Hands
A My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
By Andrew J. Talon
DISCLAIMER: This is a non-profit fanbased work of prose. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is the property of Hasbro, and the reinvention of the lovely Lauren Faust. No copyright infringement is intended, please support the official release.
- - - - - -
"So, the cut on your cheek is another sign," I repeated Twilight as Nurse Redheart looked my shoulder over. I'd had to put up with her tut-tutting but at least she wasn't being sarcastic. Even while on a housecall. She was the picture of a professional.
"You know, for a species that relies so heavily on it's hands, you sure enjoy putting them at severe risk," Redheart muttered flatly.
Very professional.
Twilight Sparkle nodded. "Exactly! You saw my future self." She got up close and lifted her face so I could see her cheek. And there it was, the cut on her cheek.
"Yeah, but, well, it's just one sign," I said reasonably. "Maybe the others won't come truuuuaaaHHHHH!"
"There," Nurse Redheart said in satisfaction. She nodded and smiled. "Take it easy..." She glared. "Or else."
"Yes ma'am," I said. She nodded and turned to Fluttershy.
"Please make sure he takes it easy," she told her. She looked at Twilight briefly, who was flipping through a book with frantic turns of the pages, and lowered her voice. "And her too..."
"I'm fine," Twilight emphasized. "What's not fine is Ponyville! We've only got a few days left to figure out what's going to happen and prevent it!"
"Well yeah," I said as Redheart left the library, "but then you'd end up with a paradox."
"Um, a what?" Asked Fluttershy.
"Paradox! A temporal paradox. Like, um..." Twilight turned to Fluttershy and nodded. "All right. Let's say you went backwards in time and killed your own grandmother."
Fluttershy gasped. "Th-That's terrible! I'd never do that! Poor Gram, I'd never-What kind of horrible pony would I be-"
"You wouldn't actually do it, it's just an example!" Twilight said. "You'd never be born to actually do the deed!"
"... So... What happens?" Fluttershy asked.
"Nobody's really sure," I explained. "The universe might blow up, or Time Bats might eat you..." I waved my hands around. "Causality is a bitch you don't want to piss off."
"That's Tourbillon's view of time travel, yes," Twilight said. "But there's also Fausses Côtes' theory of time as a..." She pulled out what I assumed was the requisite book and skimmed it, "'big wibbly wobbly ball of timey-wimey stuff.'"
I couldn't help a little laugh. Fluttershy and Twilight both looked at me and I shook my head.
"Ah, no, no, continue."
"The basic idea is that time is fluid, and it's possible to change it's direction," Twilight said. She shut the book, determined. "And I have to believe that's possible! Otherwise, Ponyville is doomed!"
"Well Twilight," I said, rubbing my shoulder, "there is the fact your future self didn't actually say anything about that."
"No, but what else could my appearance mean?" Twilight asked. "I mean, I looked haggard! I looked desperate! I looked..." She shook her head. "No, we've got to save Ponyville! Nothing else is as important right now!"
Fluttershy and I shared a look. I coughed. Fluttershy awkwardly kicked the floor with her hoof.
"Uh, well-"
"Nothing," Twilight emphasized. She rested her hooves on my shoulder and looked me in the eyes, so desperate and fearful but determined. "Please Andrew, I need to know I can count on you."
I wrapped my arms around her and hugged my girlfriend close. I nodded.
"You can. Don't worry," I said. She sighed in relief and hugged me back tightly. I looked over her shoulder at Fluttershy, who looked herself a bit nervous. Still, she nodded to me in silent agreement and I returned the expression.
Spike walked in, tossing spoon fulls of ice cream into his mouth right from the container. I blinked.
"Spike? What's your deal?"
"Well, if we're going to break time, then to Tartarus with causality!" He gulped down another spoon full and grinned.
"And if we can't change the future?" I asked dryly. Spike shrugged.
"Future Spike's problem..."
- - - - - -
So, I was a tiny bit concerned for Twilight. Okay, very concerned. And given Nurse Redheart's orders, it was only natural for me to stay with her for the night. Fluttershy politely departed, and we shared another extremely awkward look that... Well frankly, anyone could have misconstrued. Or construed, if they concluded we'd had an awkward and potentially romantic moment.
Fortunately, Twilight was too involved in saving Ponyville to notice. And Spike was too engrossed in ice cream.
I kept Twilight company well into the night, helping her get books to read for research into time travel and potential threats that might face Ponyville. Frankly, it was a little mind boggling all the horrors that had been recorded, theorized or speculated upon, ranging from alien invasion to a minor deity wresting control of a stellar body and dropping it onto the planet.
It reminded me of a Larry Niven story, part of his The Magic Goes Away series.
"See, magic is a non renewable energy source," I explained, "that comes from the sun via solar wind. But a god has been blocking it so magic's been vanishing. But a group of wizards find another god who is willing to drop the moon onto Earth in order to bring back magic, which the wizards are happy about..."
"Until they learn just how big the moon is, right?" Twilight finished thoughtfully. I smiled and nodded.
"Yeah, that was a pretty definitive 'oh crap' moment..." I yawned and looked over at the clock. I looked back at Twilight.
"We really should get to bed," I said.
Twilight shook her head, summoning a few more books to read through. "There's gotta be something, something that can give us a clue or an idea...!"
I reached over and yanked the book away, grimacing as her telekinetic power held it firm. "Twilight, we've been at it for hours! We need to sleep!"
"Nngh...! You can go to sleep, I'm going to keep at it!" Twilight grunted, yanking the book right out of my hands. She shook her head at me and reopened it, skimming the pages. "We can't waste a minute! Ponyville is counting on us!"
I sighed. This was potentially dangerous... But...
"Then you leave me no choice," I said gravely. I dashed across the room, slid behind her, and brought my hands down on her back.
"Eep!" She dropped the book as I dug my fingers in deep. "Ah! A-Andrew, don't...!"
"You are as stiff as iron," I grunted as I gave the massage my all, kneading the knots out of her muscles. "You can't save Ponyville like this."
"Ahh... N-No, don't," Twilight groaned, throwing her head back and trembling. "You-You can't, ahhh...!"
"I can, and I will," grimly I continued my task, working behind her neck, then back down over her sides. I tickled her stomach a bit and she giggled.
"Ahahaha! N-No, stop, stop!"
"Give in," I said, my fingers ruthlessly dancing over her belly. She laughed aloud and shook her head.
"N-No! Heheheheh! St-Stop it, ahahahaha-O-Okay! Okay! I give!"
I moved my hands away from her stomach, but I continued a lighter massage on her back just to keep her from getting any ideas. She moaned throatily, a somewhat disturbing development, and looked over her shoulders at me with a blush.
"Um... So... You'll sleep with me?" She asked.
"Uh... Yes, definitely," I said, assuming the best possible interpretation of that. I gave her a wry smile. "I'm not sleeping on the floor."
"Good," Twilight said with a nod. "Um... There is an experiment I've been meaning to try, but uh... It's going to throw off the whole schedule."
"What is it?" I asked.
"It's to see how well I can maintain a spell in my sleep," she said softly. "And to see how it effects my sleep. And it might make you more comfortable..." She looked up into my eyes. "Would that be okay with you?"
"Of course," I said with a smile.
Anything to help her get some rest.
- - - - - -
Some time later, I was staring up at the ceiling, rigid as a board as a mostly human, very naked Twilight Sparkle cuddled up to me and snored softly.
"Mmm... Twenty-one point one gigawatts," she mumbled as she drooled on my shoulder, and the... Ahem... Softer parts of her anatomy pressed against my side.
I sighed and closed my eyes tightly.
"Anything to make her relax, anything to make her relax..."
Though naturally, it didn't do much for me...
- - - - - - -
I managed to catch a little sleep, caught between comfort and awkwardness. My dreams were quite pleasant, actually. Though really not the kind you'd share, see? Wouldn't want to make anyone feel uncomfortable.
Like me. Anyway, I woke up first with a condition many a man has at the start of the day. Particularly in my case given how much stress I'd been under.
"Need to pee," I mumbled as I slowly pulled myself away from Twilight. She hummed and mumbled in her sleep, nuzzling against her pillow.
I made my way to her bathroom, which, while smaller than what I was used to was at least functional. I did my business, and then left, rubbing the back of my neck. I could smell coffee on the air, and I made my way into the kitchen.
"Spike?" I said.
"Well, you guys weren't too noisy despite everything," Spike said with a little smirk. I scowled back.
"You're a bundle of laughs, Barney Jr," I said, pouring myself some coffee. I dumped milk and sugar in abundant quantities into it. Spike rolled his eyes.
"You know, making cultural references to your world that we don't know is really mature."
"It's more a matter of habit," I said, waiting for Spike to hold up a cup of apple juice up to mouth, "like your tail stiffening up around Rarity."
Spike didn't spew the juice out of his mouth, but he did choke and cough satisfyingly. He shot me an angry glare as I smiled back serenely.
"No worse than you stiffening up around Twilight..." He grinned, "and Fluttershy."
I very slowly lowered my mug. "Nothing happened."
"You two don't look like nothing happened," Spike said darkly.
"That's because nothing happened," I emphasized.
"Good." The baby dragon leaned forward and locked a deadly glare on me. "Look, Twilight can drive me crazy, but if you break her heart I'll burn you to ashes," Spike growled.
I met his stare evenly, and lifted my mug back to my lips. I sipped it, my eyes never leaving his.
"Understood," I said, very calmly.
"Good," Spike said. He grinned and took out another ice cream container, opening it and digging in. I dug into my own breakfast, feeling more than a little perturbed.
Twilight soon came down, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes... With hands.
"Ah! Twilight! You're... Still in human form, I see," I said, my eyes trying not to stay above her chest. Well, above her waist.
... Shut up.
"Well, I have to admit, while it's very different, it's kind of... nice," She said with a smile. She stretched her arms up overhead, and then down between her legs. "It's fascinating! Your form says so much about you! How you walk, how you talk, how you communicate with your body language..."
Yes, her body language was definitely saying quite a few things to me. I looked aside, coughing.
"Uh..."
"Mm? Something wrong?" Twilight asked. She walked up to the table and sat down, digging into her bowl of hot oats.
"Er... Well..."
"I mean, I know you wear clothes all the time but I find this more comfortable," she continued conversationally. "And these hands are very useful!" She grinned and held up bowls and cups with both her hands and telekinesis. "I've got the best of both worlds!"
"Definitely," I said, my eyes once again dipping down.
"You're not going to go around like that all the time, are you?" Spike said with a knowing grin at me.
"Of course not, I'm a pony through and through," Twilight sniffed. "But my magical abilities do allow me to take advantage of different forms, so..." And she eyed me with a little smile. "I might try it out from time to time."
"Ah... Aha... Great," I said with a tight smile. I shot a glare at Spike, who looked innocent.
"But! That's all beside the point," Twilight said. "I've been doing some thinking about the disaster that's coming on Tuesday. I think there's only one possibility left of a disaster."
"What?" I asked.
"Future Twilight told me to not do something," she said. "Maybe if I don't do anything, then nothing will happen!"
"Sounds like a great plan to me!" Spike said with a grin, and another gulp of ice cream.
"All right," I said with a nod. "Just stay around here for the next few days, nothing bad happens. I like this, it's very logical."
"Unfortunately, I still don't know what that thing is," she said with a scowl.
"So, what will you do?" I asked.
She smiled. "Absolutely, positively nothing." She stood up and came back down onto all fours. "I just have to stay like this until Tuesday, and nothing bad can happen!" She frowned again.
"Unless me turning into a human is what I did to cause the disaster!"
"How could turning into a human bring about the disaster?" I asked.
"Considering how big a trouble magnet you are, it seems perfectly logical to me," Spike snarked. I glared at him.
"Not funny."
- - - - - -
Perhaps leaving Twilight to sit around motionless in her own home wasn't the best idea, but she was running low on some groceries and Spike could be trusted to look after her. Besides, it was a lot less... Distracting out here in the sunshine at the marketplace.
It's actually kind of amazing how much of the technology and architecture the ponies have is similar to our own, not to mention the plantlife. I mean, they had everything we have as far as I could tell, though plenty of variations-They had normal bananas as well as ones in blue, red, even a black variety that tasted a little like licorice. They had flowers I could readily identify as something like daisies and roses but others I hadn't the slightest clue about.
Though in fairness, nature on Earth can get pretty damn creative so maybe what was exotic to me was just something else shared with Equestria.
One thing I was thankful for was the fact this world had... Yes...
"Peaches!" I said with a grin. I looked up at the merchant. "How much?"
"Four bits a peach," he said in a business-like tone. I scowled.
"Four bits? They were one bit a peach last week!"
"Last week Applanta didn't have a frost, four bits," he said gruffly. I checked my money bag. I grimaced.
"Look, why don't we do some bargaining?" I asked. "Two bits a peach. I'll buy a lot."
"And I'll have less, supply and demand, four bits!" The merchant said flatly.
"Excuse me," said Fluttershy. "Is there a problem?"
The merchant turned a wary eye on Fluttershy. "Uh... No, Miss Fluttershy," he said. Fluttershy smiled pleasantly.
"Maybe you should take the two bits offer. It can't be that big a loss, can it?" She suggested. "I mean, to keep Andrew coming."
I stared over at Fluttershy, and then over at the merchant. I shrugged, trying to appear neutral. "If you'd like my continued patronage, that is."
"Certainly," the merchant said, now much more agreeable. I got myself a nice bunch of peaches, and he made a nice pile of coins. We were soon walking the marketplace, more than a little awkwardly.
"Not that I'm ungrateful, but uh," I began. Fluttershy coughed and looked aside.
"Sorry... He was um... Kind of rude to me before Iron Will, and all that," she said.
"And after?" I asked. Fluttershy blushed.
"I um... I apologized after, but... Er..."
"Say no more," I said, raising a hand. "Frankly, you can be very, very intimidating."
"Oh... Um... Thank you, I guess," she said. "So, uh... Did you tell her?"
"What?" I asked, stopping. "What do you mean, 'did I tell her?' Of course I didn't! We agreed, right?"
"Agreed? We didn't agree," Fluttershy said. "We didn't talk at all-"
"I mean, when I nodded at you when I was hugging her, I was telling you that 'maybe it'd be better if we didn't tell her right now given her state'," I said. Fluttershy blinked.
"You said all that? Oh my, I didn't miss anything... Was it an alien signal? Are you telepathic? Are you-"
"No! No, I just assumed that we could just... Uh..." Oh boy. Judging from the look she was developing... Okay, think fast alien boy.
"What?" Fluttershy asked.
"... Not talk to her about it at all," I said. "I mean... You don't want to hurt her feelings, neither do I."
"No," Fluttershy said, "but concealing it from her would make me feel simply awful."
"It was just a...!" I looked around at the ponies walking around nearby, and lowered my voice. "It was just a kiss, no big deal."
"Just a... No big...?" Fluttershy asked, lip trembling. I held up my hands.
"I-I mean, we didn't... There are levels to, to this sort of thing, and..."
She had tears at the corners of her eyes. I shook my head rapidly.
Bail out Andrew! Bail out!
"I mean, what I mean is... Is...! I like you a lot, but we're... Uh..."
"I-I can't talk anymore," Fluttershy sniffled. "I'm sorry!" She flew off rapidly.
"Fluttershy, wait!" I called after her. "I didn't mean...!" I groaned, and hit the side of my head. "Great..."
Just great...
I took out a peach and took a bite. I grimaced.
And these aren't very good...
- - - - - -
Behold, Andrew Shepherd: First human being to meet aliens and then make them cry.