The Daily Show presents: Equestrian Interviews

by Daily Show Ponies

Episode 15 [Luna]: Going up

One thing that Jon always noted about buildings in Equestria is they were very close together and claustrophobic, something he was used to since he lived in New York. He always just assumed it was because ponies were so much smaller than he was, so it just looked compact to him, but as he walked down one of the many hallways of Canterlot castle, he now found himself having to call that into question. The interior he currently occupied was very spacious in terms of height. Unknown to Jon at the time, this design was quite common in state buildings to let Pegasi fly during rush hours.

Luckily enough for him, and despite the maximum amount of space, there wasn’t a soul in sight, so he didn’t have to worry about getting caught. Though that didn’t stop him from looking around constantly to make sure he didn’t get flanked. He thought for sure that, if he was spotted, he’d be sent back to his room, so he didn’t want to take any chances. It was for this reason why he didn’t seek out anyone for help in getting where he wanted to go. He may not have known exactly where he was going, but he wasn’t lost either, strictly speaking. If Canterlot Castle was anything like in the stories he read to his children and were read to him by his mother when he was a kid, the place he was looking for was at the highest point in the castle.

The hallway he currently struggled to maneuver through was brilliantly laid out by keen architectural eyes. The cold, hard ground was made more inviting by a red and golden carpet that seemed to have no end. The walls were bright white with many hoof-painted portraits decorating it’s face which couldn’t be seen at night because a small curtain would cover them. The right side of the walls had none of these pictures or indeed any kind of fixtures or doors, only a liberal amount of windows that, at most times, bathed the area in natural sunlight. Along the walls of the castle, underneath the portraits were many chairs and benches that looked inviting

Jon barely noticed any of these things, nor did he have any use for them. All he did was concentrate on finding his way to his objective location. He powered through each step while his body constantly reminded him of his own fragility.

Eventually, Jon made it towards the end of the hallways into a new section of the castle. Ahead of him was another stretch of hallways almost identical to the one he just left while, to his right, he saw an open area that resembled a ballroom. It was large and round with many statues decorating the borders. From where he stood, he saw that in between each statue was a entrance to another part of a castle, like a track switch on a railroad depot. For all he knew, each door could have lead to any number of locations, from a pantry to an old broom closet, but that’s not what Jon had his eye on the most.

In the very center of this new room was a set of stairs that split into two equal parts, only to meet up again and lead downwards to a lower level of the castle. There were two other intertwining staircases that did the same, but instead went upwards to a higher level.

“Bingo.” Jon muttered under his breath. With only slightly confident steps, he began to walk towards the elegant staircase while taking deep breaths. At the point where he got close enough to where he could see his reflection off its shiny exterior, he heard a pair of voices.

“Shit!” Thought Stewart as he tried to identify where they were coming from. Unfortunately for him, due to the geometry of the room, the voices were being bounced off the walls making it impossible to know exactly where it was coming from. The best he could do under the circumstances was crouch down behind the staircase and hope that whoever was in the room didn’t see him.

Luck decided to give him a break in the form of two unicorns gabbing at one another on the other side of the staircase. They were so distracted with their gossiping that, even if they were on Jon’s side of the room, they probably wouldn't notice him.

“Did you hear about what happened?” The silver haired mare asked. “Chrysalis attacked that Human on TV, and almost killed him!”

“I know!” Declared a light blue and brown stallion. “But I also saw them carrying in a blue unicorn.”

“Oh yeah, I’m not sure who that was, but I hear she was staying with him back in his world.” She commented.

“No way!” He exclaimed

“I’m serious! She looked to be in pretty bad shape when they dragged her in.” She pointed out. “I heard that she might not make it.”

With clenched fists and pursed lips, Jon did everything he could not to say anything and give away his position. It wasn’t until the voices started to become less audible, as they walked down some adjacent hallway, did he make his move again. Flying around the front of the stairs, he began to ascend the stairway, hoping that he was going the right way.

When he looked over the railing towards the bottom levels, he could see some activity, usually just a servant or two doing their jobs. When he climbed higher, he could hear doors opening and more voices from the level he had just left. Almost as if they were just waiting for him to leave before appearing.

The stairway led Jon through a variety of different levels of the castle, and only every once in awhile did he find himself stopping or ducking behind the railing because there was someone in the area. The higher he climbed, the less this seemed to happen which, to Jon, meant he was heading in the right direction. Eventually, he reached as far the the staircase would permit him to, which was an area of the castle that looked vaguely familiar.

His legs were aching from his knees down to the balls of his feet, but he willed himself through the pain and into the new area. One thing that struck him about the new environment was the lack any guards. In fact, he now realized how odd it was that he hadn’t seen any aside from Flint and Tinder. This was because most, if not all, royal guards were out looking for Chrysalis in the statewide pony hunt.

Jon didn’t know this of course, but he was nevertheless grateful for the fact because it meant he could continue uninterrupted. This new location had two short corridors on either side of him and another stretch of hallway just ahead. Jon had no idea which way to go so, to help himself out, he leaned against a nearby wall to take a quick break.

His body was still aching, not just from the long hike up the stairs, but from the entire ordeal he had just went through. Going up against Queen Chrysalis and surviving was a miracle in itself, but he hated feeling so fragile. He never complained about it though, for all the pains and heartaches that he was dealing with, he knew he had it good compared to other people. The image of Trixie laying in her bed with tubes up her nose motivated Jon to hoist himself up and take stock.

“Alright!” Jon said aloud. “Where to go?”

At this point, it was almost a coin toss as to where he should navigate himself next, but when he turned around to get his bearings, he noticed something jutting out from up high. Just above the wall which he had used previously as a support was a sign which had different arrows pointing in different directions. One arrow pointed down and read “Stairway” while another one pointed ahead and read “Main throne room.” This pattern repeated revealing which new direction led to where.

“Oh.” Jon said. “That was... easy.”

He continued to read each plaque until he had the information he needed. Turning to his right, he began to advance as quickly as he could which, given his age and condition, meant that he was walking steadily.

The corridor was long and narrow, but even he could see the giant door at the end which looked to be made of only the finest material. Jon ignored the tasteful artwork that hung from the walls and the suits of armor that decorated the way. All he cared about was getting to that door, which he eventually did.

Jon was now standing in front of the massive entryway, and before knocking or trying to open it, his eyes were drawn to a symbol that was carved into both doors and painted in. When he looked at it, his suspicions that he had found his destination were now confirmed.

“A crescent moon.” Jon sighed. “This has to be the place.”

Comments

[ClosetKnight]

except she was dark and she spoke like she had a megaphone stuck in her throat

fanart stat!!!