*It goes on Alondro'sto-do list... where it languishes with the rest for 5 million years...* :facehoof:

7242289 Well, I'd love to see some more detail about those last few sentences. Funny what a few random sounding lines can make you think.

Seriously though, this story was cute on it's own. Deserves a like.

Spike is important to someone, and is deserving of a hug? Where's the comedy tag?

7244477 Then we would likely get along well in the kitchen, both of those sound incredibly appealing. Though I doubt I could match his portions.

Adorable, far too adorable for proper description. I bust out laughing a couple times. Seriously Spike, that is not how you drop the marriage bombshell on one of your primary guardian figures.

Sequel! SEQUEL DAMN IT!:flutterrage:
Or at least a story about, Spike and the changelings, marriage/meeting. Please!:pinkiehappy:

Great story! Love the feels and comedy. And who doesn't like a big hug from a loved one.
I know I do!:moustache::twilightsmile:

For a second I thought the "crushed ants"-smelling goop was made FROM Changelings Spike had squished. :rainbowderp:
Thanks for NOT going there, heh.

7246546 Yep, the goo just contains the natural secretions and bodily fluids of the changelings, kindly donated/vomited up for Spike's use by his... acquaintances in the Hive. So, totally not gross. Just a bunch of bug puke.

7246609 Still better than being the gore of his victims, though.

This was brilliant. Funny, heartwarming and the characters seem mostly like themselves, with maybe a bit of change that makes sense because of their age.

The descriptions of Spike's unintentional earthshakings are hilarious, but I must admit, my favorite part was Twilight being adorably worried and offhandedly mentioning that she mobilized legions. Seems she grew into power after all, but still remained the adorable pony we know and love. Though with Spike being an army in itself, it makes sense that legions would be mobilized if Twilight thought he was in trouble.

Great work. Really like it.

7246863 Thanks! I tried to balance the comedy with keeping everypony in-character. Twilight may be an immortal demigoddess with armies at her beck and call, but she's still Twilight, and if you told her to take a test she hadn't studied for, she'd go totally insane.

7247000 I meant the bit of changes as a compliment, that they felt naturally different, because of time that had passed. Just so we're clear.

7247006 Oh, I got that, no problem! We're as clear as a discontinued line of Pepsi sold in Mexico starting in 2005!

7247014 You make some strange similes. But they certainly fit your profile picture.

That was adorable, and an excellent illustration of the enduring relationship between these two. Wonderful job! And a nice cover image too. ;)

7247255 Unfortunately, I cannot take credit for the cover image, since I have the approximate artistic skills of a damp asparagus!

So Spike is king/prince of the Changelings, AND he's married?

Whichever Changeling he wedded may as well get their funeral service booked in advance if the two of them ever try to...you know...bow chika wow wow. Although in this case it'd be more like bow chika OW OW OH MY GOD I'M BEING CRUSHED BY A 50FT MALE APPENDAGE OH FOR THE LOV E OF GOD WHY!?!

Great story though. I'll give it a Like. Purely because I get a laugh out of Spike being too dumb to consider shrinking himself instead and enlarging Twilight. Plus the little tid-bits of humor work well here. Nicely done.

7246399 Chapter 1 of the sequel is posted!

7247399 Well given that there's not many OC changeling queens it'll be Chrysalis funeral in case of doing the fork in the garbage disposal


7247626 Read "Hellpiercer", then this, and now that MORE!:flutterrage:

Oh, come on. If Donkey from Shrek can do it, so can Rarity and Spike.

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