• Member Since 19th Dec, 2011
  • offline last seen Dec 27th, 2019



The diamond dogs are back and ready for revenge. When Rarity is kidnapped in the dead of night, Spike is the only one who can save her. Should be easy, right? Storm the castle, vanquish the villains, rescue the damsel, win her heart! But nothing is as simple as it sounds, and what should have been a simple plan spirals completely out of control. In the end, the gods themselves will enter the fray to set things right.

Whoever said true love was easy?

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 55 )

I lol'd. Sweetie Belle is adorably clueless. Fave for the lols and for future shippy goodness!

Oh, and because it's Crosis. :ajsmug:

My mouth hurt from smiling too much.:rainbowlaugh::pinkiehappy: This story gets a fav.:moustache:

Wow, absconding to the boudoir with Spike was in Rarity's diary? I can tell this is going to get silly.

Wow. Sweetie Belle really didn't react to Rarity being kidnapped. She acted like it was a normal thing. This is gonna be a funny story.

I can see no possible way this could ever end in shenanigans. Really. None at all.:scootangel:

Oh, hey, a Spike fic. And one that makes him look like less of a bastard. I'm in!

May the power of The Descendant grace this story with awesomeness.

How are you gentlemen?  All your mares are belong to us.  You are on the way to destruction!”

That cinched it; instant fave, :rainbowlaugh:


It's definitely my favorite part.

This was pure, epic, win. You totally got me and i can't wait to see more.

I want to see more fics with this Sweetie Belle now, urmurgurd hilarious. :rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

Same ol Crosis humor I'm happy to see. The dialogue here was tooo darn good, and I had to do a double-take at some of those lines. The 'Bad Dudes" reference was especially amazing.:moustache: Certainly going to be keeping my eye on this one.

This is hilarious so far! I'm glad to comedy started when it did, otherwise this would've have felt pretty dark for all the detail that went into Rarity's capture. The silliness of this is very funny while still feeling believable, like it could happen in an episode. Looking forward to more!

No plan survives first contact with the enemy... and oh how whatever Rarity had planned just crumbled into nothingness.

Okay, didn't see that coming. Though I have to wonder what is the point of all this?

Doesn't Equestria have police or something? It would be pretty badass if there was like a pony FBI or something.

This is shaping up to a be a glorious mess of hilarity :rainbowlaugh:
Mystery, Misunderstandings and Mayhem, I Love It :pinkiehappy:

Hmmm, I never reckoned Spike to be Celestia's son. Intriguining. Great chapter, and an interesting plot twist.

I decree that this cannot go wrong!

So the real question is: Does Rarity have a surreptitious purpose for all those ransom gems, or does she just have some weird fetishes? :twilightoops:

I honestly can't wait for the next chapter. What's next, what's next?

Wow. Just just...wow. Funy it is.What will Luna's involvement do to Rarity'r plan?

Damn, Luna. You scary!!! :rainbowderp:

No, Rarity! What have you done?! :pinkiegasp:

My madness aside, this was a great chapter. I highly enjoyed that! ::twilightsheepish:

Put this aside in my read later list a while ago, and finally got around to it today.

And we're on to a winner already. I like where this is going!

Also bonus points for the implied entries in Rarity's diary entry, because this can only lead to hilarity.

Wait, wait, wait.... Rarity organised her own kidnapping?!

Oh my. I see what's she's up too...


I REALLY like where this is going!

The best laid plans of mice and mares...

Go completely tits-up.

I really love how all this nonsense is just snowballing into a bigger and even bigger disaster. Rares have lot to explain at the end of this.

Once again, the bureaucracy makes everything worse, yay :yay:

So this was more or less a set up by Rarity to make what I guess is a romantic and dramatic moment between her and Spike?:rainbowhuh: There are easier ways of doing this Rarity.:facehoof: Oh well, might as well sit back and watch the shit fly.:pinkiecrazy:

Sweetie Belle just burned the Diamond Dogs that's a triple threat burn.
Sappy? This coming from the squeaky voice unicorn who the CMC use a love poison on AB's big brother and their teacher? Excuse me.

There's about to be an unscheduled ass kicking coming up sooner than later.

Never say 'What could possibly go wrong' or anything that's related.

Discord would be proud of Twilight at this.....:facehoof::facehoof::facehoof:

Ten seconds later, Discord breaks out and is later seen hovering over the entire mess with a video camera in one hand and a bag of popcorn in the other.

Code Brown! The manure has struck the turbine! Repeat: the manure has struck the turbine!

“Quickly, my dear! Fly to Canterlot as fast as your wings can take you. Tell Princess Celestia that she is our only hope! We’re outnumbered, surrounded, barely holding our ground in the face of insurmountable odds!”

Oh dear Lord, i died. :rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

Damn good show. See yo next year and i'll look forward to more.

Well...that excelated quickly. who wants popcorn?

Of course, the only thing that could make this worse is if Luna were to pop up next.

"Where are we going, and why are we in this handbasket?" :twilightoops:

I'm just waiting for them to break into that one song from Beauty and the Beast...


Mayor Mare: The beasts will make off with your children!
Crowd: *gasp*
Mayor Mare: They'll come after them in the night!
Twilight: NO!
Mayor Mare: We're not safe until their heads are mounted on the town hall walls! I SAY WE KILL THE BEASTS!!
*marches towards diamond dog mound with torches and pitchforks*

And Rarity's plan to have Spike 'rescue' her is quickly going down the toilet.


The thing is, this could go bad in so many ways, it's not even funny, and could lead to an actual slaughter of the dogs just because they're idiots and Rarity's got too much time on her hooves.

3677163 If you ask me, they should put dead author's fics up for auction after a certain time frame. :facehoof::twilightsheepish:

4951344 I know, this author is dead and with him a lot of great stories including this one and Alduin Unbound.:fluttercry: They should have someone to continue this and all the other forgotten fics!:flutterrage: ...Huh...:trixieshiftright: Say, do you want to start a group were we can find people to start all the great abandon fics on this site together?:pinkiehappy:

4953089 I'll get it up and running and you'll be my second in command.

4953193 Sounds good. I'll put the word out to my followers and such when it's up so they can find any dead fics they know of. :moustache:

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