//------------------------------//
// Intro: The letter 
// Story: The Daily Show presents:  Equestrian Interviews 
// by Daily Show Ponies 
//------------------------------//



	

It had been a long month and the week-long break didn't help much. All in all, Jon Stewart felt like he was at his wits end. Recently officials from Comedy Central studio informed Jon that his show wasn't doing so well in the ratings. In truth, it wasn't doing that bad, just not as well as they had projected, which meant that it was up to Jon to think of some new ways to attract more viewers.

There were some ideas thrown around the studio in the past couple weeks, but nothing excited the hard-to-please executives calling the shots from behind the scenes. Although it was never openly discussed, Jon feared that his show might be cancelled unless some changes were done and fast. The studio had given him a week long break, as they usually do every now and again, but this time they expected him to use this mini-vacation to come up with some new ideas.

It was now Sunday night, he was scheduled to go on the air again the next morning, and he had... nothing.

As Jon entered the study of his house, he wondered what he was going to tell his bosses tomorrow morning or, for that matter, what he would tell his faithful cast and crew if his worse case scenario came true. As he pondered this, Jon noticed something sitting on his desk that hadn't previously been there. At first glance, it looked to be one of his discarded notes of ideas, but as he got closer, he realized it was actually some kind of rolled up, sealed letter.

This confused Jon as he had never seen it before nor should he have any new mail on a Sunday. But what confused him even more was the fact that it didn't look like an average letter. It wasn't a properly sealed envelope with a U.S. stamp, but instead it seemed to be a rolled up parchment wrapped with some kind of official seal holding it all together.

Jon broke the seal and opened his newly acquired mystery letter which was comprised of six pages. The first page was a letter addressed to Jon himself and the other five pages were lists of what seemed to be names.

Putting on his reading glasses, Jon wondered where it came from and how it got on his desk, thinking that it might be a clever game invented by his son to cheer daddy up. As Jon took the first page and began to read it he was certain that, yes, this had to be the case. Based on the contents of the letter, it had to have been dreamt up by a child.

Jon placed the list of names on his desk and turned his attention again to the letter which read:





Dear Mr. Stewart:

Greetings. My name is Princess Celestia, ruler of Equestria, and I am writing to let you know that I wish to assist you in your time of need. It has come to my understanding that you are in some trouble involving your program 'The Daily Show' and, while I'm afraid I'm not as well versed in the art of comedy such as yourself, I do have access to a wide range of acquaintances who I'm sure could be of great assistance to you.

Attached to this letter is a list of names. All you need to do is pick any name from this list and, assuming they'll cooperate, I'll see to it that they appear on your show. I'm certain an interview with any given one of them will help you immensely while, at the same time, proving to be beneficial to them as well.

If you have any more questions regarding any of this or wish to select a name from the aforementioned list, please contact me at (1027)-1059-02861.

Thank you in advance; I hope to hear from you soon.

-Princess Celestia






"What the hell kind of prank is this?" Jon thought to himself as he read over the letter again.

The more he thought about it, the more he concluded this couldn't have been his son's doing. The handwriting, though nothing to be impressed by, was far too neat to be his son's. Also, the way the note was worded was much too elegant to have been written by a child, almost as if it really was from someone of royalty.

Jon, at this point fully ready to go to sleep, reached for the list of many names, glancing over them while occasionally stopping to read one or two.

Berry Punch, Bon-Bon, Octavia, Shining Armor, Trixie, Zecora, Gilda...

The list went on and on and began to resemble less like a list of names and more like a list of failed candy names.

Some names, however, were in bold and were located at the very top of the list which, Jon could only guess, meant they were important people. These bolded names included such colorful sounding folks like: Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, even the name of the so called "Princess" herself.

Jon sat in his chair and laughed at the thought of a Princess sending him royal mail and offering her assistance. Jon had to admit that the letter did look very official. Though, at the same time, if an official-esque letter from "Royalty" is all it took to convince Jon of its validity, then he would have lost all his money to a Nigerian Prince a long time ago.

As strange as this all was, Jon was no stranger to powerful people trying to get in contact with him. In the past, he had received phone calls from foreign leaders, ambassadors, and former U.S. Presidents. Usually because they wished to set up some kind of appearance on his show or to invite him to a social gathering, but this just seemed absurd.

Still...Jon had to agree that an interview with someone who has connections to royalty would definitely be just the angle he needed to impress those back at work. Jon quickly dismissed the idea.

"NO! That's stupid!" he thought, shaking his head, "This is obviously a fake. I mean, there's no place on Earth called 'Equestria' and I'm pretty sure the ruler of an entire nation has better things to do than to pull her resources to help a single New Yorker down on his luck."

Having said that, Jon was once again reminded of his current predicament and glanced over at his clock which told him that it was 11:34pm. It was almost Monday.

Next to his clock was Jon's study phone which he rarely used. It was a simple, black phone, nothing special, but as he looked at it his mind began to wander. He thought about his show. He thought about his friends and family who relied on him. And he thought about his millions of fans.

To this day, he is unsure as to what exactly made him pick up that phone. Maybe it was his lack of sleep, or sheer curiosity, or maybe he was just desperate. Either way, he picked up his phone and, with a deep sigh, dialed the obviously fake number to see what would happen. To his surprise, after a few seconds of ringing, someone actually picked up.

"Hello?" A soothing voice said, clearly from the other line.

"Um...hi?" Jon said, who was all but certain no one would answer, "Princess...Celestia?"

"Ah! Mr. Stewart, I'm so glad you decided to call me," The voice said, "Yes, this is Princess Celestia. So, have you decided on which of my loyal subjects you wish to interview?"

Jon found himself at a lost for words. Whoever this person was, she was very committed to the act.

"I'm sorry, but I'm afraid I don't quite understand what you're trying to do here." He said, trying to sound as authoritative as possible.

"Whatever do you mean?" The voice asked.

"What I mean 'your majesty,' is I'm not sure what your motive here is," Jon answered, rubbing his tired eyes, "What do you want? Money? Because I don't have much. Also, how did you get this letter in my house? Do I need to alert the authorities?"

"Mr. Stewart," The voice said, with a hint of seriousness, "I assure you, this is not some kind of trick nor are you in any danger. Like I detailed in my letter, I only wish to help you."

Jon now felt annoyed as he thought the mere mention of the police would cause his prankster to hang up. Before Jon could say another word, the voice spoke again.

"I understand this must all be very suspicious to you," The voice added, "But believe me when I say I only have your best interests in mind." Jon sat back down in his chair, rubbing his hand over his face.

"Well you'll forgive me if I don't just take your word for it," Jon said, his voice now thick with exhaustion, "But I tend not to believe every nutcase who sends me letters claiming to be the ruler of a foreign land that doesn't exist."

Jon could hear the person on the other end now giggle softly as she once again spoke in her calming voice.

"I suppose I'll just have to show you then," The voice said, "Show you that I am serious about who I am and what I'm willing to do."

This sounded less like reassurance to Jon and more like a threat, but he'd be lying if he said he wasn't curious as to where the caller was going with this.

"Do me a favor Mr. Stewart," The voice added, "Please close your eyes and make sure you are standing straight up."

"Sure thing," Jon grunted, as he leaned back in his seat defiantly. Holding the note and list in front of him, "And while I'm at it why don't I-"

Before Jon could finish his statement, a bright light flashed all around him, blinding him. The sensation of this sudden burst of light was soon replaced with the crashing feeling of falling onto cold, hard ground. The slow regaining of his sight coupled with his aching lower back and head made it feel as if he had just woken up from a knockout punch.

"You didn't stand up like I asked." A familiar voice said piercing the silence.

As Jon's vision slowly returned, he stumbled to his feet and noticed that he was no longer in his study, but in some kind of giant chamber which could easily have housed his study 20 times over. The room was decorated in the finest tapestries and stained glass, each of many colors and designs, with the occasional artifact on display.

In his lifetime, as a famous political comedian, Jon had been invited to many extravagant locations and settings. None of which even came close to this.

Jon also noticed, via the many giant windows, that it was dark outside but the inside of the room was brightly lit with many torches attached to the columns. Columns which lead in rows of two to an exit on one side and, to the other, a deluxe chair which could only be described as a throne.

Sitting on that throne, much to Jon's shock, was what appeared to be a large animal (a horse perhaps) complete with wings on its back, a horn on its head, and a crown to go with it. Its body was pale white and it had free flowing hair of many colors.

Before Jon could make head or tails at what he was looking at (which was also looking at him) the most amazing thing yet happened. This multi-colored creature of many features... spoke.

"I do hope you're alright," The animal said with a gentle smile, "We wouldn't want your first trip to our world to be a foul one now would we?"

Jon recognized the creature's voice.

"Y-y-you're Princess...Celestia! Aren't you!?" Jon said, now fully standing up, his eyes wide with astonishment.

"Yes I am. Welcome to my palace." Celestia said, giving a reassuring smile, "You can come closer Mr. Stewart. I promise I won't bite."

Jon felt weak in the legs. Everything inside him was telling him that this was all fake. An illusion. Some kind of dream. But the pain of his back and the cold feel of the marble floor under his feet told him that this was very much real. Just then, Jon realized that something the Princess had said was very important.

"Wait a minute," Jon Said, "Where am I!?"

The Princess smiled.

"Why, you are in my Kingdom," She replied, extending a wing over to a nearby window, "Take a look for yourself." Jon was momentarily startled by the creature's massive wingspan.

He hesitated to follow the creature's orders, but curiosity once again got the better of him and he slowly made his way towards the window, walking cautiously as if he were navigating across hot coal. He held the back of his head and kept an ever watchful eye over the talking animal.

Even though it was dark, Jon could see an outside world much different than his own. Instead of concrete sidewalks he saw dirt roads. Instead of tall buildings piercing the clouds, he saw small towns and villages. And instead of humans he saw more animals.

"Welcome to Equestria," Celestia said, now behind him, "So, have you decided?"

"Uh...decided on what?" he asked, momentarily surprised by the elegant creature now being closer than before.

"On who you wish to interview first," she replied, motioning to the papers in his hand, "If you need any information regarding anypony on the list, I'd be glad to assist."

Jon didn't respond right away. Instead he just stared at the Princess then back out of the window. He could hardly believe it. It was all true. Talking animals, another nation in another world, and this royal Princess. All of it was true. Jon then thought about what this meant for him and turned to face the Princess who still had her eyes focused on him.

"Sooo anyone on this list," Jon said holding up the papers, "You'll let me have them on my show?"

"That is correct Mr. Stewart," Celestia replied, "Just give me a name and I'll make sure they're teleported to your studio at your behest." Jon looked at her with confusion as he followed her back to her throne.

"Don't you mean 'Transported'", Jon said, hoping to God that he was wrong.

With a slight giggle Celestia replied.

"Like I said Mr Stewart, just pick any name and I'll handle the rest." she said. Jon looked at the list of names and back at Celestia.

"Not to look a gift horse in the mouth," he said, regretting his choice of words, "But why are you doing all this for me?"

Celestia smiled and extended her hoof.

"Let's just say you have fans all over the world and parts beyond," she said, "So? Do we have a deal?" Jon stared at her outstretched front leg for a moment, then made his decision.

"Yeah," Jon said, firmly grabbing her hoof, "We have a deal... also, call me 'Jon.'" Celestia smiled and in excitement momentarily extended both her wings.

"Excellent! So have you decided on who you want on your show first?" She asked.

Jon took a moment to think about who he wanted to pick. He had very little to go on and decided to ask an obvious first question.

"Is everyone on this...list like you?" he asked. Celestia looked at the window she previously had Jon examine and responded.

"If you mean are they of royal descent, then you should know some of them are, yes," she said, now looking at Jon once again, "If you mean are they all talking animals...then the answer is, absolutely." Celestia smiled and winked.

Jon looked back at the list and was a second away from asking the Princess to give him some background information on some of the many names. But just then, something caught his eye, it was actually something he noticed when he first read the note. It was a name. A name that wasn't on the list, but a name that by all accounts seemed very promising. Jon had made up his mind.

"Actually, I have princess," he said, much to the delight of Celestia, "But this person isn't on the list you provided me." Celestia's expression changed from that of exuberance to confusion.

"Oh really?" Celestia said, now very intrigued, "Whose name is it?" Jon then presented to Celestia the very note that she herself gave him and pointed to a little clause at the end written in small print.

It read:
"Royal mail written, dictated, and delivered by 'Spike the Dragon.'"



Later that night in Jon's study



"Hello!? Yes, get me Mr. Steven Bodow!" Jon said to the secretary on the other end of the line, his voice filled with excitement, "Hello Stevie? Yeah, it's me Jon! Listen, you're never going to believe who I got for tomorrow's show!