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She saw her, tumbling to earth. She heard the crack of horn on stone. She listened to the staccato beeps of hospital monitors. When will she wake up? Will she wake up? Will she ever forgive Rainbow for failing?
Comments contain abundant spoilers.
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This is an interesting start. Added to my tracking shelf, up voted.
Ok. Another of the type of story I remember from the old days. I love these.
I think your writing style is quite good and I'm drawn in. My only regret is that there is only this one chapter so far. I'm going to subscribe to this story and hope that you keep working on it!
I was a little confused/jarred by the transition from escape and crash to hospital. Seemed a little abrupt. I know there's no reason to dwell on it but I'd think a few more sentences would help.
Do you know where you're going with this story? Ok. Here's an idea: How does this affect Celestia's plans to make Twi into an alicorn? How does it go... Can she even do magic anymore? Does the process not fix old injuries so she's a gimpy alicorn forever? Does it still happen but she cant do the job Celestia had planned? Or does the horn damage cause her magic to warp in an interesting way?
Omg. I want more plz!!
7244821 Soon! Very soon!
7244828 got me in the feels man. THE FEELS!!
HOLD UP! WHAT?!
Oh and great story can't wait for the next update
Ooh, now that's a harsh one.
Omg I love this so much! Can't wait for more!
Good old gallow's humor. Even pretty purple proto-princesses can't resist its sweet siren call.
Really hoping that her horn will grow back. Not sure what premise is being used here but I know in the show they keep growing. Rarity's horn being filed in the spa shows that.
7267310 The impact damaged the very base of Twilight's horn (if you didn't notice, the weird liquid leaking out was cerebrospinal fluid), and since that's injured, it can't grow back normally.
One might wonder if Celestia is about to appear in Ponyville. Spike sent her a message one assumes!
You know, the truth is she shouldn't get too down. Its like a rich person losing their money but remaining healthy. So she's like the rest of us now eh? She's an earth pony that has had some amazing life experiences. She'll enjoy her new job as a janitor at the Library that Celestia's new student lives in. Its not so bad being like the working class-- She'll have time to find her special somepony and have kids and worry about rent and the cost of grass these days... End up getting divorced and trying to get the attention of another stallion, but having a hard time finding one thats in to older hornless unicorn single moms. And she's still got friends. One of them produces booze and may have a little pot garden hidden out in the Everfree. One is rather generous and can be counted on when things get tight. And one is a good babysitter-- Wait, 2 of them! One is in the asylum, but we don't talk about her much.
7267782 Wow. Sounds like you need to write a story of your own!
Spotted a typo:
7271509 Dagnabbit, I thought I was perfect. Fixed it, thanks!
7271536 No problem! Anything to help out.
7267362 That I figured. Key word there, normally. Something tells me RD is going to be on a quest to find something to restore her horn.
A really great story man. And the feels..
Made me do a little something (Its horrible tho)
i.imgur.com/vJoVF6mm.jpg
Can't wait for the next chapter!
7306545 Hey, this is the first piece of fan-art based on my stories! (which makes it fan art based on fan fiction, so... fanception?) Fantastic!
Sneaky. I thought that was kind of out of character, but I actually didn't pick up on it being a nightmare until nearly the end.
creepy as f*^%
While Twilight keeps worrying about writing Celestia I'd be surprised if she doesn't already know
RD's nightmare. Caught that about half way through the chapter.
Damn! I only realised that it was a nightmare when the blood started moving UP her face
Molehill.
Ohhhh! That was quite the plot twist!