Nineteen
Hands
A My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
By Andrew J. Talon
DISCLAIMER: This is a non-profit fanbased work of prose. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is the property of Hasbro, and the reinvention of the lovely Lauren Faust. No copyright infringement is intended, please support the official release.
- - - - - -
You know, I have had to re-evaluate the concept of “bad days” entirely since I got to Equestria. Before, a bad day might consist of a speeding ticket, a rough day at work, and at least one fight with a friend. Throw in some new political idiocy to piss me off and there: That was a bad day in Andrew Shepherd’s book.
In Equestria though, a bad day can have all sorts of variety Earth just couldn’t compete with. Like take my current situation.
My girlfriend had been banished to who knows where. An alien shapeshifting queen had invaded my homeworld, and was threatening to invade and conquer my current home. And I had been hunted - hunted - all night by a ravenous monster manticore in a forest full of big, scary monsters.
Until you’ve felt that primal fear of being chased down by something big, furry and sharp toothed; something hungry for your flesh, you do not even know what a bad day is.
Well maybe if you’re that 127 Hours guy but... I’m getting off topic.
The point was, I had a new champion for Worst Day Ever. Even worse than that time the Cutie Mark Crusaders tried to build a rocket ship.
I would write about that little adventure, but everytime I try it devolves into a lot of expletives. Maybe later.
Anyway, Everfree Forest. I had managed to get up into a tree, and I heard the Manticore prowling around beneath me in the darkness. I struggled to catch my breath, absently rubbing a few bruises I’d picked up in my frantic climb.
Not good, not good, I thought as the growling got louder. I looked furtively around in the dark. Thankfully, there was enough moonlight I could at least see otherwise this would have been absolutely hopeless. I pulled a branch off the tree, and ripped a bit of cloth from my shirt. I wrapped it around the tip of the branch, and double checked that my box of matches was in my shirt pocket.
It was, but I didn’t light my improvised torch just yet. And yes, I had taken to carrying matches around.
No I didn’t let the Cutie Mark Crusaders have any. Geez, three fillies get your plans for Earth weapons and somehow you are responsible for every bit of chaos they cause.
Yes, that’s a sore point with me.
All right, I thought to myself. I can just wait him out... He’s got to go for food sometime, right? Then I can get down and... And...
Ah. Right. I had no idea where I was in the Everfree Forest. Well crap, there went that idea. Still, at least I was safe up in this tree. It wasn’t like the Manticore could fly up here, right?
The heavy flapping of wings, like leather being swung against the wind, filled the air. I looked out and saw the form of the Manticore. His teeth glistened in the moonlight, his bat like wings working to keep him airborne, and his claws were extended.
“Oh, right,” I muttered. I managed to keep calm as he landed on a large branch above me, even as he let out a snarl that made me threaten to mess my pants. I lit my torch and waved it in front of his face, the flames shining back at me from his eyes.
“How about a little fire, Sc-Scarecrow?” I managed to growl, thrusting the fire right into the manticore’s nose. The beast growled again... And pursed his lips to blow my torch right out.
I stared through the darkness at the gleaming teeth, and did the only thing I could do.
“JERK!” I shouted, shoving the branch into the beast’s nose. He howled in pain, and I frantically climbed down the tree. The moment I felt the trunk under my hands and feet I slid down it, but I lost my grip in the last few meters and I tumbled off with a cry to the ground.
“GAH!” I had managed a roll when my shoulder hit the ground, but pain still flashed through me as I laid on the ground, panting. The manticore was crashing through the branches above me, snarling in anger. I got up with a wince, and shook my head free of disorientation.
And again, I began to run. This was going to get old really, really fast...
- - - - - -
I didn't know how much time had passed when the first light of the sun shone over the valley. It could have still been dark to me. I was a mess. My clothes were torn from branches and rocks. I was sweating like a pig. I was dirty enough that even Applejack's pigs might hesitate to touch me. And I was covered in bruises and cuts, one across my face. I didn't know if it made me look cool, and frankly, I didn't care.
"Huff... Huff... Huff..." I was exhausted. But I could still smell and hear the manticore nearby.
"RAWWWWWRRRR!"
Not that he made it hard to miss him. I shuddered at the bone chilling roar, and carried on, stumbling over a root. I could spy open ground through the nearby trees. Maybe I was close to Ponyville. Maybe I just wanted to see the sun properly.
Maybe I was just desperate.
Please be Ponyville, please be Ponyville God, I prayed frantically as I moved as fast as I could.
Well, God may have been listening to me but what He gave me did not reassure. I broke through the trees into the open sunshine, and I saw below me the colorful roofs and spires of Ponyville. I grinned happily, stumbling over a rock as I tried to make my way down to my salvation...
"Woah!" I pulled back just in time at a truly terrifying sight of a long drop onto jagged rocks far below. My eyes widened in disbelief as I knelt down, looking for any path to the valley floor.
"You've gotta be kidding," I muttered, seeing none.
"RAWWWWWRRRR!" The Manticore bellowed. I slowly stood back up and turned around, checking my pockets as the beast smashed through the trees. I had the phone, but that wasn't going to help me a whole lot against this monster. I had... A pocket knife? Huh, guess the security ponies missed that.
I looked over my shoulder, back down below at the rocks, and back to the Manticore. I clenched at the items in my hands as the beast snarled, his teeth shinging in the early morning sunlight. I had to come up with something! A clever plan. I had some tools at my disposable, I had my mind. I could do this! I could come up with something to-
"RAWRRRRRRRRR!"
My eyebrows twitched. Right. I could beat this guy. I just needed to think of-
"RAWRRRRR!"
My tired head pounded in pain, but that was okay. I could deal. I just needed a -
"RAWWRRRRR-"
"RAWWRRRR YOURSELF!" I screamed, shaking my fists at the manticore. "RAWR! RAWRRRRR! HUH?! HUH?! HOW DO YOU LIKE IT?! HUH?! RAWRRRRRRRRRR!"
The Manticore looked a bit taken aback, but I was done with this bullshit. I marched right up to him and glared defiantly into the monster's eyes. I swore the beast took a step back, and I just kept on coming.
"YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT KIND OF NIGHT I'VE HAD?!" I screamed. "HUH?!"
I pointed across the valley at Canterlot, still protected by the forcefield bubble. Not that it would matter. "MY BEST FRIENDS AND GIRLFRIENDS ARE IN DANGER! FROM A HORRIBLE BUG QUEEN THAT INVADED MY HOME! TRIED TO CONQUER MY SPECIES! AND I CAN'T BE THERE TO HELP THEM OUT BECAUSE THAT FREAKING BUG QUEEN ZAPPED ME INTO EVERFREE!"
I poked the manticore in his arm, which still bore the burn marks from our last encounter. "WHERE YOU HAVE CHASED ME FOR THE LAST SEVERAL FREAKING HOURS ROARING SO LOUD I CAN'T HEAR MYSELF THINK!" I reach up and grabbed his whiskers, yanking his head down to glare death right into his wide eyes. I was probably going to die very messily the moment it got over its shock, but at that moment I didn't care. A wild, crazy idea siezed me. The only thing I had left to play:
Sheer. Unmitigated. Ballsiness.
"So here's what's going to happen - You are going to take me back to Ponyville where I can get my weapons. Then you're gonna fly me back to Canterlot where I can help save the people I love."
My voice lowered to a ragged, deadly whisper which made the manticore shudder.
"And if you complain at any point, I will fucking rip your eyes out AND EAT THEM IN FRONT OF YOU!" I snarled, miming the action in such a way no mistake could be made as to my intent. "THAT CLEAR?!"
The Manticore stared. I stared back, panting, my eyes wide and bloodshot like a madman's. Maybe I was.
But madness seemed to win the day, as the Manticore slowly nodded. He knelt down, and spread his wings. I stared a bit, before I shook my head free of rage and clambered on. The beast grunted a bit in discomfort, but I was soon sitting behind his mighty head with my legs over his shoulders. I nodded and gripped his mane as tightly as I could.
"All right then," I said, digging my heels into his great shoulders. "Punch it Chewy!"
The Manticore probably didn't get the reference, but it didn't mistake my intent as it leapt from the clifftop and soared over the valley. The cool wind rushing into my face helped clear my head of cobwebs, and I held on a little tighter.
I had the beginnings of a plan in my head. Not much... But it was a start.
And at the moment, that's all I needed.
- - - - -
Entering Ponyville riding a Manticore gets you more than a few funny looks. It gets you the beginning of a town panic. And not a Town Called Panic, though that movie was awesomely twisted and weird and...
Shit, I’m getting distracted. Ah, the screaming of startled ponies. That’s brought me back to reality.
“Uh, Mister Shepherd?” The Mayor asked as I passed by city hall, “why exactly are you...?”
“You should really just not ask any questions and prepare the town for a disaster,” I said flatly, as the Manticore growled. The Mayor winced.
“How bad are we talking?”
I looked intently into her eyes, trying to impart just how serious the situation was.
“I’m going to recommend you get the Cutie Mark Crusaders involved,” I said. The Mayor’s jaw dropped.
“Th-That bad?!” She gasped.
“You must be joking!” Gasped Marigold, a mare with carrots on her rump. I shook my head.
“Do I look like I’m joking?” I asked flatly, patting the Manticore’s head. He growled. The Mayor jumped, and cleared her throat.
“Emergency preparations, now!” She cried. “Go go go!”
The ponies stampeded in all directions in a mild panic. I sighed. You’d think they’d be used to this by now.
“Rawr?” The manticore asked... I think. It sounded like a question, anyway.
“Relax,” I said. “We’re just going to pick up a few things... And a friend.”
“Rawr?”
“No I don’t know how I can understand you,” I grumbled. “And right now, I really don’t care so move it!”
Out of the panicking crowd came the lovely Nurse Redheart. I sighed as I felt her glare like an X-Ray machine revving up.
“Nurse Redheart, what a pleasant surprise,” I said dryly. Ponyville’s angel of mercy gaped in disbelief.
“Wh-What the-What have you been through?!”
“Hell,” I said.
“Again?!” The nurse gasped. I held a hand to my face as my Manticore growled.
“No not again! It was an analogy-Nevermind! Look, just get prepped for casualties!”
“Looks like I already have one right here!” Nurse Redheart said. “Get off that monster right now!”
I made to slide off... But paused. I had a suspicion...
“Will this involve anesthetics?” I asked.
There was a reason Nurse Redheart never played poker. Her wince said it all.
“Well... It’s for your own good,” she tried.
“Oh yeah, I’ve heard that before,” I snorted. “Come on Chewie.”
The nurse bravely got in front of my monster and I. She glared with a force Fluttershy would find impressive.
“Buck it, you are going to get thoroughly checked out if I have to break your legs myself!” She snarled. I glared back and tugged on my epic mount’s mane.
“My Manticore says otherwise,” I said flatly.
He was a much smarter monster than I gave him credit for. He growled on cue, his teeth bared and eyes narrowed. Redheart gulped and pulled back.
“Oh-Oh my...” She gasped. “I... Andrew!”
“Sorry Redheart,” I said, and I truly was. “But I need to save the day before I can have any medical attention.”
“And if you die in the middle of doing that?!” Redheart growled.
“Then you can say ‘I told you so’ at my funeral,” I replied. I yanked on my Manticore’s mane. “Get going Chewy!”
- - - - - -
I got to the library in record time thanks to the manticore, though a glance at the clock revealed that the wedding was already starting. I hopped off the back of my mount with a curse, right outside Twilight's home. I looked over my shoulder as I opened the door.
"Wait here," I ordered. The manticore nodded with an assenting growl. I stormed in, just in time to see Spike emerge from the basement. He was bearing several of my weapons, looking grim and determined.
Our eyes widened in unison as we saw each other.
"What are you doing?" We asked in stereo. "Well what does it look like?" We asked again. I held up my hand to forestall any further comedy.
"Spike! We've got big trouble in Canterlot, and we don't have a lot of time," I said. Spike nodded.
"Just give me the basics then. How bad?" He asked as I walked past him into the basement. I discarded my ruined duster in a corner once I was down the stairs, and began quickly changing my clothes. Spike followed, setting his weapons down on the workbench I'd brought in.
"Alien invasion bad," I said frankly. Spike's eyes widened.
"Twilight and Rarity-?!"
"Rarity is fine, far as I know," I said frankly as I pulled on a dragon scale vest. It was another of Rarity's creations and extremely purple, but it would grant more more protection than a simple vest would.
Still, I pulled a white button up shirt over it anyway. Hey, I wasn't ashamed of Rarity's hard work on my behalf! That's why I was keeping it under wraps, so to speak. Besides, it had worked for Frodo, right?
… Look, I wasn’t Roman okay? And purple didn’t look good on me anyway.
"Twilight...?" Spike asked. I shook my head, not looking at him as I donned my spare gunbelt. As Rarity had made this one, it was decorated in intertwining hearts and her personal logo on the holster itself. I pulled out the other revolver Smokestack had built me, and loaded it before tucking it into the holster. I scrambled through the boxes of ammo that had built up, tucking each one into a heart on the belt.
"I don't know," I admitted. "She said she was keeping her in the same place she's been keeping the Princess-"
"Princess? Who? What?" Spike demanded. "Answers if you please!"
"All right," I said, taking a deep breath. "An alien shapeshifter took the place of Princess Cadence, and is planning on taking over Equestria. She zapped Twilight to a prison where she's keeping the real princess, I think, and zapped me into the Everfree Forest. She's got Shining Armor under control and she may have a whole army of her fellow aliens lurking in the city under the form of ponies."
I took another deep breath as I slung another gunbelt over my shoulder, turning it into a bandolier. I rummaged around through the various weapons the Cutie Mark Crusaders and Smokestack had been churning out. Frankly, it was kind of amazing how much firepower was now available in Ponyville and the rest of Equestria.
Smokestack had been making good business selling pony-capable versions of the weapons, especially to pony towns out on the frontier. So there was some standardization in the weapons. He had to make mine custom though, to fit human hands. I pulled out what I'd nicknamed the Winchester, given it was Smokestack's best version of a lever action rifle to date. I slung that over my shoulder, tying it onto the bandolier.
"... That's pretty bad," Spike said at last. I nodded to him, and picked up a box of ammo that I dumped into a small satchel I then tied to my belt. A few basic explosives were next, tucked safely into the satchel as well with a novelty lighter I'd picked up at a local shop. It was shaped like Nightmare Moon, which I had to admit I found a bit hilarious.
Right now though, I just needed it in case I was going to pull a Clint Eastwood in Two Mules for Sister Sarah.
… What, am I the only person who saw that movie? Philistines, all of you.
"Seriously bad," I said. Spike clenched his fists and waved them, eyes narrowed.
"Well, come on! Let's get going!" He said. I turned to a stone shelf carved out of the very rock. Sitting on it was the iron staff I'd found in an ancient human temple. I took it up, the iron rod no longer than a pencil and no thicker than the handle on a bicycle. I shook my head as I tucked that into my pocket. I grabbed a knife too, and a spare shotgun made for pony hooves, and an extra revolver.
This was going to be mighty heavy, but I wasn't about to take any chances. I was going to war, and I might as well put my best weapons forward, right?
Satisfied with my weapons (well, to be honest, I don't think I could carry any more), I walked over to some coat hooks. There my cloak hung.
It was a nice, warm, greenish-gray thing that thanks to the magics Rarity had woven into it made me harder to see. It came in handy when I went hunting... Or when I was sent on errands to Zecora in Everfree. That frigging Manticore...
Admittedly, it wouldn't be a lot of use in Canterlot but a cloak can be handy for distorting the shape of your body. It would make me harder to target if I kept moving. That it might make me look cool barely crossed my mind.
... Okay, maybe it crossed my mind a little. Sue me.
"You're not going," I said flatly as I fastened the cloak around my neck. Spike's jaw dropped, and then he gritted his teeth.
"Like heck I'm not!" He growled. "Rarity and Twilight are in trouble!"
"Yes, and I know you want to help," I said, kneeling down to look him in the eyes. I rested my hands on his shoulders. "But you've got a far more important job. Well, two."
"And what's that?" Spike asked bitterly.
"You need to sound the alarm, of course," I said flatly. "Look! If Canterlot is taken then the rest of Equestria needs to respond! I need you to get the news out to everypony to muster their forces, now."
Spike grimaced. "But... But I want to help you!" He said.
"You are, Spike," I said earnestly. "Trust me... It has everything to do with the first thing I need you to do for me."
"What's that?" Spike asked.
I grinned.
- - - - - -
"I don't know about this," Spike admitted outside. Whether he looked more leery of the plan or of the Manticore I didn't know. Didn’t think I had time to ask.
"Me neither," I said flatly. "But this is the best plan I can come up with." I mounted the Manticore, who snuffled a question. I sighed and patted his mane.
"Relax buddy," I said. "I'm pretty sure this'll work. And if it does, then we win the day soon enough for you to get back home."
"Rawr grawr?" The Manticore asked. I rolled my eyes.
"Yes, yes, I'm sure it will be impressive to any lady Manticores," I said flatly. "Remember, this is a being that can challenge a princess. That's gonna give you enough swag that you'll be swimming in hotties. Trust me."
"Rawr?"
"Yes, I'm still gonna do that thing to your eyes if you don't cooperate," I said grimly. The manticore whimpered. Spike blinked.
"How did you-?"
"I haven't the slightest idea," I admitted, "but I am not complaining. Remember Spike: Get every able bodied pony capable of fighting to Canterlot as soon as you can!"
Spike grumbled, but gave me a salute. "Fine, Captain Monkey. But just so you know, if anything happens to Rarity-!"
"Nothing will happen," I said firmly. We shared a grim, hard gaze... Then Spike nodded, smiling a little.
"I know," he said. "Just... Just gotta make sure."
"Yeah," I said, gripping the Manticore's mane more tightly. I took a few deep breaths. "Okay... You ready?"
"Ready!" Spike said, holding up a large bottle filled to the brim with sneezing powder. I nodded.
"Okay..."
"Are you ready?" Spike asked.
"... No," I admitted. "Not in the slightest."
"Too bad!" Spike growled, dumping the entire bottle into his face. He coughed at first, and then it began. "Ahhh... Ahhhh... Ahhhh....!"
This has got to be the craziest plan I've ever come up with, I thought to myself.
"AHHHHH... AAAAAHHHHHH...!"
Well if it works, it isn't crazy is it? A treacherous part of my mind pointed out. I sighed.
Touche, Optimus Primal.
"AAAAHHHHH CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"
And then my world was green flame and nothingness as Chewy howled in fear.
What a baby.
- - - - -
An Omake by AdmiralTigerClaw over at Spacebattles.com:
Best listened to with this music.
*Equestrian Air Force on approach to Canterlot*
NIGHT GUARD: All wings report in.
GUARD: Red Leader Standing by...
BATPONY: Gray leader standing by...
SPITFIRE: Green Leader standing by.
NIGHT GUARD: Tighten formation and prepare for shield passage.
LUNA: I hope I'm just jumpy...
GUARD: Strange... I can't get a link to shining.
NIGHT GUARD: What? He's got to be there. The shield's up.
GUARD: All I've got is static.
NIGHT GUARD: Well why would he not respond unless... he's in trouble! BREAK OFF THE APPROACH! WE'RE UNDER ATTACK!
LUNA: I don't sense anything, are you sure?
NIGHT GUARD: PULL OFF! ALL FORCES! PULL OFF!
LUNA: TAKE EVASIVE ACTION! GREEN GROUP! STICK CLOSE TO HOLDING PATTERN L-K-7!
GUARD: PRINCESS! WE HAVE ENEMY FORCES IN SECTOR FORTY SEVEN!
LUNA: 'TIS A TRAP!
NIGHT GUARD: UNKNOWNS COMING IN!
GUARD: There's... TOO MANY OF THEM!
NIGHT GUARD: Accelerate to attack speed! Try to draw their fire away from the princess!
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Nice one. I especially like the manticores nickname
>>>Until you’ve felt that primal fear of being chased down by something big, furry and sharp toothed; something hungry for your flesh, you do not even know what a bad day is.>>>
Sounds like a hot date in "Twilight"!
Fucking hell that was awesome.
Good, good.
Badass all the way
Wooo, this was good. I always love seeing how fucked up this wedding can actually get.
"''Tis a Trap!"
We hast seen what thou hast performed here.
*reads last section*
Lock ass balls in attack position. (WELL THAT'S WHAT IT SOUNDED LIKE AT THE TIME!!)
Good job Shepherd you have learn 'The Stare'
Ride like the wind Chewy!!! Can't wait to see how the battle turns out.
For now, have double mustache
And finally, the Changelings were only able to keep their hold on Earth until our viruses and bacteria infected their bodies. Having no natural immunity to our microbes, their great machines soon stood silent as the last fading changeling cries echoed across the cities coated with the crumbling remnants of the red weed, "ULLA ULLA ULLA!!"
The Changelings should have consulted the Martians first. The first things you do is make sure you vaporize Michael J. Fox and blow up Congress. Then you make sure your protective helmets are immune to the resonance of the warbling melodies of Slim Whitman. (double cross-over trolling! Gain +10 in Satire Skill!)
2113916 The very same Martians who got their invading force wiped out, and whose home base never received a status update from them?
wait wait wait... did... Did you just pull a scene from the rescuers down under?
I'm sure you get this a lot but... whatever happened to the whole, "a slightly more realistic take on the "Human in Equestria" story concept?" I mean shit, I think we pretty much left that bridge, blew it up, and planted rainbow-puking fairies on the debris.
Still an awesome story though.
LUNA: 'TIS A TRAP! and Chewy XD Nice Star Wars references!
Ooh! Update!
2113939 For a given value of "realistic". It's right there in the summary.
Holy crap...it's times like this that make me very aware I'm a guy. I can see myself loosing it at a manticore, and moreover, I can see the relationship between it and our boy Andrew being Star Wars-esque. That said, using Spike's flame to get them to Canterlot, a more Bad ass entrance I could not envision. That said, his sudden ability to commune with the best leaves me in stitches!
I also say, for the record, that you can take as long as you wish if the chapters remain this great!
Wishing you all the best from my end. Take care!
The king of Deltora called, he want's his cloak back.
Grats on being featured (not sure if I saw this story featured before or not.) Anyways, another great chapter and I loved the ending. I'm a sucker for pop culture references. Also, the Spike-teleporter was awesome, they should have one of those on the Enterprise too. Andrew + magic fire + guns and a manticore. Going to be epic.
Don't forget to have the mares tease Andrew a little more, he's going to be begging for clop by the time they're done. The Cutie Mark Crusaders will probably blow up the library or something before he gets any. Such is the life of Andrew
2113916 Maybe they flew thousands of light-years with technology thousands of years beyond ours and forgot to scan for pathogens. However, I'll never forgive M. Night Shyamalan for Signs. "Hey, let's invade a planet that's 70% water." "But sir, Water is our only weakness!" "Damn the H2O full speed ahead!"
Oh and, you misspelled trunk as truck. If Andrew did have a truck, that'd be awesome too.
2113926 Yes! You look to their example as what not to do!
It's an illustration of strategery!
He's gonna be promoted to commander for this, isn't he?
ITS A TRAP!
Loading up weapons.
Cue lock-and-load scene from Hot Fuzz.
Hurray, he finally made peace with the manticore, I hoped/request that that will be stay, and those two become friends from now on. He now understand the manticore, have learn "Stare" and as he said, Chewie will get lucky with the ladies once they find out what he did.
Yeah, I can see the Manticore becoming one of his best friends. And a propel punishment for the crusaders from him and their sisters (Behave and don't make chaos or Chewie will chase you all over ponyville) Yeah that will be hilarious.
Also "Andrew reach level 40…Andrew lean stare…Andrew learn close combat…Andrew learn Berserker mode" Sorry i had to make that joke
The number of Star Wars references in this chapter...
IS TOO DAMN HIGH!!!
2114059 Hey, none of them are to the prequels so I call it good.
Good chapter. Thing's are about to get crazy.
2114067 Ugh, don't remind me *shudders*
2114101 You think that's bad? The only Star Wars films that made it to Equestria ARE the Prequels. The Special Guaranteed by George Lucas to Make You Lose All Will To Live Edition!
2113975 And someone has to point out that no value of realistic was given. In other words, craziness is the norm!
Break out the party turbo-lasers and let those Chagelings show us their Messerschmidt imitation!!
(pant, pant) No, I'm not done yet...
2113995
Nothing makes an entrance like a Peterbilt at 70 MPH. Just ask B.J. McCay. (wait for it...)
2114140 Wait... Lucas sent the prequels to Equestria?!
...square the sum...carry the pi...
Oh...
Oh... No...
DOCTOR!!!
Awesome! The best part of "Two Mules" was the fact the so called hero got took in the end.
Always a better day when you update.
Yep, the manticore taming scene went about the way I thought it would.
Hey, what can you expect the guy to do when his favorite "chase-but-not-chew" toy suddenly decides he's had enough and behaves like Fluttershy at a Dragon? Or beyond? I don't think Flutters ever threatened to eat someone's eyes in front of them. Uh, how are they supposed to see that? Shut up, he's on a roll.
Then, he's told how awesome it'll be and that he'll get laid more than his wildest fantasies could be, and this suddenly crazy genius understands him and calls him by a strangely cool name.
What else would you do but go along? If you didn't, the other manticores would call you a wuss, beat you up and take your lunch money. Why risk it?
Come along, sir, it's time for your medication. No! No, it makes me normal! You can't do that to me!!
Ah, the Spike Sneeze Gambit. A classic. Looks like Andrew's going to make one hell of an entrance next chapter.
2114198 Sorry, but when you yelled "DOCTOR!" I had the scene from Monty Python's Flying Circus playing in my head.
2114025 General, if he's not too careful. Right, Jar-Jar?
Now and forever more that Manticore is now Chewie. I don't care about that other manticore from the pilot and his offical name. Chewie is best Manticore.
2114294 Jar-Jar was so bad at everything it looped around to win.
only thing I can hope for is when Andrew gets there he arrives in front of Celestia who just glares at him for the absurdity of his arrival. he just looks at her and says "your argument is invalid I'm on a manticore."
seriously that line was running through my head the entire time, it needs to be done
2114231 "I'm riding on a Manticore. Your argument is invalid"
2114029 Eeeenope.
Cue the getting ready for prom scene from 21 Jump Street, I find it funnier.
And well damn, Andrew's gonna need some back-up, have anymore crossover friendly characters to come and help?
Tis a trap!
Riding a manticore like a boss bitch!
2113937 Yes. Yes, he most certainly did.
For some reason something is telling me NOT to read it
Naawww!!! But I want to!
I've speculated on what would happen to Andrew in the comments previously, but since then in the run-up to this chapter I've had more questions occur to me, questions like...
...What if Andrew grinned? And then what if he grinned again!? Can you do that? Can you grin twice?
Oh, I guess you can, but it just reads kinda awkward.
Joking aside, I'm happy to see this out, and look forward to the next as always. I can't say I saw the dragonfire teleport coming, and I can't say that Andrew is remotely sane for attempting that with so many explosives tied to his person. I also can't say that I object to this expression of rule of cool, so please carry on.