Thirty
Hands
A My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
By Andrew J. Talon
DISCLAIMER: This is a non-profit fanbased work of prose. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is the property of Hasbro, and the reinvention of the lovely Lauren Faust. No copyright infringement is intended, please support the official release.
- - - -
Switching the viewpoint a bit, written with Harry Leferts.
- - - -
It was one of the most secure bunkers on the planet. Heavily reinforced and dug deep into soil in Denton, Texas, it was a relic of the Cold War and could survive a multi-megaton nuclear bomb going off a mere three miles away. It had been packed with communications equipment, to coordinate civil emergency response across the country in the event of thermonuclear war. It had been put to far better use during the Changeling Invasion: As one of several communications centers that helped coordinate the global response to the war against the alien invaders.
Post-victory, the Denton facility had changed focus yet again: Monitoring what had become of the Changeling mothership in orbit, and the bizarre spacetime anomaly it had left behind. Within a conference room deep inside the facility, several generals and scientists around the world were meeting to discuss the latest findings regarding the anomaly.
The news, unfortunately, was not good.
As he looked at a nervous scientist, the US General slowly growled. "You mean to tell me...
that some of those blasted changelings may have escaped...!?"
Gulping, the scientist turned to a computer and typed. A moment later, the LCD screen showed a section of space that looked like a slowly waving line, bolts of St Elmo’s fire shooting across and around it.
"Yes, as you can see here, the explosion of the mothership's main engines created this." He paused for a moment to gather his thoughts. "We... don't know the hows or whys, though we suspect it had to do with whatever method of faster than light travel they used, but it punched a hole through space and time itself."
Dr. MacNeil then showed a video that showed the formation of the hole, and the small Dream Chaser craft as well as the changeling ships and fighters that got sucked in. "As you can see, they were, for lack of a better word, drawn into it. Where it goes... we don't know."
The General scowled a bit. "So for all we know, the changelings could have gone for reinforcements!"
A Canadian one shook his head. "Or found somewhere to rebuild." He then frowned as he rubbed his chin. "Could it gone through time? There are legends of shape changers throughout history after all..."
A chill swept through the room at that as the idea of changelings with knowledge of human history escaping to another time scared many. The doctor didn't help as he shook his head. "It's possible... anything is really." He then ran a hand through his hair. "Though it's just as likely that they were killed in the transit."
The British Admiral shook his head. "Not a chance we can take I'm afraid." He then sighed. "And, if for nothing else, we should find out the fate of whoever was piloting that dream chaser. Also, if possible, to retrieve them."
What was not said was that no one expected the pilot to be alive though. The Russian, Dmitry then spoke up. "But we can't just go through, we need information first!" He then looked at the scientist in the eye. "We need to send a probe through the... anomaly."
MacNeil scratched his chin. "It'll take a while for us to build it. The gravitational sheer around it would mean that it would be shielded and obviously it would need to be nuclear powered… Possibly with a lander if it's somewhere near a planet..."
Once more, the Russian grunted. "Once Energia is up and running once more, we'll be able to assemble it in orbit then. Not like size is an issue any longer..."
The Canadian General, Mike Bernard, nodded. "Then we're decided then? We'll build the probe and send it through as soon as possible."
He gave a look to an engineer who rubbed his neck. "Give us... a year, maybe two to set this up..."
"You have nine months," the general stated.
------
As the American General met his Canadian counterpart, he raised an eyebrow. "I heard that you have something?"
With a frown, General Mike Bernard motioned for him to follow and they entered the David Florida Labratory, one of the few facilities of it's kind from behind that had survived the war (for the simple dint that other countries had been higher on the list then Canada as threats). "As you know John, one of the things that we need is some intelligence for what might be beyond the portal before we send the main probe."
John grunted a bit as they walked. "Yes, but even with the war, more money is being directed to reconstruction and building up the orbitals. The cost of testing entry through that portal and finding out what may be on the other side with probes is causing some heads to shake, Mike. And it takes time to build probes."
Mike just smirked as they stopped outside a clean room and entered a small one beside it.
There, on the walls were some protective clothing which he motioned to. "Well, if there's one thing that us Canadians are used to, it's making due with small things..."
Now curious, the American General, dressed in the white clothing handed to him and put on the face mask as his counterpart did the same. Then together the two entered the clean room. The first thing he noticed was what looked like some old missile bodies being worked on at one end, mostly ones that would not have looked out of place mounted on a fighter. But the next thing was a series of dark grey objects on a table, five of them. Each was about the size of a toaster and on each of the five sides there was a darkened hemisphere. As well, there was strips of solar panels and what looks like a dish on the back. "Are those..."
The Canadian nodded. "Yes, say hello to the Champlain probes." He then chuckled. "The missiles are being outfitted with Faraday cages to protect them from the discharges and extra shielding for the probes in case of radiation."
Having walked over to them, John looked them over. "Cameras?"
Mike smirked behind the mask. "Off the shelf 360 cameras." He then gestured at the rest. "Most of it is off the shelf items letting us build them quickly and easily and on the cheap.Won't be able to see far, but should let us have some idea what might be on the other side." He then gestured at the dish on the back. "That folds in, allowing it to fit in the missile case."
With a smile, John looked back at the missiles being worked and chuckled. "Well, I'll be..." He then slapped the Canadian General on the shoulder. "Looks like we're in business..."
------------
As he drew slowly closer to what had become known as simply "The Rift", USAF Captain Arthur "King" MacIssac felt the hairs on the back of his neck as they rose. While he kept one eye on the anomaly, he glanced at his instruments and took note of where the sats that monitored the rip in Space/Time were. "King to Citadel, final positioning now complete, prepared and requesting permission to launch."
After a few moments his suit's radio cracked on the Control Room back on Earth answered.
"Citadel to King, Permission for launch has been granted. Repeat, permission for launch has been granted."
As the engines for the Dream Chaser ignited, the ship leapt forward as it built up speed. Then, the missile slung underneath launched as flames trailed it as it sped forward toward the center of the Rift. While he banked away, Captain MacIssac watched from the corner of his eye as the missile headed into the area of the Rift, guided by the multitude of satellites in the area. "King to Citadel, launch is complte and package heading for insertion in approximately ten seconds." As observed the missile get close, he saw bolts of strange lightning leap from the tear and slowly wrap themselves around the craft. Then, in a flash of bright light, it was gone on its way to meet its destiny. "King to Citadel, package has entered insertion point. Repeat, package has entered insertion point. Returning to Bug Hunter."
Down on Earth, one of the technicians manning the posts in a control room nodded. "Citadel to King, we read you."
As he watched the activity around him as did his Canadian counterpart, John grunted and turned to a nearby station. "How long until we receive a signal?"
The tech, a Eric MacPherson from memory, shook his head. "We don't know, Sir. Could be a few minutes or a few hours. We're dealing with a complete unknown here."
While on Earth the General grunted, the missile continued its journey until it came out the other side, the skin blackened and blistered from the strange energies inside the Rift. Inside, computers contained within shielded areas took note of it having passed through the Rift and once two minutes had passed, the bulbous head of the missile blew apart and revealed the probe. Then a moment later the gas canisters attached to the corners of the probe opened up and jetted away from the missile, helped along by one inside the missile itself which slowed it down.
As the probe continued one, the small explosives located at the weak spots detonated and broke the missile apart while a small arm extended from the back of the probe. And from the arm the communications dish slowly unfolded and began transmitting.
Back on Earth, the room erupted into cheers as the Canadian General gave the American on a nod before he cleared his throat. "Bring it up." As the screens began to show what the probe was seeing, his eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Is that a planet...?"
John just frowned some. "It is Earth in some different time? Or the Changeling Homeworld?"
One of the techs adjusted his glasses as he looked over the video and shook his head. "Can't be the homeworld of the bugs, no orbital infrastructure visible at all. And can't be Earth either, the continents are all the wrong shape."
Having just completed some calculations, one of the female techs spoke up. "Sir, the probe is heading for the planet itself. It should enter the atmosphere soon."
The American General just sighed. "We figured that it might be lost. Continue to gather as much data as possible until the probe stops transmitting." For the next few hours as the planet loomed larger and larger on the screens, they continued to download the video from it until the first licks of flame started to wrap around the probe.
Deep inside it, a small program activated as it sensed a possible intrusion and did as it was supposed to. A moment later, the small high explosive charge in the probe's innards detonated and turned it into a cloud of debris that rapidly burned up, followed two hours later by the remains of the missile...
-------------
"We've been going over the data for a while now," the scientist said as he clicked through powerpoint slides on the projector in the meeting room. "Spectroscopic analysis indicates the planet is definitely Earth like. Atmosphere is roughly the same as our own."
The general nodded. "So they jumped to a world like ours... Would that explain why they came to ours?"
"In theory, yes. Maybe they derive more energy from lifeforms with an oxygen-carbon cycle like we do," a biologist, Jessica Savard, who just last year had been doing her doctorate in methane-based microorganisms piped up from the other side of the crowded table. "Or maybe they seek out mammalian-like life to feed on. Frankly we haven't been able to figure out a lot of how they work, and we've only got our world and another world for examples."
Slowly, John allowed himself a wry smile. "Good point. All right, what can you tell me concretely?"
"We were able to pick up some signs of industrialization," The main scientist went on, flipping to a series of charts denoting atmospheric content. "Looks like whoever's living there has some level of technology given the artificial substances we picked out. There weren't any signs we could tell of radioactive isotopes that would indicate they'd detonated nuclear weapons..."
"So we could be dealing with a less advanced world," the general surmised. "I guess the Changelings lucked out and wanted to try rebuilding with a species that's less difficult to conquer."
"Yes," the scientist admitted. "However, the weird thing is that we detected waste heat energies comparable to our own civilization, and ionization in the atmosphere that suggests a great deal of radio communication traffic."
"So they don't use as many fossil fuels as we do?" Asked the President's representative, the first time the young man had asked a question. Dr. Arthur, the head scientist, shrugged.
"It is possible they figured out something we didn't," the scientist said. "In any event though, given these values if the Changelings were able to rebuild, they could use whatever this civilization has got-"
"And come back through to finish the job," the General finished. He frowned deeply and looked to the President's representative. "Frankly, I think we need to continue recon probes into this situation."
"The President agrees, however," and here Johnson, the representative fidgeted,"he wants to make it clear that if the Changelings are preying on a new world, our first priority should be to help them. Not to just, uh, drop lots of nukes on the planet to be sure."
"And we agree completely," the general said with a nod. Multiple nods around the room. "We need more intel before we can make a plan of action. For all we know, this might be a Changeling colony world and they might have reinforcements from elsewhere. At this point, all we can do is hope the President can convince Congress to fund as many recon flights as needed into the portal."
"And a manned mission?" Asked the representative.
The general sighed and checked his notes. "Enterprise is too valuable to send through. We need her to provide defense of Earth orbit..."
The representative nodded and passed out a few forms to the people around the conference table. "Then he was wondering what you'd make of this proposal he's running past the budget committee..."
The papers were opened and flipped through. To the biologist, it didn't make much sense. To the chief scientist, an engineer by training, it brought forth a whistle. "That's going to be a tall order," he admitted. "We're going to need a lot more infrastructure in LEO to build it."
"The man who gave the idea to the president said as much," the President's rep said, "but he wants to send this ship through the portal as soon as possible..."
"Before the end of his term then?" Asked the biologist. The President's rep coughed.
"Well... Not in so many words but-"
General John Andrews laughed. "I've gotta admit... It is a bit refreshing to see a politician want personal glory again after everything. Though in the President's case, it's a return to the norm-"
"General!" The rep gasped. The general snorted.
"I'm too old and too ornery to care. But I am honest enough to admit when someone's got a decent idea." He looked to the scientist. "How long would it take for you to build this set up?"
"A year, usually," admitted the chief scientist. At the general's look, the scientist sighed and smirked. "But we'll see what we can do."
"Good," said the general. He looked to the representative. "Inform the President if he can provide the means, we might just get this ready in time."
"Yessir," said the representative cheerfully.
-----
Four months later…
As he floated around the launch vehicle placed in the black colt spaceplane's cargo hold, the tech shook his head. "It looks like someone attached a damn rocket engine to a nuclear bomb..."
Beside him, the other tech taps on a tablet and sighed. "Well, considering the size of the payload in there, it needs to be larger than anything else we've sent through."
He then looked up at the massive object and noted that it was nearly the size of the old Soviet Tsar Bomba. "The faraday cage needs to be larger than normal." He then patted it as if it was a pet. "I'm telling you, this baby is going to let us know a lot..."
--------
Having made it through the portal, the capsule portion of the satellite carrier began to break apart, the scorched plates opening like a clam as the satellite shot forward on the small ion engine. Once it was behind so far, the small thermite veins activated and broke the carrier into smaller parts as the booster itself silently exploded as it was designed to. Eventually, the oblong shaped satellite moved into it's orbit, joining the dozen smaller ones already there.
As back on Earth, the various technicians ran checks on the systems, the probe's electronics began to hum with power as the alien sunlight struck it's solar panels that covered its body, the panels the only thing that glinted as the rest of the dark gray probe seems to absorb any that struck it. When the camera came online, the first thing it focused on was the sight of the booster's remains as they entered the atmosphere over the one of the major continents with any pieces that survived impacting a ocean having created a meteor show for anyone watching.
Finally, the main cameras focused in on one area in particular that had caught the attention of previous probes, though none had a high enough resolution to make out details. But this one's camera, based on the HiRISE of the old Mars Reconnaissance Orbiter, managed to catch much more detail, including the roofs of individual buildings though anything smaller was just blurry dots. It also made out roadways leading to and from the settlement to the excitement of the scientists and xenoanthropologists back home. It just sat there, silently...
Watching.
------
It was a week later that saw the Portal Exploration Team meet again, in the same secure conference room as before. The American general frowned as he looked at the various people on the viewscreen. "Okay what have you got for us? its obvious whoever lives there doesn't have orbital capabilities, yet you science guys are squawking about a unknown tech base? And why should that matter when you are finally getting some hard data on Changeling locations?"
Doctor Arthur cleared his throat before he nodded and began. "Well yes General. if you take a look of this our probes have been circling the planet for the better part of a month now when we noticed this anomaly".
With a growl, Daniel, the other American General, slammed his hand down on a table. "Are you telling us it took... a whole month? why wasn't it noticed earlier... for that matter why is it only NOW narrowing down where the escaped Changlings may be?"
For a brief moment, the head scientist coughed as he cleared his throat. "Well since we we were unsure about the orbital detection or capabilities of this world and the changeling survivors, our earlier probes were designed to be heavily stealth based. An unavoidable side effect was that other monitoring and scanning equipment had to be minimized both in power consumption and accuracy. We also had to reduce the cost as some were expected to be lost and so we used off the shelf commercial parts for them. Since then, we have determined there to be a acceptable perimeter that there appears to be no orbital defences at all, we have been able to prune back the stealth qualities of our probes and insert more powerful scanning equipment, with higher magnification... which is how we even noticed the anomaly."
There was a brief moment while John frowned as he state the one fact that was still getting to people. "And yet, you still can't get photos of the inhabitants of this world or changelings..."
The scientist sighed as he rubbed his brows. "Well yes, we can't completely dismiss the chance we missed something. Even orbital space is a fairly large volume, so we have decided not to eliminate stealth altogether. Add in what we have to build into the probes toughness so that it can withstand the stresses of the wormhole and its just not possible to match the sensor sophistication of what we can put into satellites in our own orbit." He shrugged, leaning back in his chair at the conference table. "It’s actually similar to the problem NASA used to have with probes sent to other planets, which were stuck with cameras and sensors that were well behind the cutting edge because they had to be built for robustness-"
He was interrupted by Mike Bernard, the Canadian General who waved a hand. "Alright, alright. No need to give us a dissertation," The Canadian frowned a bit as he cut to the heart of the matter. "The cameras on the probe are weaker and we can't avoid that. So! If they are so weak, how did you catch this anomaly?"
The various people not on the science team had to raise their eyebrows as they saw Doctor Arthur, known for his level headedness, actually throw his hands in the air. "Because the Anomoly is continent wide!" With a quick motion, he pulled up several videos of Equestria from orbit showing weather patterns in motion. "These videos are fast motioned copies of what our orbital probe has observed over the past month. Notice anything peculiar about them?"
Slightly confused, John shared a look with the other Staff Officers there and shrugged. "Looks orderly to me."
What he did not expect, was for Arthur to rub his face as he shouted. "EXACTLY! The weather patterns are orderly.... as in you can follow them logically with very little random chance... as opposed to the weather patterns on earth over a similar month."
He then pulled up a video showing north america similar fast motion which showed the difference in weather pattern was quite apparent. Apparent enough for General Daniel to sit up as he realized what was not told."You don' t mean..."
Slowly, the head scientist nodded, disbelief across his face. "Yes. Whoever inhabits this planet has some means of weather control technology. Weather control which is decades, if not centuries ahead of what crude manipulation we can do on our own."
While he frowned and thought over the newest information, the main American General, John Sawyer shook his head. "None of the Changeling prisoners even mentioned the idea of weather control..."
His attention was caught as he sighted as Dr. Arthur MacNeil raised a finger. "Actually, it's funny you should mention that. There appear to be a large forested area on the continent where the orderly weather control seems to fail." There was another click and a orbital picture of what many Equestrians could identify as the Everfree Forest popped up. "In what is a probably unlikely coincidence, this area is one of two where our probe sensors are able to detect Changeling hive activity, the other being up near the northern pole area. Which has its own anomaly of what appears to be a farmland and a giant city of sorts smack dab in the middle of a frozen arctic wasteland. However I digress, what is most notable is that of the two active Changeling points, the forest one is the stronger."
As he hummed, the Canadian General spoke up for the second time as usually in these meetings he preferred to listen. "Hmmm... so did the changelings just disrupt the weather control there, or is it a containment zone the inhabitants of planet X have managed to box the Changelings into?"
Slowly, John shook his head as he turned to his Canadian counterpart. "Its a pity the sensors just aren't strong enough to get us a clearer picture, but from what the tech boys claim we really can't get a better resolution while maintaining effective stealth levels AND have the probe sturdy enough to pass through the wormhole."
Dr. Arthur nodded in agreement. "Indeed. We might be able to squeeze in a little more magnification, but its doubtful we'd be able to discern anything smaller than a 747 within mission parameters."
Having shared a look with his counterpart, the Canadian General, Mike Bernard, sighed. "It seems we have no choice than..."
With a grunt, John crossed his arms across his chest. "Yes, I had hoped to get a clearer view of the land and scenario, but if the planetary inhabitants are just containing the changelings the situation could worsen rapidly. We need more direct intel and the only way to do that is to send in a land based probe."
After he let out a breath, Daniel shared a look with the other Officers and government employees before he turned and said the words the science team had been waiting for. "We're all in agreement then, you are cleared to begin preparations to launch Rover."
"And after that," General John said grimly, "the Avenger."
---------
As she set up her telescope, Twilight had to hold back a grin at the sound of the water running in her bathroom. "So I take it that 'Cutie Mark Crusaders Chemists' did not work out nearly as well as you thought that it would?"
There was a grunt before Andrew's voice drifted out. "It would have gone perfectly well, except someone left a jar with hunks of sodium inside of it out in plain view."
A blush lit up Twilight's face as she remembered she was missing a jar and that the Crusaders had come by to get supplies from her for their Crusading. "Huh... fancy that..." Andrew poked his head out and gave her a suspicious look at her tone, but could only see the back of Twilight's head as she stuck it into a box. "Doesn't explain why you were covered in tree sap..."
As he sighed, getting the last few bits of twigs and leaves from his hair, Andrew rolled his eyes. "Well, the Crusaders thought it was cool that the sodium caught fire and even exploded on contact with water, so they threw some into puddles... and then Sweetie Belle slipped and the whole jar flew into a hole in a tree, one which was filled with water..."
Her telescope finally set up, Twilight looked through the eyepiece and frowned as she made her adjustments. "Huh, I remember having fun with sodium when I was a filly... like throwing chunks into the snowbanks ahead of these other, older fillies that bullied me."
The Human could only blink as he stopped and dried his hands. 'Never would have figured for her for something like that.' Then again, with her “For SCIENCE!” attitude it was not terribly hard to imagine. Once again, he thanked God and Celestia she had turned out one of the good guys. He shook it off and looked over his shoulder.
"Really, now?"
While she nervously chuckled, Twilight scanned the sky. "Well... yes, I..."
Andrew frowned a bit. "Yes, you... what?"
With a blink, Twilight pulled away from her telescope and gestured at him. "Andrew... can you come here for a moment?" Once he reached her, Andrew bent down and looked through the eyepiece as Twilight kept it steady in her magic. "What exactly am I supposed to be looking at...? Wait, what is that?"
As she shared a similar expression, Twilight looked up into the sky where she could see the barest hints of a shooting star as it began to burn. "... I had been hoping that you could tell me..."
Andrew narrowed his eyes and focused intently. Twilight took hold of the telescope with her magic and guided it with more precision than the human’s clumsy hands could have managed. The shooting star burned brightly, brighter and brighter, slowing almost imperceptibly. The light began to die, but the object continued on a directed course across the sky.
“It seems to be shifting its mass,” Twilight concluded, doing a number of calculations. “Like it’s under piloted… Control…” She slowly looked over at Shepherd. His eyes widened, as realization hit him.
“Oh… Snap,” he muttered. “Can you trace the course?”
“I can guess,” Twilight said grimly. “It’s headed for the Everfree Forest.”
“Well,” Shepherd said, eyebrows raised, “I guess we’d better go-”
“Tell Princess Celestia immediately, and begin work on plans for non-hostile first contact!” Twilight declared dramatically. She looked over at Shepherd and smiled.
“As for you… You can begin work on the hostile first contact plans.”
Shepherd rolled his eyes.
“You know, your species also repelled an alien invasion. Not sure why everyone keeps building me up into some kind of memetic badass.”
“True, but you are the violent crazy monkeys who rode a space warship powered by nuclear bombs,” Twilight said with a wry smile. Shepherd sighed.
“Never going to live that down, am I? Even though I had nothing to do with it. And they might not know about us.”
“True, but if they do, it always helps to have a trump card,” Twilight said with a sage nod.
“Fine, but if they freak out more at talking ponies than me, you owe me,” Shepherd said. Twilight sighed.
“All right…”
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I liked this chapter.
That was well and truly worth the wait.
Take me to your leader
Or is it too soon?
5158002
"truly worth the weight."
Fixed that for you.
5158063
Oh dear, that will complicate things. Looking forward to more.
Keep up the good work. Deus tecum.
Good
Well humanity seems somewhat reasonable, although I'm fairly sure theyre be baying for chrysalis's head.
Also, needs another look over in the editing department. Several instances of capital letters being needed.
Considering how cute ponies are, for the most part, I doubt first contact will be anything but a lot of cooing and wanting to pet the ponies despite military training telling the crew it's unprofessional to "squee" and cuddle a confused alien pony. (I'm certain Lyra would be ecstatic and trying to hog all the belly rubs for herself)
Now, if it's changelings. Well, tally-ho and fire at will. And survivor changelings will either mimic the underside of a rock for the rest of their lives or go running for Celestia and plead hastily for asylum. When humans chase after you through time and space, you know you're royally screwed.
Only me that noticed the two confirmed changeling sites bit?
Or have I just forgotten something thanks to the long dormancy?
5158163 was this a play on how humans can dramatically overreact to a potential threat or something? I don't really get it.
Nope.
5158833
Yep, ask anyone who has had to deal with the Starship Enterprise, be it Krik¡s Archer's Picards, or anyone's, that ship is designed to be awesome by name alone. That ship alone is a memetic badass.
You know, when I first read this story; I was apprehensive, as a rule, I'm weary about Human in Equestria fics, for the same cliches that appear often, and yet, they appear here as well but the difference is that they are done WELL, this is the one HIE to rule them all. This fic is fun. I wonder how Discord and Andrew's interactions go? Probably him trolling our favorite human.
Just do not drag this story out longer then it should be.
*sighs* Looks like it's time to possibly torment my younger brother (if it's the same Harry Leferts from Space Battles.com). Besides, there's a name there that I recognise.
Wait, I thought Earth got destroyed? Or did I just miss something...
Well, well, well. Now this is interesting. I kind of wonder how they haven't noticed the unique relation to the sun. And just how they'll react to the ponies in general. THAT part, I wager, will get a bit messy. Especially with the whole 'magic' thing and that fact that two are powerful enough to move celestial bodies. Yeah, that's gonna spook some folk.
5158017 Never too soon for that.
5159915 Huh, I thought it was a reference from Alien:
Very nice so far with this. Eager to see the next.^^
We REALLY need to build a craft like that. Explosion-faboy wanting Humanity to look like insane badasses aside, it'd put some of our non-use nuclear arsenal to good use.
5159915
I found a Sonic-verse spinoff comic doing that.
>>They came up with this concept in the 60s. Called it Project Orion. It would have let us lift cities worth of payloads into space without the need for rockets. And hey, I'd prefer using atomic bombs to power spaceships to Mars and Jupiter than blowing up cities.
Well, it's getting interesting...So, please update more.
OR else! mwuhahahahaha!
Huh? Intrusion?
Bwahaha. And instead of Nuclear, they went all Megaspell on their asses
Well. That's awfully nice of them
And cautious, I guess. They figured out they got to industrial level with less emission. This means they may have some not-too-obvious superior technology at their disposal. "Don't piss off unknown aliens" is always a good tactic.
Hmm. Wondering what this is going to be.
Wait. Are they really so dumb that they don't consider that all these unguided pack animals they see going around might be the sapient inhabitants of the planet?
That's right, bitches. Weather control
I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say they already noticed your toys from the unscheduled meteor storms.
Oh, have they realized the whole geocentric solar system anomaly yet?
Oh, huh. So they really can't get pictures of the inhabitants, then. I see
Dumb humans. Why would they send their probe right into a place that's not only awful for any Rover to get through, but is also the confirmed location of the hostiles? Do they want their probe broken in a matter of hours? Just send it to flat terrain, sheesh!
---
I, um, noted down errors I spotted as I read through, and, uhh... I assume this was never preread or edited in any way?
Anyway, here are my remarks and corrections:
> The Russian, Dmitry then spoke up
Another comma after "Dmitry"; it's a non-essential clause.
> Then we're decided then?
Double "then"... looks rather odd. Is this intentional or an error?
> one of the few facilities of it's kind
"of [its] kind". "it's" == "it is". When in doubt, expand it.
> higher on the list then Canada
"higher on the list [than] Canada"
> As you know John, one of the things
"John" is an addressing term. Comma both before and after it.
> making due with small things
The idiom is "making [do] with".
> and on the cheap.Won't be able to see far
Missing space between the sentences.
> As observed the missile get close
Missing word: "As [he] observed the missile get close"
> As he watched the activity around him as did his Canadian counterpart, John grunted and turned to a nearby station.
Kind of an awkward sentence, that.
> The tech, a Eric MacPherson from memory
"[an] Eric MacPherson"
> the planet is definitely Earth like
"Earth-like"
> "So they don't use as many fossil fuels as we do?" Asked the President's representative
Should not have a capital letter on "asked".
> and here Johnson, the representative fidgeted,"he wants to make it clear
Comma after "the representative" (same as the first; non-essential clause), and there's a missing space before the quote.
> Eventually, the oblong shaped satellite moved into it's orbit
"into [its] orbit"
> as the alien sunlight struck it's solar panels
"[its] solar panels"
You really have a problem with those, hm? It really isn't that hard: whenever you write "its" or "it's", replace it by "it is" and see if it fits. If it doesn't, it should be "its". (Though, the occasional one could be "it has", as in, "it's been nice" :p)
> impacting a ocean
"impacting [an] ocean"
> "Well yes General.
Comma before "General"; it's an addressing term.
> if you take a look of this
"[If] you take a look [at] this"
> Well since we we were unsure
double "we"
> Since then, we have determined there to be a acceptable perimeter that there appears to be no orbital defences at all, we have been able to prune back the stealth qualities (etc)
Another really awkward-sounding sentence. Also, "[an] acceptable perimeter", and "there [appear] to be no orbital defences".
> as he state the one fact that was still getting to people.
"as he [stated] the one fact"
> No need to give us a dissertation,"
This is not a "s/he said" construction, meaning this quote should simply end on a period.
> what was not told."You don' t mean..."
Missing space before the quote.
> showing north america similar fast motion
"North America" - capitalize that. Also, I think that should be "showing North America [in/with] similar fast motion"
> However I digress, what is most notable is
Comma splice. Should be two separate sentences: "However, I digress. What is most notable is (etc)"
> Its a pity the sensors just aren't strong enough
"[It's] a pity". As in, "it is".
> but its doubtful we'd be able to discern anything
"but [it's] doubtful". Again, "it is".
> Having shared a look with his counterpart, the Canadian General, Mike Bernard, sighed.
Should be "John sighed" after that last comma.
> "It seems we have no choice than..."
I believe that should be "then", not "than".
> "We're all in agreement then, you are cleared to begin preparations to launch Rover."
Comma splice. Should be a new sentence at "you are cleared".
5163052 Ah. Good point. Perhaps... hmm... what if she's bad at math, but good at memory and structured thinking?
Always nice to get a chapter of this story. I hope this story arch is a rough one. Makes the pay off better.
5163629 Alas, I left the proofing up to Leferts. Thanks for putting in the work to find everything wrong.
And yes, Earth leadership is being remarkably common sense about their approach. Besides, if things go wrong, they'll have the Avenger to nuke the shit out of the planet.
And no, they haven't noticed the strange solar system alignment yet.
And then they find out about Shep's quirky harem - A pegasus, a unicorn and, oh, the changeling queen herself - and very literally shit a brick.
So, there's a spacetime anomaly that's somehow in geosynchronous orbit? Huh. Okay, then.
In any case, the perspective shift was quite neat. I do love me some dramatic irony. Definitely looking forward to more.
Wait...I thought you said...Ahhh, nevermind
I don't particularly like bein' lied to but this does look like an interestin' development
Oooo, I like this new story arc.
New story arc with humans making first contact with ponies, and ponies making first (or is it second?) contact with humans, with the preconceived notion that the human race excels at warfare, and has deadly, futuristic tech that beats out Equestria's by a few thousand years....
derpicdn.net/img/2012/12/1/168770/full.png
I think I just fangasmed way too much.
I imagine a scenario starting with a friendly first meeting, only to go south quickly when the humans find the changelings. This leads to much conclusion jumping and misunderstandings. Worst case? Pony/Human war
Two tiny nitpicks:
The word you want is "Shear" -- from dictionary.com:
19. Physics. the lateral deformation produced in a body by an external force, expressed as the ratio of the lateral displacement between two points lying in parallel planes to the vertical distance between the planes.
Sheer means transparent or unqualified/utter/pure or steep/vertical/perpendicular.
and:
should be "As the probe continued on,"...
In any case -- I do like this story, thanks for working on it.
5164962
FIGURATIVELY, YOU FOOL!
Psh, nothing important ever happens in Denton.
5183894 Literally shitting a brick is far more hilarious!
Nuclear powah!
Aw, no more Crystal Empire? Oh, wait, if this takes place after Season 4, then....
I've read so many of these stories that the only thing I remember is the main characters names and a tiny bit of plot lol
5168058 Stay tuned for the next chapter July 2055
5219973 I thought the next chapter was in June 2056
5239614
Ah, Thank you. I knew something felt off when I posted it.
Did you know polygamy exists?
5336105
Sir, you done just replied to a REALLY OLD COMMENT.
Thanks anyways, found my fav story, The Chase.
To make this that much more epic.
"We defeated the Changelings with NUCLEAR POWER!"
"We defeated the Changelings with LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP!"
5380891 "...with LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP and weapons made by a blacksmith and 3 little fillies."
But mostly, love and friendship...