The Daily Show presents: Equestrian Interviews

by Daily Show Ponies

Episode 16 [Changeling]: Bring me the DJ

With feet on a large briefcase that Celestia sent to him and back arched to it’s limit, Jon was not comfortably sitting in his chair while simultaneously fanning himself with his newly delivered letter. For this was a very interesting predicament. He had long since lost count of how many times he’d gotten letters from ponies from Equestria, but it wasn’t everyday that he got a telegram from someone who had already been on his show... except of course for Rainbow Dash; she couldn't wait to get another interview.

Though Jon very much doubted that either Octavia or her mate Vinyl Scratch were wanting to come back to New York any time soon. From what he understood their schedules were hectic as it is. For all Jon knew, this was just them wishing him the best of luck during hard times like all the rest, but if that were the case, why did Spike send the letter to him when he specifically told him not to?

Whatever the reason, it seemed that it was important enough for Spike to deliberately disobey him. When Jon was through thinking about every possible explanation he decided to take the next logical step by carefully opening the letter and taking out a few pieces of paper. Jon was no detective but still, even though it said “From Octavia and Vinyl Scratch” he could tell just by the language who had written it.

HEY HEY HEY JOHNNY-BOY! WHAT IS UP!?

Listen, I heard about what happened to ya in your own place... Man that sucks! I’m writing because BAM I got something that’ll sure to cheer you up! As it just so happens I know a pony who would be perfect for your show! Spike here tells me you don’t like people suggesting guests for your show and blah blah blah what does he know, right?

But anyway you know how me and Octy went to music school together? Sure ya do! Well when we were upperclass-mares there was this one kid in the same department as me who was transferred to our school. We made friends with him after he helped me defend Octy from some bullies, and you know me... anypony who helps my baby is a friend of mine!

His name is DJ Pygmalion so yeah we had a lot in common since we were both knew how to work the turntables. He’s pretty good but he ain’t as good as me... obviously. Well wouldn't you know this hoof-head doesn’t say “what’s up” since like forever and aaaaaall of a sudden he appears on our pad asking for favors! Yeah you bet I gave him a good punch in arm and a noogie for old times sake!

He looks good for someone his age... I mean we’re still pretty young, but dang he looks like he hasn’t aged since I last saw him. If I wasn’t already taken I might’ve considered asking him out. I mean don’t get me wrong I love Octy to death, but I’ve never done it with a Unicorn before... I've always wanted to know what a horn would feel like on me for a change.

What was I talking about? OH RIGHT, Pygmalion. So anyways this dude is practically on his knees begging me and Octy to ask if you can have him on your show. You don’t know him like we do so trust me when I say this is frickin’ weird! Back in the dorms he never asked for a single favor... which is kinda also why I liked him... but yeah he wouldn’t leave till we agreed to ask ya.

But you know what?... He’s a good friend and I say why not! He did help me out a few times back in the day like this time me and Octy were out past curfew and he managed to convince the dean that I was in my room the entire time... don’t know how he even managed to pull that off since he inspected our rooms. So whad’ya say Johnny my man... could you pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase have him on your show... or else... nah I’m just joking!... but seriously or else!

- Love, DJ Pon3

“Is this girl serious?” Jon thought to himself. As much as he liked Vinyl as a friend, he found it rather insulting that she would even ask him for a favor regarding the show after all that had happened to him. He would have tossed the note away or disposed it in a similar fashion as it was delivered but underneath it was another section of writing.

PS: Let me just start by saying that I apologize for Vinyl’s uncouth behavior and unsympathetic disposition, it’s just the way she is. Also my condolences to you... I can’t imagine what you must be going through.

Now then what my lovely companion said... for the most part is true. Our dear friend Pygmalion did arrive at our doorstep asking for assistance. He expressed great interest in being on our show with a level of vigor I’ve never seen before... I dare say I’ve never seen him act like this.

Now obviously you are not required nor expected to do us any kind of favor, and I feel that you would be well within your right to ignore our request. Having said that, I did promise Pygmalion that I would at least attempt to convince you so for now just here me out.

From a purely practical point of view I am given to believe that with Trixie’s interview being aired you are in need of a pony to act as a backup in case of emergencies. I’m sure you’ve undoubtedly figured out where I’m going with this. If you agree to interview Pygmalion you’d have some security in case of well... in case something like this happens again.

I won’t push the subject anymore than what has been said so I’ll end this by saying if you did do this for us we would be in your debt. And you could certainly do worse than Pygmalion.

Hope you feel better soon.

-Octavia

PPS: Sorry I sent this letter! Vinyl got me in an arm lock and wouldn’t let go till I agreed to do it!

-Spike

PPPPPPPPPS: Spike is a dirty liar! Also, or else.

-DJ Pon3

Even when they were separated by an entire realm of existence, Vinyl still found a way to give Jon a headache. Though he had to admit that her better half did have a good point. With his one and only backup log of a pony interview having been used recently, Jon was in the market for another emergency fallback tapping in case of emergency.

The problem he always had with this system was having someone not interesting enough to air live, but just interesting enough to save for later. Since this DJ Pygmalion was a virtual unknown to Jon meant he was the perfect contender for this project.

At first Jon didn’t like the idea of replacing what was once Trixie’s old spot as “backup pony”, but emotions aside, Jon still has a show to run. And the musical couple weren’t the only ones pushing Jon with this idea... his bosses from upstairs had a similar idea in mind ever since the incident. Jon still didn’t like the idea of having people trying to do his job for him, but at this point in time, he really didn’t care.

“Why not.” Jon sighed as he reached for his phone. “What’s the worse that can happen.”

A few button presses later the phone connected with his business partner from across worlds. He wasn’t expected to call Celestia today so she was just as surprised to hear from him as he was to be calling her.

“Why hello Jon!” She said immediately only to recoil her voice as if doing so was disrespectful. “I... I wasn’t expecting to hear from you today... How are you feeling?”

“Just fine.” He muttered as he rubbed his hand over his face. “Just... fine. Listen I need to talk to you about something.”

“Is it about the set I requested?” She asked “Because if you want it back after all, I can send it to you along with the equipment.”

“No, no, no it’s not that.” Jon assured her. “It’s actually about my show right now... I need you to send someone to me to be interviewed.”

“Goodness... so soon?” She said. “I thought for sure you’d stagger this out... but then again it is your show. So... who is the lucky pony?”

Before answering Jon picked up the note he has previously read to look back at the name of the mysterious new DJ who’s name he had already forgotten.

“Have you ever heard of... DJ Pygmalion” He asked.

“I... can’t say I have.” She answered.

“Me neither.” Jon admitted. “That’s why I want him on my show.”

Comments

[Frission]

*gives Jon a hug*