Ever found yourself walking on a park, falling into a wormhole, and waking up on Equestria? Were you a common pony living your life, and suddenly woke up chained on a basement?

Don't worry, because the new subdivision of secret things is here to help you!

And relax; in the end, you'll not remember a thing about it.

Mort, also known as the Pale Pony (of Death), has been tasked to take time off from his rigorous duties of reaping souls. Seeking guidance, he is directed towards the town of Ponyville, to learn about the magic of friendship from Twilight Sparkle and her friends. All he needs to do is keep his true nature a secret. That shouldn't be too difficult...right?

Special thanks to Specter-Von-Baren and Pyrite Foolsgold for their help in proofreading and editing this story, as I really needed it. Additional thanks to Pilate, Chuckle5, Unimpressive Vagaries and Admiral Biscuit as well! Couldn't have done it without all their help!

Credit for the title card goes to Siansaar, AKA Carnifex.

For another excellent take on Mort, check out Sip's version!

Maud Pie has studied rocks. She has written poetry about rocks. She has played games with rocks. She has spent great amounts of time among rocks. But she has never been a rock, and now she intends to change that.

But will petrification be all it's cracked up to be?

Discord, being the curious Spirit of Chaos he is, decides to bring in Jesus to explain what exactly Easter means. The answer is more surprising than you'd think.

Yes, a story about Jesus, chill out and roll with it.

Featured on Equestria Daily
Review by Undead_Wanderer
Audio Book Version by Mr. Kenyon
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4

Harvey Grimwold was a respected member of the Hell's Angels motorcycle gang. He rode a wicked hog, wore the best leather, and had an awesome beard. Then that same awesome beard turned into Pinkie Pie and his life turned upside down.

Tired of Luna's constant nagging, Celestia agrees to give internet dating a try. Using the website www.notforeveralone.com, Luna helps Celestia go on dates with potential immortal suitors. Shouldn't be too hard to find true love, right?

You can make a suggestion for any immortal across any manner of genre or fiction for Celestia to date next. Just make sure they're immortal for it to work.

Updates every Tuesday and Friday.

Guest chapters for immortals I have not covered are welcome, since I won't be able to write about every suggestion someone has. Note that all guest chapters are non-canon from the main story, so there is a bit of leeway to them. Talk to me over PM's for any further discussion.

Thanks to my editors The Ponytrician and Garnot for all their help!

Cover art from the hilarious tumblr you all should check out, ~Letters For Celestia~

Bored one evening, Discord suggests to Celestia that they spice things up by seeing who's best at doing the other's job: he'll handle keeping things harmonious, and she'll be there to throw a big ol' spoonful of chaos into the mix whenever she feels like it. To his surprise, she agrees to do it. He's certain he's got this one in the bag—after all, how hard can something as boring as harmony be?

He shouldn't have underestimated his opponent.

UPDATE: Featured 2-15-14!
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For the Writer's Training Ground #007 down at Equestria Daily. Originally posted on my DA account, due to timing issues.
Cover Art and MLP:FiM in general © Hasbro/Lauren Faust

Scootaloo is a small pegasus with big dreams, one of those dreams is to be even more famous than her idol, Rainbow Dash. To get there, though, she needs to do a bit of growing, and first of all she needs to learn how to fly. A new invention from her friend Doctor Whooves may get her there in no time at all, literally before she knows it.

Cover image from Snapai! http://snapai.deviantart.com/art/Buck-to-the-Future-260010765

Anypony would have laughed if you'd told them that Discord was flirting with Twilight Sparkle a few weeks ago. She'd never give him a chance, right?
Well, once his spectacularly obvious advances on her commence, Equestria is shocked; she isn't out right rejecting him. In fact, she may even be interested.
The HORROR!

WARNING: The dark tag is for a reason. Ye be warned.
[Other] tag is to accommodate additional characters.

EDIT: Featured 10/22/14! Thank you so much! I didn't expect this to happen at all.

The wonderful people who edit and proofread my story ^^

A secret unknown to any hornless pony, unicorn horns are made of candy. Pinkie Pie found out, and now she wants to try every flavor!

Warning: contains awkward moments and far too much non-consensual horn licking. Proceed at the risk of your horn and your dignity.

Available in Chinese, courtesy of Hell Organist.
Available in Russian, courtesy of boatOV.
Audio Reading by CaptainBron3y.
Second Audio Reading by Kanjigirl.
Featured on Equestria Daily.

Based on this story:
Pegasus Wings Are Made Of Ice Cream
The Taste Of Madness
Lyra's Candy Shoppe
Candy Is Made Of Unicorn Horns
How Many Licks?
To Prevent Horn Decay
Unicorn Horns Are Made of Heroin
Over His Dead Body
A Luscious Loophole
Dr. Doofenshirtz's Sweet Revenge
That Thing We Do
#DealWithIt
Unicorn Horns are...
Unicorn Horns Are Loaded With Calories
Charlie The Unicorn's Horn Is Made Of Candy