• Published 24th Jul 2012
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The Daily Show presents: Equestrian Interviews - Daily Show Ponies



Jon Stewart interviews various MLP: FiM characters at the end of an episode of 'The Daily Show'

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Episode 11 [Rainbow Dash]: Jon's free falling adventure

The only direct interaction Jon ever had with magic was his dealings with Celestia and for a brief moment in time with Twilight Sparkle, both of whom were tasked with transporting him to and from Equestria. In both cases they teleported Jon instantaneously due to their respective understanding of Magic, but with Trixie it was different.

Her magic wasn't as refined as theirs and as a result it took a few seconds for Jon to reappear in the world of talking ponies. The time between his departure from New York and his eventual arrival in Cloudsdale was spent in an almost purgatory-esque state of existence. But due to the carelessness of Jon he could not see anything as he had foolishly opened his eyes at the moment of the spells activation, momentarily blinding him. His sight slowly began to return in conjuncture with his return to Equestria.

"Trixie!? A-are you still there?" Jon called out as he stumbled backwards in the empty void. "Did it work? Hey! Can anyone hear me? I'm I in CloudsdaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Before Jon could fully regain his sight he felt a sudden explosion of different sensations. He felt as if he was falling down, like someone had pulled the ground from beneath his feet. Any attempt to find his center of gravity was met with much difficulty. In addition he suddenly felt cold but at the same time he can feel the suns warm rays beating down on him.

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!?" Jon yelled out in a panic. "WHERE AM I!?" The sound of wind rushing by him was so great he could barely hear himself let alone the voice of anyone who could answer him. He called out again but no one responded to his cries for assistance, he was completely alone.

Soon Jon's vision came back in full. He took this time to look up, or what he believed to be up. He was surrounded by a thick layer of fog too dense for him to see past and judging by how bright it was it was morning in Equestria. Before Jon could call for help again he successfully passed through the seemingly endless wave of fog and was now greeted by endless blue skies. Still looking in an upwards direction Jon could now see that what he thought was thick fog was in fact clouds, each one bearing evidence that he had penetrated it in the form of a hole.

A disturbing thought crossed his mind and with much hesitation he began to shift his weight so he could see below him, and what he saw terrified him to the point where he lost the feeling in every muscle. He could see open land spread out of miles, along with the occasional town and even the Canterlot Castle further in the distance. Jon's mind raced with dozens of possible explanations as to what went wrong or what was happening all leading to one solitary point. He was now free falling down to earth and would soon die.

"H..h-help...h...help" Jon said, his voice steadily rising. "Help me! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SOMEONE HELP!!!" As if they had a mind of their own his arms began to flail wildly in an attempt to grab a hold of something, He looked in all directions for signs of life but none could be found, though even if there was it would be difficult for him to see them with the constant gust of wind in his eyes.

The barely audible screams of help continued to go unnoticed and his sore throat forced him to stop for the time being. He covered his ears, which were popping uncontrollably, to drown out the sound of wind so he could think. No good ideas came to mind, as evident by his continued attempt to call out for help.

"SOMEONE HELP ME!" He screamed again. "PLEASE HELP...I DON'T WANT TO DIE!"

Although he tried his hardest not to he eventually looked back down at the world laid out before him like an open book. It was hard to tell at first but the landmarks that at first seemed so far away were now bigger, which meant that he was getting closer and closer to the unforgiving ground.

In a last ditch effort Jon began to cry to the one who brought him here in the first place.

"Trixie! Trixie if you can hear me get me out of here!" He shouted. But like before no one answered, though that didn't stop him from trying again. "Trixie I swear to god if you don't get me out of here right now I'll sell your blue ass to a glue factory then I'll turn you over to Celestia and she'll--"

Jon stopped himself mid rant. He had unintentionally given himself an idea, an idea that he wouldn't normally consider but in this case he made an exception... he was very desperate.

Reaching into his sports jacket he pulled out his cell phone, his plan was to call Celestia and have her use her magic to save him. The wind in his face made it very difficult for him to see where or what he was typing. Luckily he still had her number dialed from when he tried calling her in his study, prior to Trixie's interference.

However his luck ended when he tried to press dial. After hitting a little bit of turbulence the phone slipped from his grasp, the constant stream of upwards wind was too strong for Jon to handle. Time seemed to slow down for Jon, he watched in horror as his phone began to hover overhead and eventually out of reach.

"NO!" Jon yelled as he tried and failed to grab his phone which was now miles above him. Out of morbid curiosity he looked back down and noticed that the ground seemed a lot closer than before; the longer he fell the faster his velocity became...his eventual contact with solid ground was getting closer.

Jon's tried to keep his eyes open but it was difficult since he slowly starting to lose control of his senses. His body, as if trying to lessen the inevitable pain, began to shut down and slip into an unconscious state. With the last bit of energy he had left he tried one more time to call for help; his voice weak and his body almost numb.

"Help....me." He said as his eyes closed. "Help....please."

But just as he was about to slip away something incredible happened. All at once, and without warning, Jon's deadly decent came to a sudden halt, forcing him to awake once again. The resulting velocity of going from 250 miles an hour to a complete stop caused a great deal of pressure to go to his lower stomach; he was now awake but he had to do everything in his power to prevent himself from regurgitating whatever food he had left in his system.

He was aware of his surroundings but his senses were still dull. Despite his vision not fully returning he could see a vast and beautiful scenery which, much to Jon's relief, was standing still. His ears were ringing from the pain of falling from such a high altitude as they had popped several times. He closed his eyes and grabbed his heart which was beating so rapidly he could hear it. Never before was he so grateful that his wife had put him on a strict egg whites only diet.

His main priority at the moment was trying to focus on his breathing which was difficult since he was hyperventilating.

Jon was still unsure as to why he had stopped falling; did Trixie save him after all? Did he land on something soft? Or maybe Celestia did hear his cries for help. In truth he didn't care, he was just happy that he was saved.

His ears were starting to regain their function, the first thing he could hear was the faint sound of someone talking, though it was hard to make out. Slowly the muffled sounds got louder and clearer to the point where Jon could now understand it.

"...eeeeey! I said are you alright?" The voice asked. "Hey common wake up, big guy." Along the with strangers voice Jon could also hear another faint noise. It was the sound of wings flapping...had Jon been rescued by a guardian angel?

With all of his senses now returning (though not all at once) Jon could feel something holding him up on either side of him. He looked to his left and right and saw a pair of hooves, each one firmly under an armpit. Slowly Jon looked upwards and was now staring straight into the eyes of his rescuer.

"You ok, dude?" The tomboyish voice said. "I swear you tourists are getting crazier every year!"

The person looking back at Jon was a pony...a Pegasus to be exact. She was cyan colored and her eyes were purple. She seemed very strong since she was able to hold Jon up with her hooves and keep them both afloat with her wings with very little effort.

For the first time ever Jon actually recognized a citizen of Equestria without having them introduce themselves. This was done through simple inference since the biggest and most visual feature about her was her mane which, along with being somewhat messy, was a multitude of technicolor.

"Rain...Rainbow Dash?" Jon asked sheepishly.

"Yep!" She responded with a smile. "That's me!"

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