//------------------------------// // Thirty-Five // Story: Hands // by Andrew Joshua Talon //------------------------------// Hands A My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction By Andrew J. Talon DISCLAIMER: This is a non-profit fanbased work of prose. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is the property of Hasbro, and the reinvention of the lovely Lauren Faust. No copyright infringement is intended, please support the official release. - - - - Now of course, it's been a long time. And again, I'm aborting another story arc that frankly, was going nowhere. This story is best done as fun one shots of the zany adventures of a human in Equestria. Cut off from his homeworld. Who has to adjust to romantic misadventures, and make snarky comments about dumb shit. So that's how things will go! And yes, it's been a while. So let's see if I can still make you guys laugh. - - - The Ponyville Hospital. Same sterile scent, same plain white walls, same hospital bed. Seriously, I think they've started to reserve this room for me. Of course, there is one major difference from the other times I've come here.  "I really don't know why I'm here," I stated simply. "I wasn't actually doing anything dangerous this time." Twilight Sparkle was at my side, and Fluttershy was at my other side. The rest of her friends were in the room as well: Pinkie Pie was juggling cupcakes, catching them and deciding whether to eat them, while Applejack, Rarity, Spike and Rainbow Dash looked deeply concerned. Nurse Redheart shook her head, giving me a glare. "Oh really? What was he doing?" She looked over at Applejack, the Element of Honesty. The mare shook her head in disbelief and guilt, as Twilight eyed her. "Nothin'! Ah mean, he was helpin' bring in a barrel o' apples! Weren't that heavy! Then all of a sudden he jest-jest collapsed!" "He fainted like Fluttershy when she first saw a stallion lick his lips!" Dash said. I scowled. "I didn't faint! I... Passed out! Probably from hunger or something. Or maybe I've been working too hard, not getting enough sleep," I rambled. I shook my head. "I just passed out, all right? It's not a big deal, nopony has to freak out or anything-" Nurse Redheart got up into my face, her nose pushing up against mine. She pushed me back against the pillows, her blue eyes glaring hard. I gulped in fear. "Listen you reckless, stupid human! And listen good!" She poked the center of my chest hard with the point of her hoof. I blinked as she pulled back a bit. "Okay," I said.  She pulled out a series of X-Rays on translucent sheets, and put them onto a light display. There were numerous shots of my ribs, my arms, and legs. She pointed at several points, where web-like lines were fanning out across my bones. I blinked a few times, as Twilight and Fluttershy gasped in horror. Rainbow Dash looked on in disbelief. "See these?" Nurse Redhead demanded. "THESE are stress fractures! All across the surfaces of your bones! And that's not all!" She hoofed over another folder to Twilight, which contained several sheets of paper. All covered in what appeared to be test results. "These are your test results! You've been stressing yourself so badly your muscles and internal organs are starting to eat themselves!" "... Oh," I mumbled. Nurse Redheart shook her head in disbelief.  "Honestly, what have you been doing to yourself?!" "Wellll," Pinkie Pie began, poking her hooves together, "he fights a Manticore on a weekly basis, fights dragons, he fought a Changeling Queen, he works as a construction worker without proper safety protocols, he let himself get teleported by Spike's dragon fire, he goes on adventures with us-" "Thank you!" I hissed. I shook my head and looked over at Nurse Redheart. "Um, so... How bad are we talking?" "What therapy would work for him, Nurse Redheart?" Twilight asked earnestly. "What magic spells would help him?" "There are several magical therapies that can help him recover," the white pony stated, hard as steel, "but none of it matters if he keeps pushing himself like this!" She glared. "Under my authority as a medical expert in Ponyville on mammals and reptilians, you cannot do your handyman work or anything else dangerous for a period of no less than six months! It's too harmful!" "What?!" I gasped. "Redheart, I can't-It's my job-!" "Look!" Redheart said with a glare, "either you stop putting yourself through this for at least six months so the magical therapies can work, or you get to spend the rest of your life in a hospital bed! Which would make you an even bigger burden than you think you are!" Ouch. She didn't mince words. That hit me right in the pride. I looked over at Fluttershy. "Fluttershy, you're an expert on animals like me. Is what she says true? Is there anything else that would work? Help me recover." "Um, well," Fluttershy began, poking her hooves together nervously, "there are therapies that can help speed your recovery... But the Nurse is right. You need to take it easy! You've been pushing yourself way too hard, you know. I'm so concerned." I winced. Nopony but Fluttershy could make me feel this amount of guilt. Still... "Ah... Come on, I don't push myself that hard," I said. I looked around at everypony else. "Right?" "Darling," Rarity began slowly, "this is you we're talking about. I mean, you're quite... Um..." "Squishy!" Pinkie Pie said happily. "Which makes you great for hugs! But maaaaybe not so great for all that fighting? Right now, anyway." "It's just six months, Shepherd," Twilight said gently, resting a hoof on my shoulder. "Think of it as an opportunity to explore new career options! New possibilities!" "Or like a vacation!" Rainbow Dash said with a grin. "I mean, it's not like you've spent all the bits you got when ya got made Sword of Equestria, right?" "I get paid for that?" I asked in disbelief. I shook my head. "I-Look. Six months is way too long, there has to be another way-" "Andrew," Twilight said gently, and I looked right at her. She looked right into my eyes, her own filled with deep concern. "Andrew, please. Six months is not a lot to ask for if it means you get to live your life to the fullest." "I..." I looked back at Fluttershy. No help there, she was just as guilt inducing as everypony else. I sighed and rubbed my cheek.  "All right, all right. Six months of magic therapy it is," I said. I leaned back in my hospital bed and crossed my arms over my chest. I shrugged. "How bad could it be?" I asked. I winced, as Rarity smirked.  "Let's all forget I said that," I immediately said, quickly. - - -