Episode 19 [CMC]: Please welcome to the show the Cutie Mark Crusaders
Series: Equestrian interviews
Interviewer: Jon Stewart
Guest: Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo (The Cutie Mark Crusaders)
Date: ???
Location: Daily Show headquarters
733 11th Avenue Manhattan, NY 10019
THIS IS THE DAILY SHOW WITH JON STEWART
The Daily Show was not what one could consider appropriate for children and as such Daily Show Headquarters was not well known for having young visitors; and for good reason. Between photoshopping Donald Trump to look like he was riding atop a giant penis and having interns and writers get naked and photographed so that later the head of a politician could be pasted over in a stark allegory for rampant American Capitalism... the Daily Show work place was not considered child friendly.
So when came into work that morning he came prepared. Driving to work early he had intern after intern sweep the office to do away with any inappropriate content that could be seen by younger eyes. And when he had the dressing rooms ready for the three fillies he disconnected the TV so they couldn't watch the first two segments of his show.
He also decreed that any and all expletives were not allowed that day and to refrain from adult conversation; he basically wanted them to act either around their grandma or in church. It was an odd thing to to request at place like Daily Show Headquarters but once the three fillies arrived it all made sense.
Everyone from lowly interns to executive veterans came to greet the tiny ponies and comment on how more adorable they were than previous guests which some believed to be impossible. Everyone instantly fell in love with them and wanted to take them home... all that is except for Selina.
Another precaution Jon took was having Selina swing by his house to pick them up and drive them around the city for a little bit. At first she was a bit flattered that he trusted her so much with handling not just one but three guests at once, but it was only when she discovered that they were kids did she realize that Jon simply did not want that responsibility.
As a chaperone she knew exactly how to handle kids. When she was in college she made money babysitting for friends and family but with three mythical animals she was slightly out of her element. When she arrived the cast welcomed the three young mares but didn’t noticed that Selina herself looked exhausted with unkempt hair and a messy pants suit like she had just been through a wind tunnel.
Jon recognized this all too well as it was the same exact look he used to sport back when his kids were still in diapers. For the next few hours the three fillies stayed in their dressing room being worked on by staff members or entertained by interns with Selina too tired to do much of anything else.
This meant that Jon had a choice of either taking care of his guests or working to get the show up and running while his staff took care of Applebloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle. He chose the former and continued to do so until it was time for the show to start.
With everyone counting the minutes till the main event the second to last commercial of the show ended with stock footage of the street just outside Daily Show Headquarters before the logo of the show swooped into transition the camera to Jon who was at this table busily scribbling down on his notes.
When the camera got closer he then changed pace by pretending to play the drums as the audience continued to cheer and applause as if he really was a musician. Without warning, he very briefly stood to his feet to wave at the audience who seemed particularly electrified on this episode, most likely because before the first segment even started he told them of what to expect. Namely that the guest this time around actually came in pairs of three.
Turning his head to the side Jon wanted to make sure everything was properly set up. Backstage he saw crew members and interns gathered around waiting on standby just in case but at the forefront were the three individuals he wanted to make sure were actually present. The these young ones has a propensity for wandering off but they looked as ready to start the show as Jon was which he did the moment he sat back down.
“Hey everybody welcome back to the Daily Show. Our guests tonight!” Jon yelled over the crowd as he put emphasis on the fact that there were more than one. “They are three... adorable children from the world of Equestria who when put together form the secret society known as the Cutie Mark Crusaders.”
“Let me tell ya, the initiation to get a show on Comedy Central is a thousand times worse .” Jon added which caused a small handful of audience members cheer at him. “Please welcome to the show: Applebloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle also known as members and founders of the Cutie Mark Crusaders!”
Jon could remember very clearly the last time the crowd cheered this loudly, it was during the last installment of Equestrian Interviews when he had both Lyra and her mate Bon Bon as his guests. Back then he assumed their extra loud cheering was due to the fact that it was two ponies rather than just the standard one. This time around having three confirmed his suspicions.
The amount of cheering was so deafening that, had the camera stayed on Jon a few seconds longer, those watching at home would have seen Jon finch as the roaring crowd stood to yell. Their voices carried far with such a high volume, as if they were attempting to compensate for there being three guests by cheering three interviews worth of praise. This in practice made the three young fillies not come out at first since they were spooked by this sudden explosion of encouragement.
Jon thought about getting up to see what was wrong but he soon found himself walking across the stage for a different reason. After a few seconds of mental preparation on the part of the guests the audience was soon treated to the sight of three young fillies walking on stage with an equally young looking woman following them.
Meeting them halfway on stage Jon carefully got down on one knee, in such a way that his back wouldn’t ack afterwards, to give each ponie a quick shake before turning to the audience and wave. Usually Jon had a very specific reason for meeting a guest in front of the audience like this rather than waiting for them to come to the desk and this time around it was for those watching to get a good look at the three guests before the interview began.
With the three young ladies now following Jon’s example by waving at the guests with varying degrees of enthusiasm those in attendance took note at who was at bat this time around. An orange pegasus with messy purple hair, a light grey shaded Unicorn with properly kept swirly pink and purple hair, and finally an off yellow Earthpony with light crimson hair that complimented the giant pink bow she wore atop of it.
In terms of diversity these three couldn't be any more different appearance wise with the only noticeable thing they all had in common, aside from age and gender, being that none of them had cutie marks. It had been a recurring tradition for some viewers to first look at the flanks of ponies coming on stage in order to get some kind of a hint as to who these ponies were or what they did.
Usually Jon would tell them before hand thus spoiling the surprise and other times a guest was not a pony and therefore wouldn't have a cutie mark anyway, leaving the guests in the dark till the actual interview started. But this marked a time where the air of mystery was at it’s most thickest. With Jon tactfully avoiding naming their occupation and no external hints as to what they did the audience were left to wonder what kind of an interview they would witness. For all they knew these three could be anything from hitman, to flower girls.
Their answers would soon be answered as they slowly began to lower their cheering once the three ponies and pair of humans on stage made their way to the desk; Jon with his usual level of delight as he carefully lowered himself in his seat, the three guests jumping up and down trying to be the first to get up and unto their chair, and Selina busily writing down notes onto her clipboard as she did the entire time on stage.
The three girls were so tiny that they could easily fit in a human sized chair, but since Jon wanted to avoid any conflict brought on by lack of elbow room that he decided to give each filly their own seat, with an extra fourth one for Selina to sit close by. Placing in folded hands on the table, Jon smiled at the sight of his guests having trouble getting into their seat.
The last time Jon had a guests as small in stature as these three was when he had Spike on his show. Back then he helped his small friend by picking him and placing him in his seat before he hurt himself. Following this tradition was Selina herself who took it upon herself to delicately picking up each guests in no particular order and carefully placing them in the seat closest to her working her way to the end. Some audience members shared Jon’s apparent enjoyment in this gesture by letting out a chorus of “Awws” which seemed to have embarrassed the three girls but didn’t penetrate Selina’s cold and calculating look of professionalism. Jon waited till his assistant took her seat before starting the interview, taking another few seconds for the cheering to stop. Once that happened he was ready.
“Thank you girls for joining us here today! Sorry you guys couldn’t have your own ‘Daily Show’ drinking mug we only had one left.” Jon shrugged as he pointed to his own. “Now before we began let me just say how... how incredibly different... all of... a-all of this is.”
With wild hand gestures like he was trying to start a tornado Jon motioned as how crowded it was on set with five individuals as opposed to the usual two.
“Not only do I not uh... not only do I don’t have kids on my show but I don’t think I’ve ever had three guests at once!” Jon exclaimed which made a few audience members quickly hollar in delight. “So basically what... basically what I’m saying here is unless you three have cured cancer or something I’m uh... It’s gonna be hard to convince me that his wasn’t a bad idea.”
Obviously Jon was jesting but the three fillies took this statement to heart as they quickly huddled together like a football team discussing their next play. They spoke at such a hush tone that their mics couldn't pick up what they were saying though the sound of low whispering could be heard. Soon after the three broke up their little gathering to address their human friend.
“What’s cancer?” Applebloom asked, with her two friends sharing the same look of confusion as her own.
“Well, we’re uh... were’ off to a good start.” Jon sighed as he slid hand through his hair and behind his head. “Uh forget-- forget that how... how, how, how about we do this instead! Since there’s three of you how about we do a quick introduction so... so everyone knows who you are.”
Turning now on his seat Jon extended his arm like he was offering to take one of their hooves but in practice was simply drawing the viewers eyes to them, like they were grouped into a display case. The three fillies looked at his hand to see if he was about to give them something when he made a quick gesture for them to look forward.
“Just for clarification... our uh, our guests tonight are three young fillies. And for those who aren’t up to date on equine terms.. i-it mean they’re kids.” Jon said causing a few short bursts of chuckles. “This is also why we’re are joined by my lovely assistant Selina Jensen who is acting as a chaperone to avoid any... legal problems. Say ‘hi’ Selina.”
Hearing her name more than once didn’t seemed to affect her beyond concentration for writing on her clipboard intensifying. It was only when the three young guests began to violently grab ahold of her and shake her back and forth while the crowd tried to cheer her on did she finally surrender. If not for herself than for the sake of her suit which was now getting wrinkled.
Cautiously she looked up to see that all eyes were on her but this only provoked to give a faint smile and an even more fraint wave of the hand before returning to her note taking. Deciding that this was enough Jon then turned back to his actual guests after sharing a quick chuckle with everyone else in the room.
“So... so yes, so not only am I... interviewing children this time around... there’s three of them!” Jon explained in a forced strained voice and matching worried face as he turned to face them once more. “So before we go any further... why don’t you three tell the world, who you are... aaaaand... w-what it is... that you do.”
Standing up on their hind legs all three girls placed their front hooves on the desk for balance as well as to get a good enough height advantage. Between the three of them not a single one of the were looking in the same direction, with one looking at Jon, another one looking at the audience and the third one alternating between the two.
Jon remembered what would happen next so he decided to sit back and allow this soon approaching announcement to just occur.
“I’m Scootaloo!”
“I’m Sweetie Belle!”
“And I’m Applebloom!” The three fillies said in order before coming together to speak in unison. “AND WE’RE THE CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS!”
Since Jon had been bracing himself prior he instinctively was not surprised when their shouting caused a quick burst of audio feedback. Selina wasn’t lucky as she was so surprised that she dropped her pen on the ground.
“Riiight,” Jon responded in a tone that suggested he was unconvinced. “Aaaand... what exactly is... a Cutie Mark Crusader if I may ask.”
In response all three fillies raised their hooves in the air as high as they could, waving it back and forth and chanting “me, me, me, me, me, me.” It was more or less at this point that Jon figured they weren’t too keen on the finer points of how an interview goes. The audience however found this to be adorable so like the school teacher that his own mother was Jon decided to pick a random student.
“Okaaaaay, you!” Jon said pointing to Scootaloo. He would have picked Applebloom but he wanted to avoid playing favorite.
“AWESOME!” The orange Pegasus exclaimed, pumping her fist in delight before clearing her throat. “Okay, okay, okay! We’re the Cutie Mark Crusaders and according to our oath we spend our days trying to figure out what our special talent so we can finally get our own Cutie Marks!”
Her explanation was consistent enough that most understood what she was trying to convey. Her confidence in turn caused the audience to immediately applaud her which ironically made her nervous enough to sit back down behind her friends.
“So... by now I know what a Cutie Mark is but for those who are just tuning in could you... uh... could someone give brief explanation on what exactly a Cutie Mark is.” Jon asked which again caused all three guests to beg for a chance to have a turn to talk. “Okay... let’s go with Sweetie Belle this time.”
“A Cutie Mark is a symbol that appears on a ponies flank and is supposed to represent what we’re good at.” The Unicorn explained right away. “Everypony gets one when they discover that something about themselves that makes them unique and special!”
“That’s why we are the Cutie Mark Crusaders spend everyday trying new things and going on adventures!” Applebloom added. “Because since we aint got no Cutie Marks of our own we’re trying to find out right now what it is that we’re meant to do in life!”
“You know... I’ve been meaning to talk to you three about this.” Jon said as he adjusted himself in his seat. “Don’t... d-don’t you think you girls are a bit young to uh, to be worrying yourself with such things?”
The answer was straight forward enough yet at the same time caused the three fillies to recoil in confusion.
“But... but everypony needs a Cutie Mark!” Applebloom countered.
“Yes I realize that but... but for you three are still so young!” He said. “Why-- I mean not to sound like a cynic, but why burden yourself with something as horribly soul crushing as your destined role in life?”
“Because we’re the only ones who haven’t gotten a Cutie Mark yet!” Scootaloo answered with brutal honesty. “It stinks being a blank flank!”
“Some ponies laugh at us for not having our Cutie Marks because we’re supposed to have them by now.” Sweetie Belle added. “It’s embarassing.”
“Yeah getting a Cutie Mark means you’re all grown up and stuff.” Applebloom added. “Without it you're just a filly.”
“Wait so... so, so, so in Equestria... a pony discovered what they’re true calling in life is... when they’re kids?”
“Yep!” Applebloom nodded.
“That’s depressing.” Jon commented which caused the audience to laugh. “For gods sake you’re still just kids! You should be out... uh, playing games, going outside, and having fun, not trying to discover the thing that will forever define your existence.”
“Oh don’t worry Johnny. We go outside and have fun, loads of times. Right girls?” ,” Applebloom asked, resulting in her two friends nodding in agreement.
“You do?” Jon asked.
“Yeah we’re always doing fun things.” Sweetie Belle assured him.
“Mostly it’s stuff do try and get our Cutie Marks though.” Scootaloo added which made Jon shake his head and sigh while his own audience just laughed.
“Like how last week we tried to get our transportation Cutie Mark by having Scootaloo drive ponies around in her wagon and scooter.” Applebloom listed with her head in the clouds as she tried to recall their past exploits. “Then there was that one time when we tried getting our arts and crafts cutie mark by building a statute modeled after Sweetie Belle but we accidently got her stuck in paper mache cocoon. And we also tried getting our doctors Cutie mark but then got bored and just played jump rope with the gauze.”
Jon wanted to make some kind of witty comment regarding their failed attempts in reaching pony maturity but before he could even respond with so much as a hand gesture Scootaloo took over.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah that last was fun! Like the time we tried to get our rock climbing Cutie Marks when we climbed up the side of a mountain and then saw a cave so we tried to get our spelunking Cutie Marks.” An overly excited Scootaloo recounted. “Then there was that other time we tried to get our deep sea diving Cutie Marks, or the time we thought we could get Cutie Marks in Skydiving... and-- oh, oh, oh remember the day we tried to launch myself into space with a giant slingshot to get our Space travel Cutie Mark? That was a good day!”
“Which reminds me,” Applebloom interjected. “Sweetie Belle, what do we have scheduled for next week?”
Reaching behind her back, at seemingly nothing, the off white unicorn produced a list so long that it not only tumbled on the ground from the bottom but since she started reading from the middle the top portion of the list sprawled all over Jon’s desk.
“Let’s see... uh, next week we’re going to try to get our shark taming Cutie mark, then our digging to the center of earth Cutie Mark, then the trying to get lightning in a bottle Cutie Mark and then we’ll try for our defy the laws of gravity Cutie Mark, the punching through walls Cutie Mark, playing with fire Cutie Mark, and if we have time ghost catching Cutie Mark.”
“You... you guys are seriously gonna spend an entire week trying to do all of that!?” Jon asked with a face like he smelled something putrid.
“Week?” Scootaloo responded.
“Johnny, that’s just monday.” Applebloom replied which caused Jon to slump forward into his own hands.
“Dear god,” Jon moaned over the crowds laughter. “You three need help.”
“Nah, that’s alright!” Scootaloo dismissed. “We don’t need help getting our Cutie Marks.”
“N-no,” Jon said, now getting back up. “That’s not what I--”
“I don’t know, I like it when folks try to help us like that. Like my sister!” Applebloom exclaimed. “She once tried to help me get my house maintenance Cutie Mark by clearing out the gutters, taking out the trash, and painting the side of the barn!”
“My sister helps me too!” Sweetie Belle bragged. “She once tried to help me get my financial Cutie Mark by sorting through all her receipts, files, and spending reports then doing her tax returns.”
“I uh... I don’t think it’s you they’re trying to help.” Jon hinted which unfortunately flew right over their tiny heads.
“What do you mean?” Sweetie Belle asked. “Rarity is always helping me!”
“Oh, oh remember the time we played cops and robbers!?” Scootaloo asked
“Oh yeah I remember that!” Sweetie Belle said. “This one time I went into Rarity’s bedroom and I found a pair of hoof cuffs she kept in her nightstand! I don’t know why she had them but we used them to try to arrest bad ponies and see if we could get our law enforcers Cutie Mark.”
For the first time since her weak introduction Selina looked up at the three guests the second their little anecdote ended. With a worried expression she shot a look that begged for him to swiftly change the subject and based on the look he gave to her in return she could not agree more.
“Wow... it uh... i-i-it sounds like you three have tried... just about everything to get your Cutie Marks!” Jon tried to say over the still bellowing laughter of the audience. “I’m surprised you guys haven’t figured out how to vibrate through walls yet.”
“That’s next thursday.” Sweetie Belle said as she pointed to section of her list.
“Well I... good... good luck with that.” Jon sighed like he was tried. His having to deal with three guests was starting to wear him down. “Look I... good for you for uh... for your determination and tenacity about something you care about, lord knows I know adults who aren’t as ambitious as you three. But... uh, but if you want my opinion... you-- I still say you guys are too young to be worrying yourself about such things.”
“Says you!” Scootaloo countered with such a quick rebuttal that it caused the host to flinch. “But if we’re ever going to be taken seriously we need to get our cutie marks! I mean... everypony else in our class has one!”
“It’s true, when it comes to ponies our age we’re pretty much the only ones who haven’t gotten ours yet.” Sweetie Belle added with sad eyes and lowered head. “It’s hard not to notice when we have too see everypony elses Cutie Marks during school.”
“Hm, I see how annoying that could get. I’m kinda like... ya know I’m reminded of what uh, of what Anthony Hopkins said in the movie Silence of the Lambs ‘you covet when you see everyday.’” He quoted which flew right over the heads of his guests. After Selina shot Jon an odd look for bringing up such a film he switched gears for a moment but still staying on topic. “So do... do any of the other kids at school ever tease you about not having your own Cutie Mark?”
“Some... some of them do?” Applebloom answered in a hurtful tone which made the audience groan with sympathy. “I mean... not every pony picks on us only a couple... and when they do Ms. Cheerilee steps into stop them.”
“Aaaaah I remember Ms. Cheerilee!” He said feeling somewhat nostalgic. “I had her on my show once.”
“I remember that!” Scootaloo barked. “That was totally awesome!”
“I remember that too!” Applebloom added. “I was there when you got her! Do you remember!? Huh? Do ya!?” Before Jon could answer he was interrupted by the more proper of the three three.
“Did you know that Ms. Cheerilee got her Cutie Mark when she was our age!?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“That’s right she did mention that.” Jon recalled as he idly fiddled with his pen in his hands. “If recall her Cutie Mark was... flowers right?”
“Mmmhmm!” Sweetie Belle hummed by nodding her head. “It’s supposed to represent her care for each of her students, and her desire to help them learn and grow.”
“You know... back when I had her on the show I wanted to call her out on that.” Jon revealed.
“What do you mean?” Applebloom asked.
“Okay so... she’s a teacher right?” He asked.
“Right.” All three girls said at once.
“So instead of like... I don’t know a blackboard, or some kind of textbook her Cutie Mark is... flowers.” He said. “Either she’s full of it and she’s actually some kind of gardener or these Cutie Marks of yours work in mysterious ways.”
His point registered with as joke to some of the guests present but not all of them understood that Jon was only poking fun at a friend.
“Hey!” Scootaloo barked. “Are you talking smack about our teacher!?”
“N-no! Never!” Jon nervously laughed as he held his arms up like he was being mugged. “My mom’s a teacher trust me no one respects what they do more than me. Besides Cheerilee is a good friend of mine she knows I’m just joking.”
“That’s right she is a good friend!” Sweetie Belle exclaimed.
“She’s one of the best ponies we know!” Applebloom added. “And if somepony as great as her got her Cutie Mark at our age then I feel we should too!” Sharing her train of logic her two friends looked to her with nodding heads and smiles.
“Well... be that as it may I still say you three are in too much of a hurry to grow up. I know culturally it’s different where uh... w-w-where you’re from but uh... I mean gosh can I see that list of yours?” He asked, leaning forward to grab the schedule for their future activities. Taking it from Sweetie Belle the thumbed through entry after entry of things they had done and were going to do and marveled at how complicatedly dangerous some of them there. “My god girls... this is all just... whatever happened to a simple aptitude test?”
The crowd laughed but the three guests were left wondering what this new cultural difference that flew right of their heads was.
“A what now?” Applebloom asked.
“An aptitude test.” Jon repeated. “You know... a test you take that determines what your future career will be.”
With eyes that lit up like they had witnessed Christmas morning all three fillies simultaneously allowed their jaws to drop in complete surprise over this startling revelation.
“IS THAT REALLY A THING!?” Scootaloo asked as she lunged forward almostly completely atop the Daily Show desk.
“Um... y-yes, yes it is.” Jon answered. “Everyone at my school had to take one.”
“That’s so cool!” Sweetie Belle squealed. “I never thought I’d say this but... I wanna take that test!”
“Me too!” Applebloom added before all three girls started jumping up and down, clammering and pushing like pigs fighting for their chance at a trough full of food. Jon decided to put a stop to this.
“CALM DOWN, YOU GUYS! CALM DOWN!” He said in a loud enough tone that they could hear them. “I’m sorry but I’m afraid you can’t take this test.”
“Awwwwww!” All three fillies said at once before Applebloom asked the obvious question. “Why not.”
“Many reasons. One: This test was made for humans not ponies, Two: You’re too young to even take this test, and Three: They’ve stopped making those years ago.” Jon listed purposely lying on all three counts for the sake of calming them down. It did the trick but they now looked defeated and since having sad children on one’s show wasn’t the smartest business strategy Jon decided to try another route. “But uh, HEY how about... h-how about this! Can I offer some advice?”
All three fillies turned to look at each with a ‘eh why not’ look on each of their faces.
“Sure Johnny.” Applebloom allowed.
“Okay how bout this... how about you three try to find Cutie Marks that’s related to your own race?” Jon said quick on his feet with further explanation. “Like uh... like Scootaloo over here! You’re a Pegasus... why not try to get a Cutie Mark in flying or... some--something like that?”
Though perfectly innocent as it was theoretical the question seemed to have hit a chord with the scrappy and energetic Scootaloo. The second the inquiry passed Jon’s lips it made the purple haired pegasus slink back in her chair while nervously rubbing her arm like someone had punched her.
“Yeeeeaaah, I don’t think that’s going to happen any time soon.” Scootaloo said as her friends each sported a look of worry.
“Why not?” Jon asked.
“I uh... I don’t know how to fly.” She admitted.
Jon was usually a better judge of character but in this instance he was all but certain that he was having his leg pulled.
“Y-eah right... you’re... you’re joking right?” Jon asked. “How... I mean you have wings but you can’t fly? What are ya a chicken? That’d be like... that’d be like if Sweetie Belle here didn’t know how to use magic.”
And another chord was struck.
“Actually, I don’t know how to use magic.” Sweetie Belle intercepted, though unlike her friend wasn’t at all worried guilt ridden about it. “I haven’t taken magic lessons yet.”
“I’m... oh dear.” He mumbled realizing the implication of what he asked. Turning more to his right he addressed Scootaloo once again this time in a more understanding tone. “Honey I am so sorry, I had no idea.”
“Eh, that’s alright.” Scootaloo tried to shrug off. “I’ll learn someday.”
“Maybe uh... maybe Rainbow Dash could teach you?” Jon suggested.
“Yeah!” Scootaloo answered with a newly found bright smile. “That’d be awesome!”
The mere mention of her idol seemed to have perked her up just enough that Jon figured he could have some fun with the subject.
“So let me get this straight,” Jon said as he pointed his finger at each individual pony. “You can’t fly... and you can’t use magic.”
Following his lead each pony nodded their head in agreement which ended up making Jon hunch forward desperately toward his Earthpony friend.
“Okay Applebloom you’re the only one left, help me out here!” Jon asked. “You’re an Earthpony, please tell you know how to kick stuff.”
Following the audience the three fillies began to laugh at Jon’ attempt to “help” them attain their Cutie Marks. Despite his jesting this idea of attaining ones special talent through their own race did give Sweetie Belle an idea. And idea that all three guests had for muscling their way onto his show.
“Actually Johnny... there is one Cutie Mark we’ve always wanted to try and get?” Applebloom hinted
“Really? Which one?” Jon asked now looking at the list he had previously confiscated from Sweetie Belle.
“You won’t find it there.” Sweetie Belle revealed. “It’s actually a Cutie Mark we could only get by coming here... to your world.”
“Oooooh let me guess.” He began. “Yoooou... wanted to get your traveling through worlds cutie mark or being interviewed on TV Cutie mark-- OH, OH, wait, wait I know! Yooooou wanted to get... you're making an old Jewish guy laugh Cutie Mark.”
“Heh, heh, no not those.” Scootaloo chuckled. “Besides we would have gotten those ones by now anyway.”
This in turn made Jon laugh yet again, along with the audience with Sweetie Belle
“Then... then what Cutie Mark are you talking about?” Jon asked, leaning forward in anticipation.
“Weeeeell,” Applebloom said. “We’ve always wanted to try and get our... TV hosting Cutie Mark.”
There was a drawn out silence mostly at the hands of Jon who was now looking at them with squinted eyes.
“I beg your pardon.” He responded.
“We’ve always, always, always, wanted to see if we could get a Cutie Mark in interviewing on TV.” Sweetie Belle explained.
“But we ain't go no TV studios in Ponyville.” Applebloom added.
“Yeah, if we knew someone who had their own show I bet he’d let us try hosting for awhile.” Scootaloo Hinted.
Jon was now starting to understand why the three of them snuck their way into the human world and what they meant by trying to get a Cutie Mark in this world instead of back home.
“Yeah I bet if you did know someone who had their own show that would be very convenient.” Jon began.
“It really, really, really would!” Applebloom agreed as she and her friends all leaned in with begging eyes and innocent smiles.
Jon had already learned this long ago but now that is was happening on live TV those in the human world now knew that the art of children using their innocence to get what they wanted translated in the world of ponies as well.
The crowd chuckled at the sight that was the three guests staring down Jon who was in turn staring at them with an amused look about him. He had long since already made up his mind about what to do about this but he wanted to see how long he could draw it out before finally caving in to a multitude of pressure from both the guests and his own audience.
“Girls?” Jon finally said.
“Yes Jon!” All three said in perfect unison.
“Would you like to host the show for awhile?” He asked.
“Yes, please!” All three answered while jumping up and down so fast the Scootaloo accidently knocked Selina’s clipboard out of her hands.
“Okay,” Jon sighed as he got up from his seat with a smile. “Let’s get this over with.”
The three guests expressed their joy by shouting in glee but it was drowned out by the sound of the crowd jumping to their feet and cheering in joyous anticipation at the sight that was Jon and the three girls getting up and rounding the side of the desk to switch places like it was a game of musical chairs.
Like before the three needed help getting into their new seats. Both Jon and Selina, who had to change locations too, helped a pony get into a chair. The host of the show helped by grabbing two random chairs from the guests side of the desk and swiveling them over to where he was sat whereupon Selina carefully picked up a pony and placed them in a corresponding chair.
It took about a minute but when it was all set and done all three fillies were now on Jon’s side of the desk in their own seat with a single chair now on the interviewees side meant for Jon. Walking over to the other side Jon quickly wave at the still cheering audience before taking his new seat.
Or rather he would have taken his seat were it not for the quests now yelling at him.
“WAIT!” Scootaloo yelled. “STOP!”
“W-what!?” Jon said as he took recoiled his hand from the top of his chair. “What I do!?”
“You’re doing it all wrong!” Sweetie Belle added.
“What... huh, what’ya mean?” Jon asked.
“We’re the ones hosting now! So that means you’re the guest!” Applebloom explained. “You have to go backstage and wait for us to call you out.”
Playing make believe with children was something that Jon was entirely used to. To this day he still occupied a wide range of support characters to his son and daughters imagination fueled antics but this was going quite far.
“Wait, wait, wait, wait a minute.” Jon said over the laughter of the crowd. “So... s-so now only do you want to take over my show but you also want me to walk my own stage as a guest!?”
“Yep!” Applebloom responded with a smile that was enough to get Jon to do as she wished.
“I... alright.” Jon shrugged, making the crowd's laughter evolve into full on cheering. Before actually leaving however Jon reached over back to his side of the desk to grab one of his many blue pages of blank notes to write something down on it. “Just... just do me a favor and read this when it’s time alright?”
“Okay!” All three girls said before Jon sheathed his pen back into his coat pocket and stood up to point to various members of his cast and crew.
“Alright boys you know the drill!” Jon called out as she slowly made his way back stage while clapping his hands for effect. “Just pretend like it’s any other opening and we’ll be fine. Alright let’s do this!”
Before too long Jon had vanished behind the set that lead to the backstage area to a chorus of a cheering with the stagehands working desperately to get them to stop . While this was happening the three girls eagerly shifted in their seats in preparation for their big moment.
For the time being, the Daily Show now belonged to the Cutie Mark Crusaders.
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Jon's interview comes out tomorrow.
peerfit.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/scared-makeup-gif.gif
Oh dear...Alright everyone, into the bunkers..
3970900 Too late, I already locked the door. You guys are on your own.
3970905 Not yours. Your bunker smells funny.
This is gonna be good!
Things are getting interesting.
This is a crossover fic between my two favorite shows, two shows I didn't think could be feasibly crossed-over.
It's like, I don't even care what happens for the rest of the day.
Also, if there isn't a joke about someone eating pizza with a fork, I will be extremely disappointed.
the CMC will take over the world soon
Oh john.
I was going to say that this was wrong, but I'm assuming it happened before the interview that actually had three people.
A+ comedy
Who wouldn't want one?
This is not gonna go well.