In no time Jon rounded the corner and found himself just outside what looked like a bakery. He entered the somewhat busy establishment to find all manner of ponies sitting an enjoying various confectionery treats. This must be the place.
Jon approached the counter where two Earthponies who were too busy spreading frosting on a cake and heaping a costumer respectively, to notice Jon. The Earthpony handling the register was a tall lanky yellow colt with an orange mane while the other pony working on the cake was a shorter light blue mare with a rose colored mane.
It was now Jon's turn to step up to the register. As he approached the Earthpony the intoxicating aroma of pastries filled his senses. This was definitely a bakery.
"Welcome to 'Sugercube corner!'" The cashier said, slowly looking upwards at Jon. "How can I...help...you...today?" Jon leaned in to both look at the selection of treats and to read the cashier's name tag which read 'Mr. Carrot Cake.'
"Yeah, do you guys have any bagels?" Jon asked.
"Uh...well...yes of course we do." Said Mr. Cake who turned to call out to his wife. "Uh honey could you get a bagel for...uh for..."
"Call me 'Jon.'" He interjected. An unaware Mrs. Cake was already emerging from the backroom carrying with her the bagel that her husband had requested.
"Jon huh?" She said, her attention on the bagel to make sure she didn't drop it. "That's a very unique name. Tell me are you from around..."
Mrs. Cake stopped mid sentence at the sight of the Jon towering figure looking down at her, at lost for words all she could do was stare. With no one making a move Jon reached forward and grabbed his treat.
"Don't worry I get that a lot," he said with a wink while pulling out his wallet. "So how much do I owe ya?"
"Uh...two bits" Said Mr. Cake.
Jon was somewhat taken aback; he had no idea was a "bit" was. He wondered if he could get away with paying with a dollar bill or two or if there was even an exchange rate between US and Equestrian currency. When he opened his wallet he noticed that if felt somewhat heavier than usual. Upon further inspection the bills that he had withdrawn the day before were gone and replaced with gold coins.
"Celestia how do you do it?" Jon thought, taking out two gold coins. He placed them on the counter and after getting a nod of approval made his way to the door.
The still awestruck Mrs. Cake was jolted from her daze by the sound of crying coming from another room. With a quick dash she ran up upstairs.
"Toddlers?" Jon called out, looking at Mr. Cake.
"Uh yeah," he responded with a nervous laugh as he rubbed his head. "Twins…only a few months old."
"Ah...I've been there." Jon said with a nod. "Trust me it gets better."
Jon opened the door back to Ponyville while at the same time taking a bite out of his newly acquired bagel.
"Hmmm...not bad," he said, taking a step outside and closing the door. "New York's is better."
As Jon walked in no particular direction he thought that perhaps a mom and pop style bakery owners would be interesting characters to have on his show. If they were any good at being interviewed as they were at making food they would do just fine.
Jon now found himself on a new street with new ponies but getting the same treatment as before. Endless faces starting at him. But he didn't care, he was too busy enjoying the fresh air and his treat.
It was so quiet that Jon could hear the sound of someone trotting behind him, but he gave it no mind. Though in time the sound got louder and louder and the attention of the ponies around him shifted from Jon to whatever it was making the noise. The sound grew in volume as if it was getting closer; now Jon was curious. He turned around to see what it was but it was too late. All he saw was a flash of green before tumbling to the ground.
With the sun now in his eyes Jon had a hard time seeing what was going on. All he knew was he was flat on his back and something was standing on top of him. As his vision slowly adjusted to the sun beating down on him he could see clearly now what had mounted him with a look on her face as she'd just found the Holy Grail. It was a mint colored Unicorn, her mane a pale cyan with streaks of white. She stared at Jon with eyes filled with wonder and her horn was uncomfortably close to his face.
"HEY!" She yelled. "You're the human everyponies talking about! Can you understand me?!"
Jon tried to respond back but couldn't as a chunk of bagel that he had previously tried to swallow was lodged in his throat. Noticing this, the Unicorn's large smile gave way to a look of dread.
"Oh no!" She exclaimed. "Don't worry I'll help ya!" With that the young mare began to violently jump up and down on Jon's stomach. The first three jumps yielded no results but after the fourth jump the half eaten glob of food ejected itself from Jon's windpipe. Jon gasped for air though it was still hard to breath with the Unicorn still standing on top of him.
"There we go!" Jon's attacker announced. "Can you breathe?" Jon didn't answer but instead continued to lay on the ground with his eyes shut, trying to focus on his breathing. The Unicorn however took this as meaning that he was unconscious so she raised her hoof in the air to smack him across the face, in an effort to wake him up.
Before she could strike however the mint colored Unicorn was grabbed from behind by a cream colored Earthpony with a blue and pink streaked mane.
"Lyra get off of him!" The nazely Earthpony screamed. "What in the name of Celestia do you think you're doing?!"
"Oh there you are Bon Bon!" Lyra said. "I was just helping out my new friend the human!"
"Helping? It looked like you were attacking him!" Bon Bon scolded. She turned her attention to Jon, extending her hoof to try and help him up.
"I am so sorry!" She said. "Please forgive my friend she can be...very enthusiastic. Are you ok?"
"Oh you worry too much," Lyra said. "He's fine. Right Mr. Human?" Jon grabbed Bon Bon hoof and slowly lifted himself up.
"I have a name you know," he said, standing up. "It's Jo-AAAAAAAAAAAAHN" Jon lurched forward in pain. Lyra's tackle had done more than cause him to joke on his bagel it also threw out his back.
"See! Look what you did!" Bon Bon yelled, jabbing Lyra with her hoof. "You injured him!"
"W-wait I can fix this!" A guilty looking Lyra said. She galloped behind Jon and pointed her now glowing horn at Jon's lower back. Although Jon couldn't see what was going on he was still nervous at the prospect of this Unicorn 'helping' him again. He could have ran away but the pain prevented him from doing much of anything.
"Wait, wait, wait!" He urged. "I'm fine really you don't have to--"
Before Jon could even contemplate what was happening his lower back jerked forward with a crack. Jon was now standing straight up with a look of discomfort plastered all over his face. Lyra then used her magic to expand and contract the muscles in his back which felt surprisingly pleasant.
The sudden sensation of pain followed by pleasure caused Jon to fall forward again.
"You killed him!" Bon Bon yelled.
"But!...but I didn't mean to!" Lyra cried. "Does anypony have a shovel?!"
"Wait! I'm fine!" Jon exclaimed as he slowly stood up.
"You're alive!" Lyra exclaimed, running around to get a better view of him. "Feeling better?"
"Actually...yeah a lot better really. " Jon said, swiveling around in place to see if the pain was truly gone. "Usually something like that would cost me hundreds of dollars so thanks...I guess."
Jon wanted to ask if her services came with a happy ending but decided not too as things were already weird enough.
"You’re welcome!" Lyra said looking over at Bon Bon who was glaring at her. "Oh..and sorry for hurting you."
"Eh it's ok, I've experienced worse." He said. "If I can survive Applejack kicking me in the stomach I can handle you."
Both Lyra and Bon Bon gave each other a look.
"Wait, what did you say?" Bon Bon asked. "Applejack kicked you?"
"Yeah she did," Jon answered. "Not too long ago when I surprised her on her farm."
"I knew you looked familiar!" Lyra exclaimed. "You're the host of 'The Daily Show.'"
"Yes I am. Jon Stewart at your service." He said, with a forced smile. With his back now in better condition he leaned forward to shake both their hooves. Lyra for some reason took longer to let go and was staring at Jon's hand the entire time.
"Oh wow, I love your show! " Bon Bon added. "Oh sorry I'm Bon Bon and this is Lyra. What are you doing here in Ponyville? Are you heading somewhere?"
"I'm on vacation." Jon said, rubbing the back of his head. "As for where I was going I don't quite remember."
"See what you did!?" Bon Bon scolded at Lyra. "You gave him amnesia!"
"Did not!" Lyra shot back. "He probably just forgot cause he's real old!" Bon Bon hesitantly shoved a hoof in Lyra's mouth and the other around her neck. She looked at Jon with a sorry expression.
"She didn't mean it!" Bon Bon said. "Please if you need help getting around town I'm sure I can help."
"She sure can!" Lyra said with a smirk, as she managed to momentary brake free. "This one’s really knows how to 'get around town' if you know what I mean."
"HUSH YOU!" Bon Bon demanded as she wrapped both her hooves over Lyra's mouth.
Jon watched as Bon Bon continued to muzzle her friend while Lyra tried using her magic to break free. Seeing her horn light up with magic once more gave Jon an idea.
"Actually maybe you can help me," Jon said, now having both ponies full attention. "I'm doing some research on this place and I'm wondering if you could point me to the nearest library."
"Sure I can," Bon Bon said, pointing at a building behind Jon. "You'll find lots of useful source material over there!"
"Thank you. I'd love to stay and chat but I gotta go." Jon said, lightly jogging towards his new location. Lyra finally broke free from Bon Bon's grasp and tried to follow him though Bon Bon wouldn't allow it. So instead she decided to ask one final question.
"Hey Mr. Stewart!" She called out. "Why you doing research on us anyway?" Jon stopped for a second to call back to her.
"Cause I'm planning on invading your world and keeping you all as my slaves!" Jon yelled back and was once again on his way. Lyra put her hoof over her mouth to hold back her laughter while Bon Bon had a look of worry on her face.
With his new destination clear in sight Jon took a second to admire its architectural design. It was a two story building that was partially built inside a tree. It was certainly different than anything he'd seen thus far. Jon found that the door was unlocked so he let himself in.
To Jon it looked like more of a house than anything else thought there were plenty of books around for anyone to justify calling it a library.
"Hello?" Jon called out. "Anyone here?" With no answer Jon gave a shrug and walked over to one of the many book shelves. He began to browse row after row till he found something that jumped out at him.
Between Celestia teleporting him here without him knowing and Lyra fixing his back Jon's interest in pony magic was at an all time high. So much so that he was thinking about inviting a Unicorn on the show next. He had gotten a taste magic that day and he wanted more; before doing so however he decided to do a little research first. Eventually he found a book that looked promising. When Jon read the introduction he learned it was about Unicorn spells. The book was called "Advance spells and Enchantments" and was written by someone called Starswirl the Bearded. Jon decided to peruse through it a bit before going to another book.
A few minutes had passed and already Jon had learned a lot of Unicorn culture. Some of the spells he read about ranged from everyday uses to expert level incantations. Along with spells the book also provided some chapters on Unicorn history, this was exactly what he needed.
Jon wanted to ask someone if he could check it out but there was still no one to be found. Jon now desperate walked up stairs to see if the librarian was present in another room. The results of Jon's exploration was not the librarian but a familiar face sleeping in a bed. It was none other than the first Equestrian citizen Jon had ever had as a guest on his show.
"Spike?" Jon called out to the sleeping dragon. "Is that you?"
"Huh, who's there?" Spike said as he slowly got up from his bed. Before Jon could answer Spike leaped from his bed and in a panic fell over the side of the walkway and landed on lower level. Jon scrambled back down the stairs to see if he was alright.
"Oh geez I didn't mean to scare you!" Jon said. "Are you ok?" Spike sat up and after a brief moment of dizziness started to run around the lobby picking up books that were in messy little piles on the floor and climbed up different ladders to reshelf them.
"Please don't tell Twilight I was asleep!" Spike begged. "I was suppose to clean up the place but I was real tired so I--" Suddenly spike stopped in his tracks and dropped the books he had collected.
"Is that you, Jon?" Spike said peering down from atop a ladder.
"Do you know any other humans?" Jon asked with a smile.
"JON!" Spike yelled as he slid down the ladder and ran up to give him a hug. "It's great to see you again!"
"Same here little man." Jon responded, ruffling the scales on his head.
"What are you doing here?" Spike asked, offering Jon a seat.
"I'm on vacation." Jon said sitting down. "As for why I'm here in this library its cause I'm doing some research on Unicorns. You don't live here do you?"
"I sure do," Spike responded looking at the book of spells he had in his hand. "Unicorns huh? Is this for your show?"
"You could say that," Jon said. "I've never interviewed a Unicorn before and I'm just now starting to learn about their magic. It's really quite fascinating."
"Oh I see," Spike said. "Well if its magic you’re interested in you should talk to Twilight."
"Twilight?" Jon said, caressing his chin. "Oh yeah Twilight. She's your...guardian isn't she?"
"Yeah she's the best magic user in all of Equestria!" Spike exclaimed. "I mean she is Princess Celestia's Pro..uh her Pro..ta shay?"
"Really?" Jon asked as the gears in his head stared to turn. "So she's good with magic huh?"
"Oh the best!" Spike answered. "In fact she once--" Just then the door to the library swung open startling both Jon and Spike.
"Spike I'm home!" A voiced called out. What followed was the appearance of a lone lavender Unicorn. Her mane was an even darker shade of purple livened up with a pink and magenta streak. Her head was in a book but upon seeing the mess she had left still present gave a sigh and lowered her head in disappointment.
"Oh Spike I thought I told you to...Oh! I didn't realize we had company." She said looking at Jon. Her attention quickly went back to the scattered piles of books and blushed slightly as she continued to address Spike.
"See Spike this is why we need to keep this place nice and tidy," She scolded. "I'm sorry sir but we--" It was at that moment that Twilight realized that her guest was a human. She stopped to a moment to look at Jon, admiring his presence.
"Say...don't I know you from somewhere?" She asked, squinting her eyes.
Spiked leaped forward, relieved that her attention was now on Jon rather than him.
"Don't you remember my trip to New York?" He said. "This is--"
"Stewart!" Jon said, getting up to shake her hoof. "Jon Stewart. It's a pleasure to finally meet the famous Twilight Sparkle."
"Wait, you're the Jon Stewart?" Twilight asked in surprise. "Wait you...you know who I am?" The gravity of the situation was starting to set in for her.
"Well your reputations precedes you." Jon continued. "Listen this may be very sudden but tell me...what are you doing Monday night?"